


Nightmare Game

by SisterWicked



Series: Nightmare Game [1]
Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:36:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 103,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2715776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SisterWicked/pseuds/SisterWicked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lavi finds himself playing by someone else's rules..What does it take to break a person? LUCKY Anal,Angst,Bond,N/C,Yaoi  Visit my archive for fic, media and more. http://asshat.0fees.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nightmare Game  
Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
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Well, here's a Lucky fic for you guys.. My first, so bear with me while I get the characters down, eh? Thanks!  
And in addition to that:  
Dear Fangirls: I would just like to say, fuck everyone who faves or alert adds without leaving a review, no matter how brief. Srsly, Fuk u with a pigpen fencepost. Now on with the fic.  
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lavi shook his head, moaning at the sharp throb that settled between his eyes. Opening the right one, he blinked as an unfamiliar room swam into focus. "Where.. _Oof!_ " He grunted in surprise as his attempt to rise brought him into immediate contact with the ground, his arms refusing to obey his mind's command to stop his fall.

Struggling awkwardly, he realized that his arms were held tightly behind him, his bindings nearly cutting off the sensation to his limbs. "What the FUCK!" He yelled, flopping ungracefully to his side. "Who did this?!"

His angry demand was met with a soft laugh, causing his breath to catch in his throat. "Where are you? Let me go, you bastard!"

His face scraped painfully on the rough ground as he turned his head, seeking out the source of the derisive chuckles. " _Shit!_ " He swore, his eye watering with stinging tears as he felt the skin of his cheek give way to the jagged rock beneath him.

"Such language! I thought the priesthood had rules about that sort of thing." He caught a slight movement from the extreme edge of his vision, ignoring the renewed pain in his abused face to whip his head around.

A tall figure moved in the shadowy recesses of the room, the guttering light of a scant few candles failing to illuminate the speaker. "Ah, you've hurt yourself.. You should be more careful, little Exorcist. You really are quite lovely, for one so disfigured." He scowled angrily.

"When I get out of these, I'll show you disfigured! Who are you?" Again, the figure only laughed, the voice strangely familiar as it's owner stepped closer. "Stop laughing and answer me! What the hell do you want?!"

The man's next statement chilled him deeply, his eye widening in disbelief. "I'm wounded that you could forget me so easily, Boy. I expected a clearer memory from a Bookman, even an apprentice."

Lavi shook his head desperately. "It can't be you, you're dead! All of you sick bastards are dead!"

His captor hummed in amusement, stepping into the light. "Oh? And I suppose you attended the funerals for us, saw our bodies? Perhaps the others, but not _me_. Your idiotic friends may have slain my siblings, but they never thought to make sure that we were truly dead."

Lavi could only stare helplessly up at the golden-eyed man in horrified shock. He no longer wore the exquisitely tailored gentleman's suit, but the loose hair and angular eyes of the Noah of Pleasure were unmistakable. The cross-shaped markings that had previously adorned his high forehead were nothing more than sunken scars, barely noticeable unless the man's hair was swept back to reveal them.

"Does your silence mean that you _do_ remember me, Boy? I'm flattered to have left such a lasting impression after our brief meetings." The man approached his quarry steadily, his eyes never leaving the boy's pale face. "Oh, come now. Don't look at me as if you expect me to kill you! It is not my intention to hurt you at all, Little One."

Lavi snarled at his condescending tone, struggling to free himself as the man's unhurried steps brought him within kicking distance. "Oh, I'm _totally_ convinced now. Thanks for clearing that up." He clenched his almost-numb fists, straining against the skillfully tied knots with a growl of frustration. "How about you get these off me, oh benevolent one? I think it's customary to treat your guests with some level of respect."

Tyki Mikk snorted indelicately, shaking his head. "Indeed. I suppose we could make ourselves an evening of it, reminiscing on past battles and rivalries." He knelt by the panting Exorcist's side, his hands crossed on top of his bent knees. "Alas, I doubt that you're of a mind for conversation. Do you need proof that I'm real, Boy? How does this suit your analytical mind?"

He reached forward, drawing a finger through the glistening trail of blood on the boy's cheek. Bringing it to his smirking lips, he sucked at the tip thoughtfully. "Hm, you could do with more salt in your diet. Do you have a name, Boy? Or has the old man taken even that from you?"

Lavi shuddered at his touch, jerking away in disgust. "No one's taken _anything_ from me! And as for a name, why would I tell it to you, if you don't already know it?" The man laughed softly, shaking his head.

"So ill natured.. What harm would it do to give me your name? Surely your Order no longer believes that a name given willingly can be used to compel it's holder?" He sighed in mock injury. "So be it then. Tyki Mikk, as you knew him, no longer exists. The human Tyrone Michaels has taken his place, at least in the eyes of your fellow man." He smiled almost frighteningly wide, his yellow eyes gleaming with mirth. "Will you do me the honor of returning my introduction, Lovely?"

The boy's face wrinkled in disgust at his friendly tone. "Oh, _certainly_. My name is Screw. As in screw you, asshole. Pleased to make your acquaintance, now would you mind untying me before you run along and play a nice game of Hide and Go Fuck Yourself?"

The man barked in surprised laughter, waving a long-fingered hand at the fuming Exorcist. "Well, you are a feisty one, aren't you? I think it rather suits you, from what I've heard of redheads." He placed a hand on the ground, leaning close enough that the boy could smell the faint scent of sweat and cologne on his dark skin. "You were quite rude before, as well. What was it that you said? Oh, yes! _'The one with the mole is mine'_. I should have thought that someone of your profession could have picked a more.. Outstanding characteristic for identification."

His voice lowered slightly, all traces of mirth erased as he continued. "Your friend with the sword cut short our first meeting, and then the Walker boy interrupted our last. We never had a chance to meet properly, did we?"

Lavi glared up at him from his awkward position. "I never got to introduce you to my Innocence, either. That's the only thing about meeting you that I regret, bastard." He jerked against his restraints with renewed vigor, struggling for traction on the rough floor. "How many of the Noah survived? Without the Earl, you're just a gang of odd men out, aren't you?"

Tyki smirked, reaching toward the other again. "Oh, I think I may have had the good fortune to be the sole survivor. And you're quite right. Without the Earl, the term 'Noah' really has no more meaning." He knelt completely, his knees settling carefully on the crudely paved ground. "I'm not that person now, I'm merely a man with rather unusual talents. Would you like to see, Pretty?" Without waiting for a reply, he allowed the tips of his fingers to come into contact with the boy's skin, a tingle of almost electrical energy sparking at his touch.

Lavi gasped in revulsion, hurling himself back, unmindful of the new scrapes to his already bleeding skin. "Don't you fucking touch me!" He snapped, fighting for balance as he struggled to his knees. "I swear to God I'll kill you, human or not!"

The older man sighed ruefully, shaking his head. "I told you, I'm not going to bring you pain, Boy. You belittle yourself with your crudeness." He eyed the other's ragged form critically. "You've managed to make quite a mess of yourself, for someone who's tied up. We can't have that, now can we?" He rose, striding forward purposefully as the Exorcist fought to back away. "Oh, _do_ stop that. If I wanted to hurt you, you'd already be dead, Boy. What power remains in my grasp is merely a shadow of what you saw before."

He reached behind his back, his hand reappearing with a delicately-shaped knife. "I carry these for my own protection," He said casually, fingering the gleaming edge. "I've had them for a long time, a gift from an old friend." He smiled suddenly, his free hand darting out to grasp the boy's jacket firmly as he hauled him fully to his knees. "I've kept them sharp, in memory of the gesture. They're quite deadly, if I need them to be." He flipped the blade expertly in his palm, slicing deftly into the thick material of the black jacket.

"I haven't found anything that they wouldn't cut, given enough time." He continued his task, severing the tightly sewn seams of the boy's garment until it hung in loose tatters of cloth. "Much better," He murmured, pulling the strips of material free from their places to uncover his captive's undershirt. "It looks as though you've managed to keep this clean despite your efforts to the contrary. Your pants, on the other hand.."

He smiled at the boy's hostile glare. "Do you like being dirty, Boy? I should think that you'd be grateful for my generosity in light of your rudeness." His smile never wavered as he hooked the Exorcist's waistband with the edge of his blade. "Your lack of trust is most unsatisfactory." With that said, he ripped the knife through both cloth and leather, allowing the belt buckle and pants button to fall to the floor with matching clinks.

Lavi resumed his struggles despite the proximity of the older man's knife hand, his eye wide with sudden trepidation. "Get off! I'd rather be covered in horse shit than ask you for anything!" Tyki laughed quietly, releasing his hold as the startled Exorcist jerked away. " _Son of a Bitch!_ " He yelled, feeling himself tip sharply backwards. Bracing himself for a painful impact with the floor, he sucked in a surprised breath as the former Noah pressed a hand to his back, halting his fall.

"You are determined to make this as difficult as possible, aren't you?" The man raised an eyebrow at his continued struggles. "Didn't I tell you that I have no intention of harming you, Little Exorcist? That includes allowing you to harm yourself." He eased the other's rigid body down, lying him back full length on the cold ground. Avoiding a swift kick, he stepped nimbly over the redhead's body, dropping quickly to his knees. His position effectively pinned the younger male to the floor, his desperate attempts to roll away hindered by his still-bound hands.

Resting his weight on the boy's abdomen, the golden-eyed man took a moment to shake his head tiredly. "Now that you're back on the floor, do you think I could get your name, Lovely? Look at it as starting over, if that assuages your dignity."

Lavi made a sound of righteous indignation, bucking upward in a vain attempt to dislodge the man from his perch despite the rough stone that dug furrows into the skin of his hands. "Go to hell! Get the fuck off of me, and stop calling me stupid things!"

Tyki blinked down at him in feigned surprise. "Stupid things? On the contrary, I think it suits you." His eyes narrowed slightly as he grinned. "Unless there's something else I could call you? No? Then Lovely it is, until I think of something more fitting."

The boy's face colored with ire, his face stinging as sweat from his exertions ran unchecked over the torn skin of his cheek. "For an evil guy, you're starting to bore me. Do you think you could get on with the torture and mental warfare already? I've got places to go, people who actually _matter_ to see.."

The man frowned in the first stages of annoyance. "Did you hit your head, Lovely? I keep telling you that I'm not going to hurt you, is that too difficult for you to understand?" He leaned forward slightly, placing a hand beside the boy's blind side. "Let me make it plainer for you, then. Do you remember what my place in the Noah was, when you met us?"

Lavi scowled up at him, refusing to look away despite the older man's closeness. "Weren't you the one that stood around looking nice and innocent until someone's back was turned?" Tyki's eyes gleamed strangely for a moment as he visibly collected himself.

"No, Lovely. I was the embodiment of Noah's pleasure. My preferences aside, I find it oddly satisfying that you don't know that." He smiled wickedly, a faint trace of his former self in the expression. "All manner of pleasures, from the barest feelings of happiness to the most intense of joys." His free hand rose suddenly, joining it's mate on the ground beside the Exorcist's head as he bent still closer. "Perhaps you need another example?"

Lavi stiffened, willing himself to sink into the ground as the man lowered his face purposefully. When he could feel the faint stirrings of the other's breath on his skin, he jerked away, averting his face in open revulsion. "No!" He pressed urgently against the rough ground, straining to shift himself backward. " _Don't!_ "

Tyki paused, his eyes regaining their almost copper hue as he smiled. "Why are you frightened, Lovely? Does the idea of pleasure unnerve you so?" He lifted a hand to the other's unscathed cheek, forcing his head around to meet his wide-eyed stare. "You truly are a strange one," He murmured, almost to himself. "You fear pleasant things more than possible death?"

He laughed quietly at the dawning horror on the boy's face. "Don't be so timid, Boy. I think you'll find it a most.. Educational experience." He held the other firmly as he bent his head again, still faintly smiling as he felt the body beneath him shudder. Before he could complete his intended action, the redhead's eye narrowed in determination.

Jerking his head forward, Lavi felt a moment of satisfaction at the stunned expression on his captors face before he dropped his head back sharply against the hard stone, the concussive blow bringing stars into his field of vision even as he lifted his head for a second attempt.

Tyki gaped at him in shock, seizing his shoulders before he could accomplish his task. "Idiot, what are you doing?!" He forced the boy upright, fingers digging insistently into his hair in search of blood. "Stupid little fool!" He cursed, his urbane demeanor nonexistent as he felt a lump rising on the other's skull. "I should have known that you were no more intelligent than the rest of your ridiculous compatriots!"

He shook the dazed boy roughly. "Desist with your childish tricks, Boy. If you can't be trusted to keep yourself unharmed, I'll have no choice but to move you somewhere less likely to avail you of a means to self-mutilation!" His eyes were fully dilated with his anger, the iris' nearly swallowed by blackness until only a sliver of their bright gold remained visible.

Lavi laughed drunkenly, his vision still blurred with painful tears. "G' Fuck y'self.." He muttered, jerking back convulsively. Tyki tightened his grip, refusing to allow the other to move away.

"I think you've misunderstood the situation, Lovely." He hissed, his fingers still entwined in the boy's hair. Yanking him up, he met his unfocussed eye with an intensity that penetrated the Exorcist's trauma-induced stupor as surely as his knife had pierced the material of his clothing. "I have no intention of allowing you to distract me from my purpose."

Before the younger boy could form a reply, Tyki closed the distance between them without hesitation, his mouth closing firmly over the other's slightly parted lips. Lavi bolted upright, muffled sounds of protest issuing from his throat as he bucked desperately against the taller man's unrelenting hold. Galvanized into action by the feeling of the man's slick tongue on the edge of his lip, Lavi heaved himself back, his teeth snapping together in an attempt to bite the offending object.

Tyki growled warningly, his fingers closing tightly into the boy's hair. He kept his mouth steady, ignoring the stifled exclamations of dissent from his captive prey. He sucked on the other's lower lip, refusing to be deterred. Feeling the Exorcist's mouth open for a second bid at violence, he grasped his jaw tightly in his hand, his fingers digging into the space between the boy's joints to prevent his teeth from closing.

Smiling viciously against the other's lips, he delved fully into the wetness of his mouth, his tongue sliding eagerly into the farthest recesses of that moist cavern to stroke at the other's retreating organ as his struggles intensified. Catching the boy's choked sound of denial, he withdrew, releasing his hold on the younger boy's jaw with a smirk.

He licked his lips thoughtfully, his eyes once again flashing gold. "Delicious," He remarked, taking in the redhead's sickened expression. "You could do with a bit of instruction, Lovely. Perhaps I should teach you, in return for your services?"

Lavi shuddered, turning his head to spit in disgust. "I'll kill you," He snarled, twisting his hands roughly against his bonds. Feeling the friction burn on his wrists, he wrenched futilely at the undisturbed material. "Fucking sick son of a bitch! You can't keep me like this forever, and when I get loose, you're as dead as the rest of your twisted family."

Tyki smiled quietly, listening to the boy's rising tirade with remarkable good cheer. When the Exorcist began to repeat himself, he shook his head with a laugh. "You seem to be running out of insults, Lovely. Would you like to use your mouth for less repetitive activities, for variety's sake?"

Lavi froze, unable to speak in his fury. Tyki's smile grew almost feral as he looked down at the speechless redhead. "I think I prefer to have you silent, Lovely. Anger suits your complexion." He leaned down abruptly, meeting the boy's gaze from less than a foot away. "They say that anger sours the body, but you tasted quite sweet.. Perhaps you've had more time to grow bitter?"

The boy's eye widened as he drew back in alarm, stumbling over his feet in his haste to widen the distance between himself and the smiling man. Tyki let him go, advancing calmly as the Exorcist neared the far wall. "Even better, I won't have to hold you up this time."

Lavi backpedaled clumsily, groping behind him as best he could with his arms out of commission. Feeling stone against his fingertips, he pressed back against the wall, bracing himself to at least kick the older man as he drew steadily nearer. As if sensing his intent, Tyki waved a finger in warning. "I wouldn't do that, Lovely. You won't hurt me, but you'll put yourself at a serious disadvantage.."

The Exorcist scowled grimly, his muscles coiling in readiness as the former Noah sighed in resignation. "As you wish, then. Should I give you a moment to collect yourself, Sweetling?"

Lavi clenched his hands as tightly as he could, lashing out with a strangled yell at the insulting endearment. Tyki sidestepped his foot, catching his raised knee in one hand as the other slapped lightly on the stonework behind the boy. Pressing close, he used his superior weight and leverage to pin his target against the flat surface.

"I tried to warn you, didn't I?" He asked rhetorically, shaking his head. "I merely thought of testing the idiom, but this allows for a much more interesting diversion." His free hand slid between the other male's head and the wall, fingers digging into the boy's hair as he jerked the Exorcist's bandana up and off. "Much better. With that out of the way.." He shoved the folded cloth negligently into a pocket, his hand returning to its former position as the boy twisted away.

"Now, now, Lovely," He said, his voice chiding. "I still don't mean to hurt you, despite your tiresome attitude." He smirked at the Exorcist's defiant glare, noting his tightly closed mouth. "So you won't let me taste you, then? That's fine." Leaning heavily against the boy's slighter frame, he dropped his face into the side of his neck, biting down on the sweaty skin.

Lavi tried to duck away, arching against the wall to give himself room to move to the side. Tyki hummed quietly, sucking on the line of his pulse as he jerked the boy's leg up to his hip. "You're going to fall, Lovely." He warned, tightening his grip as the other continued to struggle. " You should be careful, because I don't feel as patient as I did before."

Feeling the boy shift slightly, he had only a moment's warning before the Exorcist kicked viciously with his remaining leg, intending to catch him off guard. He laughed, catching his knee as before. Lifting his head, he smiled brightly. "Are you so eager, Lovely? I was thinking that I should go slowly with you, but I'm hardly adverse to picking up the pace, if you wish it."

He pressed closer, rocking into the cradle of the boy's spread thighs with a murmur of appreciation. Lavi cursed aloud, squirming violently.

"Stop it! I don't want anything from you, you..!" Tyki cut him off mid-sentence, repeating his movements even as he claimed the boy's mouth. Reaching behind himself, he gripped the Exorcist's opposite ankle with his hand, his elbow hooked securely beneath the knee of the first leg, locking him in place. Humming in satisfaction, he used his now-free hand to keep the struggling redhead from biting him as he once again teased his mouth with his tongue.

Lavi howled indignantly at the intrusion, his outraged cry vibrating against the older man's lips. Tyki only shifted in reply, rocking against him more insistently as he sucked the tip of the Exorcist's tongue. Pulling back for air, he laughed at the boy's attempt to turn away. "I think the stories are wrong, Lovely." He said, lapping casually at the blood-streaked cheek before him. "You still taste like honey to me."

He lowered his head to the younger boy's throat again, interspacing his bites with quiet laughter. "Your body isn't so reluctant, is it? I can feel you.." He ground against the other firmly, chuckling at the Exorcist's choked cry. "Don't be afraid, Lovely. I promise to take very good care of you."

Lavi bucked harshly against the man's hold, shaking his head in denial. " _No!_ I won't let you! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!"

He felt the man's quiet laugh against his skin, the sensation spurring him on to desperation. "What the hell do you want from me?! Are you so Goddamned desperate for ass that you'd whore yourself?"

Tyki stilled instantly, jerking his head up to fix the red-faced boy with a fierce glare. "I'm not desperate for anything, Boy. And as for _whoring.._ " He smiled humorlessly, his eyes almost glowing with their intensity. "The only one who'll be whoring here is you, Lovely." He laughed at the redhead's panicked expression.

"Do you know what I'm going to do to you, Exorcist?" He said, resuming his slow movements. "I'm going to strip you completely naked, and after that.." He smiled, his face alight with mirth. "I'm going to fuck you until you scream. And you'll enjoy every second of it, I promise you that, Lovely. You might not want it, but you're going to beg for it all the same."

Lavi shook his head in horrified denial. He could find no words to express the sudden nausea at having his suspicions confirmed so bluntly, with the man's intentions laid squarely before him with a chillingly mad smile.

"You can't," He said, finding his voice. "You might..do that, but you can't make me like it." Tyki laughed outright, the sound grating on his captive's already shaking nerves.

"I can and I _will_. Would you like to tell me your name now, Lovely? I'd like to know what to call you, when I'm proving you wrong."

Lavi clamped his mouth shut, summoning up the most horrible glare he could muster as he stared directly at the amused man.

"You still won't tell me? All right, keep your secret, if it helps you pretend that this isn't real." The older man smiled, undaunted at the severity of the boy's expression. "At least you have mine, do you not? I look forward to hearing it from your lips when you come, Lovely."

He reached back, producing a mate to the knife he'd used before with a quiet laugh. "Hold very still, I'd hate to cut you in so delicate a place.." He held the shining blade up for the boy to see, turning it until he could clearly see it's curved tip. "This one is different, it's made to go in easily.." He slipped the flat edge carefully into the side of the redhead's already loosened waistband, glancing up at his quick noise of discontent. "And when it comes back out, all sorts of interesting things come with it." He jerked the blade cleanly through the seam of the other's clothing, watching the boy's face as he slipped the knife back into it's hidden sheath.

"I'm rather fond of that one, so I'll keep it handy." He murmured, taking a firm hold on the severed cloth. He yanked viciously, splitting the threads with a ragged tearing sound that made the boy shudder.

"That's one side," He whispered, holding the Exorcist's gaze. "Is there anything you'd like me to do, before I get the other?" Lavi swallowed thickly, forcing his voice to be steady.

"You could try _dying_ , asshole."

Tyki shook his head ruefully. "It wouldn't agree with me, Lovely. But I have a better idea, in place of that." He stroked the exposed skin of the boy's thigh, his hand rising to cup the Exorcist intimately. "So much for pride, hm?" He squeezed gently, his fingers moving patiently over the line of the other's zipper. "If you weren't so reluctant, I would show you something truly unbelievable.."

Lavi made an inarticulate sound of disgust, refusing to give the man the satisfaction of a response. Tyki raised an eyebrow at his silence, having expected a scathing commentary. "Nothing to say, Lovely? That's almost unnerving, after your earlier verbosity. Ah, well. No need to dwell on the past, right?" He removed his hand, lifting it to cup the boy's uninjured cheek. "Do you have a preferred position, or would you rather that I took that decision from you?"

Still the Exorcist refused to speak, averting his face defiantly.

Tyki smirked at him, drawing his knife once more. "I suppose I shouldn't make you wait, should I? If there's nothing left to say, then perhaps it's time to forego conversation in favor of action.." He repeated the procedure deftly, cleaving the material before tucking the blade securely away.

Lavi thought desperately, struggling for something, anything that would prevent the man from completing his self-appointed task. As he rejected one idea after another, he felt the other man's forceful yank at his clothing, the ripping sound adding a renewed sense of urgency to his rapidly growing panic.

"Don't!" He yelled, breaking his silence. "Don't do this, Tyki." He resumed his frantic struggles against the suddenly still man's tight hold. "Only a coward would do this! Are you a coward, Noah?!"

Tyki met his question impassively, dropping the ruined garment to the floor with a soft noise. "I fear nothing, Lovely. Are you afraid?" He smiled, nodding thoughtfully. "I believe you are. Could it be that you've never done this? How delightfully ironic, that you would look as you do and still have your virginity.."

He thrust against the boy sharply, his smile widening at the boy's unwilling gasp. "That's much better, without your clothing to keep me from feeling you.. Perhaps I _should_ take more time with you, in light of your inexperience." He stepped back, supporting the boy's neck with his hand as he sank to his knees. "I wouldn't want your first time to be over so quickly, since you've waited this long, Lovely."

Lavi bucked upward, taking advantage of the ground beneath him to intensify his movements. "No! I told you, don't touch me!" Tyki moaned quietly as the other's attempts at escape brought their bodies together enticingly.

"Be _very_ careful, Boy." He said, lifting himself on one arm. "You feel surprisingly good, and I've waited a long time to have you like this." Lavi stiffened in shock.

"What the fuck are you talking about?! Why would you be waiting for me, when I didn't even get a hit on you?" He shook his head rapidly. "Yuu was able to fight you. Hell, even Allen managed to kill you, as far as we knew! What the hell did I do to compare to that? Explain that shit to me, because I'm starting to think you're even stupider than I imagined!"

The man's eyes widened in mock thought. "Perhaps it was your expression, Lovely. You wanted me dead so badly that I couldn't forget you." He rocked their hips together, humming in contentment as the younger boy growled in frustrated anger. "In truth, I have no idea. Neither of your companions interested me, I'm afraid. The samurai was far too feminine for my tastes, and the Walker boy.. He was Rhode's pet. That left me with _you_ , didn't it."

Lavi glared at him in rising anger. "So you just said 'Oh well' and decided to take your fucking issues out on me by default?! Jesus, you really are a piece of work. It makes me feel almost guilty that I'm going to kill you."

Tyki nodded patiently, letting him finish. "Indeed. I wonder at my choices as well." He leaned closer, his body pressed as tightly as possible to the other male's as he dug eager fingers into his hair. "I had intended to break you, Lovely. Then I planned to leave you at your friends' doorway, naked and defiled beyond belief." He smirked, shaking his head. "Now, I think that perhaps I should just keep you. You're delightfully entertaining, for someone who's name I don't even know."

Lavi snarled up at him, jerking away as the man's face began to draw closer. "Stop doing that!" He growled, his teeth clenched as he bit off the words. "Keep your fucking mouth off of me, it makes me sick!" His voice rose to a hoarse shout as he kicked violently at the man's legs. "I'll chew off my goddamned arm before I let you think you're keeping me _anywhere!_ "

The older man's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I beg to differ. You're in no position to do anything. If I wanted to put my mouth on any part of you, the only thing that you could do is scream. Do I need to show you, Lovely? I did wonder if the rest of you was as delicious as that horrible mouth of yours."

He pulled back, reining in his temper as he slid down the boy's body with deliberate patience. "Don't be silent on my account, Boy. I've decided that you obviously need firmer handling than I originally planned." He glanced up, his eyes locking on his quarry's suddenly frightened face. "I'm still not going to hurt you, but I'll crush your pride if it kills us both."

He latched firmly onto the boy's thighs, forcing them apart as he settled between them. "If you think you can stop me, do it. Otherwise, give me your name, your real name." He dropped his eyes to the Exorcist's barely covered skin, taking in the sharp scent of fear that leaked from his pores. "I won't stop until you do one or the other, and I won't let you come until I choose to do so. Can you stop me yourself, Lovely?"

He ripped the boy's scant clothing away from his hips, ignoring the shrill protest from above. "That's a good start." He said, lowering his head inexorably. Dragging his tongue over the redhead's unaroused length, he smiled at the jolt that met his efforts. He repeated the motion steadily, his hands preventing the boy from moving as he worked intently at his task. Taking the tip into his mouth, he sucked firmly on the sensitive skin, relishing the other's ragged cries of denial. Tracing the contours with his tongue, he pulled almost completely away before taking the boy in as deeply as possible, his rhythm slow and torturous.

His ministrations met with no small amount of success, the Exorcist's back arching as he struggled to move away from the man's skillful mouth. "Stop.! STOP! I don't.. I don't want it!" He shook his head frantically, his eye clamped shut as he moaned in distress. "God, please stop! Dammit, _listen to me!_ Stop!"

Tyki glanced up briefly, raising an eyebrow at his cries. When the boy bit his lip defiantly, he hummed in amusement, resuming his motions with renewed enthusiasm.

Lavi tasted the slight flavor of blood as he strove to keep silent, his eye tearing in humiliation as his body betrayed him by straining upward. He could feel the effects of the older man's touch eating away at his control, and he sobbed dryly as the sensations increased steadily in their intensity. "Lavi," He choked, his voice breaking halfway through. "My name.. It's Lavi, please stop!"

Tyki sighed in satisfaction, giving the boy's aching flesh a final caress before releasing him. "Lavi," He said, musingly. "Is that why 'Lovely' troubled you, because it's similar in sound?" He smiled brightly up at the still-shaking Exorcist, sliding up to cover him with his weight. "Well, Lavi," He murmured, licking a stray tear from the other's flushed face, "I still think either one would suit you. You have a lovely voice, really." He pressed against the boy's arousal tauntingly, thoroughly enjoying the sudden pressure of knees against his sides.

" _Yes,_ " He hissed, rocking forward, "It's wonderful, isn't it? Do you want me to fuck you now, Lavi?" He laughed at the other's sharp negative. "I think you do, but I can wait for you to ask." He lowered his head, covering the boy's mouth possessively. Catching his lower lip, he sucked at the torn skin thoughtfully. "Gods, you certainly are delicious. I think I'm going to enjoy taking you very much, maybe more than I expected."

He shivered when the Exorcist bucked weakly against him, his eyes closing at the hardness beneath his own. "Oh, yes. Most definitely more than I expected. Don't bite me, Lovely, or I'll have to start all over again." He warned, sliding a hand under the boy's head as he kissed him. Moving patiently against the smaller male, he stroked his tongue over the roof of his mouth, urging the younger boy to return the gesture.

Lavi shook his head as much as the man's hold allowed, trying to avoid the slick muscle when it sought out his own. Tyki lowered his free hand to the boy's naked hip, lifting him slightly as he increased his efforts.

The small change drew a shuddering cry from the redhead's throat, his eye still shut tight as he tried to break the kiss for breath. "Please don't do this!" He gasped, casting off his bravado in desperation. "I don't want you, please find something else! Anything you want, just don't..!"

Tyki laughed sharply, nodding. "Of course, Lavi!" He waited for the boy's eye to focus on him before continuing. "Give me back my family." He whispered, smiling. "Give me back the world, too. And while you're at it, give me back the man I was!" He finished with a harsh growl. " _Give me back my life, you little bitch, and I'll give you back yours!_ "

Lavi stared up at him in horrified shock, his eye wide at the utter madness in the man's voice. "I..I can't.." He stammered, flinching as the other dropped his hips and slammed his hand into he ground beside his head. "I didn't..!"

Tyki smiled at him, his pupils contracted until only a sliver of black remained. "You didn't what, Lavi? You didn't think that we loved each other?" He leaned close, his eyes narrowing. "I'll bet that you lot had a good laugh at our expense, didn't you? We were better than you, do you know that?" He laughed at the boy's whine of fear. "We were better," He snarled, "Because we never hated you for doing what you thought was right. We hated you for taking our lives!"

He shook his head, breathing harshly. "We were all just people, Exorcist. Then your fucking Innocence came. _That_ woke up the Noah, not the Earl. The God you serve did this to us, for nothing!" He shoved himself to his knees, dragging the boy up by his shoulders. "The Earl found us, after it was too late to do anything but suffer."

He forced the younger male to meet his eyes, shaking him roughly when he tried to look away. "Look at me, Goddamn you! Are you still too fucking stupid to understand what I said? I'm not going to hurt you!" Lavi choked out a reply, his heart thumping painfully as he struggled to pull away.

"We didn't know! No one laughed at you! Allen _cried_ when he thought you were all gone, because he couldn't save you like he saved the akuma's souls!" He jerked away from the man's painfully tight hold, his arms protesting the movement.

"You had a choice to make, and you made it!" He winced as the bindings on his arms bit into his skin. "If you were human, you should have known that killing was wrong, but you did it anyway! At least the Order didn't kill other people because they were _normal!_ "

Tyki jerked back as if the boy had slapped him. "A _choice_ , boy? You're a fine one to talk about choices. I was there when you made yours, remember?" He laughed at the redhead's bewildered expression, shaking his head. "You were screaming about not taking a side, but you didn't let that stop you, did you? You were just stupid enough to think that there wouldn't be consequences."

"I think I will keep you, Lavi. Since you're so sure of your side's right to exist, maybe you should be the one to take responsibility for the result. Are you still convinced that you made the right decision now?" Tyki laughed at the boy's horrified face. "I'm glad I chose you, Lovely. I could argue morals with someone like you forever."

He smiled, pulling the other back against him. "But before all that, I'm going to show you what it feels like to have everything you believe in taken away by someone who doesn't give a fuck about you." His eyes returned to normal, the pupils expanding to their proper shape as he regained his hold on himself. "You seem to believe that a Noah is incapable of keeping their word, so I'll take that away from you first."

He slid his hand back into the boy's damp hair, holding his gaze. "I'm going to make you want me so much that you could die, Lavi. Do you understand? You're going to remember my touch for the rest of your life, because no one else is _ever_ going to make you feel as good as I'm about to." He closed his eyes, pressing their bodies together as he pulled the boy's face up for a kiss, his lips and tongue coaxing the other to open his mouth.

Lavi leaned back, refusing to allow him entry. "No," He said, shaking his head. "You'll have to force me, because I'm not going to let you do this unless you do."

Tyki smiled, following his retreat. "Yes you will, Lovely. I'll start with this, but the rest will get easier and easier, I promise you that." He ignored the boy's disbelieving expression, resuming his efforts. Nipping at the Exorcist's swollen lips, he traced their shape teasingly as his free hand moved down to stroke the other's arousal. "Let me in, Lavi." He mumbled, tugging the younger boy's head back. Licking up the front of his throat, he nearly purred in satisfaction when the redhead whined in protest. "I only want to taste you, what harm could that do?"

Lavi twisted away, hissing as the man's fingers tightened in his hair. "Plenty," He said, flexing his numb fingers. "I don't care what it feels like, Noah. In the end, you'll still be the same asshole you were when you started this."

Tyki laughed, nodding. "I'll be the person that your Order has made me. And that person is tired of trying to reason with you, Lavi. I can do _this_ ," He punctuated his words with a light squeeze of his hand. "Indefinitely. The question is, can you outlast me?" He pushed the boy backward, resuming his place between his spread legs. "Perhaps I should satisfy my craving somewhere else. Would you like more of that, Lavi?" He began to slide back, smirking as the Exorcist's legs clenched around his waist to halt his decent.

Lavi shook his head desperately, his eye wide. "No! Don't.." The older man raised an eyebrow curiously.

"No? Then I should think you'd be more willing to allow the lesser evil, Lovely." He leaned back in, lifting the boy's head slightly. "Let's try this again.." His pressed his lips firmly to the other's, smiling as he felt them part hesitantly. He deepened the kiss, curling his tongue questioningly against the younger boy's, humming in pleased surprise when he felt him respond. Resting on his elbows, he cupped the Exorcist's face in his hands as he ground against him, swallowing the quiet gasp his movements produced.

Lavi tried to control his breathing, fighting his body's urge to press back into the older man's weight with little effect. The steady rocking motion of the other's hips drew a sharp hiss from him, his legs shaking as they pressed against the man's sides. Tyki smiled against his mouth, one hand moving down to stroke the side of his thigh with teasing fingers.

He pulled back to breathe, taking in the boy's tightly closed eye and heated cheeks. "Good boy," He said, lowering his face into the curve of the other's throat and shoulder. Feeling the younger boy squirm uncomfortably, he lifted himself slightly, taking his weight on one arm to relieve the pressure on the Exorcist's trapped arms.

"It truly unfortunate that I have to keep you restrained, Lovely," He said, sucking on the boy's skin. "But I simply can't afford to set you free, now can I?" Lavi growled at his laughing tone, the sound rising into a cry as the man's hips snapped forward. His back arched away from the ground in an instinctive effort to feel more, even as he shook his head.

"If you didn't.. I'd kill.. _Ah!_ " He moaned in surprise when the man slid a hand beneath him, lifting his hips as he pulled him closer to his body.

"That's better. Don't waste your breath on empty threats, Lavi. I know perfectly well what you want to do, let's just leave it at that, shall we?" He tugged his shirt over his head, dropping it nearby. "I should get rid of yours as well, before it gets dirty." He eyed the boy's position thoughtfully, frowning. "This poses a problem, doesn't it, Lovely? I could always cut it off, but then you wouldn't have anything for later, would you? That won't do.."

He smiled suddenly, nodding. "I suppose I'll have to do it the other way, then. First, lets make things a little simpler.." He pushed the material up, tugging it over the boy's head before lifting him slightly. Working it down to the other's bound hands, he narrowed his eyes in concentration. Lavi frowned curiously, then gasped at a strange tingling sensation the settled briefly on his skin. Tyki leaned back quickly, his smile satisfied as he dangled the boy's shirt in front of him.

"As I said, I still have some small part of my power left, though it may continue to fade with time.." He dropped the garment beside his own, turning back to the shivering Exorcist. "There are other things.. Remember when I touched you before, Lovely?" He smirked at the shudder that crossed the other's skin. "Hm, I see that you do. I can do small things like that, with only a touch." He placed his palm on the smooth expanse of the redhead's abdomen, watching his face closely.

Lavi gasped as a bolt of heat emanated from the man's hand, his skin rising with goosebumps as his arousal spiked sharply. " _Don't..!_ " He panted, willing his suddenly urgent need to abate. "Don't do that anymore.." Tyki laughed, shaking his head.

"That remains to be seen, Lavi. If I can manage without it, so much the better. Now, before I forget.." He reached into his pocket, producing a small container. Setting it carefully aside, he smiled down at the boy's pale face. "I think I should move things along, since it must be uncomfortable for you to be left in your present state, hm?" He bent his head, lapping at the other's skin as his hands sought out the aching hardness between his legs. "Well, you _are_ eager, aren't you?"

Lavi bucked at the touch, an unwilling moan answering the older man's question. He clamped his mouth shut, his teeth scoring his lip as Tyki's mouth closed on the sensitive skin of his nipple. He squirmed in frustration, gasping when the former Noah sucked gently on the tightening bud. The sound brought a quiet noise of agreement from the other, one hand leaving it's place in search of the discarded bottle.

He worked the lid open, allowing some of the cool liquid to pool into his hand before setting the bottle down carefully, spreading the slick substance over his fingers. Turning his full attention to the matter at hand, he released the boy's skin with a final lick. "Relax, Lovely.. This won't be pleasant at all if you don't."

Lavi stiffened, his eye widening in apprehension. "What are.. Oh, God! Don't!" He struggled fiercely, ignoring the scrape of stone on his bare back as he fought to move away from the man's dampened fingers. " _No!_ "

Tyki hooked an arm around the boy's waist, holding him still as he slid his fingers over the hot skin of his entrance. " _Shh.._ I won't hurt you, Lavi, just relax.." He pressed inward experimentally, breaching the clenched muscles as the other's voice rose in a frantic plea.

"No! Please don't.. Tyki, stop! Stop!" He tried to pull back, shaking his head in denial. " _It hurts!_ Let me go!"

The older man tightened his grip, sliding his finger backward before pressing deeper, keeping his movements gentle despite the boy's choked cries of protest. "Relax.. If you don't, you'll hurt yourself, Lovely." He worked slowly, spreading the slippery liquid into the Exorcist's untried passage with careful strokes. Pulling back, he took advantage of the other's shock to pour more of the fluid into his hand, setting the container aside as he faced the younger boy directly.

"Don't be afraid, Lavi.. If I don't do this.." He slid his newly slickened finger back into the slightly loosened opening, sighing at the heat he found there. "It truly will be painful. I told you, nothing you say is going to change my mind, I'm not going to stop until you are mine."

He smiled pleasantly, his voice quiet. "You're still ready, even if you deny it. I can feel how hot you are, so unless you want me to do this the hard way, I suggest you relax." Lavi shook his head, gritting his teeth.

"I don't want you! Nothing you do will change that for me!" He yowled indignantly as the man worked in a second finger, struggling to pull back. "Goddamn you, stop! I'm not.. _God!_ "

He bucked harshly as the man's fingers curled, pressing insistently against something that brought a stifled cry of pleasure from his throat, his back arching painfully at the feeling. "Oh God! Stop! Please don't..!"

Tyki hissed at the sudden tightness around his fingers, smiling wickedly at the boy's shaky cries. "That's good, isn't it? I told you, there won't be anything better than what I'm going to do to you, Lavi. Whether you want to admit it or not, you love this." He moved his fingers again, relishing the other's high pitched moans. "You're already so close.. Don't you think I know? Even without doing anything else, I could make you come right now, if you wanted me to." He leaned close, his fingers pressing firmly against the boy's prostate as he claimed his open mouth.

He sucked teasingly on the younger boy's tongue, delighting in the other's urgent whine. He broke away, panting quietly against the redhead's mouth. "Do you want it, Lovely? Do you want me to make you come, just like this? All you need to do is ask.." He chuckled at the Exorcist's gasping negative, nipping at his swollen lip. "Not like this, then? Wonderful.." He withdrew his hand, smiling viciously at the boy's shuddering moan.

"We'll do it the other way, then." He pulled the Exorcist upright, turning him around as he pressed himself to the sweat dampened skin of his back. "Gods, Lavi.. You wouldn't believe how much I want you.. Are you still going to say that you don't want me?"

Lavi sagged bonelessly in his hold, gasping for breath. "I don't want it.. Please don't do this, Tyki.." He choked on a sob, his eye closed tightly against the sting of tears. "I don't want you, not like.. No! _Wait!_ " He jerked away from the sudden heat of the man's arousal against his skin, his back arched in a desperate move to keep him away. "Please don't!"

The older man laughed softly, holding the Exorcist's hips tightly as he coated himself with the remaining liquid from his hands. Pushing the boy's knees apart, he settled close against him, biting down on the nape of his neck. "But you need it, Lovely.. And so do I, even if it's only a game." He rocked forward, moaning quietly into the boy's hair. "And you were right, I did lie to you, before."

He slid a hand up the boy's body, placing his palm directly over his pounding heart. "I didn't really choose you because I had to." He pulled the Exorcist back, gasping at the tightness of his body as he thrust carefully into him. "I chose you because I wanted to."

Lavi shrieked hoarsely at the intrusion, his head snapping back at the feeling of the man's shallow penetration. "No!" He whimpered brokenly, shuddering. "Please don't do this! I don't want it!"

Tyki moved again, pulling the boy's hips back as he rocked upward. "So tight," He whispered, resting his head on the redheads heaving shoulder. "I can't believe how good you feel, Lavi.. I think I might have to be careful, because right now.." He pulled back, shifting his weight before pressing deeper into the other's body, seeking out the place he'd so recently discovered. "Right now, I could almost pretend that this actually means something."

Lavi gasped, shaking his head. "Don't! It doesn't mean.. _Aah_!" His eye widened as the man's erection brushed against his prostate, the slight pressure sending a coil of heat up his spine. "Don't.." He moaned, trying to pull away from the other's grip. Tyki gasped sharply into his neck, his arms locking around the boy's body like a vice.

"Don't do that, Lovely.. Moving like that makes me forget that you don't mean it." He breathed in deeply, striving for control. "Stay very still, for a moment.." Lavi shivered with nerves, the feeling of the older man's breath on his back making his legs shake. Tyki closed his eyes, rocking upward slowly.

"It feels good, doesn't it? I told you it would.." He moved experimentally, biting his lip at the younger boy's choked cry. "There, Lavi? Is that what you need?" He thrust harder, pulling the other's hips back to meet him. "Don't be shy, I want to know exactly what you're feeling.." His efforts produced a gasping whimper from the Exorcist's arched throat, his hands curling tightly as he panted.

"I hate it!" He cried, ignoring the man's amused laugh. "Stop acting like you fucking care, bastard!"

Tyki shook his head faintly, licking the boy's neck. "But I do care, Lovely. I'm going to get what I want, one way or another.." He moaned quietly, enjoying the boy's renewed struggles. "I'll do this for as long as it takes, so you may as well take your pleasure as you can." He quickened his pace, driving into the redhead's body insistently. "You should move too, Lavi.. Perhaps it won't take so long if you do."

Lavi cried out, his voice ragged as he strove to keep as still as possible. The man's steady assault on his body was maddening, every move bringing more and more urgency to his need. Even the slightest change of pace was enough to make him gasp at the difference, his legs shaking as he fought the urge to press back against the panting Noah's hips. When the man's hand dropped to his waist, he jerked back before the long fingers could touch his desperately aching skin. " _No!_ "

His sudden movement brought the man directly against his back, a surprised cry issuing from him as he sank completely into the boy's body. " _Lavi!_ Oh Gods, yes!" He held the Exorcist firmly to his chest, feeling the smaller boy arch backward with a startled moan. "You liked it too, didn't you? You're shaking so hard.." He sought out the Exorcist's hands, wrapping his fingers around the twisted ropes that held him. "Do you want them off, Lovely?" He asked, punctuating his words with a light tug. "If you keep doing that, I might be stupid enough to let you go.."

Lavi nodded rapidly, pulling against the rough bindings. "Yes! Please take them off, they hurt.." He pressed back, gasping at the sharp pleasure he felt at the motion. "Please..! I won't.. _Tyki_!" The older man laughed breathlessly, moving steadily.

"You won't _what_ , Lovely? Try to fight? Of course you will, you don't want me. Perhaps I shouldn't have offered, it _is_ foolish.." He sucked on the boy's throat, dropping his hand to stroke the hot skin of his arousal. "Why else would you agree, if not to resist?"

Lavi shook his head, his eye closed tightly. "Please," He choked, "I can't.." His words caught in his throat as the man's grip tightened, his eye tearing in horrified embarrassment at the sound of his own voice.

Tyki smiled against his neck, his rhythm unfaltering. "Say it, Lavi. Why wouldn't you fight me? Don't you want me to stop?" He halted his movements, keeping a tight hold on the boy's hips to keep him still. "Is that better, Lovely?"

The Exorcist moaned plaintively, shaking against the man's body. "Damn you!" He rasped, ignoring the waver in his tone. "You _know!_ I don't need to tell you anything!"

The older man shifted slightly, his smile evident in his voice. "I know nothing but what you've told me, Lavi. You've been begging me to stop all along, haven't you?" He rocked tauntingly against the other boy's trembling body, his words dropping to a quiet murmur. "Have you changed your mind, Lavi? Tell me what you really want and we'll go from there."

Lavi whimpered sharply at his movements, struggling to push backward. "Don't make me say it," He whispered, shaking his head. "Please!" Tyki shook his head, nibbling the boy's earlobe.

"Tell me, Lovely. If you don't, I'll have to stop for now, and begin again when you've had time to think." The Exorcist's pulse jumped at the feeling of the man's teeth, his eye widening as his quiet words registered.

"Oh, God.. Please don't leave it like this! I..I need..!" He shook his head, biting his lip deeply to stop himself.

Tyki sighed, moving as if to pull away. "As I said, you obviously need time to think, Lavi.." The boy's shaking increased, his head whipping back and forth desperately.

"No! Tyki, please, I..!" He sobbed quietly, still shaking his head. " _I want it._." He whispered, closing his eye in shame. "I want to..to.." Tyki hummed in satisfaction, nodding.

"That's better. Does it feel good, Lovely? You should tell me if it does." He resumed his movements slowly, pulling the boy's hips back with a moan. "Is there something you want from me, Lavi? I'm feeling rather generous, at the moment."

Lavi arched into him, nodding jerkily. " _Yes!_ I want..Tyki, please don't stop!" He pushed back urgently, his knees shaking with his need. "Please, just let me..!"

The older man laughed, quickening his thrusts. "Is that all, Lovely? That was my intention, didn't I tell you? If that's what you want, then I'm happy to oblige." He tightened his hold on the Exorcist's straining length, stroking him in time with his movements. "Gods, you _are_ sweet.. Are you going to scream for me, when I make you come?"

Lavi gasped, nodding rapidly. " _Yes!_ Tyki, please.. I'm.. _Tyki!_ " He moaned breathlessly, unable to speak through his rising cries.

Tyki growled softly at his pleas, his own need growing acute as he drove into the boy's shuddering body. " _Now_ , Lavi? It feels like you're ready.. Are you?"

The boy's movements grew unsteady, his muscles drawn tight as he whined a wordless affirmative. The older man closed his eyes, hissing at the sound. "Good," He said, his thrusts turning forceful. "Because I want it, too."

Lavi moaned in reply, bucking frantically into the man's touch. Feeling his stomach clench in almost unbearable pleasure, he stiffened, arching back against the man with a ragged scream that left his throat raw with it's volume. Tyki groaned at the sudden pressure around him, sinking himself into the boy as deeply as he could as he filled him with his essence, a feral gleam turning his eyes completely golden for a moment as he panted against the Exorcist's shaking back.

"Oh, yes," He murmured, releasing his tight grasp on the boy's member. "I definitely think I'll keep you, Lovely. Would you like that?" Lavi slumped in exhaustion, his eye closed in humiliated disbelief at the obvious response.

".. _Yes_.."

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Ah well. Maybe not the _ideal_ ending, but then again, I suppose that would be too much to ask for. If anyone wants more of this horror, feel free to let me know. I'm sure I could think of _something_ worse to give you. Thanks for reading, and please review, as this is the first fic of this type that I've attempted.


	2. Waking Dream

NG2 - Waking Dream  
Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 2 - Waking Dream

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And in addition to that:  
Dear Fangirls: I would just like to say, fuck everyone who faves or alert adds without leaving a review, no matter how brief. Srsly, Fuk u with a pigpen fencepost. Now on with the fic.  
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The second time Lavi woke, it was almost as if he'd spent the previous day asleep, caught in some strange and horrifying fever dream. Looking around the room, he noticed two very different things about this awakening. Firstly, he was clean, an unfamiliar white shirt covering him almost to the knees. Secondly, he was _free_.

Flexing his hands, he felt only the slightest twinge to remind him that the previous day's events had been real. He felt the soft give of a bed beneath him, the thick blankets covering the mattress leaving a cool sensation against his slightly stiff limbs.

Sitting up cautiously, he took in the darkened ambience of his surroundings. Dark colored hangings covered the walls, sweeping down to rest against the deep green carpet of the floor. The overall theme seemed to be black with hints of the same dark emerald in the form of linens and bed-drapes, which were pulled aside and tied with dull silver cord.

Shaking his head, he rose. Upon standing, he noticed that the room had no windows, it's only source of illumination seemed to be a black wrought iron fixture set high into the arched ceiling. He saw a narrow doorway to the side, obviously a bathing chamber, it's entrance covered by more of the night-dark cloth in lieu of a traditional door.

Deciding that there was no need to investigate further, he turned slowly around, alert for any sound that might come through the stone walls. He saw a second door, this one a true exit, it's solid-looking wood carved with curling lines and shapes. Feeling the first stirrings of unease, he strode forward, bringing his closed fist against the wood with a muffled bang.

There was no response from without, and he grabbed the knob in frustration. Wiggling it in annoyance, he blinked in surprise as the latch clicked beneath his fingers. Waiting again for some signal that his actions had been noticed, he cautiously pulled on the silver handle, wincing at the slight creak that accompanied the opening of the portal.

A quick look beyond the open door revealed a straight hallway, it's walls bare but clean. He stepped out, mindful of his half-dressed state as he made his way into the darker passage. His eye widened as he saw only a single doorway at the far end, it's door almost identical to the one he'd just opened.

Walking quietly toward it, he cast a furtive glance behind himself, frowning at the dead end beyond his own doorway. Standing still at the corridor's end, he carefully tugged the handle of the door, noticing that this one made no sound to alert any possible occupants within to his presence.

Opening the door only far enough to look quickly inside, he froze at the sight that met his widening eye.

Tyki Mikk lay in repose atop a large bed, his face turned toward the younger boy as he slept on, oblivious to his uninvited guest's nearness. He wore only a pair of loose-fitting black pants, their cut seemingly of either Indian or perhaps Asian design, the boy's mind supplied helpfully. Looking to the side, Lavi saw a table set with an aged silver tea service, the single cup still holding what appeared to be pale liquid.

Beside the scrolled edge of the tray sat several objects that the Exorcist recognized instantly. Among numerous other equally lethal-appearing blades were the two knives that the man had used on his clothing, their silver handles almost glowing in the room's dim lights.

Lavi started forward quickly, taking a tight hold on the nearest one, an almost weightless poniard-style blade. He turned toward the sleeping man, his eye narrowed with silent animosity as he stepped carefully in the direction of his blissfully unaware captor. Reaching the other's bedside, Lavi noticed that his rest was most likely not a pleasant one, his smooth brow knit with some unhappy vision.

Holding his breath, he took in the former Noah's relaxed body, his long limbs sprawled artlessly on top of the plush blue coverlet. His hair fell forward over the marks of his heritage, hiding them from the shaking boy's eye as he willed himself to tighten his hold on the knife in his hand.

He leaned as close as he dared, the older man's breaths forming words that made almost no sound in the room's utter silence. _"..Needed you.."_ His eyes moved erratically behind his tightly closed lids, his eyebrows lowering as he spoke to someone only he could see. _"..Just lost..here.. that should help.. make me finally die."_

Lavi jerked back, sucking in a startled breath. Tyki Mikk _wanted_ to die? Who did he think would kill him? Could he even be killed, or was he still nearly immortal? Backing away, Lavi jumped in surprise as his back slammed into the edge of the night table, his eye fixed on the man in the bed.

Holding his breath, he watched the former Noah turn onto his back, one hand rubbing tiredly at his face. Opening his eyes, he looked directly at the frozen Exorcist, his lips curving into a slight smile. "What is it, Lovely?" He took in the boy's wary posture, his eyes narrowing at the knife in his hand. "Ah, I see." He said, rising to his elbows.

"That's a good one, but you need to be sure that it goes between the ribs clean, or you'll only nick the blade." He gestured to his chest, resting his fingers slightly beyond the edge of his ribcage. "The best place would be _here_ , and then upward to the left. Even if you miss the heart itself, the bleeding would be sufficient to kill within minutes."

He leaned back against the pillow, his hands dropping to his sides. "Go on, then. I won't stop you, that would require injuring you." Lavi stared at him, his eye wide.

"What the _Hell_ is wrong with you?" He said, shaking his head. Flinging the knife away from himself, he clenched his hands. "Do you really want to die, Noah?" He advanced on the calmly watching man, stopping only inches from the bed. "If you wanted someone to walk in here and off you, why didn't you just leave me alone? You could have left me my Innocence and I would have been more than happy to flatten your ass!"

Tyki snorted quietly, raising an eyebrow at the boy's angry retort. " _Really_ , Lovely. You couldn't even manage it with me asleep, with a knife in your hand. Murder simply isn't in you." He sat up, his hand snapping forward to take hold of the redhead's shirt. Dragging him down, he met his gaze squarely. "Would self-defense help you overcome your moral compunctions, Lavi?"

He stretched out his free hand, the gesture somehow bringing the discarded blade from it's place on the floor. He smiled chillingly, extending the hilt toward the boy's still-clenched hand. "Here, I'll see if there's something to your ire." When he refused to accept the preferred weapon, the older man pried open his fingers, tucking the shining metal into his palm and closing his fingers around it. "Tightly, Lovely. If you don't hold on, it slides right through your fingers."

Lavi jerked back, resisting the man's hold. "You've lost your Goddamned mind! _Let go!_ "

Tyki shook his head patiently. "I'm perfectly well. Now, it goes here, remember." He tugged the boy's hand forward, placing the knife's needle-like tip against his skin with enough force to leave a mark. "Then upward and to the left. Don't forget it, I won't repeat myself again."

He released the other's hand, his expression serious. "And as for the need.." He took hold of the Exorcist's waist, ignoring the weapon as he jerked him onto the bed. "I believe the threat of having me take you again should be enough. If you wish to keep yourself untouched, you now have the means to prevent me."

Lavi pulled back, once again allowing the knife to fall from his hands as they rose to press against the man's shoulders. " _Don't_!"

Tyki shook his head again, retrieving the blade from the dark blue comforter. "You should already know that words have no meaning here. If you want to save yourself, then do so by force, Lovely. Otherwise.." He let the obvious conclusion remain unspoken, returning the knife to the boy's unwilling grip. Smirking silently at the Exorcist's horrified expression, he took a firm hold on his nape, drawing him down even as he lifted himself closer. "You seem to need proof of my intent, Lavi. Perhaps it's best if I explain it to you clearly.."

He leaned in, catching the other's disbelieving protest with his lips. Tightening his grip, he held the struggling redhead still as he lowered his free hand to the side of his waist, pulling the boy roughly up to straddle him. He nipped at the younger boy's lip, using his sharp gasp to gain access to his mouth, his tongue seeking out the other's with deliberate movements.

Lavi growled in furious denial, shoving the man back. "I _said_ no, damn it! I'm not..!" Tyki jerked him back down, pressing their lips together insistently. Ignoring the boy's muffled shout, he sucked on the still-swollen skin of his lip, the hand on his waist moving to his back as he rocked upward against the boy's body. Lavi threw the man's knife to the ground, pushing hard on his upper chest as he struggled.

Tyki merely smiled against his mouth, shifting his attention to the Exorcist's throat as his movements continued. "I told you, Lovely.. If you don't stop me, I'm going to fuck you." He bit down on the boy's shoulder briefly, his hands firm. "It's going to be _exactly_ the same, Lavi. You might not want it, but you'll still be begging for more.."

He licked at the bitemark he'd made, pulling back to smile at the increasingly frantic Exorcist. "I'll be able to watch you this time. I couldn't do anything but listen before, but it sounded as though you enjoyed yourself nevertheless." His smile widened as the boy's face turned an interesting shade of red, then paled to a faintly grayish color at his words. "You _did_ say that you'd like it if I kept you, Lovely. What did you think I'd be keeping you _for_? Certainly not just conversation, though I'm sure we'll come to that eventually.."

Lavi pushed harder, shaking his head. "I didn't..I didn't mean to!" He spluttered, leaning back to avoid the man's approaching mouth. "Stop doing that! I'm telling you that I'm _not_ going to just sit here and.. _No!_ " The last was shouted indignantly as he felt the man's fingers sliding beneath the hem of his shirt, his short nails sending a shiver up the smaller boy's spine. "Damnit, Tyki! Let go of me, I'm not going to stab a lunatic!" The older man froze, his oddly-colored eyes narrowing.

"A _lunatic_? I think there's been another misunderstanding, Lavi." He pulled the boy's startled face down, meeting his eye directly. "I'm not sure exactly what you would define as a _'lunatic'_ , but I can assure you that I have enough presence of mind to know what I'm about to do to you."

Lavi stared at him in confused horror as his eyes changed from round to slit-pupiled, honey-brown turning to bright gold and back again as the man visibly collected himself. "What you know doesn't matter! I can tell by _looking_ at you that something isn't right with your mind!" He jerked back, averting his face. "I don't know what happened to you, but whatever it was has obviously made you even more of an ass, Noah."

Tyki moved his hand away from the boy's neck, catching his chin and forcing him to turn back. " _Stop calling me that_ ," He hissed, his eyes completely yellow. "You play a dangerous game, Lovely. If you believe that your insults will lead me to harm you, you are in for a rather unpleasant surprise." He pulled the Exorcist's face closer, his grip nearing painful as he leveled a serious look at the other male. "If your childish ways anger me, I won't hurt you." He smiled, the expression not reaching his still-catlike eyes. "I'll simply work that much harder at making you say the things I wish you to say."

Lavi shuddered at the man's utter sincerity, his hands shaking against the firmness of his chest as he pushed himself back. "No." He said, trying to pull his face away from the other's hold. "You won't. What you _will_ do is try to make _me_ angry enough to hurt you." He shook his head slowly, closing his eye. "You should have tried this bullshit with Allen, or Yuu. Either one of them would have been happy for the chance to kill you."

He moved a hand from it's place on the older man's chest, reaching back to take hold of his wrist. "You were right, when you said I'd taken a side." He pulled the other's hand away from his skin, moving it to rest at the man's side. "Unfortunately for you, it was the side that doesn't kill crazy people for doing crazy things. If anything, I think I pity you."

Tyki laughed, nodding. "I'm sure that you think so, now." He lifted his hand again, digging his fingers into the boy's hair. "But I think you'll need to save that pity for yourself, Lovely. I meant exactly what I said. If you don't stop me, I'm going to spend the rest of this night making you scream for me." He pushed hard against the boy's head, forcing him down until their mouths met firmly. He felt the Exorcist's lips part in readiness to protest, whether by word or bite he didn't know.

Ignoring the possibility of violence, he held the smaller boy tightly, his tongue chasing the other's with determined patience until the need for air drove him to pull back briefly. "As you pity me for my supposed madness, I find myself pitying your own failings, Lavi." He smiled sadly, his hand still holding the redhead in place as he sighed. "I seriously doubt that this ' _side_ ' of yours will do anything to keep me from doing as I please.."

He leaned in, catching the boy's mouth once more, still urging him to respond with teasing nips and licks. Lavi jerked away in frustrated anger, his hands balled into tight fists as he pushed furiously at the man's shoulders. "You can give _that_ shit up already. I'm not going to let you keep doing it, crazy or not."

Tyki smiled at him in amusement, his eyes as close to normal as Lavi supposed they ever were. "You shouldn't be letting me do it at all, Lovely. If I recall, you're neither paralyzed nor bound, you certainly have the means to stop me without resorting to ' _stabbing a lunatic_ ', as you so elegantly put it." He took hold of the boy's thigh, his thumb making small circles on the skin as he worked his way upward. "I seem to remember you being more willing, at least as far as your mouth.." He smirked at the boy's frown. "Should I try sucking on your tongue, Lavi? You made a rather interesting sound when I did that before.."

He laughed softly, taking in the other's mortified expression. "Ah, don't be so ashamed, Lovely! After all, it isn't as if you _chose_ to enjoy the things I did, except for asking me to make you come." His hands moved steadily higher, his gradual progress seemingly unnoticed by the glaring Exorcist. "You should do something about that hand, Lavi.. It makes me think that you want me to touch you."

The boy glanced down, finally aware of the man's roaming appendage. Jumping in surprise, he quickly seized his wrist, halting his movements. "Whatever, Noah. I'm getting up now, so you may as well go back to..!" Tyki snatched his hand back, once again taking hold of the redhead's shirt.

"I told you once, _stop - calling - me - that._ Setting aside your forgetfulness, I think I should dispense with the formalities and get straight to the point. Unless you've suddenly decided that you want this, it would be wise to make use of whatever means you have to prove your unwillingness, Lovely." Without another word, he pulled the Exorcist firmly against him, his arms wrapping tightly around the squirming boy's hips as he latched onto his throat. Holding the smaller male's body close, he resumed his slow rocking, his teeth and lips leaving a trail of bright red marks in their wake.

Lavi shoved at him roughly, his struggles intensifying as the man's mouth shifted to follow the collar of his shirt. Unable to break the other's grip on his waist, he arched back sharply, moving away from the older man's assault on his neck. His eyed widened at the feeling of the man's obvious arousal against his rear, a strangled yell of denial passing his clenched teeth as he fought to rise to his knees. "Let go! I don't want you, dammit!"

Tyki ignored his tirade, his teeth catching the shirt's top edge. Jerking his head, he popped the first few buttons through their holes, nudging aside the cloth to lap at the Exorcist's chest. Lavi tried to lean back even further, but again the sensation of the man's erection against him forced an unwilling jump forward. The older man hummed approvingly, speaking against the boy's skin. "I remember you moving like that before, Lovely.. Though it felt much better when I was inside of you. Should I hurry things along, since you can't seem to stop doing things that make me want you?"

He kept one arm tight about the boy's waist, the other sliding up the back of his half-undone shirt to press between his shoulderblades. Holding him steady, he tugged at the material again, all but the last two buttons leaving their holes. He smiled at the Exorcist's outraged yells, pushing the shirt open to catch sight of one dark nipple. Leaning in, he drew his tongue over the soft skin, sucking lightly as the younger boy's voice broke off with a gasp.

His lips worked against the hardening nub eagerly, a satisfied hum sending a shock of tingling pleasure up the redhead's arched back. He pulled away, glancing quickly up at the other's wide eye. Taking note of his captive's unwilling shiver, he brought his mouth to the other side, repeating his teasing licks even as his lowered his hand to press the boy's hips forward. Lavi stiffened, his legs shaking as he felt the older man's hardness against him.

"No. I'm not.. I don't..!" He shook his head rapidly, trying to push away from the man's body. "Tyki, stop! I can't let you do this, don't you understand that? I won't let you use me to kill yourself!" He took hold of the older man's shoulders, forcing his head away with a rough shake. "I'm sorry for whatever happened to you, but you were the ones that decided to start the killing! Nothing you do is going to change the fact that those people are gone, Tyki." He stared at the man's surprised face, unsure of what reaction his words might provoke. "Just.. Stop this. Come to the Order with me, maybe there's something they can do to fix.. whatever's wrong with you." He flushed, swallowing heavily. "I won't tell anyone about.." He looked away, closing his eye. "They won't know what you did. You're as human as we are, aren't you? They'll help you if they can, so please.."

Tyki stared at him in open disbelief, his eyes narrowing more with every word he spoke. When he finished, the older man snorted rudely. "Gods, you lot are something else. Did you learn such idiocy at that old man's knee, Lavi?" He shook his head, his expression faintly disgusted. "I think I liked you better when you were angry, Lovely. Do you really think that I would _plead_ with your twice-damned Order for mercy? I had thought you were smarter than that." He leaned close, studying the boy's pale face. "The only thing your Order could do for me is _vanish._ I have no need of healing, and I believe that the best medicine for what ails me is to do what I brought you here to do."

He yanked the boy down, halting any reply he may have made with his mouth. He used his hold to roll the other onto his back, his hand leaving it's place to catch the Exorcist's wrists tightly. Ignoring his stifled cry, he settled as close as he could manage, his mouth leaving the other's in favor of his nearly-bare chest. He felt the boy's panicked movements, his hips pressing against the former Noah's as he attempted to kick. Tyki moaned sharply, rocking forward into the contact. "I can't believe how good you feel, Lovely. Even like this, you make me want you so much that it _hurts_."

Lavi stilled instantly, shaking his head. "Stop! I don't want to do this, you don't.. _God!_ " He jerked at his pinned wrists, his feet sliding uselessly against the blanket as he tried to push himself up. "Let go! Why did you untie me if you were just going to hold me down? Get off!" The older man lifted his head, raising an eyebrow at his question.

"What would be the point of keeping you bound, Lovely? You may have noticed that there's no way out. Could you have slept if you were tied? I thought you might need some amount of comfort, and as for holding you down.." He shook his head, amused. "Would you feel better if you weren't being completely forced? I should think it would be less shameful to you if I did this without giving you a choice."

He laughed at the boy's expression, abruptly releasing his trapped hands. "As you will, then. I doubt it will help you, but please, feel free to do as you like, Lavi. Would you like me to get you anything? I told you to hold on tightly, but you just can't seem to manage it." He slid one hand beneath the Exorcist's neck, the other dropping to his waist. "I may be nearly human, but I'm still far stronger than you.. You'll need to do something rather drastic to get away from me, Lovely." He leaned down, tipping the boy's face upward to meet him.

"Don't look at me like that, you already know that this won't hurt.." He murmured, pressing their mouths together. Feeling the other tense sharply, he kept his hands firm, his lips gentle but insistent. "You still need instruction," He said, his breath moist on the redhead's face. "I thought you'd learned something before, but I suppose your memory is not so good after all." He repeated his kiss, urging the boy's mouth to open. Lavi closed his eye, breathing through his nose shakily.

Ignoring the voice that screamed at him to at least bite the man, he let his jaw relax, allowing the other to deepen the contact with a quiet sigh. The feeling of his captor's teeth on his skin sent a chill through his body, his quick gasp giving the older man the opening he sought. He could faintly taste the tea he'd seen in the cup, the flavor strangely sweet in his mouth as the man's tongue stroked over his own. Thinking hard, he decided that there was something he could do, even though the logic rang false to his normally quick mind.

The older man seemed to take great enjoyment in forcing a response from his prey, his struggles and protests serving only to encourage his attempts. It occurred to the Exorcist that perhaps a lack of either action may deter the man, if he truly sought to take the other by force.

Firming his resolve, Lavi ceased his resistance completely, his hands winding into the man's thick hair as he returned his kiss. Feeling the other's surprised jerk, he raised his knees, lifting his hips to press against the older man's body with deliberate slowness. Tyki's movements faltered momentarily, his finger's tightening on the boy's neck and hip.

Lavi allowed himself a heartbeat's worth of satisfaction at his hesitation, his lips curving slightly as the man pulled back to meet his falsely innocent gaze. The smile froze in place at the first glimpse of the taller man's wide eyes, the expression on his face sending a crushing feeling of guilt through the Exorcist's chest when the man abruptly looked away. "Tyki..?" He said, turning his head to look up at the other in rising trepidation. "What.."

The older man stared back at him silently, shaking his head. He blinked, his eyes no longer the same eerie yellow when they reopened. He seemed to be thinking, his brow slightly furrowed as he continued to pin the boy with his eyes. After several long seconds of silence, he sighed, his hands moving from their places until he was holding the Exorcist's face in his palms. "Well played, Lovely." He said, lowering his head to kiss the startled boy.

Lavi gasped, expecting a harsh rebuke of some sort. The man's lips were disturbingly gentle, his tongue's strokes almost pleading for a response as he resumed his slow movements against the boy's body.

Shaking with expectant adrenaline, Lavi returned his unnervingly desperate kiss, his fingers still buried in the oddly soft hair at the back of the other's head. He felt the older man's left hand leave his face, inwardly bracing himself for whatever unpleasantness was sure to follow. He flinched in surprise when the man stroked his hip, his fingers sliding down to pull the boy's body closer with a soft moan. His breath caught as the former Noah rose to his elbow, his eye opening dazedly to take in the man's almost pained expression.

"You should have fought, Lavi." He said, his voice low. "I think the knife would be less painful, but the result is the same." His lips curled into a mocking smile as he shook his head. "I suppose it's just as well, however. Did you think I would lose interest in a willing partner?" He laughed, the sound matching the smirk he directed at himself.

"Your logic is flawed, Lovely. I used whatever means I could to obtain your consent, but in the end it was only a matter of time before you gave me what I wanted." He leaned back down, his lips brushing against the other's as he spoke. "The only thing you've accomplished is to deepen my desire to make you mine." He swallowed the Exorcist's questioning noise, his touches still frighteningly gentle as he pressed closer to the boy's shivering body. "If this is how you want it to be, then who am I to deny you?"

Lavi choked back an unwilling moan at the feeling of the man's hands on his skin, averting his face. "I don't want it at all," He said, biting his lip. "Even if you act differently, I know what you're really doing. It doesn't mean anything, not to either of us." He turned back, meeting the older man's stare. "You should have tried lying from the start, Tyki. Maybe then I would have believed you, and you could have used my stupidity to hurt me a lot more than you could have by using force." The man raised an eyebrow, his lips still faintly smiling.

"What if I did lie? Perhaps this is what I wanted all along, Lovely. I could have wanted you for myself, and only told you that it was to avenge my siblings in case you rejected me." Lavi frowned at him, his eye narrowed.

"Don't even try it. You don't even know what it's like to want someone like that. If you did, you wouldn't have been killing people all this time." The man laughed quietly, shaking his head.

"I suppose it can't be helped. Perhaps after this, I'll give you a history lesson." Lavi blinked at him in confusion, raising an eyebrow. Seeing his expression, the former Noah laughed again. "I wasn't always a servant of the Earl, Lovely. All of us were just people, once."

He leaned down suddenly, facing the boy from only inches away. "No matter what you may believe, I too was once a man like any other. As for knowing what it is to want someone.." He paused, smiling at the Exorcist's swiftly indrawn breath. "I'll let you decide for yourself whether I want you or not, Lavi."

Before the younger boy could reply, Tyki crossed the small distance between them, his lips covering the other's quiet hum of surprise. He felt the redhead's fingers tighten against his neck, his hold on the man seemingly forgotten during their short discussion. He kept his own motions unhurried, noticing that the boy had yet to loosen the slight grip that his still-bent knees had on the man's sides.

Shifting his weight slowly, he used the other's momentary distraction to pull the edges of his shirt away, freeing the tenuous hold of the remaining buttons. His hand slid easily beneath the curve of the boy's hip, lifting him closer as he murmured softly against his lips. "You should be fighting, Lovely.. Or do you still believe that I don't want you?"

Lavi jerked back, his eye widening. "No! I believe you, so you don't have to..!" Tyki sighed, lowering his face into the Exorcist's neck.

"Of course I don't _have to_ , Lavi. I don't _have_ to do anything. After your short attempt at cleverness, I rather think I'd like to try convincing you to do it again. Perhaps I _will_ lose interest if you're willing." The smile in his tone matched the one on his face, his breath tickling the boy's skin. "Though I doubt that would be the case. As surprising as it may seem, I find myself wanting to have you like that in earnest. I wonder why it was better, even if it was only a lie."

He sucked on the junction of his throat and jaw, catching the faint gasp that his efforts produced. "You seem unnerved by that, Lovely. Are you frightened by gentle handling? I can be more demanding, if your conscience troubles you.." Lavi flinched, remembering the harsh sensations from before.

"Don't! It's still the..same.." He faltered, shaking his head to clear his mind. "I don't care how good of a liar you are! Being like _this_ is no different than before, I still don't want you!"

Tyki laughed at his shaken voice, rocking against him more firmly. "Really? Your body says otherwise, do you think I can't feel you?" He lifted the boy's hips still higher, his hand moving to the small of his back. "Is that why you're frightened, because you like the way it feels? How strange that I haven't really done anything to force you, yet you're already so hot.." He stilled his movements, thoroughly enjoying the other's silent shivers.

"Should I find something to tie you down, Lavi? I'm sure I have something that will do.." He turned, catching sight of the bound curtains. "Would that satisfy your conscience?" He nodded in the direction of the short cord. "I could get it, if you'd be so kind as to let go of my hair." The younger boy gasped, shaking his hands free.

"I wasn't...I didn't mean to do that!" He averted his face, scowling fiercely at the older man's quiet laugh. "Stop playing with me! You know that I don't want you, no matter _how_ it feels! I only did that because I thought it would make you stop!"

Tyki moved to face him, his eyes narrowed. "You thought that I wanted to _make_ you respond, Lovely? You should have known better than to tease me with your willingness, no matter how false. The only thing I want is to have you, willing or no." He shifted his hips, reminding the boy of his truthfulness. "If it's all the same to you, I need only be concerned for myself. Having you like this pleases me, so you should be glad of _my_ willingness to be gentle!"

He gripped the Exorcist's chin, pulling his head back to face him. "Do you want me to force you? As good as this is, I enjoyed the way you resisted me as well. I _will_ have you, Lovely. The only choice I give you is _how_."

Lavi drew back, his face panicked at the man's tightening grip. His teeth pressed harshly against the inside of his cheek, threatening to break the skin as he shook his head faintly. "You're hurting me," He whispered, his voice strained. "Please let go."

The older man blinked, releasing his hold as if burned. Taking a breath, he closed his eyes briefly. "Make your choice, Lavi. I've already made mine." He lowered his head, avoiding the redhead's gaze as he took hold of his naked hips. "The night wears on, and I have no more patience for games."

He bit down on the skin of the boy's shoulder, jerking his body up to press against him. Hearing the Exorcist's sharp whine, he resumed his steady rocking, his already loose pants sliding low on his hips. He freed one hand, shoving them down roughly over his legs, kicking them off the edge of the bed in annoyance. Ignoring the boy's choked protest, he stretched his hand in the direction of his night table, his eyes narrowing in concentration. There was an oddly hollow sound, and a small bottle appeared in his palm, the glass warm to the touch for no discernable reason.

Keeping a firm hold on the other's hip, he worked the container open, tilting it to pour the liquid into his cupped palm. He reclosed the stopper, sighing when Lavi dug his feet into the blankets, struggling to push himself away from the man's slickened hand. "Stop! I don't want it! I told you that it _hurts!_ Dammit, _everything_ you say is a lie!"

Tyki shook his head, his fingers still sliding over the shaking boy's skin deliberately. "I only told you one lie, and I admitted to it freely, Lavi. Everything else was true, even when I offered to set you free. Are you tied? You should be more concerned with your own honesty, since I never pretended that I _didn't_ intend to take you!"

Lavi froze, shaking his head frantically. "I didn't mean it! Tyki, wait, I'm _sorry!_ I thought you wouldn't want it, I didn't mean to make you hurt! Stop!" He jerked backward, pushing on the older man's shoulders for leverage. "Please don't do this anymore! Something's wrong with you, you aren't responsible! Let _go_!"

The man moved forward, following him up the bed until the headboard prevented his retreat. "I told you that you'd have to take care of yourself, Lavi. Whether you believe me to be mad or sane is your decision, and neither one will prevent me from taking you. I'll only ask you once more, do you want me to force you completely, or do you want to try something else? Answer me!"

Lavi shook his head, his pulse pounding in his ears. "I can't! Either way you do it, it's wrong! You keep saying don't be afraid, you won't hurt me, but it _does!_ Even when you thought I wanted it, it hurt _you!_ You looked at me like I really had stabbed you!" He closed his eye tightly, pressing hard against the wood behind him. "Aren't you tired of everybody hurting? You aren't helping yourself, you just keep making it worse!"

The man slammed his free hand against the headboard, narrowly missing the Exorcist. "Stop doing that!" He spat, leaning close to the boy's face. "What you did was _nothing!_ I never asked you to be careful of me, Lovely. I told you that I wanted you willing, but what I did to you before was just as good! Just hearing you say _yes_ then was enough to satisfy me, I didn't even _bother_ to wonder how you would be if you wanted it for yourself!"

He shoved his hand behind the boy's neck, pulling him forward. "I can forget that it ever happened, Lavi. The only thing I can't forget is _how good you feel_. I don't care if you want it, that doesn't stop you from _feeling_ , does it?" Lavi shook his head, the rapid pounding of his heart making him lightheaded.

"You don't have to worry about that! I did exactly what you said I would, damn you! If you can't see that you've already won, you really are crazy! Isn't it enough that I wanted it? I still do, and I hate it!" He slapped his hands over his mouth, biting down on his still-tender lip in mortification. Tyki grabbed his wrists, forcing his hands away.

"Oh, no you don't, Lavi. You say the most _interesting_ things when you're angry, don't you? That's all I needed to hear, so don't worry about the rest of your argument." He leaned in, covering the Exorcist's mouth with his own. Releasing his wrist, he slid back down the bed, pulling the squirming redhead with him. Reaching between them, he stroked the boy's entrance carefully, spreading the still-present oil over his skin before pressing his finger inward.

Lavi gasped against his mouth, his eye wide at the sudden intrusion. The older man pushed forward inexorably, adding a second finger with the same care as the first. He sought out the boy's tongue with his own, curling his fingers insistently within his body until he moaned brokenly into their kiss, his back arching away from the bed. Repeating his movements, Tyki pulled back only far enough to breathe. "Say it again, Lovely. Tell me what you hate."

Lavi shook his head, grabbing desperately at the comforter. "Don't do that," He panted, his eye tightly closed. "I don't want to..Oh God..!" His hands twisted roughly against the soft cloth, his fingers aching with the ferocity of his grip. "Please don't _do_ that, it's.." Tyki laughed softly, licking at his throat.

"It's _what_ , Lovely? You're shaking so hard, is it because it feels good?" He pressed harder, sucking on the boy's pulsepoint. "I think it makes you want to come, but you don't want it like that.. You want something else, don't you?"

Lavi nodded, averting his face. "Just..stop doing that.. It almost hurts, I don't want you to.. _Tyki_!" He gasped, jerking back from the man's touch. "Don't!" The older man laughed again, carefully withdrawing his fingers.

"As you wish, then. If you've had enough of that, I can certainly think of something better.." He retrieved the discarded container, collecting more of the warm liquid in his hand. "I hope your conscience will let you enjoy yourself, Lovely. As badly as I want you, I'm not sure how much time I'll be able to spend convincing you." He spread the oil onto himself, mildly surprised at the unsteadiness of his hand.

Lavi shook his head, his hands still fisted tightly into the blankets. "It doesn't matter," He growled, not meeting the man's eyes. "If I do, it's only because you know what you're doing." He took a breath, bracing himself as the older man leaned close.

"That may be so, Lavi, but I don't think you're as reluctant as you'd like me to believe." He pushed the Exorcist's knees up, moving forward until he felt the boy's opening against him. Lowering his head, he caught the other's tremulous sigh with his lips, pressing into him with a quiet moan. Lavi stiffened fearfully, the sharp burning sensation wringing a pained whine from his throat.

Tyki shushed him softly, his mouth still touching the other's as he rocked slowly forward. "Relax, Lovely. You're still so Goddamned tight.." He pulled back, urging the boy's legs higher. "Tell me if this is better.." He moved again, sliding deeper into the Exorcist's shaking body. "God, Lavi.. Is it still so bad?" Lavi nodded jerkily, his eye squeezed tightly closed.

The man forced himself to wait, ignoring the urge to slam into his silently gasping partner. Pressing their mouths together, he urged the younger boy to relax, adjusting his hold on the other's hips until he felt the Exorcist's choked cry against his skin. He smiled briefly at the noise, rocking against the place he'd found. "That's better, isn't it?" He murmured, lifting his head. " _That's_ what you were afraid of, because you knew it would feel too good to keep lying.. It's different like this, isn't it Lovely?"

He hummed in satisfaction when the boy nodded reluctantly, reaching down to pull one hand away from it's deathgrip on his blankets. "Let go, Lavi. You're going to want something to hold on to, but not just yet.." He drew the Exorcist's arm up, placing it lightly on his shoulder. "Do you want it like this, without the ropes and the yelling?" The younger boy looked away, his fingers tightening on the man's skin as he gasped out a weak affirmative.

Tyki smiled, amused at the boy's refusal to meet his eyes. "Don't be like that.. It isn't only your wish that makes it so, Lovely. I had thought to try this long before your attempt at deterring me. I _was_ seeking to gain your consent, after all."

Lavi winced, still feeling a pang of guilt at the man's casual reference to his failed deception. The older man took his expression for one of discomfort, frowning briefly as he shifted the Exorcist's body. "Don't be afraid to move, Lavi. If you need to express your displeasure, do so. Scratches and bruises heal, they don't concern me in the least." He lifted the boy's other hand, resting it on his unoccupied shoulder. "Show me what you feel, Lovely." He resumed his movements, ignoring the sudden pressure on his skin as the redhead's hands tightened.

He allowed himself a moment of freedom, biting down on the other's throat with a hiss. Lavi jumped in response, his eye opening in surprise when the older man shivered.

Biting his lip, he lifted himself hesitantly, his motions sending a rush of dizzying pleasure up his spine. He repeated the action, his shoulders pressing into the mattress for leverage as he tightened his knees against the man's sides with a muffled whine. Tyki sucked on the skin he'd bitten, his hands moving beneath the Exorcist's lifted hips to support him as he quickened his own thrusts. The boy's pulse jumped against his mouth, his ragged cries lending a sudden urgency to the man's already stilted control.

"Please, I..I want..!" He shook his head, his short nails pressing against the other's skin as he struggled to collect his thoughts into something resembling order. "Why are you shaking like that? What's..?" Tyki cut him off with an impatient growl, lifting his mouth away from his throat to reply.

"I told you before we started, didn't I? I want you far too much to be patient, Lovely. I don't want to hurt you, but when you _move_ like that, I want to be far less careful." He emphasized his words with a sharp jerk on the other's hips, his meaning plain. "I may not be able to control myself, Lavi. I _need_ this, whether you want it or not."

Lavi arched against him, his hands clenched tightly on the sweat-slickened skin of his back. "Don't do that.." He hissed, ignoring what sense he had left. "Don't use me to hurt yourself, dammit! You _know_ I want it! You made me say it!" He lifted his knees, hooking his ankles behind the man's hips. "You made me want you, so stop playing games and acting like it makes any difference!" He glared up at the older man, using his hands to jerk him down until they were almost nose to nose. "How doesn't matter, does it? You left _that_ up to me!"

He held the man's slightly startled gaze, rocking his hips. "You asked, I answered. From here, it feels to me like you have exactly what you _needed_ so damned much!" He laughed humorlessly, closing his eye. "What else did you _need_ , Tyki? Even if I _didn't_ like it, I still said I wanted it. Was there anything besides that?" He drew in a quick breath, trying to calm his sudden rage. "I'm through trying to make any sense of you. Just get it over with."

The older man stared back at him, his eyes narrowing. "Is that what you want, Lavi? You want me to get on with it?"

The boy snorted indelicately, refusing to look away. "You already told me that what _I_ want doesn't matter. This is about _you_ , Tyki, what _you_ want. You said you wanted to fuck me, so stop pretending that I have a choice and do it!"

The man's eyes abruptly changed, the pupils contracting to hair-thin slits. " _Yes,_ " He hissed, his fingers digging into the other's hips with bruising force. "That's exactly what I said, isn't it? I said I was going to fuck you, and you were going to _love_ it. I shouldn't have worried about _that_ , because I can _feel_ how much you want it, Lovely. Before you let your temper get the better of you, I'll bet you were going to tell me to stop being so damned careful, weren't you?"

Lavi glared at him, his gaze unflinching even as the older man's hips snapped forward. "At least you aren't stupid, too." He arched his back, his legs still tight around the other's waist. "Do I still need to ask you, Tyki?"

The former Noah bent his head, biting the Exorcist's already-marked throat with a quiet laugh. "Yes."

The boy shook his head, amused despite his still-present anger. He released the older man's back, sinking his fingers into the damp mass of his hair before pulling his head up. Ignoring the feral coloring of his eyes, he sighed. "Harder, please?"

Tyki nodded, pressing a hand against his back. "Hold on tight, Lovely. I don't think this is going to take very long." He leaned in, catching the other's mouth possessively as he drove into him with barely-contained desperation. Feeling the boy's equally urgent response, he hummed appreciatively against his lips, his teeth closing on the tip of his tongue. The slight taste of his own blood was maddening, but even that small pain was enough to satisfy his thirst for violence.

Lavi whimpered questioningly, the sound muffled as he licked slowly over the man's lower lip. Tyki shook his head minutely, moving as if to pull back before the younger boy could catch the tang of copper on his breath. Feeling the other's fingers tighten stubbornly, he swallowed, hoping that the Exorcist would be too far gone in his passion to notice what bit of flavor remained.

He allowed the boy to continue, opening his mouth to return the hesitant gesture. Lavi hummed in confusion, his nose wrinkling slightly as he took a breath. "Stop doing that," He panted, frowning. "Or I'll bite you myself."

Tyki ignored his irritation, leaning back in. "Will you? How utterly frightening.." He tipped his head, baring his throat. "If it pleases you, then by all means."

Lavi scowled at his condescending tone, raising his head to press a sharp nip the skin of his neck. "Don't tease," He hissed, digging his heels into the man's back. "You picked the wrong one for _that_ sort of thing." His voice shook noticeably, his movements faltering as he gasped. "Tyki..! Oh, _God_ , please!"

The older man nodded in reply, changing his pace to match the other's rising cries. "I know, Lavi. Do you want it _now_? You feel so close, is it really that good?"

A pleading moan was the best the boy could manage, his blunt nails pressed into the skin of the man's nape as he nodded. Tyki growled against his throat at the sting, his own voice rasping with need. "Then come, Lovely. Come for me, if you want it so much." He held the boy's hips tightly, adjusting his angle until the Exorcist arched almost painfully upward, his hands clenching on the older man's skin as he screamed his name, the stone walls echoing it back in a distorted chorus that nearly drowned out the man's own ragged cry of release.

He braced his shaking arms, catching himself before he could collapse on top of the redhead's smaller form. He rested his head against the boy's heaving chest, struggling to regain his breath. " _God,_ Lavi.. Did I hurt you?"

The younger boy shook his head, jerking his hands away from the older man's broken skin. "You're _bleeding!_ I didn't mean to do that, I'm so sorry!" Tyki laughed tiredly, lifting his head.

"It's all right, Lovely, they're only scratches. I didn't even feel you do it, it's nothing. Why did you try so hard to make me angry? You couldn't have meant _all_ of that, or you wouldn't still be holding on so tight.."

The boy averted his face, releasing the man's body. "I don't even know," He mumbled, his eye closed in embarrassment. "It just made me so mad, because you were doing it all for nothing." He sighed quietly, sliding back with a wince. "Why would you want something like that if _you_ didn't even like it? For that matter, why are you so determined not to hurt me, if you want someone to take the place of who you lost? I _know_ they suffered, why would you not want to make _me_ feel like that too?" He wiped his face discreetly, feigning tiredness to hide the motion. "Is that the point, to make me lose my mind while I try to work it out?"

He drew up his knees, ignoring his discomfort. "Tyki, I burned your 'sister' _alive_! What use could you possibly have to do this? Even when I don't want it, you still make sure that it's good! I hate myself for wanting you, enough to keep me from ever telling a soul! But that isn't _nearly_ as bad as what Rhode must have felt, why are you keeping me here if I'm not going crazy or suffering?"

The older man regarded him silently, waiting for him to look up. "Do you regret it, Lavi? Would you have stopped it, done something else if you could?" The boy looked away, his eye closed tight.

"No one should have _had_ to die! Akuma were one thing, but even your family had _some_ pieces that were human, didn't they? How the hell could you love each other and then just take people's lives? Dammit, none of that should have happened!" He yelled the last into his knees, his hands drawn into shaking fists.

Tyki sighed, rising from the bed. Walking to his bath chamber, he took a cloth and soaked it in warm water, cleaning himself briskly. Rinsing it well, he returned to the bed, urging the younger boy to raise his head. "Use this," He said, offering the washcloth to the still frowning Exorcist. "I'll get you a clean shirt, take that one off." He took the garment, dropping it into the clothes hamper before retrieving another, holding it out for the shivering boy to put on.

As Lavi carefully buttoned the shirt, the older man pulled the comforter back, waiting for him to turn back around. "I told you, I'm sure we'll spend time talking, Lovely. Right now is not the time for that, it's likely nearing dawn." He raised an eyebrow as the boy stepped back. "Where are you going? Do you honestly think I'd let you out of my sight after this? Come here." He indicated the unmade bed, waiting expectantly as the redhead approached slowly.

Urging him onto the mattress, he gestured tiredly at the room's light, plunging the room into pitch darkness. He moved carefully under the blankets, seeking out the boy's silent form. He pulled him firmly into the center of the bed, sinking down beside him with a quiet sigh. "Sleep, Lovely. Nothing will harm you here, including myself. Tomorrow, we'll talk." The Exorcit nodded slowly, allowing the man to settle against his back.

For a long time, there was no sound save breathing, and Lavi took almost no time to think before willing himself to rest, his questions following him into dreams of golden blood and melted candles.

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Well, that's number two, such as it is. Anyone still wanting more of this? Drop in and review. Or IM. Something. Lol, I have several things going, so I don't want to waste time writing a fic that no one wants to read ^_^

 


	3. Insomniac Dawn

NG3 - Insomniac Dawn

Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 3 - Insomniac Dawn

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And in addition to that:  
Dear Fangirls: I would just like to say, fuck everyone who faves or alert adds without leaving a review, no matter how brief. Srsly, Fuk u with a pigpen fencepost. Now on with the fic.  
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Tyki stirred, blinking in the room's still-darkened silence. Lifting his hand, he rubbed at his eyes, pausing when his arm nudged lightly against the bed's other occupant. He turned carefully onto his side, gesturing toward the nearest lamp. It glowed dimly, casting just a hint of light in the windowless room. He looked down at the sleeping Exorcist, his expression mildly perturbed when his stomach gave a sudden lurch.

_'Now that I have him, I don't know what to do,'_ He mused, watching the boy's chest rise and fall steadily. _'I made him do as I wished, but there's no meaning.. My victory is hollow.'_

He raised himself to an elbow, leaning his head into his hand as he thought. _'I have what I sought.. With his admission of it, I need not touch him again.'_ The notion caused his stomach to twist again, his eyes narrowing at the odd sensation. _'Perhaps that is the reason for my discontent, I had imagined it would take far longer to force the confession from him..'_

His brow creased in confusion, remembering the boy's attempt to anger him. _'His will seems weak, to cease his resistance so easily, but he hides his determination under such lies,'_ He studied the Exorcist's face intently, lifting his free hand to push aside the hair that concealed his uncovered eye. _'I wanted so badly to break this one.. To resist Rhode's manipulation, he must have made an immensely strong effort, his will should have been unbelievably satisfying to crush.'_

As he stared at the boy's relaxed features, he could feel the faint stirring of the dark inside him, it's sibilant whisper urging him to **_hurt/tear/rend_** the sleeping form in the bed, to **_take/have/keep_** as he would. He forced it down, ignoring the sharp pang of **_want_** that answered, the shadow twisting his gut with a flare of utter **_lust/take/have/NOW_** for this boy, this fool who slept on so soundly.

He reached forward, his shaking hand hanging over the boy's bare shoulder for an instant before catching hold of the blanket, tugging it up to cover him. Tyki shuddered at the dark's angry snarl, leaving the bed carefully. He turned his back, keeping his face averted as he retrieved a set of clothes for himself, dressing quietly to avoid waking the other. The urging in his head died out, settling into a scornful murmur as he walked to his bath chamber.

He splashed his face with cold water, glancing up to see the ever-present sign of his duality. The color of his eyes had never concerned him before, but now he wondered if the Exorcist noticed their odd hue. Several times, he'd thought that the boy feared their changes, his expression showing that he certainly saw them do so. Tyki knew that his moods allowed the change to happen, it was almost as if the _other_ used the slightest weakness to manifest itself. Shaking off his musings, he remembered the redhead's pained expression of the previous night with a frown.

Digging through a cabinet, he found a small jar of healing salve, carrying it back into the bedroom with him as he prepared to leave. Setting it on the night table, he looked for a pen and paper, writing a short note that the salve should help with any soreness the boy might have on waking. Foregoing a signature, he sat the jar on top of the paper and stepped away with a final look at the resting Exorcist. He concentrated briefly, ignoring the bright flash of light and pain that accompanied the use of his remaining power of teleportation.

Opening his eyes, he looked around the deserted backstreet he'd chosen, assuring himself that no one had witnessed his sudden appearance. Seeing no people, he strode out into the main roadways, determined to walk off the hunger that still chased at his mind. He wandered aimlessly for several hours, taking only the slightest interest in the flood of humanity that passed him on his trek.

Pausing outside a deserted building, he took a cigarette from his pocket, striking a match to light the end with a sigh. His mind had cleared somewhat, the darkness receding enough to allow him a small measure of peace. He drew the poisonous smoke into his lungs, mentally scoffing at it's seeming inability to infect him with it's deadly disease. Though he'd lost much of the abilities he'd held as a servant of the Earl, some parts of that influence remained, the ability to summon things that were his, the use of his touch to cause pain or pleasure.. Even a limited use of phasing matter and teleportation lingered in him, but the nearly omnipotent drive, the wellspring that supplied it was gone.

He knew that his strength and endurance were beyond normal, as a result of the Noah's changes in his body, and he could easily move at speeds that astonished the average person, but each use of the things given by Noah brought him varying degrees of pain, from mild discomfort to agony so sharp as to make him lose his footing. In the time since his cleansing, he'd often sat in thought of his waking moment, the fading form of the Millenium Earl leaning close to murmur in his ear with an ever-present smile that spoke of torture and lies.

_'The last is yours, Tyki-pon.. When the rest were done, I saved you this bit to show the way to your vengeance. Use it to make the world your toy, and when you die, your family will come for you and then you'll wait for more life together. Happy Birthday, final child!'_

He shuddered, thinking of the intense agony of that moment, when his _Father_ had given him the broken pieces of his siblings, the edges of _them_ sharper than any knives ever forged. When he'd come back to himself, he was alone, his skin torn and ravaged from his own hands as he'd struggled to quench the shadowed fire in his veins.

The _other_ had made itself known all too soon, driving him to **_lookthere/seehim/thatone_** decide on a victim for his revenge, it's influence allowing him only the choice of _who_ and _when_ to strike. He'd seen the boy for only a moment, the familiar jacket and sunset-bright hair catching his eye and holding him rigid.

He'd remembered the intensity in that single eye, the determination to hold him off although their power was nowhere near evenly matched. The Exorcist had taken an incredible beating at his hands, yet he rose again and again to fight until the fledgling samurai had appeared to take his place. When he'd seen him again, the same determination had faced him, but through the buffer of the Walker boy's insidious power of cleansing. The strike that had rent his dark Brother from his body had taken his mind as well, leaving him with no memory save the whiteness of the boy's living garment and the last impression of fatigued but triumphant green.

When he'd seen the source of that last memory, he'd acted almost without thinking, following him into a semi-deserted street with the _other_ demanding that he **_take/bring/DEFEAT_** use this opportunity to his advantage. In retrospect, the boy had made it almost too easy. He'd never even so much as glanced behind himself , his manner careless and unhurried. The man had simply waited until he was close enough to touch, his feet soundless on the rough pavement as he reached out a hand. Catching the redhead's black-clad shoulder, the older man had pulled him sharply back against his chest, his free hand covering the Exorcist's startled gasp as other dug forcefully into a point just beyond the base of his neck.

The boy had stiffened, then slumped bonelessly into the man's arms without even a sigh to announce his unconsciousness. Transporting them both at once had been difficult, not to mention painful, but the former Noah had managed, his strength boosted by sheer adrenaline and the triumphant **_Yours/Mine/Ours_** clamor of his 'companion'.

Remembering to bind his sleeping captive tightly, the man had taken a watching position, waiting for him to awaken as the pain in his body faded to a negligible ache. By the time the Exorcist began to stir, there was almost nothing to remind the older man of the once-raw feeling of his nerves.

The memory of what had transpired brought the man swiftly back to the present, the insidious voice awakening in frustration. Tyki forced himself to be calm, clenching his fists hard enough to break the skin of his palms with his nails as he fought the urge to simply return to the unsuspecting boy. After several minutes, the need faded, allowing him to slump tiredly against the wall.

As his breathing slowed, he became aware of a quiet sound, not unlike that of a cat, but distinctly _not_. Moving further toward the end of the building, the sound increased in volume until he stood listening at the mouth of a shadowed alley.

People passing by seemed ignorant to the urgent mewling, though some slowed or turned in it's direction without stopping. The man waited for an inquiry, or perhaps a sign of interest, but none seemed forthcoming, much to his disgust.

Tyki shook his head ruefully, unsurprised by the lack of response. He strode into the alleyway, mindful of the debris in his path. After walking perhaps a dozen yards, he spied a small shape on the ground, it's oddly gleaming flesh half-obscured by a thin layer of newspaper. He approached warily, stooping down to take a closer look at the source of the noise he'd heard.

Picking disgustedly at the crumpled paper, his eyes widened at the now-visible object before him. No more than an hour old, he surmised by it's wet skin, but robust and aware. The cord that had allowed it to share it's absent mother's life remained attached to it's tiny navel, the end suspiciously ragged.

He paused, looking closely at the newborn child. His eyes narrowed in confusion, searching for some malformation that would have warranted such treatment, but found nothing save a deep red birthmark on the sole of one tiny foot. As if sensing his scrutiny, the child's eyes blinked up at him passively, it's calm expression seeming to say _'Do with me what you will'_.

Tyki had no illusions about his own status in life, he'd never been one for lingering over the past. His own parents hadn't seen fit to claim him, leaving him in the care of a convenient monastery without even the benefit of a note to explain their reasons. He'd made himself into what he wished, a good and reliable person, a man that anyone should have been proud to call their son. Then, the Noah within him had awakened, and with it, the calm and refined illusion of the gentleman killer had emerged to become the cover for the darkness in his heart.

Shaking his head, he focussed on the matter at hand, namely the dirty and disheveled infant at his feet. Sighing in resignation, he slid his hands carefully behind the child's bottom and neck, cradling it's head as he lifted it to his chest with a grimace of distaste. Turning on his heel, he left the alley, ignoring the quiet gasps from the passing citizens. He looked for any sign of a policeman, or anyone who may be inclined to relieve him of his tiny burden.

Seeing nothing of the sort, he glared sharply at a small group of women who seemed to have nothing better to do than gawk. "You. Is there some place that I could take this child? The mother seems to have strayed." One of the women, somewhat older than her peers, stepped forward with a frown.

"Strayed? You mean, just left it...there? In that nasty place?" He nodded patiently, reminding himself that civilized women tended to talk for much longer than was strictly needed. She looked closely at the uncovered babe, her expression as confused as his own had been. "But there's nothing wrong with..her. Goodness, what am I saying? You should take her to the hospital. Do you know where the Eaning's Station is?" She seemed relieved at his curt nod.

"The hospital is only a street or so beyond that, to your left. The doctor's assistant should be able to help you."

He smiled thinly, thanking her for her help. Setting out in the direction of the Station she'd mentioned, he noticed that the child was shaking in the slightly damp air of the afternoon. He shook his head, amused at his situation as he brought the babe closer to his body, his formerly white shirt now hopelessly stained with blood and things he'd rather not examine too closely.

His mouth quirked slightly as the child sighed in response, settling itself as close to the offered warmth as it could. _'Strange that you feel so safe, Little One, in arms that would have crushed out a hundred like you not so long ago..'_ He spied the long walkway of the rail station ahead, his soiled appearance drawing several surprised glances and at least one questioning stare as he passed by, bearing left as instructed.

He could see the grey stone facade of the hospital drawing near, the steps neatly swept and relatively clear of traffic as he ascended them carefully. Pushing open the heavy front door, he moved toward a young lady in a starched cap and apron, clearing his throat to catch her attention. "Excuse me, miss. I found this child abandoned in an alley several streets back, and a passerby advised me to bring her to you. Can you take her?"

The girl took in his gore-stained apparel, her eyes fixing on the sleeping child he held with a smile. "The poor thing! Of course we can take her in, anyone would love to have such a beautiful child, Mr..?" He forced a smile in return, nodding.

"Michaels. Tyrone Michaels, pleased to make your acquaintance, despite the circumstances." He shifted the baby carefully, wondering if the girl intended to collect it or not. Sensing his discomfort, the nurse shook her head quickly.

"I'm sorry, wait just a moment and I'll find something to wrap her in until we can bathe her properly." He smiled in genuine relief as the girl hurried away, no doubt wondering what had caused the child's mother to treat it so harshly. Feeling the infant stir, he looked down. Wide blue eyes stared back at him, the girl-child's small fingers closed tightly on a button as she blinked owlishly in the room's bright lights. He could see her features more clearly now, noting the already caucasian tone of her dimpled skin, and the shock of deep auburn hair that clung to her sticky head.

He frowned, using a finger to nudge at her clenched fist. She released the plastic abruptly, her tiny digits gripping his finger with surprising force. He tugged gently, raising his eyebrow at her stubborn hold. "Just like a woman," He murmured, pulling harder. "They never do know what's good for them."

He scowled at the child, now contenting herself with jamming his unsuspecting finger clumsily into her mouth. "Enjoying yourself?" She gurgled benevolently, seemingly pleased with her acquisition. Hearing the nurse's rapid approach, he looked up in relief.

"Now, let's see what we can do, hm?" She wrapped the squirming child quickly, holding her against her chest with a smile. "That's better. Thank you for your patience, Mr. Michaels, and thank you for bringing her, she's made quite a mess of you." Tyki felt strangely off-balance, but nodded.

"It was no problem, I'm happy to have found a place for her. I'll leave you ladies to it, then." He smiled politely, turning to leave. The child keened suddenly, her squirming more pronounced as she struggled against the tightly wound cloth. He winced, forcing himself to continue walking as the soft wails became indignant shrieks. "Good day, miss. And you as well, Little One."

He sighed quietly as the door swung closed behind him, his eyes narrowing in the sunlight. Even though he'd intended to make a day of it, he found himself suddenly wishing for peace. He descended the steps wearily, taking care that no one was watching as he moved to stand behind a nearby wall. He concentrated, hissing at the sharp flare of pain that met his efforts.

Opening his eyes, he relaxed at the familiar trappings of the place he now called home, the dark colors and low light aiding in his attempt to relieve the distant clamor in his temples. He turned, hearing the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. Though he preferred to stay far from his unwilling guest, he forced himself to straighten his shoulders for the boy's inevitable entry.

As expected, the redhead pushed open the door, not bothering to knock as he strode in. "Ah, Lavi. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?" He smiled narrowly, noticing the other's obvious displeasure by the irritated set of his jaw and the dangerous glint in his eye.

"Where the fuck did you go? I've looked all over, there's no way out of here." He frowned up at the taller man, his hands clenched in frustration. "You could have said something, you didn't have to let me sleep, I thought..." He trailed off, his eye widening as he looked at the man in horror.

"Why are you covered in blood? Where are you hurt?" He ignored the man's surprised face, stepping forward and yanking open his shirt, heedless of the buttons that shot in all directions at his haste to reveal the man's skin. "Where is it? Did it heal already?"

Tyki shook his head, laughing quietly at the boy's obvious puzzlement. "It isn't mine, Lovely. Don't concern yourself, there was a small matter that needed handling." The Exorcist jerked abruptly back, his face paling.

"What did you do? If it isn't yours.. Oh my God." He glared up at the former Noah, his cheeks regaining their normal coloring and more as he advanced. "You bastard." He seethed, his nails digging into his palms. "You murdering son of a _Bitch_!" He grabbed the taller man's open shirt, shouting directly into his astonished face. "You can't stop fucking up people's lives, can you? What, you didn't get enough blood from me? Did you just need to blow off some steam, get back to your usual rape and pillage of humanity?"

He shoved the man viciously away, his eye narrowed with malice. "I wish you had a heart, because I suddenly feel like stabbing a lunatic may not be such a bad thing. Do you still want to die, Noah?" The man bolted upright, leaning down to face him directly.

"Do _not_ call me that, Lavi. I won't tell you again." The Exorcist snorted at his warning.

"I'll call you whatever the fuck I please. If I want to call you _Noah_ all day long, I will. What will you do, hurt me?" He waved his hand negligently. "Oh, sorry. You won't do that because you keep your word. I must have forgotten because of all the _other_ bullshit you said. Why don't you do me a favor and find me something sharp? Then we can discuss what I _can_ and _can't_ do, Asshole."

Tyki straightened, his eyes hidden behind his loose hair. He stretched out a hand, ignoring the boy's jump at the motion. "As you wish, Lovely." His eyes flared a deep gold, his fingers closing on the handle of the hooked blade he'd summoned. "Do you remember what I told you about this one? You can see for yourself if I have a heart, or any number of things, with it." He turned the blade toward himself, holding the shining handle out to the shaking Exorcist. "Help yourself."

Lavi reached forward, jerking the knife out of his hand. The curved tip sliced into the man's palm, the cut welling with crimson blood that dripped quickly through his fingers and fell to the floor in pattering drops. "That's a good start," He mocked the other's earlier statement, smiling humorlessly. "But at least I know that you bleed. If you bleed, you can die." He lifted his head, meeting the man's wide eyes.

"Who was it? Someone that looked at you wrong? It isn't as if you need a reason, though." He spat, pinning the other with his stare. "Did you at least wait for them to turn around, or did you get them from behind like you got me?"

He took a step forward, ignoring the man's suddenly tense shoulders. "I'm amazed that you even recognize me, since I didn't walk in here backwards. Was there anything else you'd like to say, since we were supposed to _talk_ today? I don't really care about the whole story, because it's probably the same tired old shit that you.. things..were spouting for the last decade or so, but it would be a shame to miss hearing it again for my records."

The older man collected himself with visible effort, his eyes closed tightly as he shook with urgent restraint. "The blood is from a child I found in an alley. The mother decided that it wasn't worth her time to nurture it."

He made to continue, but the boy's hoarse yell of rage silenced him. "A _baby_? You just decided to handle it your Goddamned self, since nobody else wanted it?!" He swiped violently at the man's lifted hand, narrowly missing his fingers. "You could have just left it there! I know you've lost your fucking _mind_ , but even a common killer would have known better! You really are the most pathetic excuse for a human I've ever heard of, and that takes doing!"

Tyki stepped forward, his bleeding hand clenched. "Your mouth is going to bring you trouble _very_ soon, Lavi. I suggest you either shut it or find a more suitable use for it." The Exorcist refused to back away, tightening his grip on the slightly wet knife.

"The only use I can think of would have been to bite off your lying _tongue_ , you fucking coward. Keep right on using it though. A few more steps and I won't even have to stretch." He smiled, the expression filled with purpose. "Maybe I should have tried a little harder to fool you, last time. I felt _so bad_ when I saw how much it seemed to hurt you, but now I wish I'd never stopped. It would have been absolutely _perfect_ if you'd really thought I wanted you."

He nodded at the man's indrawn breath, curling his empty hand invitingly. "Why don't you come here, _sweetheart_? Maybe I'll be nice and give you a little kiss goodbye, since you did do a pretty good job of getting me off before I had to kill you."

Tyki took one last step, his voice almost too low to catch. "Lavi, I truly wish you knew when to be silent. Every word you say brings me that much closer to losing _this_ part of myself." He looked up, the tiny slivers of his pupils bringing the boy's imminent tirade to a sudden halt. "Do you remember what I told you, about the things you say? The little piece of _other_ inside of me doesn't feel like dying today, Lovely. It feels like maybe I should give living a little more time."

The Exorcist took an unwilling step back, some inner sense warning him that his best option would be to keep silent and listen. The older man made as if to step to the side, a subtle shift of weight the only outward sign of his intent. Lavi flinched, drawing himself up in readiness to fight the forward attack that never came.

Instead, there was a slight flicker and the man was gone. Before he had time to wonder exactly what had happened, Lavi found himself pressed firmly against something alive, an arm wrapped tightly around his throat even as it's mate took hold of his wrist with deliberate force. He gasped, releasing his grip on the knife as the hand flexed warningly against his skin.

" _Liar_ ," He whispered, turning as far as the man's grip allowed. "Before the hurting starts, you're a liar."

The older man laughed softly, his breath tickling the boy's neck. " _Hurting_ , Lovely? Not likely." He caught the small silver hoop in the other's ear with his teeth, licking the skin behind it. "I don't think there's going to be any of that, because you don't want me to hurt you, do you? You offered me a kiss goodbye, could I have it before this me is gone?"

Lavi shuddered, his voice shaky but firm. "Is there a difference? Either way, I'm going to be stuck with you." He swallowed, blinking quickly. "I can't believe that I was actually _afraid_ when I thought you were bleeding. After the shit you've done, I should have been happy and hoped for it to be slow and _fatal_."

The man's arm tightened marginally, his hand leaving the boy's wrist in favor of holding his waist. "You _should_ have? What _else_ were you to do, Lavi? If you weren't thinking that, what _were_ you thinking?"

The Exorcist laughed, shaking his head weakly. "Stupid things. I was thinking that I didn't..." He stopped, biting his lip. "I didn't want you to die."

Tyki stiffened. "Don't lie to me, Lovely. I know better than to take what you say to heart, because you already fooled me once." He leaned closer, pulling the boy's head up to meet his gaze. "You don't know anything about me. You don't even know _why_ your deception caused me grief."

Lavi frowned, shifting carefully in the man's still-tight hold. "I know enough. I know that you want to hurt me so bad that it makes _you_ hurt." He shifted again, pressing back against the man's chest to escape the pressure on his arched throat. "And I know that even if you're mad enough to kill me right now, you _still_ want me." He laughed at the older man's quiet gasp. "It's sad, really. If you hadn't have gone out for your little side trip, I may have actually _let_ you do me."

He closed his eye, shaking his head. "I really don't know why it hurt you like that, though. You keep saying that you want me to be like that, but when you had it, you didn't know what to do with it." Tyki loosened his grip, allowing the boy to move away from his body somewhat.

"That doesn't matter anymore, Lavi. What _does_ matter is that you've misunderstood me. I did _not_ kill that child. I found her alone, and I took her to the hospital. Her mother left without even trying to clean her, _that's_ where all of this came from." He sighed quietly, resting his face against the back of the boy's shirt. "I can't keep you here anymore, Lovely. Eventually, I'll lose myself, and the other will kill you."

Lavi froze at his admission, his eye wide with horrified disbelief. "You.. _You_ saved her? Then why did you let me..!" He jerked forward, half-turning before the man's arms caught him. "You were going to just let me try to kill you? Let go, Dammit!" He struggled to throw off the other's hold, turning completely around. "I _cut_ you! You just gave me a fucking _knife_ and let me cut you! Can't you do _anything_ without somebody hurting?"

Tyki stared down at him in surprise at his renewed anger. "I..I don't know," He looked away, shaking his head. "The part of me that _wants_ to hurt you is going to win, Lavi. I thought I wanted to break you, to make you hate yourself and suffer until you _had_ to do something to save yourself.. But you.. I _can't_! I can't just keep trying! It isn't working, because I'm not satisfied! I can't just leave it like this, it won't _let_ me do that, it wants to see you bleed!"

He released the boy, stepping back. "You have to get away from me, Lavi. If it can't make me hurt you, it _will_ make me want you. Leave. _Now_."

Lavi shook his head. "What good will that do? Is there even a _lock_ on the door?" The man took another step back, widening the distance between himself and the younger boy.

"That doesn't matter. I _won't_ follow you, that much I can promise." He closed his eyes, turning away from the redhead's slightly alarmed look. "Get out, Lavi. I don't want you here right now. Just leave, and stay gone until I come for you myself."

Lavi frowned at him suspiciously. "How can you promise that? If you could stop yourself, I wouldn't need to leave in the first place! What are you going to _do_ , Tyki?" He stepped forward, his voice rising. "Explain it to me, because that sounds suspiciously like _bullshit_!"

The older man retreated, keeping pace with the Exorcist's steady advance until he bumped awkwardly against the wall. "Don't!" He snapped, his eyes a frightening mix of gold and black. "Don't come near me, I can't..!" He shook his head furiously. "Do you not understand me, Lovely? If you value your safety, get out of here. I can't make it any plainer, so stop pushing and _get out!_ "

Lavi ignored him, stopping within an easy arm's reach of the other. "What are you going to do? How can you make it stop, if it's that strong?" He leaned forward, his eye narrowing. "You said it wants to make you hurt me. If you don't let it do that, it makes you want to.. What happens if you don't do _that_ either?" He glared up at the shaking man, his hands tightening into fists. "Answer me!"

Tyki sat down heavily, leaning his head on his raised knees. "It will stop once it gets what it wants, Lavi. If I stay away from you, I can distract myself until the need passes." The Exorcist knelt, waiting for him to look up.

"How do you do that, Tyki? If you don't..let it have _me_ , what else is there? You aren't going to hurt yourself, are you?" The man's expression hardened, his eyes still flooded with flecks of gold.

"I will heal, Lovely. You, on the other hand, will _not._ "

Lavi growled in annoyance, grabbing the older man's arms. "Is _that_ why you keep doing it? Because that _thing_ makes you want one or the other?" Tyki shook his head, shrugging off the boy's hands.

"It makes me want to harm you, Lavi. The rest is just my own wants made stronger." He shivered, pressing closer to the wall. "Leave," He hissed, closing his eyes. "You're too close, Lovely. I can _smell_ myself on you, get out of here before..!"

The redhead cut him off, taking hold of his shoulders and giving him a shake. "Don't let it!" He said, studying the man's face intently. "Even if I leave, it won't help! If you let it make you hurt yourself, what's the point?" Tyki clenched his hands, ignoring the flare of pain from the cut one.

"The point is to keep from killing you, imbecile! All _I_ wanted was to make you admit to wanting me! After that, there's only _this_ , and what _it_ wants! I don't need to touch you anymore, so all that's left is killing!" He visibly collected himself, taking a breath. "Lavi, don't make me break my word. If you don't get the hell _away_ from me, I'll have to do _something_ to keep myself from taking your life. Is that what you want, to have me force myself on you to keep you breathing?"

Lavi shook his head, inching closer. "Don't let it do that." He said, nudging the other's knees apart. Leaning forward, he pulled the surprised man into a tight embrace, resting his head in the crook of his neck. "If you're afraid that it's going to make you hurt me, don't let _it_ make that decision."

Tyki pushed him back, his expression urgent. "There isn't anything to decide! I'm not going to hurt you, and I'm _not_ going to touch you because _it_ wants me to!"

Lavi regarded him calmly, his slight shivers the only indication of his anxiety. "Then..do it because _you_ want to." The older man stared back at him in rising horror.

"No! I told you, I don't need that anymore! I have what I wanted, there isn't any _reason_ to force you!" He pushed against the Exorcist's chest, struggling to control the answering surge of lust brought on by his words. He could feel the darkness twisting against his will, his tenuous hold on it's urges diminishing with frightening quickness. "Let go," He ground out, pushing harder. "Damn you, do as I say!"

Lavi shook his head, refusing to be moved. "Nobody said anything about _force_. You don't have to be like that, I'll prove it!" He released the man's shoulders, shoving his hands away from their place on his chest. He leaned in, catching the older man's pale face in his hands. "You never got your kiss," He said, pressing his lips hesitantly to the other's. Feeling him stiffen in alarm, he slid one hand into the back of his hair, keeping him in place as he waited for a response.

Tyki held his breath, clutching the boy's shirt tightly in his hands. The feeling of his mouth was torturous, leaving the older man shaking when he carefully nibbled on his lip with a questioning hum. His breath caught sharply at the sensation of the Exorcist's tongue on his skin, his hands flexing painfully before releasing their grip on the crumpled material. Moving slowly, he draped his arms around the boy's waist, accepting his silent offer with a soft moan.

Lavi sighed in agreement, tracing his lower lip before deepening the kiss, his movements almost fearful as he sought out the man's tongue with his own. He whimpered quietly at the eager response, his hands shaking as he felt the arms around him tighten convulsively. He pulled back, catching his breath in quick pants before leaning in a second time, his heart beating almost painfully hard in his chest. "I mean it," He whispered, ignoring the tightness in his throat. "This time, I really do mean it. Don't hurt yourself."

Tyki shook his head, his own breathing rushed. "You don't. You _can't_. You hate that I've made you want me, you hate yourself and you hate me. You lie."

The boy's eye narrowed. "The baby. Would you have saved her, before this? Before you brought me here, would you have even _thought_ about it?" The older man blinked at him in surprise.

"No.. I would have left her. I wouldn't have killed her, but I certainly wouldn't have helped. The Noah wouldn't have _let_ me help her." He leaned back, resting his head on the wall behind him. "What's left of it is too busy with _you_ to have stopped me now. All that concerns _it_ is bringing you harm, Lovely. Surely you can _see_ that this isn't going to stop it.. Even though I don't need you, _it_ hasn't finished."

Lavi nodded, taking a breath. "I know there's something wrong with you. Besides that, _you're_ the one that's lying." He pressed closer, watching the man's eyes widen. "You keep saying need, need.. You don't _need_ to touch me, you don't _need_ anything else..But you _want_ it. If you didn't, you wouldn't have kept me here. What do you _want_ , Tyki? Not that thing, not the shit you say about 'revenge', but _you_. What do you want?"

The man shivered, avoiding his stare. "I want nothing. _Nothing_."

Lavi snorted, pulling his face back around. "Liar. Even when you were sleeping before, you wanted to die. I heard you say it, so don't look at me like that." He sighed, pushing one of the man's knees down. "You still want _me_ , too. That's why you're letting me do this, isn't it? When I tried to trick you, you said that you wanted it for real." He moved the man's opposite leg, holding his gaze steadily despite his nervous shaking.

"Do you still want that? Before that thing _makes_ you fuck me, do you want it for yourself?" He bit his lip, swinging his leg across the man's straightened one. "If you really meant what you said, I'll let you. Do you want it?"

The older man stared at him stupidly, shock and disbelief playing across his features. "No!" He said, pulling on the back of the boy's shirt. "You can't _do_ this!" His eyes widened in panic as the boy moved his other leg, straddling his lap. "You're supposed to hate me, idiot! Nothing I've done to you means _anything_! I took you like a whore, Lavi, to take back what I lost! That was all!"

Lavi winced at his volume, but ignored the words. "What did you lose,Tyki? What was it that you wanted to get back?"

Tyki stilled, shaking his head. "It doesn't matter. You can't give me that, anymore than I can give you back what I took from you. It was all for nothing." He closed his eyes, releasing the boy's shirt. "It used me just as much as it used you, Lavi. I let it convince me that there was nothing but breaking you, taking _you_ in place of _them_."

Lavi nodded, resting his hands carefully on the man's tense shoulders. "I get that. But if that's the case, what are you going to do?" He bent his head, his nearness prompting a surprised look from the other. "You said you weren't going to let it control you, so don't. Do what _you_ want to do." The man's muscles jumped under his hands, his mouth opening to protest. Lavi cut him off with a kiss, this one far less hesitant than the first. He dug his fingers tightly into the older man's hair, demanding a response.

Tyki grabbed his hips, a muffled noise going unnoticed as the boy continued to explore his mouth. He gasped when the Exorcist moved purposefully against him, his hands tightening as he pulled him closer. He felt the boy's answering shiver, his slow rocking becoming more insistent as he moaned approvingly. He broke away for air, his voice quiet and strained.

" _God_ that's good.. Don't even _try_ to say you don't want it, Tyki. Even you're not that good of a liar." The man shook his head, sliding a hand up his back to push him closer.

"I do, Lovely. I want you so much that it hurts, but I don't think I should let you do this." He pushed aside the material of his shirt, licking at the skin beneath. "If you do this, neither part of me is going to want to let you leave, do you understand that? Doing this will make you _mine_ , Lavi."

His free hand left it's place on the boy's hip, slipping under the hem of his shirt to stroke his bare skin. "If you don't want that, you need to say so right now. You won't be able to take it back, if you offer yourself to us. Are you really sure that your freedom is worth a few moments of pleasure?"

Lavi shook his head, leaning into his touch. "You'd be just as much _mine_. I'm not that selfless, Tyki. And it isn't for a few minutes, either." He untangled his fingers, wrapping his arms around the man's shoulders. "It's for as long as you can stand it."

The older man pulled him forward in response, biting down on the beat of his pulse. "Your mouth is getting you into trouble, Lovely. Unless you want this _right now_ , I suggest finding less..Tempting things to say."

Lavi hissed at the feeling of his teeth, the sound catching with a whine as the hand on his hip moved steadily lower. "That's fact. Tempting is completely different.. If I were trying to tempt you, I would have said that you're right about the thing you do with your fingers.. It really _does_ make me want to come, but I'd rather do that while you fuck me."

The teeth on his throat bore down nearly to the point of drawing blood. He laughed shakily at the controlled violence, his heart beating too quickly to be anything but a low hum in his ears. "Are you trying to scare me, Tyki?" He asked, holding the man's head against his skin. "If you are, it isn't working. I actually think I _like_ it."

Tyki gasped, pulling his mouth away. "You really _must_ stop that, Lavi." He said, his expression serious despite his still-roaming hands. "I don't think I'll be able to be careful with you, if you keep saying things like that." The boy laughed again, arching into the other's hands.

"From what you said about that _thing_ , you wouldn't be able to anyway, would you? Will it _let_ you be slow and gentle, this time?" He let go of the man's neck and shoulder, taking hold of the bottom of his borrowed shirt. "Move your hand," He said, tugging the garment over his head and tossing it away. "That's better. You should get rid of yours, it's pretty gross."

Tyki laughed, shaking his head in amused arousal. "God, Lovely.. You're closer to being insane than I am. You _do_ have a point, however." He leaned forward, shrugging off the ruined shirt with a frown of distaste. "Ugh, I hadn't realized the extent of it.. Little wonder that the people between the alley and the hospital looked at me as they did."

Lavi nodded, running his fingers over the man's exposed skin experimentally. "I really did think you might be _dying_ when I saw it.. I..I think that's why I was so damned _mad_.." He shook his head, snorting at himself. "I was _scared_ , and then you said it wasn't yours, and I thought.. I was angrier with myself than I was with you, I felt so stupid.." He stopped, biting his lip in awkward embarrassment. "I'm sorry," He whispered, averting his eye. "For what I said, I should have let you finish."

Tyki caught his head, turning him back. "You had no reason to think otherwise, Lavi. Don't be upset for coming to a logical conclusion, even if it was the wrong one." He used his hold to pull the boy down, pressing their lips together as he resumed his ardent strokes on the skin of his back and hip. Taking advantage of the Exorcist's quick gasp, he deepened the kiss, toeing off his shoes as best he could without breaking the contact.

After a long moment, he pulled back, breathing quickly. "You have to get off of me, Lovely." He murmured, nudging him gently. The boy frowned mutinously, shaking his head.

"Tyki..." He growled warningly. The older man laughed at his stubborn expression, shifting his weight.

"Oh, I'd much rather have you right here, but it's _terribly_ difficult to take off one's pants with a lap full of pouting lover." Lavi blinked at him, coloring slightly.

"Oh. Right. I thought you meant something else, sorry." He slid back reluctantly, fidgeting in a way that made the man's hands itch to touch his bare skin. Rising to his knees, Tyki jerked impatiently at his remaining clothing, mentally cursing whoever had seen fit to invent the evil that was pants. Tugging down the zipper, he pushed the offending garment to his knees, sitting down to kick them off. Tossing them away with a final glare, he turned his attention back to the still-seated Exorcist.

"Now, as I was saying.." He reached for the boy, pulling him back to his perch with smirk. "I really _would_ have rather kept you here, Lovely.. You're _very_ warm, are you feeling unwell?" He rubbed small circles on the skin of the redhead's thighs, smiling wickedly at his sharp whimper.

"Is something wrong, Lavi? You have the strangest look on your face.." He leaned in, licking across the boy's collarbone. "Gods, but you _are_ delicious.. I wonder why you taste so good." His hands moved higher, settling firmly against the other's naked hips. "Are you still sure of your choice, Lovely? You're shaking like this frightens you."

Lavi shook his head, sliding closer to the man's chest. "I'm sure," He said, closing his eye with a shivering breath. "It's just.." He paused, tracing the line of the older man's nape with his fingers. "I want you _so_ bad," He blurted, wincing. "It wasn't like that, before. Even when you were _trying_ to make me want it, it didn't feel like this does."

Tyki blinked, startled at his admission. "Of course, Lovely. Even if you _knew_ it would feel good, you didn't want it, did you? It's not nearly the same as this, when you decide to have me on your own terms. _Everything_ will be like that.. Better, because you want it." He paused, realizing that the younger boy had honestly chosen to allow his touch. "Oh, God." He whispered, pulling the confused Exorcist tightly to himself. "You didn't know that.. You really.. You didn't _lie_."

He stopped the boy's impending question with his mouth, ignoring the useless stinging behind his closed eyelids. As if he could sense the man's distress, Lavi decided to forego the momentarily unnecessary inquiry, concentrating on the near-desperate touches from the other male. Recalling the urgency he'd shown when he'd mistaken the boy's intentions before, Lavi returned his attentions eagerly, shaking with the force of his own need.

Pulling back to speak, he kept his arms tight around the man's body, silently giving proof to his sincerity. "Please, Tyki. I _want_ you, don't make me wait.." He gasped at the older man's quiet shudder, the hands on his back sliding down to pull him firmly against the other's obvious arousal.

Looking around hurriedly, Lavi caught sight of the small jar still present on the nearby table. Nudging the man's face up, he indicated the object with a jerk of his head. "I have to move, a little.. We're going to need _something_ , and that should be just _fine_."

The older man blinked at him for a moment, then nodded. Lavi took note of his wide eyes, mildly surprised at their deep grey hue. Before, they'd been a tawny brown, or an eerie copper-gold, but now they were nearly black, the innermost shade a rich pewter encircled by a darker ring that blended almost completely with his dilated pupils.

Shaking off his bemusement, the Exorcist rose to his knees, leaning awkwardly over to retrieve the jar. Returning to his seat, he faced the shaken man squarely, holding the ointment in his palm. "Tyki..? Why are you looking at me like that? Are you all right?"

Tyki nodded, taking the proffered jar with one hand while catching the boy's jaw with the other, pulling him down for a demanding kiss. He released his hold, opening the container and setting it aside as he continued to tease the Exorcist's mouth, ignoring the slight tremor of his hands. Leaning back, he urged the boy to his knees, steadying him with a hand on his hip while he coated his fingers with the jar's contents. "Hold onto me, Lovely," He murmured, easing his hand between them carefully. "This may be uncomfortable, for a moment." He waited for the redhead's arms to find a place on his shoulders, his slickened fingers pressing gently into his body as he tightened the hold on the other's skin.

Feeling the boy's quick gasp, he stroked his side reassuringly, urging him to lean against his chest. "Relax, Lavi.. I promise not to hurt you, not if I can help it. All I want to do right now is make you feel good, please?" Lavi nodded slightly, resting his face on the older man's shoulder with a soft whimper. Though initially painful, the feeling of the man's fingers within him was hopelessly arousing, the discomfort far overshadowed by the sharp burn of pleasure that came from his movements. He moaned quietly, turning his face into the older man's neck.

"Oh, God.." He whispered, pushing back against the man's hand. "It's..It feels so good, I don't think.." He broke off, crying out as the brunette curled his fingers, his eye widening in surprise at the unfamiliar intensity of the sensation. "Why is it like that?! It wasn't.. _Tyki!_ " He felt the man's quiet laugh against his chest, raising his head to catch his amused smile. "Don't laugh, it's your fault!" He glared unconvincingly at the man's falsely innocent expression. "You did that on purpose!"

Tyki smiled, repeating the motion gently. "Indeed," He heard the boy's breathless moan, watching avidly as his face twisted in pleasure. "And I think you liked it. Does it feel good, Lovely? You said that it makes you want to come..Do you?" Lavi nodded rapidly, shifting his hips.

" _Yes!_ I want it, please stop teasing!"

The man's arm wrapped around his waist, holding him tightly in place as he continued his slow movements. "Oh, I'm not teasing at all, Lavi. If you like it so much, I can't see any reason to deny you. Are you really in such a hurry?"

He nodded again, growling impatiently. "Yes, dammit! You _know_ I am, so either do me or move your hand and I'll do it myself!"

Tyki laughed, licking at the side of his throat. "Really? Well, as interesting as that sounds, I think I'd much rather do as you say.. Do you want it like this? It's _very_ different than what we've done before, you may not like it.." He smiled at the boy's terse nod, carefully withdrawing his fingers. Reaching into the small container, he scooped a generous amount of the salve into his palm, sliding his hand back into the space between their bodies. He covered himself quickly, spreading the remainder on the boy's skin.

Suddenly nervous, he used his free hand to push the boy away slightly, reaching up to cup the back of his neck. "Please tell me that you want this, Lovely. Just once more?"

Seeing his inexplicable anxiety, Lavi nodded. "I want you. Even if you won't let me leave, I still want you." The man's fingers tightened, his grip still careful on the Exorcist's lightly kiss-marked skin.

"You have _no idea_ how much I hope you mean that, Lavi.. But I'll explain it to you when it makes sense to me." He pulled his head down, catching his mouth as he moved his hands to his hips, pressing him back against the hardness that awaited him. Feeling the boy gasp against his lips, he held him tightly as he urged him to relax.

Guiding him down, he forced himself to be patient, moaning quietly as the boy shifted his weight. "Please, Lovely," He whispered, rocking upward shakily. "Take your time, but _please_ move.." Lavi nodded, clinging to the man's shoulders.

"I'm all right..It's just..!" He froze, gasping quickly when the older man sucked gently on the skin of his neck, his tongue soothing the sting of his previous bites as he lifted his hips. "God, _Tyki_!" The man nodded against his throat, interspacing his words with heated kisses that only fueled the Exorcist's desperation.

"I told you, didn't I? It's not the same, especially if it's something you _want_ , Lavi. This is close to what I would have done, that first time.." He trailed off, feeling the boy shiver. "I..I'm sorry," He murmured, internally horrified at himself. "I shouldn't have.. I didn't mean to say that." Looking up, he caught the redhead's eye. "You should hate me, Lovely."

Lavi shook his head, tightening his arms. "It's the same," He said, biting his lip to contain a moan. "You have as much right to..hate.. _oh, yes.._ " His eye closed as he leaned into the man's chest, his legs suddenly weak when the other's hand's stroked the skin of his back. " _Please_ don't make me stop, you feel so good.. " He arched into the touch, his movements wringing a stifled cry from the man beneath him.

Blinking in surprise, he repeated the motion, gasping when the older man's hands caught his waist with barely-contained urgency. Feeling the shiver that wracked the man's body, he smiled. "Is that right, Tyki?" He turned his face slightly, his words muffled by the other's skin as he licked him. "Mm.. You don't taste so bad yourself."

Tyki nodded, still holding the Exorcist's waist carefully. "It's _wonderful_ , Lavi.. But I don't know if it's such a good idea." He rocked upward to meet the boy's slow descent. "It makes me want more, and I don't want to hurt you." Lavi moaned quietly, tightening his arms around the man's back.

"Whatever you want is _fine_ , Tyki! Don't worry about it, just tell me what you need, please?" He changed his pace, moving against the older man purposefully. "If it isn't good enough, tell me what's..!" He broke off, his voice sticking in his throat as the brunette's hands moved, one leaving his waist to push firmly against his back.

"Stay close, Lovely," He hissed, relishing the boy's pleading whine. "I want as much of you as I can get, right now." His arm wrapped around the Exorcist's hips, pulling him down roughly. "Tell me if I hurt you, Lavi. I wanted to let you do this, but you're driving me _mad._ " He held the startled boy tightly against him, shifting his legs beneath himself. Rising to his knees, he laughed when the redhead's legs clenched eagerly around his waist. "I won't drop you, Lovely. But still, hold tight."

He moved his arm away from the boy's back, supporting himself as he leaned forward. Letting gravity pull him down, he laid the other on the carpet, thankful for it's plushness. "Look at me," He said, nudging the boy's face up. "Let me see how I make you feel, Lovely." He lifted the Exorcist's hips, watching him closely as he moved. "If you're going to be staying here, I want to learn _everything_ that pleases you."

Lavi nodded wordlessly, allowing the man to lean close. He kept his grip on the other's waist despite his renewed shivers, moaning brokenly when he moved _just enough_ to press against his most sensitive place. "Please..! You've got plenty of time for that, don't worry about it now!" He arched upward beseechingly, catching the man's shoulders and yanking him down. "Don't play with me! I want you _now_ , dammit!"

Tyki laughed, letting himself be moved. "Goodness, Lovely.. So impatient, but that suits you." He increased his pace, panting quietly at the younger boy's impassioned cries. " _Yes,_ it most _definitely_ suits you. Are you close, Lavi? It feels like you are.." The Exorcist's grip tightened, urging him on with a shaky nod.

" _God_ yes. Please don't stop, I think..!" He gasped, his fingers digging into the man's skin almost painfully. "Right there! _Harder!_ Please let me come!" The older man growled against his throat, nodding rapidly.

"Oh, I intend to, Lavi. I absolutely _love_ how it feels when you do, you wouldn't believe me if I told you how good it is." He slid a hand beneath the boy's lifted hips, raising him higher as he drove into him urgently. "I want it," He said, sucking hard on the mark he'd left on the redhead's skin. "I want that, _right now._ Give it to me, Lovely."

Lavi moaned sharply, his movements near desperate as he struggled to comply. "Take it, then! Please, just.. _Aah.! Tyki!_ " He bucked, unable to continue over the shaking tension in his muscles. The older man gasped into his neck, holding him close as he bit down on the boy's shoulder with enough force to break the skin, his howl of release muffled by the flesh and blood against his lips. Lavi arched up with a ragged scream, his arms and legs locked around the man's body as his own climax left him stunned with it's intensity.

Panting with exertion, Tyki pulled away from the Exorcist's throat, wiping his mouth in horrified dismay. "Gods, Lavi! Are you all right? I didn't.. Oh, God, I'm _sorry_!" He shoved himself up to one arm, pressing his other hand to the bleeding wound he'd made. "I didn't mean to! I wasn't.. Oh, _no._ "

He stared down at the boy's shaking form, ignoring the _other's_ quiet murmur of contentment in his mind, it's voice sated and fading. "Lavi? Please, I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't.." He urged the redhead to turn, moving away from him with a hiss. "I'm so sorry, Lovely. I should never have let you.. Are you _laughing?_ " He shook his head in disbelief, his mouth closing with an audible snap as he stared at the Exorcist's growing hilarity.

Lavi nodded faintly, wincing at the sharp sting. "It's fine," He said, his laughter tapering off to stilted chuckles. "I told you I didn't care, I know you didn't mean to." He leaned up, rubbing at a faint smear on the other's lip with his thumb. "It's funny, because it _hurt_ , and it should have scared the _shit_ out of me, but it didn't.. Just knowing that you felt _that_ good was enough to make it worth it, Tyki."

He snorted at the man's bewildered expression, clearing his throat to hide the noise. "Really, it's fine. Don't worry about it, I've had a _lot_ worse than that. Hell, _you_ knocked me through a _roof_. Wadded me up like a piece of paper, too. _That_ was about a hundred times worse than _this._ "

Ignoring the dull throb in his neck, he lifted his head, catching the older man's mouth. Licking the corner of his lip, he shivered at the faint taste of copper. "I just came so hard that I thought I was going to pass _out_ , Tyki. Do you _really_ think I give an honest fuck about a little _bite_?"

Tyki blinked at him, raising an eyebrow. "You _liked_ it? Lovely, you are truly a strange person.. But I'll have to remember that, if you enjoy it so much." He rose to his knees, bringing the still-grinning Exorcist with him. "As pleasant as this is, I believe you should let me see to that, and perhaps you should bathe? I'm going to need something for you to wear, also. Scampering around in nothing but one of my shirts is a good way to have yourself ravaged, Lovely."

The boy snorted at him, shaking his head. "I don't _scamper_. And besides that, I severely doubt I could get into your pants, Tyki." He waved off the older man's speculative look. "You _know_ what I mean! You're taller than me, asshole!" He scowled at the quiet amusement on the other's face. "If you're done sniggering at me, do you think I could take a look at my oh-so-terrible hickey? I think it's best if I'm not getting blood on everything, you might go crazy and try to _eat me_."

He brushed past the laughing man, shaking his head in mock annoyance. "Just great," He muttered, entering the room's bathing chamber. "Now there's _two_ people to make bad jokes. It must be my Karma.." He leaned close to the mirror, taking stock of the shallow wound on his shoulder. Turning on the water, he cupped his hand to catch the cool liquid, splashing his face with a soft hiss. "I must be losing my mind," He whispered to himself. "I should be disgusted with myself, but.." He glanced toward the doorway, watching the older man busy himself with taking clothes from the armoire. ' _Why don't I hate this? Hate Him? Why was I so afraid when he came back?_ '

He shook his head, forcing away the thought. Looking closely at himself, he wrinkled his nose faintly. "Yeah, _definitely_ taking a bath.." Closing his eye, he sighed. _'What the hell happened to him, back there? He's never looked like that, did I do something to him?'_ He shivered, remembering the man's nearly frightening reaction to what he'd done. _'Was that really what he needed? Just to have me **want** him? Why would it matter, when he could have anybody..?'_

He frowned, looking again at the confusing man in the bedroom. As if sensing his stare, Tyki turned to face him, his expression still faintly amused. "Something wrong, Lavi? It's a bit late for second thoughts, after all.." He walked to the doorway, unconcerned by his nudity. "Do you want to take your bath here? I won't touch you, if that's what you're afraid of." His voice was light, but something about the way he spoke the words alarmed the younger boy.

"No, I was just.." He trailed off, at a loss. ' _I was just what? Wondering why I still don't want to leave, when I should be kicking and screaming like a two year old?'_ He forced a laugh, shaking his head. "I didn't know if you wanted me to go to my own room. I'd be fine here, if you don't mind." He glanced behind himself, walking over to start the water in the spacious bathtub. "Shouldn't you take one too? You've got a little.. Er.." He gestured vaguely at the other's stomach, wincing.

Tyki nodded solemnly, looking down at himself. "Indeed. Perhaps I should join you, Lovely?" He smiled at the boy's sudden flush. "I wonder why that flusters you so.. You certainly didn't mind before.." He shook his head, waving a hand at the Exorcist's indignant huff. "I can wait, Lavi. See to yourself, you should be able to find everything that you need." He turned to leave, pausing at the redhead's quick grip on his wrist. "Was there something else?"

Lavi glared up at him, his face still tinged with embarrassment. "Don't you _move_." He said, jerking the astonished man back. "I'm not sure what you're thinking, but I meant what I said. Now stop looking at me like that and _get in that tub._ "

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Hmm, third time's the charm, maybe.. As always, let me know if there should be more, I hope someone likes it well enough to comment XD


	4. Fateful Night

NG4 - Fateful Night  
Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 4 - Fateful Night

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And in addition to that:  
Dear Fangirls: I would just like to say, fuck everyone who faves or alert adds without leaving a review, no matter how brief. Srsly, Fuk u with a pigpen fencepost. Now on with the fic.  
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After drying himself off, Lavi decided that maybe he should hold off on questioning the mental state of his 'captor'. When he'd basically forced the man into the bath, Tyki had given him another of those surprisingly wide-eyed stares, but allowed himself to be pushed firmly in the direction of the tub. The Exorcist ignored the feeling of unease at the sight of the former Noah's scraped back, reminding himself that the man _had_ bitten him.

When he'd joined the older man in the slightly too warm water, he'd found himself almost nose to nose with him, the man's arms holding the edges on either side of his body as he leaned close. His eyes had remained the strange deep grey that had alarmed the boy previously, and the oddly human coloring had caused him to wonder anew at exactly _what_ his actions had wrought.

Seeing his anxiety, the older man had winced, turning quickly to inspect the wound he'd made on the smaller male's shoulder. Wordlessly, Lavi had inclined his head, allowing him to see that the bloodflow had stopped. Seeming satisfied, he'd pulled back, handing the boy a washcloth with a faint smile. Tending to his own skin, he'd almost ignored his companion, only speaking when he'd asked the other if he would mind handing him a particular bottle of shampoo.

Lavi glanced toward the room's far end, watching the older man with curious wonder as he tugged restlessly at the hem of yet another borrowed shirt, this one a deep purple that bordered on indigo. While he'd been right that the taller man's pants would be far too long, he'd been almost pleasantly surprised when Tyki rummaged through his armoire, muttering softly to himself before emerging with a pair of pants that resembled the one's he'd slept in before. Even though they were obviously sized for a taller person, they'd fit well enough to be comfortable, and the Exorcist had been forced to admit that the room felt much warmer with the soft material to cover him.

The older man had even seen to his feeding, leaving the room for only a moment before re-entering with a tray of various foodstuffs and a pitcher of what seemed to be cold tea. When Lavi had invited him to join his meal, he'd refused, saying that he didn't feel particularly hungry at the moment. Since then, he'd busied himself at the desk where he still sat, producing a pair of wire-framed reading glasses completely unlike the heavy ones that Lavi remembered him wearing. He sifted quietly through a stack of papers, the soft rustling noise breaking the silence of the room.

Lavi sat on the bed, growing steadily more impatient. Stretching his arms above his head, he sighed quietly. _'I may as well do something,'_ He thought, rising to his feet. _'It's not like he'll bite my head off or anything..'_ He crossed the room, trying to appear as casual as possible as he neared the man's seat. Leaning forward carefully, he laid his chin on the other's shoulder, humming curiously. Tyki inhaled sharply, casting a surprised look at the boy.

"I'm sorry, for a moment.." He shook his head, turning to face the confused Exorcist. "Is something wrong, Lovely?" He reached up, removing his glasses with one hand. Folding them carefully, he placed them in a narrow drawer, rubbing the bridge of his nose. Lavi waited for him to finish, sinking to his knees beside the chair.

"No, not really. I just wondered what you were doing. You've been sitting here for _hours_ , aren't your eyes tired?" The older man frowned, reaching into a small opening in the desktop. Pulling out an ornately fashioned pocketwatch, he flipped open the lid with a hum of displeasure.

"My apologies, Lavi. I hadn't realized it was so long.. You're surprisingly patient, for someone who was ignored for almost an entire evening." He made to rise, waiting for the younger boy to move. "I fear you'll find my company somewhat lacking, Lovely. I've been here alone for quite some time, so the silence really doesn't bother me." He nodded at the scattered papers. "I tend to occupy myself with these to pass the time."

Lavi shook his head, raising a curious eyebrow. "Don't worry about it..What are they?" Tyki laughed quietly, stretching until his back popped with a slightly painful sound.

"An evil greater than any of my brethren." He laughed again at the Exorcist's surprised expression. "They're letters, Lavi. The Earl managed to amass quite a bit of money, through whatever means, but he never saw fit to account for his bills." His nose wrinkled distastefully. "Also, he did his best to intrude into the higher levels of society, hence letters requesting his, and now _my_ presence at this function or that. I never attend, but it would be rude to ignore the invitation altogether. I respond with completely insincere regrets, usually close to the date of the event." Lavi snickered quietly at the man's obvious aversion.

"Not much of a party animal, eh? I wouldn't have guessed." Tyki frowned at his weak attempt to hide his laughter.

"I stopped considering myself as human quite some time ago, Lovely. I have no place at the homes of these deluded people. Most of them have availed themselves to the Earl's power at one time or another, and I'd rather not associate with them, in case they believe me capable of the same deeds." He shook his head, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully. "I honestly believe that a few of them may even think that my presence would give them an opportunity to present their marriageable children. It wouldn't be unheard of, since it's happened at least twice that I know of."

Lavi collapsed, clutching his stomach as he howled with laughter. "S..stop! Oh, that's just _great_! Twice? Wait, give me a minute..!" He wiped his eye briefly, waving his hand weakly at the man's frown. "I'm sorry, I just keep picturing you, looking at this.. _oh, God_..girl with this _horrible_ expression..!" He rocked gently, still holding himself as he laughed. "Do..do you even _like_ women?"

The older man sighed, sinking to the floor beside him. "Lovely, I was the Noah of Pleasure. I liked _everyone_." For some reason, this response spurred the boy's glee to a new level, his eye closed tightly as he motioned for the man to stop. Tyki waited for his hilarity to subside, raising an eyebrow at him when he cleared his throat. "Are you finished? I was starting to wonder if you remembered to breathe, Lovely."

The boy nodded, taking a breath. "That just _killed_ me. It must have been _so_ awkward, trying to tell those people off without making anyone mad."

Tyki snorted, shaking his head. "You have _no_ idea, Lavi. Sometimes I wonder if having wealth deteriorates the brain." He smiled, looking closely at the boy's amused face. "At least it wasn't a _total_ loss. The rich have rather.. _exotic_ ways of passing the time." He laughed quietly, rising to his feet and offering the other his hand. "Besides your enjoyment of my past suffering, was there anything you'd like to do, Lovely? The evening isn't _quite_ finished, it's only about nine. Do you have any hobbies, things you like to occupy yourself with?"

Lavi took his hand, pulling himself up. "All I've really tried is reading, since learning things is pretty much why I'm in the Order in the first place.. They have a _huge_ library." He frowned at the older man, curious. "Isn't there anything that _you_ do? You can't just sit and do nothing, right?" The former Noah nodded.

"Sometimes I read, or other things. I do a lot of thinking, now." He raised an eyebrow at the boy's expression. "I told you, Lovely. I've been here for a while, and I don't exactly like the idea of talking to myself. There's not much to do, besides those things one can do alone."

Lavi nodded slowly. "Isn't it lonely? You left this morning, didn't you at least _talk_ to anyone?" He frowned at the older man's negative. "Well, that's done. Pretty much anyone who knows me would tell you that I _never_ shut up."

Tyki looked heavenward, smirking. "I don't think I need to give that a response, actually."

The Exorcist snorted quietly. "Right. If you're done being _clever_ , we could maybe think of something to do that doesn't involve me talking or you brooding." He ignored the man's raised eyebrow, walking past him to sit on the bed again. "How about _I_ be quiet, and _you_ talk? You were going to tell me some things anyway, weren't you?"

He nodded, taking a seat beside the other male. "What would you like to know, Oh Brave Scholar? There really isn't a lot to tell, besides what you already know." Lavi's eye narrowed, his expression stubborn.

"Do you really need me to ask, Tyki? All right, then.. First, do you _really_ want me to stay here? You aren't getting a lot out of it, why would you keep someone here that's only going to bother you?"

The man's face grew serious, his gaze direct. "I told you, didn't I? I and my _other_ , we both want you here. _It_ wanted to keep you long before you made your offer, Lovely." He leaned close, ignoring the boy's slight gasp at his sudden movement. " _I_ want you here because you make me curious. Do you not want to stay, now?" He sighed at the redhead's wordless stare. "You should have taken more time to think of your position, Lavi.. I wouldn't have let myself harm you, had you refused me."

Lavi shook his head, alarmed at the quiet regret in the man's voice. "I didn't mean it like that! I said what I meant, Tyki. I didn't.. I told the truth, about everything. I know it's a stupid thing, but I still don't think you have to _be_ like this. Whether you think so or not, you're pretty damn human to me." He bit his lip, looking away. "You wouldn't let the Order help you, I know that.. Will you let _me_ try? Maybe there's something I can do, even if it's just to listen.."

The man blinked at him in surprise. "There's nothing to be done, Lovely. What you see is what I am, now." He moved to meet the boy's doubtful look. "The other parts of me, they aren't going to just leave, Lavi. Truthfully, I don't know if I want them to, they're all that's left of.." He shook his head, leaving the statement unfinished. "It doesn't matter. I won't let any of _that_ stop me from doing as I please."

He leaned even closer, raising a hand to the Exorcist's shirtfront. Pulling him forward, he took advantage of the boy's momentary stillness, catching his mouth with his own. Feeling his shiver of anxiety, he kept his movements careful, urging the other to respond with a questioning noise against his lips. Lavi nodded faintly, allowing the man to deepen the kiss. His hands shook slightly, but rose to take hold of the older man's own at his collar.

Leaning back, he tugged on his grasping fingers, moving them away from their place. Still returning the man's cautious attentions, he threaded their hands together, ignoring the quiet sound that met his actions. Pulling back to breathe, he studied the other's face carefully, noting the almost hopeful confusion in his expression.

"I'm not finished with the question, but there's plenty of time for you to answer, isn't there?" He smirked at the man's wary nod. "Right. Other than that, was there something you wanted to know? You look like you've got something on your mind, Tyki."

The former Noah smiled, a slight tilt of the lips that made the boy hold his breath. "Actually, there is something.." He bent his head, invading the Exorcist's space. "Do you have another _you_ in there? You're extremely pleasant when you're not screaming and kicking, Lovely." Lavi choked back a laugh, shaking his head.

"No, it's just me. I don't see any reason to act like that right now, since you wouldn't be kissing me if I were." Tyki's eyes widened at his statement, his fingers tightening minutely in the boy's grip.

"Lavi, you're talking yourself into trouble again." The redhead did laugh then, his tone teasing.

"Oh, that's nothing. I usually don't even _need_ to say anything, trouble just follows me, I think." He leaned forward, lifting his face. "Maybe I should be nice and wait for it to catch up."

The older man accepted his silent offer eagerly, closing what little distance separated them with a possessive kiss. Avoiding the wound on the boy's shoulder, he moved his lips to the side of his throat, humming in agreement when the Exorcist hissed. "You won't have long to wait, Lovely.. But I don't think it's wise to continue this, you need time to heal." He smirked at the other's indignant huff. "Are you really so eager, Lavi? I'm sure there's _something_ I can do to ease your impatience.."

Feeling the redhead's slight nod, he moved closer, pushing him down as he resumed his exploration of the skin against his lips. Tugging his hand free, he caught the boy's hip, stroking down his leg until he reached his knee. Pulling his head back, he nipped at the lobe of his ear. "Do you want it, Lovely? I won't take you, but there's something I'd love to do if you'll let me.."

Lavi shivered, his breath catching at the feeling of the man's hand moving up the inside of his thigh with deliberate slowness. " _Please.._ " He closed his eye tightly, embarrassed at his own response to the other's touch. "You don't have to do anything," He mumbled, keeping his face averted. "I can wait until I'm not too.. _Tyki!_ " He gasped, arching up sharply as the older man cupped his palm over his suddenly urgent arousal. "Wait! It's not fair to you, is it? Don't you want to..!"

Tyki cut him off with a kiss, this one lacking the tentative quality of the first. "To Hell with ' _fair_ ', Lovely. The only thing I want right now is your permission." Lavi nodded shakily, unnerved by the flecks of gold in the man's angular eyes.

"If.. If that's what you want.. Are _they_ bothering you, Tyki?" He bit his lip, steadying his voice. "It doesn't matter if they are, just.. Do what you want to do." Tyki shook his head, moving to rest between the boy's open legs.

"It isn't that, Lavi. Even if the other wanted you, I'd wait. What _it_ wants doesn't matter anymore." He bent close, forcing the Exorcist to meet his gaze. "You're not _theirs_ , Lovely. You're _mine_."

Lavi stared up at him in surprise, recognizing the now-familiar color of his eyes. All hints of the unnatural yellow were gone, leaving only the deep charcoal-grey that still confused him. "Yes," He whispered, at a loss for words. "Just yours. That's what I wanted."

Tyki nodded, sinking down to cover the boy's body with his own. "I never had any intention of sharing, Lavi. You told me not to let them force me, so when I took you before, that was only me. You didn't give yourself to _us,_ you gave yourself to _me_." He pressed close, holding himself on one elbow. " _They_ may try to encourage me, Lovely.. But the only one who's going to have you is _me_."

Lavi shuddered, lifting his knees to enclose the older man. Raising his hips invitingly, he wound his arms around the other's neck, tugging him down. "That's fine," He said, proud that his voice stayed firm. "Because that makes you _mine_ , doesn't it?" Tyki allowed himself to be moved, sighing contentedly at the Exorcist's quiet murmur of appreciation.

"As you will, Lovely.. Though I believe that _I'm_ getting the better end of the bargain." He caught the boy's mouth again, rocking his hips forward teasingly. Feeling his wordless moan against his lips, he slipped a hand under the redhead's body, pulling him up as he continued to move with tightly-controlled intensity. Lifting his head only as far as he needed to breathe, he nibbled at the boy's kiss-swollen lower lip, smiling darkly at the short whine that met his ears. "You should be careful, Lavi. There's something about that _sound_ that makes me want to hear it again.."

Lavi shook his head faintly, struggling to put words to the jumble of his thoughts. "I can't help it," He managed, breathing hard. "You just feel.. and I _want_.. I don't know what's _wrong_ with me." He laughed at himself, half in anxiety. "Maybe it's just delayed shock, or whatever. Don't worry about it, I still mean what I said."

Tyki frowned, lifting himself to catch the boy's eye. "Don't let me do this if it troubles you, Lovely. That would defeat the purpose of what you meant to do." He leaned back, intending to give the Exorcist more space, but the other's arms prevented his retreat.

"Don't! What I meant to do and what I want to do are the same thing.. I just don't know if I'm going to be able to make any difference." He relaxed his tight hold, but didn't remove his hands. "Do you really want to be here by yourself, Tyki? You could have left, if you wanted to. Why are you still here?" The older man blinked down at him in surprise, but halted his attempts to move away.

"Where else would I go, Lavi? This place is better than out there, where _they_ may cause me to do something out of anger or boredom. As for being by myself, it's the same.. If something went wrong, I would most likely kill anyone that stayed too close." He regarded the boy's pained expression calmly. "I could bring you to grief, Lovely. Keeping you here was _my_ folly long before you set yourself to remain."

Lavi frowned, twisting his fingers into the ends of the man's hair. Quelling his nervousness, he sighed. "You said you wouldn't. Everything else you told me was true, so I don't see any reason that _that_ should be different." He took a breath, ignoring the catch in his voice. "Anything you've done was the same. I don't understand what happened, but haven't you had that _thing_ urging you on? It wanted you to do this?"

The man laughed shortly, causing him to jump. "Not entirely, Lovely. I thought about making your comrades pay, but the _other_ was only giving a suggestion. I decided to do _this_ after only a bit of thinking. That's another part of my mistake, I chose to commit an atrocity against a total stranger in place of a group. Your presence was merely a coincidence, Lavi. If I hadn't seen you when I did, it may have been someone else. The decision to use your body was more mine than the other's."

Lavi shivered. "If it'd been somebody else, would you have.." He paused, forgoing the obvious question. "So, the idea was there, and the opportunity? That's why you did this, because you felt like being selfish? You aren't making much sense, Tyki. What I've seen of you isn't really like that! Even when we fought you, you never acted particularly _evil_! Why did you let _them_ make you act like that? Your _reasons_ aren't even all wrong! It's the _method_ that's the problem!" He loosened his fingers, aware of his tightening grip. "Explain it to me! Why would you even _want_ to do it? What good would it have done, you only hurt _yourself_!"

Tyki looked away quickly, his reply soft. "I wanted to have something," He murmured. "I thought that having you would allow me to regain something of what was lost. There was nothing more than that, it wasn't completely my idea. I saw you, and I took my chance. I'm not _that_ good of a person, Lavi. There's nothing more to explain."

The redhead let out a shaky sigh. "You never told me what it was that you wanted back, Tyki. All you said to me was that you were going to take everything away, so that I'd know how it felt." He ignored the man's quickly indrawn breath, closing his eye. "Now that you _have_ it, what else do you want? I can't undo what happened, even if I want to! I don't want to just leave it like that, not when you're.. Dammit, you're just the _other_ side! The Akuma were the enemy of one side, and the Order was the enemy of the other! Of _course_ you were all killing each other!"

He looked up, holding the alarmed man's stare. "It's _over_! Why would one person still have to fucking _wallow_ in misery when everyone else is just leaving it behind? How the _hell_ is that justice? It's _disgusting_ that you can't get on with your life, because you don't have anything to get on _with!_ Even after the bullshit ended, you've still got some _asshole_ stopping you from being what you _want_ to be! Did you choose the Noah, Tyki? The way I understand it, the damned thing just decided for you!"

He stopped, visibly collecting himself. "What I did for them was pointless, since they _claimed_ that all they wanted was for people to have peace and happiness. If _you_ can't be happy, then what about everyone else? The Order said it was for _everyone!_ "

Tyki opened his mouth to speak, but found that nothing would come out. He swallowed, trying again. "Lovely, you can't take responsibility for everything.. I already told you that there's no getting back what I lost." Lavi shook his head angrily.

"You told me before that you wanted your life and your family again! I took part of that, didn't I? Maybe the rest isn't my fault, but that is! If I hadn't _burned_ Rhode, Allen could have tried to save her, the same way he tried for _you_! Stop looking at me like that, you should have killed me when you were finished with me the first time! Keeping me here was just one more way for you to hurt yourself, and you didn't _deserve_ it!"

He jerked his hands away from the man's back, clenching his fists hard enough for his nails to break the skin. "Even my being here is hurting you! You haven't hurt me at all, you didn't do anything but make me feel so fucking good that I _crave_ it! Three times in two days, and right now I could just _die_ to feel like that again! _You're_ supposed to be using _me_ , Tyki!" The older man's eyes widened in astonishment at his outburst.

"Lavi, stop this! You're not using me, and your presence doesn't bring me pain. I _want_ you to be here, even if I don't know _why_! Ever since you let me touch you, I've tried to reason it out, but it doesn't make sense! All I know is that I _want_ to have you here. You said that I'm _yours_ , Lovely? That's enough! _That's_ what I want from you, so just let it be!"

The boy's eye widened in disbelief, his face pale enough for concern. "I..But..You can't!"

The older man laughed abruptly, cutting off is protests. "I can do anything I like, Lovely. You want to give me something to make up for my loss? Start with that, and we'll see if it _'makes me better'_ , hm?" He leaned back in, stopping only an inch from the boy's parted lips, giving him a clear view of his rapidly changing eyes. "My family _loved_ me, Lavi. Can you do that? _That's_ what I lost, when I lost them. You can give me that, if you're so worried about 'paying me back'."

Lavi gasped, pushing back against the mattress. "I'm sorry! I don't.. I _can't..!_ " His chest constricted in anxiety, choking off his breath. "I don't know _how!_ I'm not supposed to have any heart, Tyki! I can't give you something that I don't even _have_..!" He closed his eye, forcing down his panic. "Please don't ask me for something that isn't there. I've already given you all that there _is_ , why did you let me, if it wasn't going to be enough?"

Tyki bent even closer, speaking against the shaking Exorcist's mouth. "I let you because I _wanted_ it, Lovely. You told me that I should do what I wanted, so I took what you were willing to give. Right now, I can honestly say that I'd _love_ to have you, because you feel so much better when you're willing.." He pressed himself into the other's embrace, sighing in satisfaction when he felt the boy shudder in response. "I won't do that, though. I told you that you need to heal, but that _doesn't_ mean that I can't do _other_ things, in the meantime."

He licked teasingly at the Exorcist's lip, smiling at his soft whine. "I think you _want_ me to do something for you, Lovely. Even if you say it isn't fair, you still want it.. You just admitted that, so why would I deny you the thing you _'crave'?_ " He lowered a hand to the boy's waistband, tugging firmly on the loose material. "Before you let your _conscience_ get the better of you, you were acting like you wanted me.. Will you let me have you, Lavi?"

The younger boy shivered, nodding his head. "Anything you want, Tyki.. Just.. don't forget to keep _them_ out of it. The only one I want is _you_." He lifted his hips, allowing the man to pull down his borrowed pants. His voice was still tremulous, but he ignored the waver in it to continue. "I won't try to fight you, but please don't be.."

Tyki dropped the pants carelessly by the bed, waving his hand at the lights. They dimmed accordingly, the harsh brightness lessening into almost total darkness. Moving back into the space he'd left, he bent close enough to be heard over the boy's rapid breathing. "Don't be afraid, Lovely.. I told you I wouldn't share you with anyone, didn't I?" He stroked the Exorcist's face, catching his chin to turn him. "Look at me, Lavi. It's only me, can you really not see it?"

The redhead met his serious gaze, his eye adjusting to the dimmed light as he blinked. He expected to see yellow, from the intensity in the man's voice, but there was only grey. "I'm sorry," He whispered, relaxing slightly. "I thought I made you too mad.." Tyki shook his head, his expression softening.

"I'm not angry with you, Lovely. Even if I were, I wouldn't have done anything to hurt you." He leaned in briefly, pressing his lips to the side of the boy's mouth. "Stop worrying about things that no one can change. You can't change what you are, anymore than I can change what I am. Just remember one thing, none of the rest is important." He moved his hands, holding the other's face carefully. "Don't _ever_ say that to me unless you mean it. That's the one lie that you _never_ need to tell, no matter how much you think it would _'help'._ "

Lavi nodded quietly, storing away that information for later musing. "I promise."

Tyki hummed in agreement. "Good. It's not worth any further discussion, so.." He pushed up the boy's shirt, leaving his arms covered by the loose sleeves. Smiling at his confused expression, the older man bent his head slightly, licking the skin of his chest. "Mm. Perhaps I was mistaken, earlier.." He repeated the action, taking note of the Exorcist's shaky whimper. "Suddenly, I find myself absolutely _famished_."

Lavi tugged at his arms, fumbling with the awkward material that covered his hands. Pulling free, he caught the man's shoulders loosely, holding on without hampering his movements. He panted wordlessly at the other's skillful teasing of his nipple, his fingers tightening when the man's teeth pressed gently on the hardened skin. Tyki laughed quietly, stroking the boy's side with his fingers.

"Well, you aren't talking, and I'm not brooding, Lovely.. I suppose this fits your suggestion rather well." He slid back, following the line of a rib with his mouth. "This is by _far_ more interesting than polite correspondence, you should have spoken sooner." He held the redhead's lifted hips, dipping briefly into his navel. Feeling his legs tremble in response, he smiled against his skin. "Don't be so anxious, Lavi.. I promise not to bite you, not very hard, anyway."

Lavi gasped sharply, the sound catching with surprise as he felt the older man's breath on his skin. Arching up, he moaned brokenly at the sensation of the other's mouth on his inner thigh, leaving a trail of warm wetness behind it as he tightened his grip on the boy's hips. Holding him steady, he dragged his tongue over the tip of his erection, relishing the Exorcist's startled cry at the feeling.

Keeping his hands firm, he repeated the motion, moving back to reach more of his sensitive skin. Lavi released his shoulders, fisting his hands in the fabric beneath him as the older man opened his mouth, sucking on his aching flesh. " _Tyki!_ Oh, God..!" He bit his lip, closing his eye tightly in embarrassment. The former Noah hummed in amusement, the vibration sending a jolt of increased arousal up the boy's spine.

He kept his movements steady, holding the redhead's body still as he continued to tease him with gentle licks and the occasional press of teeth, both of which drew slightly wavering moans from the boy's mouth. Thoroughly enjoying his responsiveness, the older man sighed in satisfaction, strangely pleased at the other's obvious desire for his touch.

After several panting breaths, Lavi whimpered pleadingly, the man's torturous pace driving his urgency to desperate levels. Sensing his eagerness, Tyki intensified his efforts, ignoring the desire to simply take the shuddering boy. He pulled back, licking slowly up the Exorcist's tense thigh with a low murmur of appreciation. "Good, Lovely? It seems like you're enjoying yourself.." Lavi nodded rapidly, nonsensical sounds of agreement drawing a smile from the older man. "Would you like me to finish you, Lavi? You didn't want me to, before.."

The redhead moaned plaintively, lifting his hips as much as the other's hold would allow. "Please! I don't want you to stop, this is different than... _God!_ I want it, Tyki, _please_ let me..!"

The man sighed contentedly, nodding his head. Resuming his ministrations, he lapped at the boy's length in earnest, drawing him in as deeply as he could manage as he traced teasing designs on the heated skin. Lavi's cries reached a feverish pitch, his legs shaking as he struggled to follow the motions of the other's mouth. Tyki moaned at his pleas, feeling his own arousal spike sharply along with the boy's rising need. He noted the redhead's shaking muscles, urging him on with a questioning hum that drew a strangled exclamation from the other male.

_"Yes! Tyki!_ "

His back arched almost painfully, his body wracked with nearly convulsive shudders as he came, the older man's hands clenching on his skin as he took everything the boy had to offer. Feeling his shivers, he swallowed quickly, wiping his mouth carelessly on his sleeve. He leaned back, relaxing his tight grip in favor of stroking the sweat-dampened skin. "Is that better, Lovely? I must say, you certainly _are_ delicious.. Would you let me do it again sometime?"

Lavi blinked at him in confused wonder. "Are you _serious?_ What _idiot_ say no to that? It's not as good as.. _other_ things, but.." He flushed hotly at the man's raised eyebrow, averting his face with a quiet growl. "Don't look at me like that, I _know_ you think I'm stupid." His voice lowered, making the older man strain to make out his words. "Do whatever you want, Tyki. I already told you I won't fight, so just leave it at that."

He reached for his discarded shirt, ignoring the other's silent stare. "I'd return the favor, but I'm probably too _dumb_ to get it right." Donning the shirt, he leaned to retrieve the rest of his clothing, suddenly desperate to put distance between himself and the still-silent man. Tugging them on, he rose, speaking without looking back. "I'm going to sleep. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Tyki."

He made it almost to the door before a firm hand on his elbow brought him to a halt. Stiffening in alarm, he waited for the man to speak, resisting the urge to pull away. Tyki leaned close, his breath tickling the boy's ear.

"I never said you were _stupid,_ Lovely. I merely wondered if you enjoyed having me do that, since the first time upset you so badly.. I won't do it again, if it made you think of that." Lavi shivered, shaking his head.

"I let you, didn't I? It only bothered me then because you used it to prove a point. This was different, wasn't it?" He turned slightly, smirking. "It didn't remind me of that, I was too busy thinking about how good it felt to remember much of anything. Didn't it bother _you_ , to do it without getting anything for yourself?"

Tyki pulled him around, looking down at him seriously. "How do you know I _didn't_ , Lovely? It's rather satisfying to hear you scream my name when you come, perhaps that's all I needed. You're surprisingly vocal, Lavi."

Lavi flushed in embarrassment, glaring at the man's quiet laugh. "It isn't _that_ funny. If I'm too _noisy_ for you, you could always use a gag. If you're done making fun of me, could I _please_ go to bed? Unless there _is_ something you need, besides hearing me yell?"

Tyki smiled, making the younger boy's breath catch. "I'm not making fun of you, Lovely. But I certainly wouldn't refuse such a polite offer.." He bent his head, nuzzling against the Exorcist's neck. Wrapping an arm around his waist, he tugged him forward with a laugh. "I don't want anything from you, Lavi. You're more than welcome to do whatever pleases you, however."

Lavi shivered, tentatively catching the material of the older man's shirt. Turning his face, he winced slightly at the ache of his still-tender throat. "I..I don't know what to.." He trailed off, biting his lip in embarrassment. "Do you want me to do that for you? I wouldn't mind trying it, if.." Tyki hummed thoughtfully, his reply muffled by the other's skin.

"Only if you wish to, Lovely.. I'm _certainly_ not adverse to having your hands _or_ your mouth on me." He nibbled playfully at the boy's pulsepoint, smiling when he gasped. "Are you frightened, Lavi? I truly am sorry that I bit you, but you _did_ say that you liked it.."

The Exorcist shook his head, wincing again. "I told you, I don't care about that. Hell, maybe a little blood was enough to calm down your.. _Friend_ upstairs." He leaned back, meeting the older man's amused stare. "I really don't know what's wrong with me.. Even after.. _that_ , I still.." He sighed, closing his eye. "Maybe it's just wanting more of something good, in place of stuff that wasn't. Not having to be completely alert and wound up makes it different, I guess."

Tyki blinked at him, raising an eyebrow. "Different, Lovely? The only difference is in you, your willingness changes everything." He caught the boy's face in his hands, tilting his head back. "You hated to have me kiss you, didn't you? Does it still disgust you, Lavi?" Bending his head, he caught the redhead's mouth, noting his almost-instant response. Stroking his tongue over the other boy's lip, he coaxed him to deepen the contact with a teasing retreat into his own mouth. Lavi accepted his offer, following his movements with a soft whine.

Undeterred by the faint taste of himself, he pressed closer, allowing the older man to lead him back into the room. Tyki lifted his head, slightly out of breath.

"Is that different, Lovely? It doesn't seem to concern you now, but before you tried to bite me.." He laughed quietly at the boy's sorrowful expression, still guiding him steadily back toward the bed. "It was understandable, at the time. You also told me that you hated the way I felt, even though you physically enjoyed it.. I know it still _feels_ good to you, but do you detest it so much?"

Lavi shook his head faintly, his hands loosening on the man's shirt. "I told you I don't.. But I can't make sense of _wanting_ you like this." He frowned at the rising heat in his cheeks. "Even if it's different, I shouldn't _be_ like that, should I? I don't have anything to compare it to, to say that it's 'better' than something else.." He trailed off, looking away in discomfort. "It doesn't even matter that it would _hurt_ to do that, I still.. I'd let you, if you wanted it. That's why I think there's something wrong with me, because I shouldn't be hoping that you do."

He laughed, the sound slightly strained. "I really _do_ want to do something for you, Tyki. That's another thing that doesn't make any sense, why do I feel like I _need_ to, when I don't even know _how_?" The older man led him to the bedside, urging him down with a careful push.

"I don't think I could explain it to you, Lavi.. Wanting to please someone else, I can understand that myself, but having a _need_ to is frankly beyond me." He sat beside the confused Exorcist, moving back to rest against the headboard. "Come here, Lovely. Perhaps being closer will help you think, if it truly alarms you." He patted the space next to himself, raising an eyebrow questioningly at the other's hesitance. "I won't touch you, Lavi.. I never intended to ask you for anything, there's no reason for you to worry."

Lavi shook his head, sliding nearer. "It isn't that, Tyki. What worries me about being close is the fact that I _want_ you to touch me. You said you didn't want that, so _I_ don't want to push you."

The former Noah laughed softly. "You aren't pushing me at all, Lovely. Hearing you _say_ that is far more tempting that anything you could possibly _do_." He waited patiently as the boy settled himself beside him, sighing in contentment at the other's weight against his shoulder. "It could be interesting to test the depth of your sudden _obsession_ , when you're well enough to do so."

Lavi winced, averting his face. "I shouldn't have said anything at all. I'm glad you think it's _funny_ though."

Tyki shook his head, leaning around to catch his eye. "I'm not laughing at you, Lavi. I can assure you, if you continue to feel that way, I'll certainly be _more_ than happy to give you what you want." The man's deliberate statement brought a rush of images to the younger boy's attention, causing his breath to hitch in embarrassed arousal.

"Stop," He said, closing his eye tightly. "Don't say things like that, not when.. I should stay away from you, Tyki. Being here isn't helping at all, it's only making it worse." He started to slide away, but the older man quickly took hold of his wrist.

"Is it truly that bad, Lovely? Look at me." He turned the boy's face carefully, taking in his wide eye and flushed cheeks. "Goodness, you _are_ in a state, aren't you?" He bent close, catching the redhead's mouth with his own. Feeling his instant acceptance, he deepened the kiss, pulling the other fully around and against him. Lifting his head, he moved to the Exorcist's throat, murmuring against his pounding pulse. "Do you think I would leave you this way, Lavi? You should have known that I wouldn't.."

The younger boy shivered, gripping his arms tightly. "I didn't.. I.. Oh, _God_.." He trailed off, his hands rising to tangle into the older man's hair. "Please don't..!" The former Noah laughed softly, following the line of his jaw before pulling away.

"Don't _what_ , Lovely? I doubt that even _you_ know what you mean.." He stroked the Exorcist's back with his fingers, noting his shaking muscles with amusement. "Hm.. When you let go, you really let go, don't you, Lavi? I wonder if I should be flattered.." His hands wandered lower, tickling the sides of the redhead's waist. "Perhaps you still need something? I certainly wouldn't mind helping you see what it could be, unless you'd rather tend to the problem yourself..?"

Lavi stammered out a negative, leaning as far from the man as his hold allowed. " _No!_ You.. I'm not..!" Tyki followed, still mildly amused at the boy's sudden near-panic.

"But you _are_ , Lavi.. Shouldn't you make use of someone you call ' _yours_ ' to alleviate your discomfort?" He loosened his grip, easing the redhead backward. "I can almost _smell_ the need from you, did you know that? It's thick enough to cut with a knife, Lovely." The Exorcist gasped, his face rivaling the color of his hair.

"I don't _mean_ too! Something's _wrong!_ " He closed his eye, struggling visibly to collect himself. "It _hurts_..! Just hearing you _talk_ like that makes it worse! I can't _be_ here, Tyki, it's not right!" The older man slid his arm from beneath him, raising an eyebrow as he jerked away from the touch.

"You've changed your mind, Lavi? That _is_ unfortunate, being that I truly wish to keep you _exactly_ where you are.." He pushed the boy's knees apart with his own, leaning down to meet his gaze. "You're not fighting, do you _honestly_ regret your choice?"

Lavi shook his head, wincing at his tone. "That isn't what I meant! I meant _now_ , like _this_!" He bit his lip at the feeling of the man's breath on his skin, turning away. "I need to get away from you, it's driving me _crazy!_ " Tyki smiled, licking the now-exposed skin of his throat.

"What if I don't _want_ you to go? Will you keep your promise, Lovely?" He stroked the boy's side, catching his hip as he arched. "With you so _obviously_ unsatisfied, how could I spurn you? My only concern was for your comfort, but I could overlook that if you truly wished it, Lavi."

Lavi shuddered at his words, half-choking on his reply. " _Please_ don't let me use you!" He pressed back against the blanket, keeping the man at a distance. "Even if you _want_ to, that's what it is! _Don't!_ "

Tyki shook his head, his smile slightly wicked. "That _isn't_ what it is, Lavi. Do you have any idea what I think about it?" He bent close, watching the boy's eye widen. "I'll tell you exactly what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that I wish you healed as quickly as I do, so that I could _still_ be taking you. If I weren't so loathe to hurt you, I would never have stopped in the first place, Lovely."

Taking advantage of his surprised gasp, Tyki kissed him, his hand tightening on the Exorcist's lifted hip as he rocked against him firmly. "I haven't stopped wanting you since I brought you through the door, Lavi. Even before you allowed me, I thought to _convince_ you again." The redhead whimpered brokenly, reminded of the man's attempts at coercion.

"I don't think you would have _had_ to, if you'd stayed.." He looked away, mortified at his confession. "When I woke up, I..I wanted..I would have let you, if you'd been here. I wouldn't have said it, but I would have let you do it." He sighed quietly, the breath catching midway as the older man continued to move.

Tyki hummed appreciatively, lifting his body higher. "So it wasn't only to ' _save me'_ , Lavi? That just makes this better.. I'd rather have had you _decide_ than to have won your consent through _pity_ " Sliding his hand lower, he pushed at the waist of his pants, stroking the skin beneath them with gentle circular movements. "You still want that, don't you? Even if you _say_ that it's wrong, you want me to touch you regardless.. You really should be honest, I would have done what you wished of me, Lovely."

He smiled at the boy's halting nod, satisfied with his soft affirmative. Slowing his insistent motions, he rested his weight on his elbows, catching the other's face in his hand. "What is it that you need, Lavi? Is it more than what I'm doing, or more than what I _did_? All you have to do is ask.."

Lavi shivered, closing his eye with a moan. "I want you," He mumbled, arching into his touch. "It still isn't enough, _please_.." Biting his lip, he lifted his arms to the man's shoulders, tugging him down. "I'm sorry, I just.." Tyki laughed softly, shaking his head.

"Don't be _sorry_ , Lovely. I told you what _I_ wanted, didn't I?" He leaned in, pressing their mouths together. Growling quietly at the boy's eager response, he slid a hand beneath his head, holding him in place as he deepened the kiss. His opposite hand inched down the Exorcist's side, pushing up his borrowed shirt to touch the skin below it.

"My only regret is that it may be more than just discomfort, Lavi.. You may dislike me very much, come morning." The Exorcist shook his head, lifting his back to give the older man room to remove his shirt.

"I won't. You're only doing what I want you to do, Tyki." He shifted, gasping at the other's answering movement. "Feeling like _this_ is worse, I feel like I swallowed glass, like something's cutting me up on the inside.. But it isn't because of you, you didn't do this." Shugging off the shirt's loose sleeves, he pulled hesitantly at the older man's clothing. "Take it off? I..I want to feel you on me.."

Tyki nodded, rising to his knees. "By all means, Lovely. Do it yourself, if you wish."

Lavi pushed up to sit, reaching for the buttons with shaking fingers. "I _wish_ I wasn't like this. I don't want to make you do this, it still feels like I'm using you.." He unfastened the last button, waiting for the man to remove it. "Can I.. I mean, is it all right if..?" He winced, clearing his throat in embarrassment. "Is it okay for me to touch you?"

The older man blinked in surprise. "Why are you even asking, Lavi? You can do anything you like, I told you." He leaned forward, meeting the redhead's cautious fingers. "Don't be afraid of doing something wrong, Lovely. I doubt that _anything_ you do will be less than pleasant." Lavi nodded, lying his palms flat against the man's chest. Feeling the warmth of his skin beneath his hands, he moved lower, carefully tracing his ribs and stomach. Hearing his breath catch, he glanced up in alarm.

"I'm sorry, I didn't.. Tyki..?" He frowned in confusion, watching the older man's face closely. "Is it wrong? I don't know what to do, I thought.. It felt good when you did it to _me_ , so.."

The former Noah shook his head, letting out the breath he'd been holding. "It's _fine_ , Lavi. Better than fine, actually." He smiled at the boy's troubled expression. "Was there anything else? You're extremely anxious, for someone who wants this enough to be shaking." He raised an eyebrow curiously. "Why are you so afraid, Lovely? Do you think that I might harm you?"

Lavi shook his head, moving closer. "I know you won't, but.. I want to do this right, I just don't know if I can." He leaned in, using his hold to pull the older man forward. Taking a quick breath, he pressed his lips to the skin above his breastbone, moving his hands around to his back. Feeling his muscles tense, he opened his mouth, licking hesitantly over the place he'd kissed. Tyki murmured approvingly, urging him on with a hand against his head.

"It feels good, Lavi.. Again?" The younger boy nodded, repeating his movements across the width of the man's chest, his hands stroking the smooth skin of his back. Flushing slightly, he tightened his hold, drawing his tongue carefully across the other's nipple. Tyki moaned, pushing into the contact. "Gods, Lovely.. You probably shouldn't do that, I might have to cut short your wandering."

Lavi shook his head faintly, lapping at the hardened skin. Ignoring his growl, he sucked gently, still clutching firmly at his back. Feeling the man's quick shudder, he leaned away, looking up to catch his gaze. "Do what you have to, Tyki."

The older man nodded abruptly, pushing him back against the blankets. "You won't be needing these.." He said, tugging the boy's pants to his knees. Lavi kicked them off, reaching for him eagerly.

"You, too." He said, fumbling with the other's button and zipper. "Get rid of the damn things, please?" Tyki laughed, helping him with the fastening before sliding the garments off.

" _'Damn things'_ indeed. They _would_ be a hindrance, however.." He nudged the boy's knees impatiently. "Spread your legs, Lovely. I want to touch you." He moved into the space provided, taking hold of the redhead's hips. "Tell me if anything I do is painful, Lavi.. I can always find something better."

He lifted the boy's body higher, leaning in to press kisses to the skin of his arched throat. Feeling his anxious shiver, he murmured quiet reassurances, wordlessly reaching for the jar of ointment on the table. Working open the lid, he covered his fingers thoroughly, setting the remainder nearby. "Relax a bit, Lovely.. I don't want this to hurt you."

He lowered his hand between them, lifting himself for room. Finding the place he sought, he pressed his finger inward, wincing at the boy's persistent tightness. Ignoring the urge to hurry, he kept his movements gentle, alert for any sign of pain in the Exorcist's widened eye. "Is it uncomfortable, Lavi? You're shaking so hard.."

Lavi shook his head, lifting his hips with a quiet moan. "It isn't bad, I promise.. Please don't be afraid, I _want_ you!" Surprised at his reaction, the older man continued his careful touches, slowly adding a second finger.

Feeling the boy's shaking increase, he pressed firmly against the small ridge inside of him, smiling at his pleading cries. "I believe I _am_ flattered, Lovely.. Either I'm exceptionally good, or I've made you insatiable."

Lavi nodded, gasping for breath as he moved urgently against the man's hand. "You are! _Please!_ "

Tyki laughed quietly, withdrawing his fingers. "You really are going to hate me, Lavi.. But I suppose if it's inevitable, I should at least make it worth your ire." He coated himself liberally, closing the container and dropping it to the floor. Gesturing vaguely at the lights, he plunged the room into darkness, following the Exorcist's shaky breaths to touch him.

Leaning over his body, he caught his raised hips in his hand, bending close to speak. "Is this how you want it, Lovely? I hadn't though to ask.." Lavi arched against him, taking hold of his shoulders.

"Anything, Tyki.. It doesn't matter how, I _need_ you!"

The older man hummed softly, rising to his knees. Pulling the Exorcist to him, he turned them carefully around, aware that the other lacked the night vision he still possessed. Leaning against the headboard, he drew the boy up to straddle him, keeping a firm hold on his waist. "This may be better, Lavi.. You can stop anytime, if it hurts you."

Lavi nodded eagerly, pressing close enough to feel the other's heartbeat through his chest. "I will if I need to, I promise." He wrapped his arms tightly around the man's shoulders, licking at the side of his throat. "I don't think I'll have to, this felt so damned good.."

Tyki urged him backwards, lifting his hips to meet him. "Relax yourself, Lovely.. You shouldn't still be so..Oh, _Gods.._ " He moaned at the boy's eagerness, allowing him to move as he wished. Feeling his wordless shudder, he tightened his arms around him, holding him in place as he rocked upward slowly. "Don't be so hurried, Lavi.. Take your time and enjoy it." Lavi whimpered pleadingly, pushing back against him.

"Please let me move, I _want_ it..!" He arched, using his grip for leverage. "God, you feel so good! Tyki, please just let me have you, it doesn't hurt at all!" The older man gasped, releasing the hold on his waist.

"Do as you wish, Lovely.." He stroked the skin of his back, catching his mouth insistently. Sucking at his barely-healed lip, he moaned. "Is this what you needed to feel? You don't seem afraid anymore.." Lavi nodded, renewing the kiss on his own. Pulling back for air, he leaned in, nipping at the man's skin.

"I'm sorry you wanted it slower," He whispered, soothing the sting with his tongue. "We can do it that way next time.." Kissing along his shoulder, he smiled at the older man's startled groan. "Right now, I just need to have you.. Please, let me make you come?"

Tyki laughed shakily, his hands closing tightly on the boy's tense shoulders. "I don't think that's an issue, Lovely." Lifting his hips, he met the other's increasingly faltering rhythm, gasping at the sensation of teeth against his skin. " _Lavi!_ "

The Exorcist whined in acknowledgement, pressing close as he shuddered. " _Please!_ I _know_ you want it.. Tyki, please come with me! It's too much, I.. _Oh, God! Now!_ " He arched, locking his arms around the other's shoulders as he came, whimpering at the man's broken cry of completion. Panting harshly from exertion, he shivered with spent nerves as the feeling of impending madness receded, leaving him shaken with relief.

He leaned back slightly, laughing with jittery anxiety. "Did.. I didn't _hurt_ you, did I? Tyki?"

The older man shook his head, pulling the boy back down gently. "Just..Stay there, Lovely. Give me a moment.." Lavi nodded, loosening his arms fractionally as he sighed. The sound of the man's rapid heartbeat was lulling, urging him to relax into his hold. Tyki shifted, allowing him to settle more comfortably against his chest. "Is _that_ better, Lavi? I wasn't expecting you to be so eager, you truly are surprising.."

The Exorcist hummed an affirmative, leaning back slightly. "I'm sorry it was like that.. But thank you, for letting me do it." The former Noah laughed softly, helping him rise to his knees.

"Don't apologize, Lovely. There's still a chance that you'll want to take it back, in the morning.." Lavi huffed quietly, shaking his head.

"I don't think I will, Tyki. I told you, it didn't hurt me, so let's just wait and see."

Moving back with a hiss, he groped blindly for his discarded clothing. Locating the shirt, he slipped it on, feeling his way to the bathroom. Blinking at the sudden brightness, he soaked a cloth in water, wiping himself clean with a shiver. Glancing up at the mirror, he jumped at the figure behind him, startled by the man's silent approach. "God, you scared the _hell_ out of me! Try to make a little noise, huh?"

Tyki laughed, taking the washcloth he offered. "I should think you'd be used to it, Lavi. I didn't mean to frighten you, my apologies." He cleaned himself quickly, rinsing the cloth thoroughly before tossing it into the hamper. "Let me see you, Lovely. I still can't believe that I _bit_ you.."

He inspected the boy's shoulder closely, frowning at the depth of the wound. "We should put something on it, it looks like it may scar." He sighed, opening a drawer by the sink. Digging briefly through it, he produced a small jar with no label. "Let me?"

Lavi nodded slightly, inclining his head to accept his careful touch. "It really doesn't matter, Tyki. I told you, I've had _tons_ of cuts and scrapes, and most of them were worse." He winced at the medicine's strong smell, ignoring the tingling sensation it left on his broken skin. "Do you want to sleep now? I can leave you alone, if..!"

Tyki cut him off swiftly, catching his mouth with his own. Keeping the contact gentle, he pulled away after only a moment. "Stay, Lavi? I want you here, will you?" The redhead blinked in astonishment, surprised by the earnestness of his question.

"I.. If you _want_ me to, but.. Why? Doesn't it bother you, to have somebody there? You're used to sleeping alone, aren't you?" The older man shook his head, leading the boy back to the bedroom by a hand.

"It doesn't disturb me, Lovely. As for why.. I simply want you here." He paused, looking back over his shoulder. "Do you not wish to? I wouldn't force you, if it troubles _you_.."

Lavi shook his head quickly, stepping forward. "No! I didn't meant that it would, I just thought you'd want time to yourself, you've been stuck here with me all day.." He turned his hand, tightening his grip around the other's fingers. "It's _fine_ , Tyki. I don't mind staying if you want me to."

He walked toward the bed, stepping over their hastily-strewn clothing. "What a mess.. Stop laughing, some of these are yours!" The older man nodded, still smiling faintly as he extinguished the lights.

"Indeed they are, Lavi. Besides the obvious, would you care to join me?" He reached for the boy's hand, pulling him firmly into the bed with a laugh. Waiting for him to find a comfortable position, he settled close against him, sighing tiredly into his hair. "See, Lovely? This isn't so unpleasant after all.. I don't know _why_ you would think I'd be bothered.." A quiet murmur was the only reply, something that sounded vaguely like an agreement reaching his ears as the Exorcist dozed.

For several long minutes, Tyki lay in the darkness, wondering if he had truly made a mistake. The other boy's gentle breathing made him question the reason for his actions, even more than his impassioned words from before. Pushing away his unease at the redhead's sudden desperation, he decided to sleep on the matter. As he allowed sleep to claim him, he wondered why the boy's presence was so calming, in light of the things he'd done. His dreams were full of the questions, even as thousands of glowing fireflies were darkened one by one, their light taken away by a figure that laughed in the darkness..

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Well, there's THAT bit. Hopefully, anyone who asked for this-or-that is satisfied.. As always, review or something, because I don't want to continue this if no one wants it!  
This can also be called an early Birthday present for my Site-mate and Co-author Niamh, who's getting a lil bit older in just three days! Happy Birthday from your wicked sibling, Nee-san! Please be nice and wish her many more great years, huh? To everyone else, Thanks for reading! Ja!


	5. Darkness

NG5 - Darkness

 

Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 5 - Darkness

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And in addition to that:  
Dear Fangirls: I would just like to say, fuck everyone who faves or alert adds without leaving a review, no matter how brief. Srsly, Fuk u with a pigpen fencepost. Now on with the fic.  
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Lavi had never been one for nightmares.

In all the time he could remember, he found that the sight of things that frightened normal people seemed to affect him only vaguely, perhaps due to his training to observe without emotion. The same was true of night horrors, the warped sibling to things seen under the light of day. Even though he _knew_ that the things he often saw in his dreams should be terrifying, he had always felt removed from the images, as if seeing into the sleeping mind of another person.

_This_ dream was different.

At first, he seemed to be alone, standing in a field of unending proportions, the horizon so far from where he stood that the sunlight itself was faded by the distance. Turning in a slow circle, he noted that the ground was strangely even, without the usual outcroppings of rock that one would expect to find in such a place.

As he completed his visual examination of his surroundings, he faced forward again, nearly jumping out of his skin at the sight that met him.

In front of him stood a copy of himself, and behind that, another. Stepping back, he moved to the side, his eye widening in surprise as he saw a line of figures stretching far beyond the first, all of them wearing a familiar face. A long glance allowed him to count them, leaving him astonished.

48\. No more, no less. Each one was plainly _him_ , but their stances and clothing were varied, some standing straight and determined, others shrinking as if from a blow. The nearest one smiled, but the expression held a coldness that Lavi had never thought himself capable of.

"Are you comfortable, _Exorcist?_ " It asked, stepping forward. "Do you _feel_ safe and secure, here?" Lavi blinked at the maliciousness of the question, backing away again.

"Wh..What _is_ this..?" He glanced down the line, seeing equally unfriendly expressions on the other faces that were his, yet distinctly _not_ his.

The second in line stepped forward, standing alongside the first. "You _know_ what it is!" It exclaimed, clenching it's hands. "Every one of us, lined up like idiots waiting to be executed!" It's voice rose, even as the third shifted slightly. "You already killed us though, didn't you? You just left us for dead so that you could make another, and then kill _him_ too! Why is _this_ you any different? You should be dead!"

The third figure shrank back from it's predecessor's volume, but stepped forward none the less. "Why did you leave me? I was always so good, I never wanted to hurt anyone! Why did you kill me for someone else? I wanted to _be_!"

There was an answering clamor from the other selves, some leaving their places to approach the stunned Exorcist.

"You aren't dead! None of you were ever alive, you're all me! All of you, I remember everything!" The first bounded forward, grabbing the redhead's shirt.

"How did I feel, when I died? When you set me aside, what was the last thing I felt, _Exorcist?_ "

Lavi jerked away, shoving the other back. "Nothing! You didn't feel anything, none of you did! A Bookman has no heart!" The third form stepped up beside the glowering first.

"Yes I did! You wouldn't let me see it, but the feeling was there! You kept it inside you, with everything else that was mine! Give it back!" It reached for him, missing as he jumped back. "If I can't feel it, then neither can _you_! Murderer!"

Lavi shook his head, beginning to panic as several of the nearest figures advanced. "I didn't! You weren't real people, you were just like me!"

The second cried out in rage. "Liar! We're as real as you are, we had _lives!_ Everytime you made a new you, it had a life! We had _feelings!_ We _needed_ , we _wanted_ , but you ignored it! Why does _Lavi_ get to have that? All you do is kill!" Again, an outcry of agreement followed the statement, sounding like an echo of one voice that rose until individual words blended into a single yowl of misery and defiance.

"Killer! _Liar!_ I want _my life!_ It's not yours to have, _give it **back!**_ "

Lavi bolted, fleeing the ringing shouts as he covered his ears tightly to push out the deafening noise that pursued him across the flat ground. Gasping for breath, he closed his eye in terrified denial of what lay ahead.

A lone figure stood impaled on a cross of steel, it's surface glowing as if it had come straight from the forge in it's eagerness to crucify the final apparition.

The Exorcist stared up at his own face, _knowing_ that this one was truly him _self_ and not some twisted reflection of his past. It's eye glared down at him in disdain, a hate-filled smile crossing it's bleeding lips. "I'm dying," It laughed, ignoring the steady hiss of scorching flesh against white-hot metal. "I'm dying, and I _feel_ it now! Why don't we share that with them? They want to feel a little too, so let them have their turn!"

For the first time in his lives, Lavi _screamed_.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

He came awake fighting, struggling frantically against the hands that held him. His heartbeat drowned out any words his assailant may have uttered, even as he gasped for breath. The hands tightened, a weight dropping against him as he bucked with a strangled yell of terror.

The darkness brightened abruptly, leaving him squinting at the figure above him. Unable to form words, he merely stared in hopeless anxiety. The older man blinked in alarmed confusion, relaxing his hold slightly. "Are you awake now, Lavi? I tried to rouse you, but you were rather more upset than I expected.. What was that, a nightmare?"

The redhead nodded slowly, ignoring the persistent shaking of his muscles. "I'm all right, it was just.." He trailed off, thinking. After several moments of nothing, he felt the renewed stirrings of panic. "I don't.. I can't _remember_ ," He whispered at last, his eye wide with startled fear. "I can't remember _anything_ about it, not one damn thing!"

Tyki frowned, curious at his sudden fright. "Then it's probably nothing, Lovely. Just something small that doesn't matter." Lavi shook his head quickly, taking hold of his arms.

"No! It was something _awful_ , but that isn't the problem! I never forget _anything_ Tyki, I _always_ remember what I see!" Taking in the man's skeptical expression, he continued. "It's what I _do_ , damn it! A Bookman sees, and remembers! Then we write it down when we have time, that's why it's like that, because we can't always stop to record it! We don't forget anything we see, _ever!_ "

The former Noah blinked at his vehemence, releasing his grip completely in favor of covering his mouth with a hand. "Shh, it's all right, Lavi. You might have needed more resting, and that's why you can't remember." He leaned on his elbow carefully, giving the boy room to shift. "Just relax, it's fine now. I'm going to get up, so wait just a moment.." He made to rise, pausing as the boy's hands caught his shoulders.

" _Don't!_ Please, just.. Stay there, with me..?" Lavi flushed, closing his eye in embarrassment. "I want.. Please, just turn the lights out, and stay here..?"

Tyki nodded silently, allowing the room to darken as he settled closer against him. "Whatever you wish, Lovely.. I'm sorry that you're so frightened, is there anything I can do that would help you?" He felt the Exorcist's hands loosen, his arms rising to drape around his neck with an insistent grip.

"Just let me feel you, please? I've never done that and.. I won't make you stay for long, I promise." He bit his lip, taking a moment to collect himself. "I'm sorry," He mumbled, pulling the man down. "You really don't have to, if it bothers you.." Tyki shook his head firmly, leaning into his hold.

"I told you it's all right, Lavi. I don't understand what's happened, but I'm more concerned that it troubles you." He slipped an arm beneath the boy's neck, lifting his head to rest against his shoulder. "I can stay for as long as you need me too, don't worry about that." Lavi shivered, turning his face into the side of his throat.

"I don't know what's _wrong_ with me, I'm _pathetic!_ It feels like I'm five years old, afraid of a fucking _monster_ under the bed!" Tyki laughed softly, the sound vibrating against the other's lips.

"More like _in_ the bed, Lovely. I find that the floor doesn't agree with me.. too drafty, I think."

Lavi pulled back indignantly. "Don't say that! You _aren't_ a monster, Tyki."

The older man raised an eyebrow at his seeming anger, shaking his head. "I was only teasing, Lavi. You shouldn't take it seriously, even if there's _some_ bit of truth in it." The Exorcist growled in irritation, his arms tightening.

"There isn't! You're just as human as I am, or you wouldn't have bothered with this!" He shifted pointedly, ignoring the man's quick breath. "Why are you letting me hold you, if you aren't getting anything from it? You didn't even _have_ to wake me! You could have just smacked me upside the head, it would have made me get up!"

Tyki leaned back slightly, preparing to make a retort, but Lavi cut him off with a shake. "Don't even try it. You can say any damn thing you want, but I already _know_ better! What did we just finish doing? You let me do that to you, even though you didn't want it! And you were worried that it would _hurt_ me! You could have done anything at _all_ to me, Tyki, and I would have let you. I wanted you _that_ bad."

He released the man's shoulders abruptly, catching his face instead. "A _monster_ wouldn't have cared, Tyki. You're closer to human than me, I'm the one that doesn't have any feelings, remember?"

His own words made him tense suddenly, an unnamed sensation bringing him to a halt. "Oh, God.." He shuddered, closing his eye tightly. "Why can't I _remember?_ It's right _there_ , but I can't.. _Damn it!_ " Tyki hummed confusedly, able to see his distress in the darkness.

"What's the matter, Lovely? Just forget about that for now, it won't be so bad when you've rested." Leaning closer, he nuzzled briefly at his jaw, smiling wickedly. "And besides that, I wouldn't say you have no feelings.. If you didn't, you wouldn't have _wanted_ me so badly, would you? I think you have _plenty_ of feelings, Lavi."

The Exorcist shivered faintly, his breath catching in a quiet gasp. "Don't do that.." Tyki laughed softly, repeating his teasing movement.

"Whyever not, Lovely? You said you didn't _feel_ things, so that shouldn't bother you.."

Lavi shrank back quickly, pulling away from the contact. "I didn't mean it like _that!_ Please don't do that, Tyki, it's.. _Aah!_ " He bucked involuntarily, clutching at the older man's shoulders. "I.. I think.." He bit his lip for a moment, fighting to speak clearly. "You can get up, now. I'm sorry that I made you stay here, you shouldn't have even needed to.."

Tyki hummed quietly, shaking his head. "I don't mind at _all,_ Lovely.. In fact.." He settled even closer, sighing at the boy's choked breathing. "I wouldn't mind staying a bit longer, unless _you_ mind it?" Lavi mumbled something indecipherable, allowing himself to be held. "I didn't quite catch that, Lavi. Would you like me to _move?_ "

The redhead whined softly, still holding on to his shoulders. " _Tyki..!_ Please, you..! _Dammit_ , why am I _like_ this? You aren't even.. _oh, God..!_ " He arched into the man's body, his knees shaking as they lifted to grip his sides. "Please! I.. _I want..!_ " His companion nodded eagerly, licking at the side of his throat.

"I know you do, Lovely.. Do you _still_ not admit your 'feelings'? You _want_ so much that I can _taste_ it.."

Lavi cried out sharply, blinking back desperate tears. " _Yes!_ I need..!" He moaned brokenly at the man's quick nips to the skin of his shoulder. "I don't even _care_ if you bite me again! Just.. _please_ , Tyki.." The older man ground teasingly against him, hissing at his answering cries.

"So impatient, Lavi.. Are you still less than satisfied? I wonder what's come over you, to make you act this way.." He lowered a hand to the boy's hip, lifting him higher as he moved. "I don't know what to make of it, Lovely.. But I _do_ know that you need more time."

Lavi panted urgently, shaking his head. "I need _this_ more than time! Please, Tyki, I _need_ you.. It's worse than it was the last time, something _has_ to be wrong with me! I feel like I'm going to _die_ if I can't..!" He tightened his hold perceptibly, gasping at the man's obvious arousal. "Anything, Tyki! On my back, on my knees.. _anything!_ I don't care _how_ you do it, please!"

Tyki growled softly, intensifying his movements. "Lovely, you make controlling myself difficult, when you say such things.. Can't you _feel_ how much I want you? It's enough to drive me insane, just _hearing_ you!"

The redhead whimpered plaintively, his cheeks burning red with shame. "I'm sorry! I don't know _why_ it's like this, it's.. I _want_ you, and I _need_ it.. _Now!_ I'll do anything you want me to, Tyki! Just tell me what you need, and I'll do it!" He lowered his hands to the other man's waist, urging him back to his knees.

"It felt so good when you licked me.. Do you want me to do that to you? I _swear_ that I'll do it right, Tyki.. Would you let me try?" He ignored the man's surprised hum, pushing himself up to face him. Leaning close, he caught the older man's face in his hands, kissing him hesitantly. Feeling his way down to the other's hips, he pulled away for air, shivering at the man's rapid breath against his cheek. "Please, Tyki? I have to do _something,_ it feels like I'm losing my mind.. Let me try?"

Tyki nodded slowly, allowing the boy to push him backwards. "If that's what you need, Lovely.. Do whatever you like, I told you." He sighed at the Exorcist's careful touches, noting the tremor in his hands. "Don't be so nervous, Lavi.. There's nothing to be.. afraid.. _oh, yes.._ " He closed his eyes in pleasure, enjoying the sensation of a hand sliding down to cup him gently. The redhead still trembled slightly, but his touch grew bolder at the other's wordless encouragement.

"Is.. Is it _right_? Tell me if it isn't, please?" He relaxed as the older man pressed up into his palm, ignoring the desperate _need_ that consumed him. Moving further down in the bed, he leaned close enough to feel the warmth of the other's skin against his lips, taking a breath before pressing his mouth to the slight dip of his waist. Hearing a soft gasp in response, he moved lower, pausing to nibble along his hipbone.

Tyki shuddered at the feeling, resisting the urge to move. The Exorcist's cautious decent was maddening, driving the older man's arousal to near-dizzying heights. "Lovely, _please_.. What you're doing is _wonderful,_ but.. _Gods!_ " He moaned at the boy's first careful lick, reaching down to bury his fingers in his hair.

Lavi repeated the motion, drawing a line along the surprisingly silken skin. Feeling the man's quick shiver, he shifted his hand for room, continuing his exploration raptly. The taste was strange, but not unpleasant, and he found himself delighting in the other's response, his quiet murmurs reassuring him as he moved.

Recalling the unbelievably intense feelings that the man had provoked in him, he opened his mouth, sucking carefully at the tip in imitation. Tyki gasped, his fingers tightening slightly as he forced himself to keep still.

"Please, Lavi.. It feels.. _Yes!_ " He cried out in surprise as the Exorcist sucked harder, taking him in as far as he could manage. Shaking off his suddenly urgent arousal, he carefully removed his fingers from the other's hair, wary of pulling too hard. " _Please_ don't stop, that's _perfect_.."

The redhead hummed an affirmative, stroking along the inside of the man's thighs. Reaching his hips, he held on gently, lifting his head with a sigh. "Is it, really? You don't have to say that, if it isn't true.." He leaned down to kiss the bend of the other's leg, lingering there when he moaned. "I think I _like_ doing this, it isn't bad at all.. I wish I knew how to be better, though."

Tyki panted quietly, lifting himself to his elbows. "There _isn't_ anything better, Lovely.. What you were doing was **completely** right." He laughed breathlessly, shaking his head. "You shouldn't be so self conscious.. _I_ wish you hadn't stopped, it feels _incredible_." Lavi nodded slowly, minutely tightening his grip.

"Then.. I won't." He moved lower, returning to his former position. Feeling the older man shiver, he lapped eagerly at his skin, his own arousal heightened by the increasingly unsteady noises that met his efforts. Taking him into his mouth, he drew careful circles with his tongue, surprised when the man bucked in reply. Whining softly, he increased his pace, his hands still firm on the other's hips as he arched with a broken cry.

"Please! Don't.. Oh, Gods! _Lavi!_ "

Gasping at his urgency, the boy repeated his movements steadily, ignoring the building ache of his own need as he strove to give the man as much pleasure as possible. He could sense that the other man was close, despite his inexperience, and the knowledge only served to heighten his determination. Feeling the tenseness of his muscles, he loosened his grip slightly, stroking the damp skin with his palms.

Tyki choked back a moan, catching his hands roughly. "Lovely, wait..." He urged the boy up, releasing his hands as he rose to meet him. "I'm sorry, but I can't let you do this. Not like this, not yet." Lavi shook his head in protest, but the older man ignored his unspoken retort.

"I'm not the one who _needs_ it, Lavi. You're still shaking like mad, I can feel it." He leaned forward, sliding an arm around the redhead's back, pressing him down to the mattress. "Tell me what you need, Lovely. I can do this and more, if you wish it."

Lavi gasped as the older man's weight covered him, his legs rising to wrap tightly around his waist. "I..Please, God.." His voice failed him, breaking off into a desperate whimper. Lifting his hips, he pleaded with word and action. "Tyki, please just fuck me! I want it so much that it _hurts!_ I don't care if you think I should wait, I need it!"

Tyki shuddered at his urgency, his fingers trembling minutely as he stroked the sweat-dampened skin of the boy's hip and thigh. "If that's what you want, Lavi.. Like this?" The redhead nodded rapidly, pressing close.

"However you want me! I told you I don't care how, do anything you want!" He loosened his hold, allowing the man to retrieve the container of oil from the bedside table. "Don't take too long," He panted, raising his hips at the other's gentle urging. "I want you too much for that, if you aren't careful.. _Tyki!_ " His voice broke in surprise as the older man's slickened fingers pressed into him, his eye watering at the sting that accompanied the movement. Forcing himself to relax, he moaned breathlessly as the man licked at the skin of his inner thigh.

"You said anything I want, Lovely.. Do you mean that?" Lavi gasped a soft affirmative, his hands aching from their hold on the damp sheets as he pushed back against the other man's slow movements. Tyki hummed in pleasure at his response, tugging his caught hand from beneath his body. "The first time.. You loved that, didn't you? That's what I want, Lavi. I want you on your knees, begging for me to make you come.."

He hissed at the boy's sudden tightness, his free hand catching his weight as he leaned in. "Gods, Lovely.. Does it excite you so much, just to _hear_ it? You're so close already, can you not wait that long?" He curled his fingers insistently, smiling as the Exorcist bucked. "You need it, don't you? Even if it's only this?" Lavi cried out raggedly, struggling to form coherent words.

"You can't.! I don't want.. Not like this! Tyki, please, I want _you!_ Just like you said, I want..!" He gasped desperately, releasing the sheets. "I want you to fuck me..! _Please_ don't make me come like this!" The older man blinked at his vehemence, stunned by his blatant declaration.

"I could do that for you too, Lavi.. If you weren't so new to this, I could do anything you wished, for _hours_ if you needed it." He caught the boy's lips hungrily, growling at his instant response. "Would you like that, Lovely? Would it please you, to have me take you again and again, until you wanted me to stop?" Lavi nodded rapidly, his fingers tangling carefully into the man's hair as he leaned up to lick at his throat.

"I wish we could do that now.. I want you so damned bad.." He lifted his face for a kiss, pulling away only when the need to breathe became stifling. "Do anything you want, now. I promised you the last time that the next would be up to you, so have me the way you want me, Tyki."

The former Noah hummed in agreement, ignoring his unease at the boy's sudden submissiveness. "Will you let me do that, Lovely? Like this, and then again, as you want it? If we do _that_ now, it would be over far too quickly for my taste.. I want to take much more time with you, to satisfy your need as well as my own." Feeling the redhead's pulse spike at his quiet words, he smiled slightly. "You want it like that, don't you? Not just once, you want to feel like this for as long as you can stand it.. That's perfect, because I _want_ to do that to you. I want you to come so hard that it frightens you, Lavi."

He moved lower against the boy's body, following the line of his ribs with his mouth. Nipping gently at the redhead's skin, he licked slowly across his lower chest with a murmur of appreciation. "It's going to be wonderful, isn't it? You want this so much that it makes you crazy, it's immensely gratifying, Lovely.." Adding more oil to his hand, he shivered with his own arousal as the Exorcist gasped his name repeatedly. "Did you know that I can _see_ you, Lavi? Right now, you've got the strangest expression on your face.. Are you afraid?"

Lavi shook his head quickly, unable to explain. "You.. Please, I think.. _Tyki!_ Oh, God! Don't stop, I'm going to-" He broke off with a rasping cry, arching desperately away from the sheets. Tyki gasped at his response, pressing against his prostate firmly.

" _Yes._ Come for me, Lovely." Feeling the boy's muscles lock around his fingers, he moaned softly in anticipation. "Gods, I want you.. Please, Lavi?"

The redhead stiffened abruptly, clawing at the blankets as he shrieked the man's name hoarsely, his eye wide in shock at the force of his release. Collapsing bonelessly, he blinked dazedly at the invisible ceiling, noting absently that his need was only slightly abated. Panting for breath, he forced himself to his elbows, yanking the startled Noah up to cover him. "I want you, too.. Give me.. just a minute. Not long, I _promise_."

Tyki shuddered at the feeling of the boy's breath against his throat. "Are you sure, Lovely? You're shaking like a leaf, is something the matter?" Lavi nuzzled against his skin briefly, nodding.

"This feels so fucking good, Tyki.. You really wouldn't understand.. _I_ don't even understand." He sighed quietly, stroking the man's back hesitantly. "I'm sorry you had to wait.. Now?" Urging the older man to rise, he slid back carefully, pausing at the feeling of the headboard's cool surface against his back. "Did you.. Do you want me here, or did you want to use the floor..? That's how-" Tyki cut him off sharply, moving close enough to cover his mouth with a hand.

"Here is _more_ than fine, Lavi. It doesn't need to be exactly the same, this isn't like _that_ at all." He closed his eyes tightly, pushing away a pang of remembered guilt. "I didn't mean for you to think that, I should have said it differently.." Removing his hand, he leaned closer. "You don't have to do this, Lovely. Is there anything that you would prefer, in place of that?"

Lavi shook his head, feeling blindly for the man's hand. Tugging him forward, he shivered at the warmth surrounding him. "I _want_ to. I know it isn't the same, I don't care about that anymore.. Please, Tyki? It was good, but this time will be so much better.." Rising to his knees, he shifted to face the wall, taking a firm grip on the headboard. He pressed back against the other's chest, hissing at the feeling of the older man's hands on his hips.

"It might.. be better for you, too.. If I let you?" His breath caught slightly as he leaned back, making him aware of the former Noah's still-present arousal. "That's what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted me to beg for it then, too.." Feeling the other's quick gasp, he nudged against him firmly. "Please, Tyki.. I need it! What you just did was _amazing_ , but I still want you to fuck me.. That feels better than _anything_."

Tyki jerked him upright, biting down on the back of his neck. "You're saying too much, Lovely.. If you don't stop, I won't be able to be careful with you." Pressing a hand against the boy's front, he urged his knees apart. "You're going to get _exactly_ what you want, Lavi.. Hearing you say that makes it impossible not to take you!"

Whimpering urgently, Lavi spread his legs wider, pushing backward into the man's body. "Then do it! You said you wanted to, so..!" He faltered, shuddering as he felt the older man's tongue against his skin. "Please! You know how much I want it, don't make me wait.." Tyki nodded, nipping the boy's shoulder as he slicked himself hurriedly.

"It was never my intention to, Lovely.. Tell me if this hurts you, please?" Pressing against the Exorcist's back, he hissed approvingly at his soft moan. Guiding the younger boy's eager movements, he tightened his hold on his hips with a low growl, sliding carefully into the heat of his body. Lavi cried out haltingly, rocking back to meet his shallow thrusts.

" _Tyki!_ No teasing, I need..!" Gripping the headboard tightly, he arched into the man's touch, pleading wordlessly for more. The older man hummed in acknowledgement, intensifying his steady motions.

"Harder, Lavi? You should tell me these things, I told you that I want to learn what pleases you.." Smiling at the boy's panting affirmative, he tugged him upright, leaning in to lick at his throat. "You were right, about your willingness.. Feeling you _move_..Gods!" Closing his eyes, he moaned. "Tell me what you need, Lovely. Is this enough?"

Lavi shook his head jerkily, lowering one hand from it's place. Reaching awkwardly behind himself, he pressed against the man's skin. "More! Please don't hold back, I want it!"

The older man gasped at his touch, moving to comply. "I know you do, Lavi.. But why should you rush yourself?" He sucked briefly at the boy's sweat-dampened skin, relishing his sudden cry of desperation. "I told you, didn't I? You'll get the thing that you crave, but why should it be less than pleasant for you?" He held the Exorcist tightly, keeping his movements constant. "This... It's as much for you as it is for me."

Lavi bucked into the man's body, unable to sort out the feelings that swamped him. "You.. I... Please! It isn't that, I want you to..!" His breath caught, choking off his words. "It's.. I thought I'd die when you bit me..You never made a _sound_ like that before..Knowing that you want.. _Tyki!_ Oh my God! There! Don't..!" Whatever he may have said was lost, drowned out by the frantic pounding of his heart. Tyki clung to him all the more, eyes wide with understanding.

"You think ...I don't want this? Lovely, you can't _possibly_ be so naive.." He moaned airily, intensifying his thrusts. "I don't think I could stop now if you begged me to.. I meant it, that I love the way you feel when you lose yourself.. Will you do that for me?"

The Exorcist nodded swiftly, choking back an embarrassingly needy sound. " _Yes..!_ Please take what you need! It's so good when.. When you.. Aah!" He arched backward, releasing the headboard in favor of pressing back against the man's body. "I'm.. I want..!" Shaking off the weight of his pleasure, he stroked the other's skin heatedly. Closing his eye, he whimpered pleadingly. "Please, Tyki! I'm too close to wait!"

The former Noah hummed in breathless confusion. "Then don't, Lovely.. What are you waiting for?" Lavi shuddered, shaking his head blearily.

"You! We.. I need it so bad.. and..!" Arching backward, he urged the older man on with a sobbing moan. "I want you to come like that, hard enough to make you scream! Do what you need to do, dammit! Stop holding back and _fuck me!_ " The older man growled in response, jerking roughly on the boy's hips.

"I'm not holding back anything! I'm so fucking close right now that just _hearing_ you drives me mad!" Molding himself to the Exorcist's back, he dropped a hand to his aching arousal. "I love it when you come, Lavi..It feels so goddamned good.. Give me that, please? I'll come with you, I swear.."

The younger boy nodded rapidly, clutching desperately at the other's skin. "Yes! Now! Please let me.. _Tyki!_ " He cried out sharply, his blunted fingernails digging into the man's forearm. Sensing his meaning, the older man shuddered in anticipation, moving against him relentlessly.

"Gods Lovely.. You really do need this, don't you?" Feeling the redhead's shaking muscles, he tightened his hold, pulling the boy backward against him with a satisfied smile. "Let go, if you need it so much.. I don't want to wait either, Lavi."

Gasping brokenly, the Exorcist released the other's arm, fearful of causing him an injury in his passion. Pressing as close as he could manage, he choked out the man's name, the sound rising into a stifled shout as he heard the older man's breathless moan against his skin. The almost-silent noise was enough to send him over the edge, his spine cracking loudly as he arched into the man's touch.

The feeling of the boy's body locked around him in release was almost painfully exquisite, driving the astonished man on to his own climax with a surprised cry that seemed to mock him with it's noticeably pleading tone. He ignored the fading echoes in favor of burying his face into the Exorcist's sweat-dampened hair, the sound of his soft whimpers sending a chill through his insides.

"Lovely..?" He murmured, loosening his grip. "Are you.. Did I hurt you?"

Lavi sighed, leaning against him tiredly. "You didn't. It's.. Thank you, Tyki." Hearing the man's questioning hum, he pulled away with a quiet hiss, half-turning to face him. "I'm sorry that I can't.." He shivered, closing his eye. "I feel like I'm not.. myself. You shouldn't have to deal with my problems, and I shouldn't let you-"

Tyki cut him off with a laugh, the sound lacking any malice. "If _that_ is what you mean by _your problems_ , I seriously doubt that you'll find me unwilling, Lovely. Didn't I tell you not to be sorry?" He stroked the boy's skin carefully, wincing at his quickly drawn breath. "If anyone's at fault, it's me. I imagine you'll be bruised, here.." He laid his palms gently on the Exorcist's hips, closing his eyes guiltily at the thought. "And most likely you'll be sore from this. I knew it was too soon, but you _needed_ so much.. It was wrong of me to allow it, Lavi."

He urged the boy away from the headboard, blinking in surprise when the redhead shifted, his arms draping over the man's shoulders in a shaky embrace. "Lavi..?" The boy sighed tremulously, nodding.

"M' all right.. just.. I'm sorry for asking." He leaned back, releasing the other's body. "I shouldn't sleep here, not anymore. If I can't trust myself not to.." Tyki shook his head, pulling him further down into the bed.

"That doesn't matter, Lovely. I won't let you push me into hurting you, but you can at least trust _me_ to give you what you need." He urged the redhead down, smiling at his grumbling protest. "I'll be back in a moment," He murmured, sliding to the edge. "Other than the obvious, do you need anything?" Hearing the boy's soft negative, he strode to the bathroom, not bothering with the lights as he took a clean cloth from the stack and dampened it.

Making quick work of himself, he rinsed the cloth well before returning to the room. Taking much more time with the disturbingly quiet Exorcist's cleaning, he wiped the headboard carefully, satisfied with the results until later in the morning. Seeing that the other was almost asleep, he tossed the cloth into the hamper, moving back to his side of the bed. Pausing for only a moment, he tugged the boy toward him, wincing at his anxious shiver.

"Would you rather I didn't touch you, Lovely?" He asked, strangely disconcerted at his reluctance. "I wouldn't be offended, if you wanted to keep your distance."

Lavi shook his head, sliding closer. "I'm afraid that I might.. If I dream like that again, I might kick or something." He sighed, closing his eye in embarrassment. "I might hurt you.. Or I could.." Trailing off, he shuddered, shaking his head. "I _want_ to stay. Really. I just don't want to make it any worse than it already is." Hearing his breath catch, Tyki frowned.

"You haven't done anything wrong, Lavi! You act as if you've forced me, but you haven't!" Ignoring his attempt to reply, he jerked the boy fully against himself with a growl. "If you want to be here, then stay! Don't tell me that you're afraid of yourself, _I'm_ the one you should fear! Whatever is wrong with you, I caused it! Bringing you here, _that_ was the only wrongdoing, Lavi!" He pressed close, holding the startled boy tightly to his chest. "Just sleep, please? I would rather have you here, in case you **do** dream something that frightens you.. You didn't wake on your own, remember? At the very least, I could do that for you.."

Relaxing into his grip, Lavi nodded tiredly. "All right, I get it.. Just don't be mad if you get kneed in your crotch, On Fearsome One.." Yawning, he snorted to himself. "I think you're the least of my worries, Tyki. Whatever I saw, it wasn't you, that much I _do_ know.." Closing his eye sleepily, he nuzzled briefly at the man's bare skin, sighing at the steady thrum of a pulse against his lips. Humming quietly, he frowned. "I don't think you're supposed to.. but.." He trailed off again, murmuring nonsensically against the older man's chest.

"Supposed to what, Lovely?" Tyki urged softly, his brow furrowed in confusion. Tipping his head, he could only just hear the boy's answer, but the words were unclear with half-sleep.

"S'posed to care.. We hurt you a lot, 'n can't fix it." He sighed, dozing off before the man could question him further. For a long while, Tyki mulled over his hazy words, confused at his own unease. He realized with a start that he still held the other far too tightly to be comfortable, and loosened his grip hurriedly.

When he finally did sleep, his own dreams were vague and troubled, everything shadowed with a sense of foreboding that kept him from relaxing as he normally would. Even the presence of his not-quite-captive was unsettling in his vision, there was a sense of _wrongness_ to the boy's expression, as if his smile no longer had depth. It was like seeing a stranger with a familiar face, someone he knew and yet..

Once, he jerked awake, his eyes opening as his arms tightened automatically around the Exorcist, as if to reassure himself that the boy was, in fact, still there. Snorting at his own paranoia, he settled back into a resting state of mind, ignoring the feeling that something truly unpleasant was approaching. _'His nightmare must have been terrible,'_ He thought, frowning. _'Even when I brought him here, he was never so.. upset. And why is he suddenly so in need of me?'_

He cast the thought away, deciding that he would do better to ask the boy himself when he awakened. Drawing the blankets higher, he stiffened when the redhead shivered at the barely-there touch of his hand against his shoulder, a soft whine going almost unheard as he pressed closer in his sleep. Shifting his hand carefully, Tyki stroked the Exorcist's upper back with his fingers, frowning at the tenseness of his muscles. The boy seemed to be resting peacefully, and he was loathe to rouse him from his much-needed sleep, but the unconscious intensity of his reactions perturbed the man.

_'Perhaps he knows that it's only me,'_ He thought, pushing his disquiet away. _'Surely he's had enough of this, after so much in such a short time..'_ His last thought before he slept again was that he needed to be careful. With the boy obviously more than willing to allow him free reign, there was a distinct possibility that he could injure the redhead badly, and the thought of bringing him pain was sickening to the man in a way that surprised him.

It had been less than a year since he'd decided upon this course of action, to take his revenge on the people he thought of as murderers. He wondered if taking _this_ Exorcist had made the difference, would it have been the same if he'd caught another?

Somehow, he didn't think so.

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When he woke the following morning, the first thing he noticed was his companion. Lying on his stomach, the boy had managed to cocoon himself in the sheets, one arm flung carelessly over the edge of the bed, the other wrapped firmly around the older man's waist from the side. Raising an amused eyebrow, Tyki extricated himself carefully, still reluctant to disturb the boy's sleep if it could be avoided.

Dressing quietly, he frowned as the Exorcist whined in his sleep, the arm that had been draped over his bedmate curling inward as he drew up his knees beneath the covers in a slightly defensive gesture. The movement was oddly troubling, as if he were seeking contact with the man who now stood beside the bed watching. After a moment, Tyki reached across him, sliding his unoccupied pillow closer to the fidgeting redhead, who immediately latched onto it with a sigh.

Confused at himself, the older man turned abruptly, crossing the room to retrieve a small stack of letters that needed to be sent. Taking a final look at the sleeping boy, he donned his tophat with an annoyed sigh. Dressing formally never failed to remind him of the past, of memories both pleasant and terrible beyond belief, adding yet another thing to his already-long list of things he wished to avoid at all costs. Shaking off his inexplicable unease at leaving the redhead alone, he concentrated on a spot close by the post office he preferred, ignoring the sharp twinge that accompanied the translocation.

After a brief look around to insure that his arrival had gone unnoticed, he stepped into the street, making his way toward the familiar building that housed the town's postmaster. Climbing the steps, he saw a slightly familiar form approaching the door, and nodded politely as they made to pass him by. After only a few steps, the woman turned, her eyes wide in sudden recognition.

"Mr. Michaels? I'm so sorry, I didn't know it was you at first! You look.." The woman faltered, grasping for a polite way finish her hasty apology. "..Different. Goodness, that sounds horrible, doesn't it?" She laughed, more at herself than the man's nonplussed expression. "Besides my poor choice of words, how have you been?" He frowned thoughtfully, attempting to place her.

"My apologies, miss..?" Blinking, she laughed again.

"I suppose I look different too! I'm Sarah Porter, from the hospital. I don't think I introduced myself when you came in.. I was on duty when you brought Michaela there." Remembering the woman's friendly chatter, he smiled.

"Yes, I'm sorry that I didn't notice right away. She's been well, I presume?" Sarah's expression hardened somewhat, surprising him.

"She's still with us.. The orphan's home refuses to take on a child so young. They already have nearly a dozen that aren't quite a year old, and they say they haven't the staff to care for another." She sighed, shaking her head. "Being a bit smaller than normal, they wanted to be sure that she didn't turn sickly. She's put on a bit of size, but it may be several months before there's a place for her.. We've been asking the parents we see, hoping that someone will foster her."

He nodded in understanding. "It would be better for her to have a long term home, really. Too many moves from place to place wouldn't be good for a child so young."

Sarah agreed, gesturing at his hands. "I didn't mean to keep you, but if I may.." She paused, biting her lip before continuing. "Would you like to see her..? I probably shouldn't ask, but there really hasn't been anyone with her besides myself and a few of the other girls.. I'll understand if you'd rather not be involved, but.."

Tyki shook his head, waving off her anxiety. "It's no problem, Miss Porter. Is there a time that would be convenient..? I rarely have plans, so anything you prefer would be fine." The woman's smile was blinding, and for a moment he was truly pleased to have caused it.

"Anytime at all, even this afternoon, if you like! She usually eats around one, and then she's not _nearly_ so fussy.." Still smiling broadly, she bounded forward, wrapping him in a gleeful hug before turning to leave. "I'll be on duty, just ask for me if I'm not at the desk. Thank you so much, you have no idea how wonderful it is!" With a final grin and a wave, she was gone, leaving a him standing dumbstruck in front of the wood and glass doorway of the post office.

Shaking his head, he turned to the door, still confused by the woman's exuberant response to such a small thing. Giving a perfunctory nod to smiling desk clerk, he handed him the letters, accepting his receipt with a quiet thanks before making his way back to the street.

Checking his pocketwatch, he was surprised to find that it was nearly noon. _'I can't believe that I slept so long.'_ He mused, leaning casually against the building's side with a sigh. Retrieving his cigarettes, he lit one, drawing the smoke in halfheartedly as he thought. _'I wonder how much longer Lavi will sleep.. I should return before he wakes.'_

Frowning at his uncharacteristic worry over the boy, he shook his head. _'He was right, about his reaction..'_ He thought, _'It truly is far too soon for such desperation, with or without his acceptance of me. Perhaps it's as he said, a need for something to erase the memories of what I've done..'_ The recollection of his actions made him shudder, even as the presence in his mind stirred fitfully. _'I should never have allowed him to stay, there's nothing but misery in that place..'_

Closing his eyes, he sighed. _'He knows nothing of me, yet he would gamble his life on my continued sanity..'_ Forcing back his unease, he stepped away from the wall, crushing his forgotten cigarette beneath his foot as he straightened. Remembering the conversation with Sarah Porter, he started in the direction of the hospital. As the building came into view, he paused, unsure of his decision to visit the child he'd saved.

_'Can any good come of my seeing her? I'll most likely be gone from here long before she is of an age to appreciate such a gesture..'_ Laughing at his suddenly fatalistic musings, he mounted the steps, pushing open the door with a smirk. Glancing toward the nurse's station, he was met with a repetition of the earlier bright smile as the woman there rose swiftly to her feet.

"Mr. Michaels! I didn't think you'd be here so soon, I hope it isn't too much of a bother!" She exclaimed, rounding the desk. "I'm glad you're here, though. We're almost ready to start taking the patients their lunches, so I can take you back to the nursery now, if you like!" Nodding dazedly in the face of her enthusiasm, he allowed himself to be ushered quickly through the halls, reaching up to remove his hat as their destination came into view.

Showing him to a comfortable-looking chair, the woman urged him to sit, motioning another white clad woman over with a wave. The second nurse eyed him openly, raising a falsely arched brow at Sarah's hurried explanation. "I'll bring her out, but I don't know why in the world you'd bother with holding her." She said, speaking more to the object of her scrutiny than to the visibly annoyed Sarah. "She'll probably be screaming, that's pretty much all she does."

Mildly irritated at her caustic statement, Tyki met her gaze cooly. "Indeed. As I understand it, that's the nature of children."

The woman's eyes narrowed at his tone, but she turned toward the younger nurse with a curt nod before stalking away. Snorting faintly at her departing back, Sarah looked down at the seated man. "I'm sorry about her, but she's the only person here that has anything bad to say about Michaela. Their first meeting was.. Less than stellar." She said, smiling mischievously at his curious expression. "I think it was hate at first sight. Or maybe first smell." She leaned closer, lowering her voice conspiratorially. "Bethany wears a _lot_ of perfume, and I think it irritates Michaela's nose. She starts screaming as soon as she smells her now." Tyki nodded in understanding, having gotten a rather strong whiff of the woman's lingering odor.

"That's her name? I'm sure she's absolutely _charming_." His sarcasm did not go unnoticed, much to the laughing woman's delight.

"She likes to think that everyone worships her, but we really just try to stay as far away from her as we can.. She thinks it's awe, I guess."

Tyki waved a hand dismissively. "I've always heard that ignorance is bliss.. I suppose she's very happy." A sharp yowl of anger drew their attention to the nursery doorway, where a harried Bethany appeared, a wailing bundle held slightly away from her body as she all but dashed toward the pair.

"Here you are, I hope you have a _wonderful_ visit." She snarled, thrusting the shrieking child at the suddenly anxious man. Sarah glared after her as she left, then turned to the other with a wince.

"She's wrapped her too tight, let me just.." She tugged gently at the corner of the blanket, pulling it carefully away from the child's face. "That's better, she could barely move!" Tyki blinked at the suddenly exposed head, taking in the baby's thick hair and angrily mottled skin.

Tightening his hold, he moved the squirming body higher into his arm, fumbling for a moment before finding the best position for her head. Seeing her avert her face after a deep sniff, he stood, offering her to the anxious woman. "Could you take her, just for a moment?" When Sarah nodded, he passed the crying child to her, shrugging off his heavy coat and placing it several seats away, along with his hat. Sighing, he returned to his seat, laughing softly at the young woman's nervous wince. "I smoke, the smell may be not quite to her liking." He explained, retrieving the slightly quieter bundle.

Settling her into the crook of his arm, he rocked her carefully, murmuring. "All right, Little One.. Let's have a look at you, hm?" Folding back the blanket, he nudged at one clenched fist. "There, now.. None of that, there's nothing to cry about anymore." The child blinked up at him, stilling abruptly. Meeting her curiously grave expression, he smiled. "Much better, pretty girls shouldn't cry."

For a moment, Michaela stared at him, wide eyed. Then she huffed softly, relaxing against his body with a contented wiggle. Sarah gaped at the pair dumbly, shaking her head.

"Goodness, you're very good with children, it usually takes forever to calm her down after a fit like that!" She laughed in gleeful astonishment at his bewildered face. "You don't have any of your own? Younger sisters or brothers, then?" Seeing his pained wince, she paused. "I'm sorry, that's really none of my business! I didn't mean to pry, I just assumed.." He cut her off with a slight shake of his head.

"No, it's not a problem. I had both, actually, but none of them were nearly this young when we met." Seeing her confusion, he smiled ruefully. "We were all adopted, so to speak. I never knew my own family."

She covered her mouth, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry! i can never seem to be still when I should.." Biting her lip, she fidgeted nervously. "I'll leave you two alone for a bit, but I'll be back as soon as I finish the lunch rounds.. Bethany can get you anything you need until then." Still flushed with guilty anxiety, she made to go, pausing by the door. "If she fusses, you can have Bethany take her, she might want to eat soon." Smiling faintly at his nod, she left, closing the door behind her.

Turning his attention back to the child, Tyki sighed. "You're much luckier than I, Little One. Perhaps it's for the best that you don't have your mother. Anyone who would do such a thing is unworthy of parenthood." Studying him owlishly, Michaela gurgled agreeably.

"I must say, you look much cleaner." He said, smirking at the memory of his ruined shirt. "And you still don't know what's good for you.. You should be screaming your head off, don't you know that I'm a dangerous man?" She squirmed faintly, gripping the fabric of his shirtfront in her fist. Shaking his head resolutely, he nudged her hand with a finger. "Go on then, have at it."

Abandoning the cloth in favor of a new 'toy', she latched doggedly onto the proffered digit with a squeal. Glancing toward the nurse's desk, he snorted at the annoyed expression on his audience's face. Noticing his look, the woman raised an eyebrow in question.

"Did you need something? She'll be yowling for her bottle soon." Levelling an irritated stare at the woman, he reminded himself that pubic killings were no longer part of his responsibilities.

"Actually, I think she may want it now. If you would be so kind as to fetch it, I'd be more than happy to see to her feeding."

Glaring at him in disbelief, the woman stormed toward a low shelf, muttering waspishly under her breath about _'uppity bastards with no regard for manners.'_ Seeing her frustration, Tyki smiled.

"Not too warm now, we wouldn't want her _yowling_ , would we?"

Her shoulders stiffened momentarily, but she continued, her vituperations expanding to include ' _ **smug** uppity bastards'_.

Smirking down at the happily squirming child, he leaned close, ignoring the obviously listening woman. "She's wrong, you know..I'm not uppity at all." Michaela mumbled unconcernedly around her mouthful of finger, prompting the man to wince at the strength of her enthusiasm. "Ferocious little thing, aren't you? It must be the hair.."

Hearing the woman's approaching steps, he looked up just in time to see a flash of vindictive animosity cross her face before it was wiped away by a carefully held smile.

Stiffening slightly, he looked at the glass bottle held all too loosely in her hand, a jolt of unease warning him an instant before she seemed to stumble, the container leaving her hand in a direct path for the wall just beyond his face. Concentrating swiftly, he drew his fingers through the child's grip, catching the warm glass in his palm before it could reach it's mark.

Meeting her round-eyed gaze, he shook his head scornfully. "You should be more careful.. Clumsiness has brought a great many of my peers to grief." She paled, backing away with a faint shiver of disbelief. Turning on her heel, she nearly trampled the astonished Sarah as she entered, intent on her escape.

Staring after the fleeing woman, she spun quickly to question the calmly seated man, pausing at the sight of his fixed smile. Shaking off a chill, she hurried over. "What on Earth was that? She looked as if she'd seen the Devil himself!"

Tyki shook his head, his smile widening in genuine amusement. "A very close call. Perhaps she went in search of new shoes, those seem rather slick." Laughing at her confusion, he showed her the bottle. "She was bringing this to me, and she slipped. Thankfully, we avoided any unpleasantness."

Gesturing to the seat beside him, he waited for the other to sit. "I'll give her this, before I go.. Unless there's some rule against that?" Sarah shook her head, eyeing the man's still-calm companion.

"Do as you like, there's no rule about it.. I'm surprised that she's so quiet, it's a bit late, actually." Tyki raised an eyebrow, glancing down at the child's soft noise of discontent.

"I think the quiet is nearly at an end.. But we can fix that, can't we, Little One?" He laughed at her eager squirm as the bottle entered her range of clear sight. "At least that.. woman didn't overheat the milk, hm? Good to know that she isn't a _complete_ incompetent.."

Sarah snorted rudely, glaring in the direction of the other nurse's desk. "Oh, she's useful all right.. The popular opinion is that most of the senior doctors are positively _overjoyed_ to have her here.. And I must admit, there's some truth to it. I wish they would promote her, or transfer her to one of the private practices, she's simply horrid with the children."

Feigning disinterest, Tyki hummed. "What shift is it that she works, just the afternoons?" The woman nodded, looking relieved.

"She usually leaves by five.. I stay until seven or so, that's my turn to be here." She smiled brightly, watching the baby drink. "I like it when I can work with the younger ones, they need it much more than the grown patients. Michaela's done so well in the past day or so, it makes me feel like I've done a good thing by staying even later to be with her.. I want to have children of my own, so that I can feel like that more often." She flushed slightly, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, my mouth has a mind of it's own.. Besides that, would you like to come again? If it's not a bother, that is."

Tyki looked at the dozing child, pulling the almost empty container away carefully. "It's no trouble at all." He said, not meeting the woman's eyes. Standing, he offered her the bottle, waiting for her to place it in the rack on the desk for materials that needed washing. Tucking the baby's blanket snugly around her body, he slipped his finger gently out of her sleep-loosened grasp, indicating that the other should take her with a nod. "I believe I will, though I'm not completely sure that I should.. Are there rules about visiting times, or some such?"

Sarah shook her head with a grin. "No, nothing. You're free to come anytime during the day or evening, as many times as you like." Smiling faintly at her glee, Tyki retrieved his coat and hat, taking a last look at the small bundle she held.

"Very well then. Thank you for inviting me, Miss Porter, and I hope your.. associate moves onward and upward at a more seemly pace." Hesitantly, he smoothed a hand over the child's wispy hair, lowering his voice so as not to wake her. "And thank you as well, Little One. I've enjoyed your company, despite the presence of less amiable individuals." Smirking at himself, he nodded to the happily smiling nurse, leaving the room and softly closing the door.

Straightening, he glanced at the nearby wallclock on his way out of the building's door, noting the time with a sigh. _'Lavi should certainly have awakened by now.. But he'll have a bit longer to wait, there's something that needs tending..'_

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Bethany Rogers was significantly lacking in patience.

Glaring at a slower-moving hospital resident, she shoved abruptly past him to reach her coat and handbag, pointedly ignoring the yelp of indignant surprise as he stumbled against his walker. Tossing her timesheet carelessly at the front desk basket, she made for the door, sighing in relief as the antiseptic odor faded into blessedly fresh air.

Digging quickly for her mirror, she frowned at her faded lipstick, fishing out the small tube with a mutter before reapplying it. Smiling at her improved reflection, she dropped both items into her already-full bag, closing it with a satisfying _snap_ as she descended the stairs. Reaching the street, she turned in the direction of her flat, planning her evening as she walked briskly toward the trolley stop. As she passed a singularly dark and narrow alley, a slight noise made her turn. Spotting a semi-familiar figure, she glared, her mouth opening to speak.

Before the harsh words could leave her painted mouth, a hand closed tightly over her wrist, yanking her forward with a brief cry of shock that was quickly smothered by a gloved hand. Struggling against the painful grip, she attempted to bite the offending object as the man laughed softly.

"Calm yourself, woman. I didn't spend the afternoon lurking in shadows to prey upon such a delightful person such as yourself." Leaning close, Tyki smiled widely at her indignant growl. "I thought that you could do with a bit of advice.. I believe that your interests would be best served elsewhere, away from people who need the care of a less vindictive person."

Removing his hand, he allowed her to speak. She wrenched away from his loosened hold, glaring up at him pugnaciously.

"I'd thank you to mind your own affairs, _sir._ My work suits me as well as I please, I see no reason to concern myself with the opinions of some trumped up nobody." Shaking her head, she smiled viciously. "It's yours, isn't it? That awful, screaming _thing_? Perhaps you should have drowned her, if you didn't see fit to raise your whelp yourself. It would have been better than bringing her to us, there's more than enough useless people and children there already."

Ignoring the man's sharp breath, she waved a hand toward the alley's end. "This sort of place suits you.. Did you meet her mother like this, when you spawned her? That would explain her disposition, coming from filth."

Tyki hissed angrily, shoving her flat against the wall with his hand. Aware of his rapidly shifting eyecolor, he bent close enough for her to see, smiling at her panicked expression. "As much as I would like to remove the lump of useless skin that you call a heart, I think it would be best if I didn't. Listen to me very closely, woman. I'll say this only once." He studied her closely, ignoring the yowl of murderous rage from his other sides. "You will leave this place. Your kind are unworthy of such things as mercy, but I assure you that there will be one instance of it for you here. I'll be returning soon, and for your life, never let me see you again. The next time I set eyes on you, you die. I'm no more human than you are, and I would _love_ to see exactly how long you could live without lungs."

The woman's eyes rounded in terror as his fingers slid briefly into her flesh, flexing purposefully against the rapid thud of her aorta as he spoke. "Do we understand each other, Miss? Don't speak, just nod your empty head." Smiling at her frantic nod, he withdrew, stepping back with a cheerful grin. "Very good! I knew you couldn't be as stupid as all _that._ Farewell then, and remember, only once."

She staggered backward, still watching him as he stepped casually through the dank stone of the wall with a laugh. Fleeing toward the street, she returned to the hospital stairs, entering the door with a crash that brought Sarah Porter to her feet in alarm.

Ignoring the woman's questions, she took a pen and paper, scribbling out a swift notice of resignation with shaking hands before brandishing it at the startled woman. "I'm done! Take this and give it to any damn one who wants it! You people can _have_ your demons and their wretched spawn, I don't want any part of you!" Whirling on her heel, she stalked back out the door, leaving a very confused and grateful Sarah staring at her retreating back as the door slammed firmly behind her.

Sinking into her chair, she was struck by the recollection of Mr. Micheal's bleak smile, shivering as she recalled the gleam of joyous murder in his dark eyes. _'I wonder if... No. He wouldn't have, not like that. He couldn't be so kind if he were truly a bad man..'_ She forced away her uneasiness, sighing at the knowledge that whatever the reason, Bethany Rogers had indeed moved onward and upward, hopefully far from anyplace populated by decent people.

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Hmm, isn't _that_ just an interesting turn of events.. I wonder if anyone can see a pattern here. Besides that, stay tuned for chapter six, hopefully soon to follow!


	6. Nightwalk

NG6 - Nightwalk  
Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 6 - Nightwalk

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And in addition to that:  
Dear Fangirls: I would just like to say, fuck everyone who faves or alert adds without leaving a review, no matter how brief. Srsly, Fuk u with a pigpen fencepost. Now on with the fic.  
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Lavi woke alone.  
The space beside him was cool, telling him that it's previous occupant was long gone. Sighing quietly, he frowned, remembering the night's activities. The dream he'd forgotten remained so, an almost frightening blank in his otherwise flawless memory.

Recalling his embarrassing reaction, he winced. He could barely believe that he'd clung to his companion so tightly, just as he couldn't believe that the man had allowed and even encouraged it. Remembering that was even more humiliating, how he'd begged for anything the other was willing to give, even though he knew he shouldn't. His memory provided him with feelings and images, almost as if it were eager to mock his weakness.

Shivering briefly, he wondered what the older man must think of him, knowing that his desperate pleas for release must have sounded terribly whorish. Even that had not been enough, he'd all but demanded to be taken, urging the man to his limits and beyond..

His skin prickled with remembered heat, and he bit his lip hard enough to bleed as his heart began to pound. Confusion dampened the feeling slightly, but the lingering scent of his captor on the sheets was nearly maddening, making the Exorcist gasp as a bolt of arousal struck him. His breath hitched painfully, startling him into rising. He couldn't be feeling this, not so soon..!

 _'I want him,'_ He thought, shaking his head in disgust. _'He spent half the night fucking me, and the first thing I think about is wanting more!'_

Ignoring his aching muscles, he stood, pulling his shirt on almost angrily. The soreness only reminded him of it's cause, and again he nearly staggered at the urgent leap of his pulse. Sinking into the man's desk chair, he sighed. Remembering that the other kept a watch in the desk, he searched briefly, pulling it out and flipping open the lid. Seeing that it was close to three o' clock, he shook his head in disbelief. As far back as he could recall, he'd never slept so late, even after being injured on a mission.

But then again, he'd never spent three days fucking a man that he was supposed to hate.

The thought provoked another wave of memories, the hot slickness of a tongue on his skin, the rasp of teeth... Clenching his hands tightly, he struggled to breathe, every nerve afire with a longing ache. Riding out his shivers, he laughed at himself, inspecting the shallow cuts left by his short nails.

"Stupid," He muttered, wiping the slowly oozing wounds on the black fabric of his pants. "Stupid fucking _child_ , whining over a dream!" He slumped back against the chair, closing his eye.

_'Not a child.. A **whore.** A stupid, whining whore that can't even control his own body. **Pathetic**.'_

He shuddered at the thought, his hands clutching the arms of the chair.

_'You always get what's coming to you, when you want the wrong thing.. How many dreams were just like this, begging for every inch of a murderer's body while he fucked you like an animal?'_

Remembering his nocturnal transgressions, he growled, disgusted by the unwitting lust he'd felt for a complete stranger. The image of the miner he'd met on that long-ago train had been a guilt-laden plaything, fueling his hormones like coals on dry paper. At first, he'd pushed the other's face away, but after several all-too-clearly recalled dreams that left him panting amidst tangled, sticky sheets, he's stopped denying the depth of his blasphemous attraction.

_'After imagining those hands, **his hands** , on you when you touched yourself, there's nothing left to complain about, not when the real thing is so much better.. Even when it hurts, it hurts so damn good.. Why fight, if there's nothing else worth having? And there isn't. **There never was.** '_

Shaken at the utter darkness of his thoughts, he rose from the chair with a choking denial, blinking rapidly at the futile sting of tears. He knew that the reasoning was correct, no matter how hard it was to accept the words in his mind. He'd allowed himself to be consumed by his passion for another man, an enemy that he had sworn to destroy at any cost. The second meeting with that man had been his final humiliation, his stomach twisting with self-hating nausea as the skin he'd secretly craved turned from deep olive to ashen grey..

_'And you still wanted that skin, wanted to feel the heat of it against your back.. Even those hateful demon eyes, you moaned like a bitch in heat when you imagined them watching you while you begged..'_

Wiping his face with a hand, he strode to the bathroom, turning on the cold water to splash his burning face. Looking up at himself in the mirror, he flinched at his ragged appearance, the faint shading beneath his eye giving silent testament to his lack of rest.

_'It doesn't matter what you look like, he calls you **Lovely** , doesn't he? His lovely little whore, just like a rat that he picked up out of the gutter to play with.. How long will it be fun, before he gets tired of seeing you on your back or on your knees? I wonder if he'll finish you off like he started, with teeth at your throat while you bleed out your stolen life?'_

The memory of the man's passion-induced bite and his reaction to it left him staggered with sickness, retching violently into the basin of the sink. Gasping for air, he leaned his head against the cool surface of the counter, shaking his head. "Not a rat.. 'M not like that, he promised.. He won't-"

_'Won't what? Grow tired of seeing a pathetic **human** playing at nursemaid? He might be mad, but he's lived this long without your useless presence. You could die now, and he'd forget you just as quickly as the last whore he bedded. Just a thing to be disposed of, just like the rest of his trash.'_

Lavi shuddered, breathing heavily. "He wants me here, he could have killed me! He needs-"

_'Why would he kill a perfectly good fuck toy? That's what he needs, a way to work off all that pent-up want. Better keep him satisfied, or he might go find another toy.. Maybe a sweet little thing that he can wrap around those talented fingers.'_

Bolting to his feet, the boy gripped the edge of the counter to steady himself. "He wouldn't.. He won't! He said that I'm his, so that makes him **mine!** " He stiffened at the sound of his own voice, the possessive tone shocking him. Facing his reflection in the mirror, he shook his head. "He said he wanted.. God, I can't give him what he wants! I **told** him that I can't! Dammit!"

_'That's right. He'll get tired of that, and find someone who can.. He might be looking now. The little performance last night was probably enough to get him thinking.'_

Taking a deep breath, he shook his head, turning away from the mirror. "He said it was enough to be mine.." He whispered, forcing down his anxiety. "Last night doesn't matter, he let me hold him like that for nothing.. He wanted to be with me, after we were done!" The inner voice laughed tauntingly.

_'But he's **not** yours, is he? You can't give him anything more than an easy lay.. You're just a body to warm the bed. But why fret over it? Forget how useless this you is, and let the rest have a turn.'_

He walked to the aforementioned bed, jerking the sheets and blanket straight as he struggled to ignore the presence of a single dark hair upon the nearest pillow, the coiled strand drawing his eyes again and again before he finally completed his task. "This me isn't useless, he said he wants to keep me! He doesn't even know about the other ones.." Sinking down to sit on the bed's edge, he rubbed at a singularly tense area just below his spine. "If I acted like some of them, he really would want me to leave! The last one-"

_'Had whatever he wanted, because **he** wasn't afraid to take it. You could stand to be more like that, taking and having for yourself instead of infantile clinging.'_

Clenching his fists, he nodded. "I **know** he was stronger! But I can't be like that anymore, that life is over!" Blinking in surprise at himself, he shook his head. "That person doesn't exist.. Even if I remember it, that can't bring back someone that's gone!" The voice was softer, the tone less harsh.

_'You never decided that.. The old man took that person away, but you could bring him back..'_

He bit his lip in thought, remembering how simple things had seemed before he became _Lavi_. "I can't." He finally whispered, sighing tiredly. "The change is absolute, I can't be that person anymore." The reply was still soft, far removed from the spiteful words of before.

_'Maybe not.. But there's still a bit left behind, isn't there? You could open yourself like the old man does when he needs one of the Other's memories, and let some of him come through..'_

Stiffening, he shook his head. "I can't do that by myself, I might break what's left of **this** me's persona.. I wouldn't have anyone to wake me back up, if I tried it alone."

_'Don't go too deep. **He'll** be back, and you know you'll sense him near you.. That would wake you up.'_

Tucking his bare feet beneath him, he slumped. "I don't get that, either.. I know what I said, but shouldn't I be afraid, even a little? He gets so angry, but I still.." He tapered off, closing his eye. "I've got to work harder, so he won't be like that anymore! He's not the person he was, he's been kind to me.."

_'Then make him **yours**. He'll be happy, and you can keep him just the way you wanted to.. You only need to be a little stronger, and there's a stronger self to use.. Isn't he worth it?'_

"Yes! But that won't change anything, I still can't.. I won't feel anything back!" He shook his head in frustration, leaning back against the headboard. "He wouldn't be happy like that, he could have pointless sex with anyone he wanted!"

_'But he said that he wants **you**. You can't expect him to change if you won't change for him.. And you **could.** Are you that selfish?'_

He shivered at the faint thrill brought on by the thought, forcing it away in favor of more pressing matters. "He doesn't know anything! If I _did_ try to change, he wouldn't even be able to tell.." He sat up quickly, his eye wide. "He really wouldn't.. I _could_ try, a little.. Maybe it won't take very much, just to be more..confident."

He moved to the edge of the bed, taking a deep breath in readiness. Forcing himself to relax, he allowed his thoughts to drift back to his time before the Order, looking past the memories themselves in favor of more personal things, the sense of _who_ he'd been. It was surprisingly easy, and he wondered if the hallucinated battle with the other man's sister had damaged more than just the current persona he'd adopted. Ignoring the feeling of _wrongness_ at his course of action, he closed his eye, examining the things that separated **this** him from the other.

_'See? Strength, determination.. It was the drive to achieve a goal that was different. As you are, you would **ask** before you take.. Would that really be of any use, now?'_

And he _did_ see. The person he'd been most recently would never have felt pity so easily, or cared that his captor was less to blame than it seemed. **That** person would only have seen that this was the one he'd wished for, and used the chance he'd been given to _have_ the thing he desired.

It was unsettling, to think that he'd been so different in so short a time, but even the less appealing parts of that person had been an advantage. People had never been willing to openly ridicule him as they did now, not when it was clear that he wouldn't react well. Imagining the other's reaction to Kanda or Komui's... _unique_ personalities was almost humorous, but he shook off the urge to laugh as he concentrated on just **how** he could change his nature with subtle adjusting.

Pushing tentatively at the intangible wall between _then_ and _now_ , he shivered at the sensation it produced, almost like a cold draft in his head. There was resistance, but nothing that felt impenetrable, not like it had always seemed before. Setting the thought aside for later consideration, he focussed on the division, drawing the things he sought closer to the surface of himself.

_'Just.. a little more..'_

_**There.** _

He _knew_ he'd found it, there was nothing _Lavi_ about the feeling of these memories, not with the sharply defined edges of self-righteousness and willpower. Allowing the sense of that other person to come forward, he impressed them into the less-firm definition of **this** person, replacing _wonder_ and _hope_ and _wish_ with the other's _**know**_ and _**will**_ and _**have**_.

At first, there was no change, and he growled in frustration. Then, it was almost as if something _tore_ in the back of his head, the feeling of pressure and pain and _fear_ jumbling together in a single instant of agony that pitched him headlong to the floor. He thought he must have screamed, but there was no sound save the panicked rush of blood in his ears, the accompanying heartbeat erratic enough to be frightening as he clutched at himself unconsciously.

Gasping for breath, he laughed at the receding terror despite his violent trembling. " _Fuck._ Maybe not the best plan.." He reached blindly for the edge of the bed, pulling himself up to sit as he shook off his rattled nerves. Breathing deeply, he noticed immediately that his uncertainty had dissipated, though the thinly-veiled urge to have more of his captor's.. _attentions_.. remained.

"Well, at least I'm not so damned afraid of it anymore." He muttered, blinking away the remnants of his pained tears. "I should have told him not to take off like that before I went to sleep, but he should have _known_ that I wouldn't like being stuck here like this.." Frowning at the room's emptiness, he leaned back on his elbows, closing his eye with a snort. "Maybe he'll be here soon, it's not like he has anything else to do.. I can think of a few things that need doing, though."

Again, his mind provided him with images and sensations of their previous activities, but rather than disgusted arousal he felt _heat._ Half-expecting the inner voice to comment, he laughed at his rising pulse as he lay back on the soft blanket. Trailing a finger along his chest in tandem with the other's remembered touch, he sighed. "Mm. _Definately_ something that needs done.. For once I'm glad my memory's so good."

Imagining his teacher's horrified expression at this particular use of his finely-honed memory, he snickered. "Oh well. He _did_ say I needed better concentration.." Feeling the slight displacement of air nearby, he sat up, turning toward the faint step beyond the room's closed door. "Finally.." He muttered, stretching absently. "Maybe he won't mind having a little _talk_ about what he's gotten himself into.."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tyki materialized at the entrance to his room, deciding that it may be best to avoid startling the boy he could sense was within. There was an unfamiliar edge to his presence, lending a feeling of unease to the man's already unsettled thoughts. _'Perhaps he's annoyed at being left for so long.'_ He mused, reaching for the doorknob. Turning it, he pushed the door open slowly, his eyes scanning the room in search of the younger boy as he stepped inside.

Seeing him seated on the edge of the bed, he relaxed at his seeming calm, shrugging off his heavy coat. Hanging it carelessly on the hook beside the door, he toed his shoes off with a contented sigh. "Horrible things.." He muttered, turning to address his companion. Finding himself nearly face-to-face with the Exorcist, he jumped in surprise. "Lavi! Gods, now I see why you dislike that so.. Lavi? What's wrong?"

The redhead began to reply, his mouth closing abruptly as he sniffed curiously in the older man's direction. Leaning closer, he inhaled deeply, raising his head to glare at the surprised man. "Where did you go?" He asked, his soft question belying the tense set of his shoulders. Blinking at his intense stare, the former Noah cleared his throat.

"The post office, to send the letters I finished last night. You were still sleeping, so I thought it best to-" Lavi snorted, cutting him off.

"To find another way to entertain yourself? If you were that desperate, you could have woke me up and saved yourself the trouble of finding a _whore_." He waved a hand at the man's incredulous expression, ignoring his alarmed hum. "That's what I'm here for, isn't it? You could have at least picked one that didn't reek of cheap perfume, I hear that they usually do that to keep you from smelling the diseases they carry."

Laughing mirthlessly, he shook his head. "I hope you didn't wear yourself out, because I was just thinking about how hungry I am."

Tyki raised an eyebrow in confusion, something about the boy's tightly-controlled voice making him wonder at the meaning of his statement. "Lovely, I can assure you that whatever you're imagining is wrong. The perfume is from a nurse I met at the hospital, a particularly unsavory woman, actually. I wouldn't have lain with her if the very fate of the world depended on it."

Before he could explain further, he found himself pressed firmly against the door, a shaking redhead holding his wide eyed gaze as he pulled his shirt free of his pants. Working the buttons loose from their holes, the boy shoved the garment roughly over his shoulders, dropping it to the floor as he took hold of the older man's waistband.

"So, you let her do what you wouldn't let me finish? That's just great. Maybe I should be happy that you spared me the indignity?" He yanked the button free, batting at the man's hand as he strove to ward him off. Seeing a brief flash of color, he caught the other's wrist, turning the palm upward. Glaring fiercely at the clear red outline of a mouth, he all but hissed in fury. "God, you really do have them eating out of your hand, don't you?" Tugging the hand forward, he wiped the offending smear away with the hem of his shirt, ignoring the other's sharp inhale. "At least I won't leave anything like that on you."

Lifting the man's hand to his face, he pressed his lips to the palm, licking briefly at his skin before drawing a wet trail up the length of his middle finger with his tongue. Nipping sharply at the tip, he raised his head to stare at the older man's astonished face. "See? Not a trace. Besides that, I hope you cleaned yourself off, I'd hate to end up with some stranger's spit in my mouth."

Tyki shook his head quickly, pulling his hand away. "I didn't do anything like that with her, Lovely. There were things that needed to be said, and she refused to be silent." Taking in the boy's openly skeptical look, he sighed. "Is my word no longer good, Lavi? I swear to you, I did nothing but speak to her, it was urgent that she be still, so I covered her mouth to avoid unwanted attentions."

The boy leveled a blank stare at him, the expression softening slightly at the man's pained wince. "Fair enough," He said, nodding. "But since I'm already halfway there, I might as well finish what I started." Ignoring the older man's quick gasp, he sank to his knees, wrapping his arms around his hips as he pressed his mouth to the skin just above his navel. Tightening his grip, he held the man still with a hand against his back, pulling him closer as he closed his eye.

Hearing the other's low moan, he hummed quietly in agreement. Freeing one hand, he tugged carefully at the man's zipper, sliding it down as he licked teasing lines over his dark skin. Slipping his fingers beneath the loosened material, he pulled firmly at both pants and undergarments, leaning away to allow the other room to step out of them without halting his course across the plane of his stomach.

Setting the discarded clothing aside, he resumed his hold on the older man's waist, moving his head slightly to continue his explorations. Following the curve of his abdomen, he sighed against the sparsely haired skin, lowering his hands to stroke the sides of his hips. "Please don't stop me this time.." He murmured, avoiding the stare he could _feel_ the older man directing at his bent head. "I need to know that I can do this, Tyki."

Without waiting for a reply, he cupped his palm lightly over the man's hardened skin, supporting it's weight firmly as he stroked his tongue across the tip. Feeling the answering shake of his muscles, the Exorcist whined softly in response, repeating the action as his fingers shifted to allow more room for his eager movements. The sensation of hands digging carefully into his hair urged him on, his mouth opening as he sucked gently on the heated flesh.

Tyki shuddered slightly, fighting the need to pull the boy's head closer with extreme force of will. Closing his eyes, he leaned heavily against the door, an odd pressure reminding him of the twice-damned hat he'd neglected to remove. Stifling a snort at the utterly ridiculous image he must present, he shook his head in amused exasperation.

The near-silent noise prompted the redhead to pull away, his eye narrowing dangerously as he looked up. "What's so damned funny?" He asked, frowning at the other's smirk. "If it's wrong, say something! Don't just-"

Tyki shook his head, composing his features into some semblance of seriousness. "I'm not laughing at you, Lovely.. I was merely thinking that I'm overdressed for the occasion." He indicated his point with an upward glance, shrugging at the boy's muffled snicker. "Believe me, there's _nothing_ funny about what you're doing."

Lavi raised an eyebrow, shaking his head. "Good. But there must be a problem.. If you're able to think about your hat, I must be doing something wrong." He leaned in, resuming his efforts with more enthusiasm, humming contentedly at the man's surprised moan. Feeling the other's fingers tighten against his scalp, he slid his free hand down from it's place, stroking his palm over the lean muscles of the older man's backside to pull him closer.

Tyki gasped approvingly at his touch, cradling the back of his head gently as he increased his pace. The sensation of the boy's mouth was unbelievably intense, the slick warmth of his tongue drawing a ragged sound from the man's throat as he shivered. The noise seemed to fuel the redhead's determination, his grip tightening as he urged the older man on with a muffled whine. Struggling to hold himself still, Tyki panted harshly in anticipation.

"Please don't stop, it feels.. Oh God, Lovely, _please!_ " He arched away from the door, his voice failing him as he ground an urgent warning that the boy pointedly ignored. Feeling his control slip, he pulled his hands free of the Exorcist's hair, catching his shoulders as he bucked desperately forward. Lavi whimpered pleadingly, his movements unfaltering as he held the other's hips tightly in his shaking hands.

Tyki moaned in reply, the sound catching in his throat as the boy pressed closer, squeezing his hips in mute encouragement. The slight reassurance was his undoing, his back arching sharply as he cried out the Exorcist's name in a voice made rough by release. Lavi hummed softly, ignoring the slightly bitter taste as he pulled away, wiping his mouth with the back of one hand. Breathing heavily, he sat at the man's feet, still avoiding his dazed look until the other lowered himself carefully to the floor beside him.

Raising an unsteady hand, Tyki caught the boy's face, turning his head to meet his gaze. His face was lightly tinged with embarrassment, but his expression remained faintly challenging, as if he expected the man to chide him for his actions. Sighing quietly, the older man shook his head, using his hold to pull the surprised redhead in for a kiss. Leaning away for air, he laughed.

"Gods, Lavi.. Are you really so jealous? Your possessiveness is unwarranted, I hardly think I need another lover, if you're as eager as that.." The boy frowned back at him, his face still colored with ire.

"You said you weren't going to share _me,_ so I'm not going to share _you_! You said you were mine, didn't you?" He demanded, scowling at the other's surprised look. "What? I can be just as selfish as you, dammit!"

Shaking off the man's hold, he averted his face. "Don't just leave like that anymore. Wake me up, or leave a note, something! You're just _gone_ , and I don't even have any way of knowing if you'll be back!" Tyki blinked at him in astonishment, then frowned.

"You think that I would leave you here, Lovely? Just go, and abandon you here to die? Gods, do you really think that little of me?" He took hold of the Exorcist's arm, pulling him around sharply. "Look at me! Do you honestly believe that, Lavi? Even at my worst, I wouldn't have stooped to such a thing! I only left you asleep because you needed it, I didn't think it would upset you."

The boy flinched at his tone, but glared back defiantly. "You thought I wouldn't care if you were gone? That says a lot about your opinion of me, too!" Jerking his arm free, he stood, ignoring the tingle of returning circulation as he glowered down at the stunned man. "I didn't stay here for a good lay, Tyki! I can't give you what you asked me for, but I can at least give a fuck about what happens to you!"

Clenching his hands tightly, he shook his head. "You don't even understand _that_! After all the talk about family and love, you can't even grasp the idea of someone being worried about you when you're off doing God knows what! I was like that too, but the people at the Order changed me.. I can't care about them the way they cared about me, but after everything was finished, I _wanted_ to! They said that was enough, but it's not! Nobody should be left like that, outside of everything that matters! Even if I didn't want to help you, I owe it to them to try!"

Glancing around the room, he leveled a hard look at the brunette, sighing in frustration. "I've spent a lot of time here by myself, and I don't know how you can stand it, Tyki. There's nothing, no people outside, no noise, nothing! Just you and whatever it is that you think about when you're alone! It's no wonder that you're going crazy, that thing in your head is all that's here! You can't live like that, nobody can! Stop using this place to torture yourself!"

Raking a hand through his hair, he sank down in front of the older man, willing him to understand. "I don't think that you'd go off and leave me here, Tyki. I wouldn't have stayed if I thought that, not for anybody's sake." Looking away, he ignored the man's unclothed state, refusing to be distracted by the lingering traces of his desperate arousal. "When you leave like that, I wonder if you're okay. You might be damn near indestructible, but you aren't immortal, Noah or not! I don't have to be infatuated with you to worry, I can do that for almost anyone!"

Wincing inwardly at the thought of his former companions, he shook his head. "I told you that I don't think of you like that anymore, I look at it the same way that I'd worry about someone who never heard of the Earl! People die, Tyki. Some people just take a little more to do the job."

Facing the other squarely, he steeled himself against the man's wide eyed expression. "You don't have to tell me where you're going, just.. Give me a chance to say goodbye, in case you don't come back."

The memory of his own departure made him shudder, his chest tight with guilt as he thought of all the people he'd neglected to bid farewell. The voice that had mocked him for his uselessness returned full force to remind him of his unthinking cruelty, sending a wave of cold down his spine.

As if he could read the boy's thoughts, Tyki leaned in, his face intent with sudden comprehension. "That's what you did, isn't it? You thought you'd be safe, so you left without.. Oh, God." He caught the redhead's arm again, pulling him forward despite his faint struggles. "I didn't know, Lovely.. Why are you doing this? It doesn't make sense for you to stay here, not when everything you lost was directly because of me! Why would you want to be here?"

Lavi pulled back against his hold, shaking his head. "I don't know! I want to help you, but I don't know how I can! The only thing I do know is that you _need_ me here, even if it's just to keep from being stuck in this place alone!" Seeing the older man's surprise, he pulled harder, shivering at the feeling of his fingers sliding across the back of his hand. "I want to know some things too, Tyki. How can you sit there and look at me, knowing what I did? You should hate me more than anything in the Goddamned world, because you _hurt_ when you lost your family! You brought me here, and even though that took away _my_ 'family', I can't feel the way you did!"

He laughed, mocking himself. "We weren't even that close anymore.. They know that I don't feel like they're my family, not really. After the war was over, I couldn't even say that I was _happy!_ Nobody ever said anything about that, but I could see it in their eyes when they looked at me, that they were finally starting to get tired of caring about someone that couldn't return their feelings.." Avoiding the other's questioning look, he sighed. "Honestly, I think that _did_ hurt, a little. It sure as Hell wasn't just nothing anymore, but it isn't even close to what happened to you, Tyki." Facing him abruptly, he winced at the man's obvious sympathy. "You should hurt me, because I deserve it a lot more than you do! Every time you touch me should be like it was before, except that you shouldn't be worried about me liking it! You didn't take anything important from me, there was no one else that would have _wanted_ it!"

The older man stared at him in open disbelief, the expression almost comical if not for it's cause. "You don't value yourself at all, Lavi? No one should _have_ to want you for you to be concerned of your own well-being!" The boy glared at him in sudden anger, jerking away to avoid his attempts at recapturing his wrist.

"What would _you_ know about it? You don't care about yourself either! All you do is sit here in this awful place and rot." He rose to his feet, shaking with inexplicable fury. "You take better care of _me_ than you do yourself! How do you ever expect to be happy if you don't try?" The former Noah shook his head, rising to stand in front of him.

"Maybe that's why you're here, Lavi. You can remind me to take better care of myself, if I forget." Stepping closer, he noticed the other's abrupt stillness, a subtle shift of weight as if he meant to retreat. "Besides my personal disregard, is something wrong? You're looking at me like I might eat you, Lovely." He took in the tense set of the redhead's features, frowning at the deep coloring around the wound on his throat. "Does it hurt? You should be careful, I've heard that a bite can be worse than anything else.." Lifting a hand to the boy's collar, he pushed it back gently, leaning in to inspect the mark with a wince. Hearing the Exorcist's indrawn breath, he turned to look at him in surprise. "Did I..Lavi? Is it as bad as all that?" The look on his face was unmistakably fearful, but he shook his head.

"It doesn't really hurt, you just.." He faltered, closing his eye with a shudder. "Don't touch me." He managed, moving away from the other's light hold. "I need to be somewhere else, I don't want to look at you right now." He turned, forcing down the quick stab of arousal at the older man's proximity.

Tyki allowed him to go, watching his back curiously as he crossed the room with decidedly halting steps. The slight tremor of his hand was apparent as he reached for the doorknob, prompting the man to follow him despite his obvious aversion. "Wait. Are you unwell, Lavi? You're shaking, and you look feverish." He laid his palm against the Exorcist's cheek, noting his heightened color. "You're warm, but not overly so.." Humming in confusion, he looked again at the shallow wound on the boy's neck, jumping at the feeling of the redhead's hand on his waist. Glancing up, he blinked at the haze of lust in his widened eye. "Lovely..?"

The Exorcist shook his head mutely, his hold tightening as he leaned in, pulling the man forward as he rose to his toes to press their mouths together roughly. Feeling him stiffen in surprise, he lifted his free hand to the older man's neck, his fingers twining into his hair to hold him steady as he licked at his lower lip.

Growling at his slight resistance, he pulled back with a frown. "You should have let me leave, Tyki. I told you, I need to be away from you for a while." Seeing the man's dawning comprehension, he nodded. "Good, I don't have to explain. Now if you'll excuse me, I think it would probably be a good idea to leave the room with the naked man in it." Releasing his grip, he stepped back, scowling as the other moved to match him. "I'm not kidding around, Tyki! I'm sorry that I yelled at you, but not sorry enough to sit here and go crazy watching you prance around naked!"

Tyki shook his head in amused exasperation, backing the spluttering boy to the wall. "Lovely, I cannot recall a single instance of _prancing_ in my entire life. Besides that, why would you avoid me, if you know that I would be more than willing to alleviate your.. suffering?" Taking note of the Exorcist's diminishing ire, he smiled, leaning in to invade his personal space.

"It is a kiss that you want, Lavi? By all means, help yourself." He bent closer, pausing only inches from the other's upturned face. "Go on, I won't stop you.. I rather like it when you take the initiative." Raising an eyebrow at the boy's shaky reluctance, he tugged lightly at the front of his shirt, urging him forward. "Do I need to ask? Kiss me, Lovely.. Please?"

The redhead nodded jerkily, leaning in with a quiet whine. He caught the man's lips hesitantly, his eye shut tight as he lifted an unsteady hand to rest along one bare hip. His breath hitched painfully at the other's low hum of approval, the sensation of teeth against his lip prompting him to deepen the kiss with a moan. He followed the man's retreating tongue eagerly, his fingers digging into his skin as the brunette's hand moved down to cup him through the material of his pants.

Bucking into the touch, he pulled back with a strangled cry, his legs shaking with rising desperation. The man hissed softly in agreement, wrapping an arm around his waist as he continued his slow strokes.

"Do you want me to stop? I'll only ask you once, Lavi, so don't lie to me." He smiled at the boy's ragged negative, toying idly with the buttons of his shirt. "What do you want me to do, Lovely? It's too soon for me to take you, but I certainly wouldn't mind returning your incredibly generous welcome.." The Exorcist nodded rapidly, jerking his shirt free of his pants and pulling it over his head without bothering to unbutton it.

Staring expectantly up at the surprised man, he frowned at his soft laugh. "Well? Are you going to stand there snickering at me, or are you going to move your hand so I can take these off?" He indicated his pants with a nod. "You really pick the worst times to be a fucking tease, Tyki. Maybe I should start doing that to you, and see how you like it."

The older man blinked at the earnest venom in his tone, his eyes narrowing slightly. "I don't think you can do that, Lavi. Teasing means to tempt without the intention of fulfillment, and you seem very keen on _that_." Taking hold of the boy's waistband, he tugged at the button, working it free as he slipped a hand inside the borrowed garment. Pushing the zipper out of his way, he resumed his steady strokes directly against the redhead's hardened skin. "Look at you.. How could you tease me, when every inch of you is begging for me? You don't have the slightest idea of what real teasing is, Lovely."

Biting back a moan, the boy met his gaze evenly, the voice in his head raging at the other's casual dismissal of his willpower. Smiling brittly, he ran a hand up the man's side, pressing firmly against his back. "Maybe I do want it.. But it's not only me, is it? I might not be able to tease you like that, but I can sure as hell tempt you, can't I?" He arched away from the wall, leaning flush against the other's body.

"You're supposed to be the big, scary sexual predator, but I could make you do me any time I wanted it. You said it yourself, you _love_ to have me willing." Closing his eye, he hummed at the older man's momentary pause. "I don't know why you want it so much, when I know you've had better.. But that doesn't matter. Maybe it's because I told you that you can have it anytime you want it?" He traced down the man's spine with a finger, smiling at his quiet gasp as he drew meaningless designs on his skin. "You'd rather do that than lick me, wouldn't you? I'll bet you're thinking about it now, wondering if your carpet would hurt my knees if you fucked me right here on the floor."

He laughed at the brunette's stunned expression, shaking his head. "It wouldn't. I remember what it felt like under my back, and I can promise you that nothing we do on your carpet would be painful."

Seeing the man's eyes widen, his smile became almost mocking. Pulling the other's hand out of his pants, he took hold of his naked backside, yanking him forward. Using the wall to brace himself, he ground his hips into the older man's, moaning at the friction between them. "Mm.. This could be good, too. If you're worried about the floor, we could always try the wall.. You were going to do it like that the first time, weren't you?" He moved one hand to his waist, shoving impatiently at his pants. Growling in annoyance, he kicked them off, resuming his grip on the man's hip.

Lifting his head, he watched the former Noah's face as he repeated his deliberate movements. "You know, now that I really look at you, I should probably be thankful.. If I was going to have someone be my first, it's better that it wasn't an ugly person."

The older man winced at his flippant reference to his lost virginity, shaking his head rapidly. "No! That isn't something to be grateful for, you should have had a person of your own choosing.." He faltered, leaning down to meet the Exorcist's gaze. "I would undo it, if I could! I wish I had never laid eyes _or_ hands on you, Lavi. No amount of willingness or pleasure can ever make it right."

Snorting in amusement, the redhead closed his eye. "God, you act like I'm completely innocent, Tyki.. You don't have any idea what I was like, before you brought me here." He glared fiercely up at the older man, his hands still firm against his skin. "The first time I met you, I thought to myself, _'I bet he would be **so** fucking hot without those damned glasses.'_ That's why I couldn't believe that you were the same person, because you took them off the next time we saw you like that, and you really were. It made me _sick_ that I thought about you like that, and you were a Goddamned Noah the whole time! I didn't get anything I didn't deserve, for being stupid enough to want you!"

Tyki stared at him in disbelief, taking hold of his shoulders. "You didn't know that! Even when we fought, you didn't recognize me. You only wanted the person you believed me to be, Lovely." He leaned back, placing a hand against the wall to push himself away. "Is that why you really stayed, Lavi? Not just because of Rhode, but because you think that you _deserve_ this?"

The Exorcist shook his head, his hold tightening. "It was after that, too! I _knew_ what you were, and I still.. Damn it, you haven't done anything that I wouldn't have let you do, if you'd asked!" Clenching his jaw, he spoke through gritted teeth. "You could have brought me here without knocking me out, idiot! It might have taken longer, but I would have done it! The only one who hated anybody was you!" Closing his eye, he struggled to control his rage, the man's sharp exhale reminding him of his harsh grip. Forcing back his anger, he sighed.

"None of that matters anymore. What matters now is that we're both completely naked, and I still want you enough to make me sick." Loosening his hold, he looked calmly up at the shaken man. "Nobody needs to be hurting or begging, Tyki.. You can have me right now, if you want me." The former Noah shivered at his sudden quiet, his eyes wide with obvious anxiety.

"I..Lovely, I'll hurt you! You can't just keep doing this, it's.." The boy cut him off with a kiss, his hands now gentle on his back as he waited for a response. Feeling the man's muscles tense under his fingers, he urged him closer, humming contentedly as the other's lips parted invitingly. Accepting his silent offer, the redhead stroked his tongue over the older man's own, whimpering shortly when he returned the gesture eagerly.

Breaking away for air, he gasped as the man turned his attentions to his throat, his teeth pressing lightly against the skin at the sound. Shifting to allow him more room, he arched pleadingly away from the wall. "You said I should have.. had a choice, didn't you? Then let me choose!" He pressed urgently against the other's front, wondering why his overwhelming anger had faded so completely. _'Maybe I really shouldn't have tampered..'_ He thought, unnerved by the idea. _'It feels like I did it right.. But.. I want to **make** him do this.. Whether he wants it or not!'_

Feeling the older man pause, he shook his head mutely, pressing lightly against the back of his head. He stroked his other hand along one naked thigh, curling his fingers around the curve of his hip. "Please," He whispered, not bothering to hide the tremor in his voice. "Don't make me beg, if you want it too.. I don't care if it hurts a little, it always gets better.." He urged the man's head up for a kiss, his hand tangled in the thick mass of his hair.

"I really wouldn't have fought you, Tyki.. After all those dreams I had.. God, you wouldn't _believe_ how bad I wanted you, even the way you used to be." He shuddered at the feeling of a hand on his back, closing his eye with a breathless laugh. "I like this you better though.. You really are the hottest man I've ever seen." Hearing the other's surprised hum, he smiled, pressing closer. "I always heard that the devil is beautiful, but this is ridiculous."

Tyki blinked at him incredulously for all of a minute, stunned by the sudden praise. "Lovely, I- You don't have to.." Lavi cut him off with a nod, meeting his confused gaze.

"I know. I don't have to say anything, but there's no way that you don't know. Did you think it was just the Noah, making people want you?" Snorting at the man's continued shock, he stepped back, glancing brazenly over his unclothed body. "Jesus, Tyki.. I could get myself off just looking at you.. You're just.. _God._ " Looking back at the other's wide eyes, he sighed. "Never mind, Tyki. It's nothing you haven't heard before.. If you really don't want me, that's fine, but.." Clenching his hands, he looked away, ignoring the urge to demand more from the obviously reluctant brunette. "Don't stop me, when I try to leave. It's not your problem, so don't worry about it."

Tyki shook his head, moving forward to catch the boy's shoulders tightly. "You don't tell a man he's beautiful and then expect him to just let you walk away, Lovely.. And isn't it my problem? You say that I made you this way, so I should make it better, no?" He didn't wait for the other's reply, pulling him in for a searching kiss. Feeling the redhead's muscles tense, he leaned back, breathing heavily at the boy's needy expression. "Do you want to leave, Lavi? I won't stop you, but it would be a shame to waste a perfectly good seduction.."

Lavi scowled up at him fiercely, shaking with expectant adrenaline. "You _know_ I don't. I told you what I want, and then you started playing games." He pulled away from the older man's hold, walking around him to stand by the bed. "Come here, Tyki. Or actually.." He sank to his knees, bracing his hands on the mattress. Looking back at the man's astonished face, he smiled. "Here would be even better."

Tyki strode forward, pulling him to his feet with a growl. "I could have had you on the floor over there, Lovely. I hardly think you'll want your knees to hurt, too." Turning him around, he pushed him firmly onto the bed, following after a momentary pause to retrieve the still-present container of oil from the side table. "Don't lie to me if this is painful, Lavi. It defeats the purpose of keeping you here, if there's nothing but hurting."

Dimming the lights absently, he worked the bottle open, pouring the slippery liquid into his palm. "Spread your legs, Lavi. I think I'd like to _play_ a bit more, if you don't mind." The redhead nodded eagerly, pushing himself back to give the man more room. Leaning in, he stroked his hand over the boy's skin, relishing the urgent shivers that wracked him as he moaned. "Goodness, Lovely.. Are you like this already?" He pressed his fingers inward carefully, hissing as the Exorcist arched into the touch.

"Patience, Lavi.. You're going to hurt yourself if you rush this.." He moved his hand slowly, brushing against the place that drew a wavering cry from the other. "Do you really want this to end so quickly, when you could take as long as you wish to enjoy it? There's no reason to hurry, is there?"

Lavi shook his head rapidly, panting for breath as he dug his fingers into the blanket. "I don't want it to be over, I want it to _happen!_ Stop asking stupid questions and do me!" He ignored the faint stinging in his backside, reaching down to take hold of the man's arm. Jerking him up roughly, he cut off his surprised hum with a kiss, wrapping his legs tightly around the man's waist. Lifting his hips, he ground against the other insistently, leaning back to take a ragged breath.

"Don't tease, and don't ask if this is how I want it, either! I don't care how you do it, just hurry up and fuck me!" He lifted himself again, using his hold to draw the man closer as he whimpered. "Please..! I don't want to beg you for it every Goddamned time, Tyki! You act like I need convincing, and you _know_ I don't!"

He pushed away a sharp surge of anger, forcing his too-firm grip to loosen. "I woke up wanting you, Tyki.. It was so bad that I was almost ready to take care of it myself when you got here!" The man's surprise turned to disbelief at his statement, his eyes wide as he struggled to lift himself away from the boy's body.

"Then let me do what needs to be done, Lovely! I have every intention of giving you what you want, but I won't let you hurt yourself!" Shaking off the redhead's hands, he rose to his knees, locating the discarded bottle without looking away from his flushed face. "You said that no one needs to hurt, Lavi.. Did you lie?" He coated his fingers carefully, closing the oil tightly before setting it safely aside. "I won't tease you, Lovely, so please.." He lowered his hand to breach the boy's unresisting muscles, his movements slow as he resumed his preparations. "It won't be long, Lavi.. I don't like waiting either. Doing things like this is enough to drive me mad as it is."

The Exorcist's shaking increased as he moaned, his voice harsh and disjointed with urgency. "I want to make you like that! You feel- God, it's so good when you aren't holding back.. Don't do that this time, I need.. _Tyki!_ " He bucked desperately against the man's hand, crying out brokenly as he reached for the brunette pleadingly. "It's enough! I promise it is, so please.. Now!"

Withdrawing his fingers, the older man nodded jerkily, shuddering at the hard press of knees against his sides as he slicked himself thoroughly. " _Yes._ But be careful what you wish for, Lovely.. You may just get it." Taking hold of the boy's shaking legs, he lifted him sharply upward, leaning in to catch his mouth roughly as he pressed forward. Feeling the wordless mewl against his lips, he pulled back slightly, allowing him only a moment to adjust before establishing a demanding rhythm that left him gasping for air.

Breaking the kiss, he turned his face into the redhead's arched throat with a growl. "Like this, Lavi? You always tell me to fuck you harder, so maybe I shouldn't keep waiting for you to ask.." He laughed breathlessly at the Exorcist's rapid nod, his ragged cries driving him on despite his brief concern for the other's comfort. " _Gods_ , Lovely.. I hope this is really what you wanted, because it feels _far_ too good to stop.."

Lavi arched to meet his movements, his fingernails leaving shaky hieroglyphics on the man's skin as he clutched at his back and shoulders. " _Don't.!_ I want it! _I want it!_ " Speech failed him completely at the other's guttural moan, the low-pitched sound far more arousing than any words he could possibly have said. He could feel himself sliding backward against the blankets, the force of the man's thrusts pushing him steadily towards the headboard. A slight change of angle sent a jarring flare of pleasure up his spine, and he dug his fingers urgently into the sweat-slickened skin with a whimpered plea. The quick growl of acknowledgement in his ear was electrifying, along with the short press of teeth against his pulse, the two combining into a hopelessly erotic moment that brought his thinly held control well past the breaking point

Panting a desperate warning, he locked his ankles tightly around the older man's thighs, taking him in as deeply as he could manage with an almost feline cry of release. The brunette's answering howl made the brief stab of pain worthwhile, the sensations of heat and wetness inside him prompting a second wail from him as he shuddered violently.

For a long moment, there was nothing but harsh breathing between them, but a light touch against the man's back drew a hiss from him, even as Lavi noticed the cloying scent of copper in the air. Feeling a tacky stickiness on the skin beneath his fingers, he stiffened in horror at what he had unwittingly done to the older man in his passionate daze.

" _Tyki_..god..Oh god..M' sorry.." He whispered, jerking his hands away from the man's heavily scored back. "I wasn't...I didn't _mean_ to..! Please don't be mad, I didn't want-" He faltered at the sight of his bloodied fingertips, clamping his eye shut to avoid the other's gaze. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just wanted..!"

Tyki caught one of his shaking hands firmly, moving away from him with a soft murmur of discontent. Pulling him up to sit, he cut off his panicked apologies with a kiss, his free hand sliding behind him to rest between his shoulder blades. Ignoring both the boy's struggles and the faint twinge of protest at the movement, he kept the contact steady, licking questioningly at his lower lip for entry. Whimpering plaintively, the redhead allowed it, responding tentatively to his gentle urging as if he half-expected to be bitten.

Relaxing his hold, the older man sighed appreciatively at his cautious acceptance, pausing to nibble at his lip before pulling away. Seeing him prepare to resume his tirade, he shook his head, leaning in for a second time with a quiet negative. "No more, Lovely.. I know you didn't mean it, hush now." He swallowed the Exorcist's low whine, stroking a soothing line along his back. "Do you remember what you said to me when I bit you, Lavi? This is very much the same.." He chuckled at the other's momentary confusion, relieved that his sudden ranting had stopped. "I _caused_ it, didn't I? What you felt was enough to make you forget yourself, so much that you couldn't control what you did?"

The redhead nodded guiltily, pulling his hand free of the other's hold with a shiver of disgust. "I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have let it happen, but.. _God._ " He laughed quietly, taking a breath to calm himself. "Can I.. Let me see?" He leaned carefully around the older man, looking fearfully at the scraped skin. His hands clenched at the sight of it, the long tracks of his nails clearly visible even in the dim light. "Oh.."

He ignored the stinging against his palms, taking in the extent of the other's still-oozing wounds. Though they were shallow, the welts overlapped in places, leaving a gruesome latticework of lines across the width of his back, some places spanning the space from one side to the other completely. The worst of it was near the man's shoulderblades, where the cuts ran deeper and closer together. Hitching a breath around the lump in his throat, he returned to his place.

"I'll.. I'll clean it up, and..!" He jumped at the brunette's sudden forward movement, flinching back from the hand that rose toward his face. Tyki froze in the midst of reaching for him, astonished by his violent recoil.

"Why are you frightened, Lovely? I wouldn't.. Do you really believe that I'm going to hurt you?" He leaned back slowly, lowering his hand. "It's nothing to be so upset about, even the worst of it will heal by this time tomorrow! Didn't you notice that the cut on my hand was gone within the hour?" He held out the hand the boy had cut only days before, showing him the hair-thin line of a scar on the palm. "I told you, I heal much faster than a human does, it's part of the power I still have.. It wouldn't save me from something like a stabbing, but perhaps that's for the best."

Lavi slid to the edge of the bed, rising to his feet stiffly. Facing away from the frowning man, he shook his head. "It doesn't matter how fast it heals! Look at your hand, it still left a scar!" He stalked to the bathroom, hiding his pained wince with a growl. Snatching a washcloth from the pile, he wet it in the sink, swiping at his chest angrily. Rinsing it out, he reached down to scrub at his tender backside, pausing at the bright spatters of red on the white cloth. Biting his lip anxiously, he rinsed the material again, shoving it beneath the other clothes in the hamper with a quick glance toward the open door. He took another cloth in hand, soaking this one with cooler water.

He wrung it out carefully, returning to the bedroom in silence. Walking to the still frowning man's side, he sat behind him, dabbing gingerly at the lowest scratches. "I don't want these to be like that. You.. I don't want to leave any marks on you."

Tyki snorted quietly, turning his head to fix the boy with a stare. "Isn't it only fair, Lavi? _That_ looks like it's going to leave a scar.. You said I was yours, so it's normal that you would leave some proof of your _claim_ , isn't it?" He sighed at the redhead's abrupt stiffening, half-turning to face him. "If it scars, so be it. I can't think of a single person who has more right to leave their mark on me, Lovely." He stopped the Exorcist's imminent protest with a wave. "I can't undo what's been done to you, not the mark on your skin and not the marks that no one else can see."

Lavi resumed his careful cleaning, avoiding the other's eyes. "I told you I wanted it. I wanted everything you've done to me and more, before you had the first thought of bringing me here." He smirked to himself, shaking his head. "What we just did, too.. I wanted you just like that, even after I found out that you were.. It doesn't matter. You're completely right, I should be careful what I ask for."

He sighed at the man's revealed skin, the scrapes no less horrible without their cover of gore. "I hate to say it, but I don't know if this is really helping.. You should probably wash, or they'll get infected." He swabbed gently at a stray drop of blood, rising to his feet. "I'll run a bath for you, so just wait." He started for the bathroom, but the older man caught his wrist tightly, holding him still as he also stood.

"Will you stay with me, Lavi? I won't touch you, but I doubt I could reach my back alone.." He smiled slightly, amused at the boy's obvious surprise. "I'm really not angry with you, Lovely. I honestly think it was worth it, since you seemed to enjoy yourself so much.."

Lavi flushed a vivid pink at his lighthearted tone, stepping around him with a snort. "Yeah, I did. And so did the smartass I was screwing. Don't forget to hang your hat up before you get in the tub, you wouldn't want it to get _squashed_." He ignored the man's laughter as he entered the bathroom, muttering darkly about _perverts who talk too much when they're bleeding on the wrong side of the bed._

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Ha, isn't it just too bad that poor Lavi has to put up with such a cruel authoress? Well, Tyki too, since I don't really treat him any better.. But it's ok, right? See you next chapter!


	7. Fever Dream

NG7 - Fever Dream  
Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 7 - Fever Dream

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Also-  
Dear Fangirls: I would just like to say, fuck everyone who faves or alert adds without leaving a review, no matter how brief. Srsly, Fuk u with a pigpen fencepost. Now on with the fic.  
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Tyki shifted carefully, glancing down at the boy sprawled against his side. The redhead's face was relaxed in sleep, his breathing deep and even. Allowing his eyes to roam over the Exorcist's nude body, he shook his head, tugging the sheet up to his waist with a sigh. Turning onto his side, he propped himself up on one elbow, his gaze settling on the boy's bright hair, its color made even more brilliant against the dark material of the pillow.

Lifting a hand to the loose strands, he cautiously stroked his fingers over the coppery-hued swath, noting the surprisingly thick texture. He was stricken by the utter contrast of the boy's hair against his own olive-toned skin, for the first time truly _seeing_ the form that his revenge had taken.

Though his various memories of the boy assured him that his body was usually well-covered, his skin retained a sun-darkened appearance, the shade slightly darker along his arms and face. Closer inspection of the Exorcist's nose and cheeks revealed an almost transparent smattering of freckles, their innocuous presence drawing a quiet laugh from the older man. Shaking his head at his own foolishness, he continued his impromptu study, following the shape of the boy's face with similar attention. His feature were definitely masculine, but the effect was softened by the line of his chin and jaw, his mouth curved impishly even when at rest.

Feeling suddenly awkward, Tyki moved his hand away from the peaceful figure, a sensation of despondent guilt weighing heavily on him as he shuddered. The boy's obvious charms aside, he truly seemed to be an honest person, despite his assertions of unworthiness. Recalling his genuine remorse for his prior actions, the brunette winced in self-loathing. _'I should never have done this,'_ He thought, closing his eyes. _'Of all his fellows, he is the least to blame for what the Order has done.. Nothing he did was spurred by malice, even his battle with Rhode.'_

Feeling the boy stir, he looked quickly at his face, frowning at the sharply knit line of his brow. As he watched, the redhead shuddered briefly, his hands clenching tightly against the bedding. Reaching forward hesitantly, Tyki pressed a hand to the other's back, jumping in surprise when the boy moved closer. Blinking down at the top of the Exorcist's head, he pushed down his amusement, allowing the boy to settle himself before tugging the sheet higher to cover them both. A soft murmur of appreciation met his gesture, but the mildly troubled expression remained, causing the older man to wonder what he saw that could disturb him so.

 _'He called me beautiful..'_ He mused, closing his eyes with a silent laugh. _'I took him away from everything he had, used him like a whore, and he calls me beautiful..'_ Remembering the boy's indignant tirade, his thoughts sobered, and he recalled the first time he'd seen the boy in his white form.

Though his attention had initially been fixed on the boy's white-haired companion, a quick flash of color at the edge of his vision had drawn his eyes repeatedly to the other's brightly colored hair, distracting him from his rapidly mounting losses. When he had finally realized the extent of his now-reversed debt, he had internally chided himself for his interest, ignoring the quick spike of arousal at the boy's rather pleasantly formed features. The second time he'd seen the boy had been in battle, with a new uniform and a glint in his eye, the rage at his companion's seeming death still fresh enough to leave a raw edge to his hateful banter.

Past then his memory was intermittent, details of their final two meetings bleeding together until the point of his abrupt change in form. He could remember the boy standing before him in the last tower of the crumbling Ark, and he knew that Rhode had sealed him within her nightmare dimension, but his fight with the Walker boy had taken all of his concentration prior to the boy's evolution. The pain of having his inner self run through made clear memory impossible, but the awakening of his true nature had brought him face to masked face with the redhead for one last fight.

He had no memory of the smaller details of that battle, save an impression of fear and heat and blood.. the latter more of a tactile memory than a true impression. He remembered the boy kneeling painfully on the shattered floor, and the sweetly metallic taste of blood in his mouth.. Then there was nothing, until the Earl had retrieved him from the field and carried him away to be healed. The implantation of his sibling's Memories obscured all recollection between his revival and _that_ awakening, though a single look at himself in a mirror had shown him that much time had passed between those instants.

His reverie was broken by a jerky movement beside him, the boy's sleepy murmur sounding suspiciously like a name as he sighed. The Exorcist stirred again, rolling from his side to his stomach, the sheets sliding down to reveal the smooth expanse of his back to the curve of his hip. Tyki followed the faint ridges of his spine with his eyes, the relaxed muscles slack beneath skin that he found himself suddenly itching to touch. Remembering the way that skin had felt beneath his palms, slick with sweat and sprinkled with gooseflesh, the muscles tense and shaking.. Even the ragged sound of his voice was recalled with enough clarity to make the older man's pulse quicken with dizzying lust. Jumping in surprise, he found his arm already half extended toward the object of his scrutiny.

He lay perfectly still, his hand less than an inch from the boy's exposed skin. The urge to **harm** and **frighten** the Exorcist had faded to nothing, as if the others inside him had seen his resolve and changed track to accommodate it. The feeling now was to **keep** and **have** , to make this person belong utterly to _him_.

For an instant, he _wanted_ that, to take everything that the boy was and have it for his own, but the deep coloring of the mark on his throat drove the thought from him, a fresh wave of self-hatred taking him as he shuddered. _'I **will** not.. Even at the start, I wanted him to **choose** it.'_ The thought made him pause, his hand shaking where it still hovered over the other's back. _'But he did.. After what I've done, before I did this thing.. But he can't possibly have meant it, no pleasure I could give would replace an entire **life**..'_

Watching the steady rise and fall of his breath, he realized that he knew almost nothing about this boy, not even his age. **That** thought was deeply unnerving, his gaze fixing intently on the other's half-obscured features in something very like horror. He could remember the way he'd looked when they'd first met, with his dark uniform concealing the lines and maturity of his body.. And the bandana that he himself had removed, it had held the boy's surprisingly long hair out of his eye while also downplaying the youthful shape of his face.

Leaning back, he studied the Exorcist closely, his chest tight as he admitted to himself that despite his worldly manner and behavior, the boy was almost painfully young. Calculating the time from first glance to now, he shuddered in utter disgust at himself, snatching his hand away with a low sound of distress.

_He had raped a child._

Struggling to calm his quickened breathing, he shook his head. _'Not a child, but not far beyond it.. He can't have been less than seventeen on that train..'_ The logic did little to quell his rising panic, imagining Rhode as she had been, and even Jasdero and Devit, what any of his kin would have felt had this been done to their youngest..

His shaking intensified even as those youngest awakened within him, their presence for once alarmed and placating rather than malevolent or enraged. The sharp sting of sweat beading on his nearly-healed back was nauseating, the dull ache reminding him of how the injury had come to be.

He had taken this boy, a person closer to those he had loved than to the ones he hated, and forced him to pay a price far beyond his owing, over and over in so short a time.. And he had made him beg and plead for every moment of it, had made him enjoy it as if his pleasure in the act excused it. In his sorrow and madness, he had changed from the victim of the Order into something far worse.

He had become the monster that he had always feared.

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In his dreams, it seemed as if much more than a week had passed, his unfailing memory of the older man's expressions and mannerisms adding depth to his place in the boy's emerging impression of him. Despite the scarce opportunities to study the other's routine, his soft-spoken nature was clearly at odds with the near-vicious persona of before, making the sleeping Exorcist spin layer upon layer of supposed meaning to the change.

Mentally replaying his patient chore of letterwriting, the older man had shown that he was amiable toward things he saw as obligatory, but his passionate denial of harmful intent had given rise to an entirely new set of questions..

Sinking further into the displaced musings of sleep, Lavi wondered how it could be so simple, after what had happened between them. There was no lingering resentment, save that bit he held for himself, but it was far overshadowed by an unsettling sense of triumph, the feeling that he had finally been allowed to take a place of his own choosing, beside the one person he had never thought to have.

_**'Now do you see? All you had to do was stretch out your hand, but you lacked the will.'** _

He could almost hear the smile in the words, but what it meant was beyond him. "I know it now.. But does it always have to be.. like that? You made me hurt him, and I never meant-" A dry laugh cut him off, but the tone of the thoughts was unchanged.

**_'I didn't make you do anything, you did it all on your own.. But he liked it, didn't he? He's less delicate than you'd like to imagine, does that trouble you now?'_ **

He shuddered briefly, pressing a hand to his aching temple. "He's strong on the outside, but there's something _in_ him that isn't! If he was like that to the core, he would never have asked me to.." Controlling his defensiveness, he sighed. "He hasn't treated me like a prisoner, though.. He'd let me go, I'm sure! I just don't.."

_**'Oh, I know.. You don't want to go, not when there's nothing outside to go back to. Make this your place, then. Take what you wish from him until there's nothing left, and there's your place.'** _

Taking a breath, he shook his head. "Why does it always have to be **take**? This isn't about that, it's about-"

_'Keeping. Having. If you could, wouldn't you rather have him offer..?'_

He jumped in surprise at the soft voice, turning in the darkness to locate its source as it continued.

_'You could make that happen, without taking by force.. Give him a reason to want it, and he'd never set you aside.'_

Their point caught his attention, dispelling his anxiety at the sudden interjection. "Without.. But how? I don't know what to say, or what to do! How do I make him want something that I don't remember feeling myself?" There was a moment of silence, and he felt himself near awakening, but a quiet murmur drew him back to rest.

_'You could remember.. If you let me, I'll give you everything that you need. Wouldn't it be better, to give something back? We've been kind, haven't we? You only think it was never there..'_

He forced his thoughts into order, nodding. "I've pretended to.. But that wasn't real! It was just a part of the person I was, it wasn't the same as _wanting_ to make someone happy!" Breathing deeply, he sighed. "I don't want anymore hurting.. If you'd just show me how to lie, it isn't worth it."

_'You wouldn't be lying, if you meant it.. You want to give him that much, and he wants to have it. He **needs** it, doesn't he? You promised to try, so we will.'_

Nodding again, he closed his eye. "As long as you don't make me say something I don't mean.. Help me. Show me what I used to know, so I can help _him_." Relaxing his will, he cast his thoughts back to a place he'd been for only a few weeks, a tiny village that met it's destruction under the boots of an advancing army. He'd worked with his master as an errand runner, a job that had allowed him to deliver critical information to the commanders of one side while the elder Bookman had done likewise for the opposite forces, his earnest and softspoken persona lending a nondescript air to his presence as the recipients had discussed their plans.

_'We were always so kind to the lessers.. They told us more than any of the letters we read. We carried messages for them too, and they depended on us for advice.. He's the same, isn't he? He wants you to prove to him that even **he** can be worthwhile. If someone he believes to be good wanted him, he'd value himself more.'_

Absorbing the logic in the statement, he agreed silently, allowing the faint sense of that other person to become clearer. There was a wrenching sensation within him, but far less distressing than the previous one, and he shuddered at the oddness of it. "Should I.. Wake up? I can't really tell what time it's supposed to be.." The response seemed somehow _closer_ , not quite in his mind, but not outside, either.

_'The time doesn't matter. Sleep more, I already know what to do.. You hurt yourself, didn't you? I won't let him find out, I'll do something to keep him from asking any questions we'd need to lie about.'_

Sighing in relief, he was surprised at the depth of his exhaustion, but he knew firsthand that mental tasks were always more tiring than purely physical ones. "All right.. But I want to see what you do, so I won't really be _asleep_ , will I?" The feeling of laughter was indescribable, but somehow not frightening.

_'Watch us, then.. It's easier to have someone else doing all the recording. Do you hear something..?'_

He frowned briefly, wondering when the faint sound had begun. "You can't hear while you're asleep, I think I'm about to wake-"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Jerking awake, he blinked at the feeling of shaking beside him, looking up at the other man in concern. "Tyki..? What's wrong? Are you still-" He broke off as the brunette shook his head quickly, drawing back from his outstretched hand.

 _"Don't!_ You shouldn't be here, Lavi.." Shuddering in revulsion, he closed his eyes. "You're only.. How old are you, Lovely? How long has it been, since I saw you that first time? I never even knew your _name_.." He clenched his hands tightly, leaning away from the astonished Exorcist. "I should have stopped this before it even began, why would you choose to be here after what I've done?"

Pushing himself up, Lavi took hold of his shoulders, refusing to let him pull away. "Stop it. I already told you why, didn't I? And why does it matter how old I am, as long as I'm not... Wait, how old did you _think_ I was?" Sliding forward, he forced the man to meet his gaze with a gentle shake. "I'll be twenty this summer, if I don't get myself killed before then. You're what, twenty seven or so? That's not enough of a difference to worry about.." He released his hold slowly, lifting his hands to cup the man's face. "Don't be like this, Tyki. I meant what I said, about everything.. I honestly think you're the first person I ever really wanted to be with this way."

Watching the brunette's eyes widen in surprise, he blushed faintly. "It wasn't emotional, but still.. Who wouldn't want you, after seeing you half naked? You know how good you look." He laughed at the man's shock, shaking his head. "I might not have a heart, but I sure as Hell have everything else.. But you already know that, don't you? It hasn't been that long, but there isn't much of me that you haven't seen already." Moving closer, he caught the older man's mouth with his own, urging him to respond with a slow stroke of his tongue against the seam of his lips.

Feeling his cautious acceptance, he deepened the kiss questioningly, lowering a hand to press against the man's chest as he sucked briefly at his lower lip. "Does your back still hurt, Tyki..? I'd like to look at it, if you'd let me.." He smiled at the other's dazed nod, climbing across his legs to sit behind him on the bed. Biting his lip, he frowned at the still-visible criss-cross of scratches, though all but one were nearly faded to nothingness. Tracing the length of it with his finger, he sighed. "This one's not like the rest.. I'm sorry for doing that, even if you don't care." He leaned forward, pressing his lips to the skin just above the scrape. Hearing the brunette's quick gasp, he hummed curiously, repeating the light touch along the mark. "Is it sore..?"

Tyki shook his head jerkily, shivering at the feeling of the redhead's slow progress toward his nape. "Lovely, I don't think you should.. _Oh.._ "

Brushing the man's hair aside, he kissed the ending point of the scratch, burying his nose in the lightly scented hollow where neck and skull met. "Why not? I shouldn't want to make it better?" He slid his arms around the other's chest, splaying his fingers across the skin to hold him still. "You don't want me to..? I'll leave you alone if you'd rather.."

Taking hold of the Exorcist's hands, Tyki inclined his head just enough to glance backward. "I _wouldn't_ rather, that's the problem. You don't have to do that, Lavi." He closed his eyes at the boy's breath on his skin, still reluctant to enjoy the feeling. "Don't do anything for my sake, not unless you truly wish to.." Nodding faintly, the redhead shifted his attention to the side of his throat, his voice only loud enough to be understood.

"I wouldn't do it if I didn't want to, but that isn't the point. Do you not like to be touched that way? If its too much, say so." He followed the line of the brunette's pulse carefully, pausing at the silent tenseness of his muscles. "Is this something that needs _feeling_ to be all right..? I haven't been with anyone else, so I don't know if there's a limit to what people do when they aren't.. Together."

Leaning forward, Tyki turned around to face him, his hold on the boy's hands almost painfully tight. "No, Lovely! I didn't mean it like that, you don't need to worry about feeling anything! Do what pleases you, whenever you like.." He loosened his grip at the other's wince, shaken at the mixed guilt and arousal that came from the Exorcist's hesitant efforts. "Anything you would allow _me_ to do, that's the only limit. Lovers set boundries on their own, Lavi."

Smiling faintly, the redhead nodded. "Anything I'd let you do..? Then.." He leaned in, stopping just shy of the other's face. "I'd let you kiss me, if you wanted to.." Closing his eye, he pressed his lips to the corner of the man's mouth, sighing. "I'd let you touch me, too.. But you always ask me what I want, Tyki. What do _you_ want, really?"

He waited patiently for the brunette to answer, lifting a hand to draw meaningless designs on the skin of his chest. "Why don't you take a minute to think about it..? I'm pretty sure I can find something to occupy myself with." Moving slowly, he bent his head to replace fingers with lips, the sound of the other's quick breaths blending with his own soft hum. "I wonder.. We used the same soap, but on you it smells completely different.. Almost like liquorice." He licked across the dip of the older man's breastbone, lingering over a place that made him gasp. "Mm.. I always did like that flavor.."

Taking hold of the redhead's shoulders, Tyki pushed him back quickly, shaking his head. "Why are you doing this, Lovely..? It's too soon for any more of-" He faltered at the boy's pained expression, struggling for an explaination that would make him understand his reluctance. "You don't need to prove your willingness, Lavi.. There's more than enough time for us to talk about what bothers us, so.."

The Exorcist nodded faintly, allowing himself to be moved. "So you really don't.. Was I that bad, yesterday..? I know things like that get better with practice, but.. I won't do it again until you ask, Tyki. I just thought.." He bit his lip, cutting himself off. "I'm sorry, for not doing it right."

Stunned at his depreciating tone, the older man tightened his grip. "No, I didn't mean.. You didn't do anything _wrong_ , Lovely. What bothers me is why you did it at all, you shouldn't have been here to do anything with me!" He forced himself to meet the redhead's surprised gaze, internally flinching from the lack of fear in the other's eye. "Nothing I can do will change the fact that it was wrong of me to bring you here. Even if you say you wanted me, I didn't give you any choice at all! I _used_ you like that, and you would have.. let.. Oh, Gods." He closed his eyes tightly, unable to continue past the sickness he felt.

"That's a lie."

The quiet words brought his inner struggle to a halt, his head lifting as he stared at the boy in surprise. "What..?"

Lavi clenched his hands into shaking fists, calming himself with a deep breath. "You gave me a choice. You always do, every time you've touched me was the same! There's always something, an offer to stop, or a warning.. And every time you ask what I want, it's like you're asking if I want _you_." He gripped the other's hands firmly, pulling him forward with a frown. "This is the same, Tyki. You aren't doing anything to force me, not even _saying_ things to make me want you. I wanted to try for myself, but I don't know enough about you to see if you want.. It's fine that you'd let me do things, but I would rather wait until you _want_ me to touch you."

Sighing, he rose to his knees, closing his arms around the older man's shoulders loosely. "I know that I don't have to do things like _this_ , but why can't I want to? Am I not supposed to think about it, since you don't think you deserve that? I only wanted to make you feel good.. You really don't want me to?" He dropped his arms to his sides, sinking back to sit on his bent legs. "It's almost like you still think I'm lying.. Would you ever believe me, Tyki? You say I don't need to prove it, but.. What would it take, to make you trust me?"

Averting his face, he glanced at the man's stricken expression from the corner of his vision, shaking his head. "I don't have any right to ask you to, really.. If you call yourself a monster, then what am I? You thought it would make you better if you humiliated me, but I didn't have any excuse for wanting you.."

Ignoring a faint jolt of alarm from his resting self, he laughed. "Its sort of ironic, that you'd find me first.. What you did wasn't really punishment, but having you not want me.. Do you think _that_ would help you? You wouldn't have to do anything to me at all, and I'd still be-"

Tyki cut him off abruptly, jerking him into an almost painful embrace. "No..! I don't want that anymore, you aren't the one I should have taken!" Closing his eyes, he missed the slight upward curve of the Exorcist's mouth as he cupped the back of his head gently. "I don't know what to do now, Lovely. I'd be lying if I said that I don't want you, but I can't bring myself to ask for anything.."

Forcing down a smile, Lavi nuzzled at his throat, returning his hold. "If you never asked, how would I know..? Would you tell me if _I_ asked?" Feeling the man inhale sharply, he sighed. "I was going to lick you, before.. Do you want me to do that, Tyki?" He hummed softly at the quickened beat of the other's pulse against his lips. "You wouldn't have to worry about hurting me, and you could return the favor later, if you really wanted to.."

Lifting his head, he met the brunette's gaze squarely. "I promise I'll be better than I was.. And I promise I'll stop if you tell me to. Do you want it..?" He leaned forward slightly, trailing his fingers along the man's stomach. Watching his eyes widen in surprise, he lowered his hand to cup the hardened skin of his arousal, closing his eye with a quiet murmur. "Tell me why you can't ask me for something I already want.."

Shuddering breathlessly at the careful pressure of his grip, the older man shook his head faintly. "I want it too, Lavi.. Please..? I want you to.. _Oh, Gods_ please."

Pushing gently against the brunette's chest, the Exorcist urged him backwards, moving to rest between his spread knees. "You don't have to _beg_ , Tyki.. I told you I wanted to." He slid back, pausing to lick at the man's navel teasingly. "Show me what you like, so I'll know how to do this next time.." Taking hold of the other's hips, he glanced upward briefly, biting his lip at the openly pleading look in his eyes. Feeling his sleeping _other_ flinch guiltily, he shivered. "Please, Tyki. Don't think about anything else right now.."

Bending his head, he traced the tip of the man's erection with his tongue, his grip careful but firm as he repeated the motion steadily. Hearing his soft moan, he closed his mouth around the heated skin, jumping slightly at the sensation of fingers against the back of his head. The older man's faint shudders increased along with the Exorcist's efforts, his breathless noises growing louder and less coherant as he threaded his hands deeper into the boy's hair.

Pulling away slightly, the redhead licked at his skin teasingly, kneading the man's hips with his fingers. "I really do like this." He murmured, sucking lightly at the bend of the other's leg. "I _love_ the way your skin feels on my tongue.." He drew a line from base to tip, moaning faintly. "I don't want it to end, but God, I want to taste you.."

Tyki panted rapidly, his eyes closed in disbelieving pleasure. Tugging the boy down, he gasped at his immediate compliance, the feeling of his lips driving a spike of need up his spine as he bucked upward with a rasping whisper. "Please, Lovely.. You're going to make me come so hard.."

Humming an eager affirmative, Lavi moved his left hand to stroke the tightened muscles of the man's thigh, the touch drawing an inarticulate plea from the other's lips as he arched away from the bed urgently, his fingers almost painful against the boy's scalp.

" _Lavi..!_ Don't.. I'm almost.. _Gods!_ "

Startled by the intensity of his response, the Exorcist forced down his own arousal, concentrating on the desperate pitch of the man's voice as he lingered over a place that made the other's breath catch audibly. Feeling his hips leave the mattress, he slid his hand down to support him with a muffled whimper, the answering growl leaving him shaken with the desire to satisfy his lover.

Realizing that the urge belonged to the half-dreaming self within him, he spared a momentary thought for the Exorcist, his movements unfaltering as he moaned. _'Can you hear..? It was **this** that you wanted to do for him, wasn't it?'_ Sensing the other's reluctant affirmative, he tightened his grip on the man's skin. _'He needs you to want him this much.. Show him that you do and he'll be ours.'_

Turning his full attention to the man's lifted body, he intensified his efforts until the hands on his head became unsteady, the pronounced tremours giving proof of his approaching limit. The sting of his hair being held so tightly was almost shockingly arousing, the sound of the man's roughened voice driving him on despite the urge to seek his own pleasure. Ignoring his gasped warning, he sucked in a breath through his nose, the slight bitterness of his release ignored in favor of memorizing the tone of his impassioned cries.

Wiping his mouth carefully, he glanced toward the man's wide-eyed face, his smile both questioning and triumphant. "Better? I could always try again.."

The brunette panted softly, rising to his elbows with a faint laugh. "No, Lovely.. You've proven your point." He pushed himself upright, taking in the redhead's flushed cheeks. "I still don't think that I've done anything to deserve your concern, but thank you all the same, Lavi." Noting his slight frown, he shook his head, moving to pull the boy closer. "I won't dwell on it, if it troubles you.. Is there something you would rather discuss? Something like my _returning the favor_?"

Ignoring the quick leap of his pulse at the man's words, Lavi shook his head, allowing himself to be moved. "Aren't there any windows here? I know there have to be more than two rooms, since you've been going somewhere to get food.." He glanced around the half-lit bedroom, wincing at the almost bare appearance. "I just can't imagine staying like this for as long as you have, Tyki.. Even my room at the Order was more.. I don't know what to call it, it just didn't seem _empty_ like this does."

The brunette shrugged faintly, wondering at his sudden curiosity. "Why would I surround myself with meaningless whatnots, Lovely? There's no one here to see, and I have everything I require.. Does it depress you?"

The Exorcist scowled at his tone. "I'd think it would depress _you_ , since you're the one who comes home to it. Did you destroy Nyoibo?" The abrupt change of subject startled the older man for a moment, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"No. I only wanted to break **you** , Lovely.. But don't bother looking for your toy, I put it somewhere that you won't be able to enter." He tightened his hold when the boy leaned away, wondering if he should be on his guard.

Lavi struggled angrily, his expression thunderous. "Let go! I didn't ask for it, did I? I just wondered if you still had it! If you do, its another reason for you to trust me, because I wouldn't go anywhere without it!" He shoved himself back, growling in frustration. "I thought it might be nice to see the fucking _sky_ before you decide that you don't **require** a roommate anymore, but I was obviously out of my mind to think that you'd-" He closed his mouth with a snap, taking a breath. "I don't want to fight with you, could you please let me up?"

Tyki blinked in surprise, releasing his grip. "The only way in or out of this place is with me, Lavi. The house itself exists in a place that no one else can reach. It doesn't matter if I trust you, there's no way for me to send you on your own."

The redhead's look was almost scornful. "I assumed you'd come with me, dammit! I didn't want to go galavanting off all by my happy self, I just thought you might know of someplace we could go that wouldn't be right in the middle of a bunch of people!" He shook his head in disgust. "Forget I said anything, Tyki. I only wanted to get you away from here for a little while, but like you said, you have everything you need right here."

The man's astonished face was like a slap, his open disbelief causing the boy to clench his hands tightly. "God, you really don't think my word's any good, do you? You think I'm gonna take the first chance I get and bolt.. I said I wanted to stay with you! I _promised_ that I would, no matter what you end up doing to me! Fuck, if you think I'm plotting something, leave me here and go yourself!"

The frantic stirring of his other self went unheeded, his anger closing the connection between them as he raged. "I told you not to use me to hurt yourself, didn't I? What are you going to do, Tyki? Sleep with one eye open to be sure that I'm not going to _try_ anything? Its just one more thing to worry about, having someone here that you have to watch every second!" He forced himself to stop, remembering his promise to help. "You still have some power, don't you? Destroy my hammer, if you think I can't be trusted. Its the only thing I could possibly use to hurt you."

The sharp pain of the statement carried over from his other, the Exorcist's anxiety impossible to ignore. "Its the only thing that's _mine_ , you know. No one but me can use it, Nyoibo's like a part of me.. But I don't want it to be another excuse for you to stay like this." He shuddered in revulsion at the thought of losing his only remaining link to what he now was, allowing his other to come forward with a parting thought.

_'Sometimes, you have to **lose** one thing to gain another.. Do you think he's worth more than **that**..?_

The abrupt switch left the redhead dizzy, his vision fogged as he shook his head. Blinking rapidly, he met the older man's eyes almost fearfully, the tinge of gold there warning him that his next few words could be extremely dangerous. "It's something that you haven't _taken_ , so.. Just don't make me watch you do it, please?"

Tyki flinched back from the pleading tone of his voice, his sudden anger diminishing at the offer. "I don't need to do that, Lavi.. And I don't believe its the only thing, really." He took a breath to calm himself, reining in the urge to do as the boy said. Closing his eyes, he relaxed. "I'll take you somewhere if you truly wish it, but there's something that needs doing before that.. Would you like to join me for that as well?" He smiled faintly at the Exorcist's eager nod, reaching for his arm with a quiet hum. Tugging the other forward, he caught his mouth firmly, pulling back with a gasp at the fervent response. "Goodness.. Are you so pleased to be going away from here, Lovely? There's something _else_ that needs taken care of before either of the other things, I think.."

Lavi shook his head slowly, clutching the older man close as he shivered. "Not right now.. Can you wait until after..?"

Tyki smiled faintly, tightening his hold. "Honestly.. No. After what you did for me.. I don't think I could wait another _minute_ , Lavi." He pulled the boy closer, stroking his hand along the edge of his hip. "I want you to understand something about me.. Not the Noah I was, but the man I am now.." Guiding the redhead up to straddle his legs, he bent down to lick along his racing pulse with a smile. "I never leave myself owing anything.. Why are you shaking, Lovely..?"

The Exorcist closed his eye tightly, taking a steadying breath. "I don't know." He mumbled, biting his lip. "You don't _owe_ me anything, you know.. I didn't do it to get something from you, I just.." He faltered, shivering at the man's slow strokes against the skin of his back. "I wanted to make you understand, Tyki. It isn't about paying and repaying, I'm here because you gave me a choice and I made it."

He leaned into the man's chest with a sigh, resting his head in the crook of his neck. "Can I just stay like this for a minute..? Its like everything I say misses your brain.." The older man's quiet laughter made him smile ruefully, the loose strands of his hair tickling his nose. "You should pay more attention.. What if I actually say something smart one day? You'd be too busy molesting me to hear it."

Leaning back, he met the other's gaze evenly. "You can do all of _that_ that you want, but don't do it unless you want to. And stop looking at me like you hate yourself, its a real mood killer."

Tyki blinked at him silently, his lip twitching faintly. "How would you have me look, Lavi..? Like I'm pleased to have taken you? You were the wrong one to choose for what I had intended, but.." He pushed firmly between the boy's shoulders, tipping his head to almost touch the other's lips. "You may be the right one for _this_." Ignoring the redhead's questioning noise, he licked at the corner of his mouth, smiling at the boy's confusion. "You missed a spot. Speaking of which.."

He kissed the Exorcist fiercely, his hands shifting to take hold of his hips. Lifting his head for a quick breath, he hummed at the wideness of the other's eye. "Would you be so hesitant if I told you that I wanted this for myself..? That I watched you sleeping and had to stop myself from ravishing you?"

The redhead's continued reluctance was apparant, making the older man pause. "Lovely, is there something wrong? You should tell me clearly, because empathy is not among my strong points."

Nodding regretfully, Lavi closed his eye. "It isn't like I don't want you, I just wish you'd take a little more time to think about it.. I wanted to do something just for you, without having anything in return. Does that make any sense?" He laughed at himself, rubbing his temples. "I just think that later would be the best time, especially if there's something you need to do.. It feels like it's pretty late already."

Smiling faintly, the brunette nodded, releasing his hold on the other. "It most likely is, Lavi. Its odd, but since you came, I tend to sleep much more than usual.. Perhaps its the increase in _activity_?"

Lavi flushed brightly enough to rival his hair, shaking his head. "Or maybe its just because you're doing something besides moping. Do you want to go, before you wear yourself out being _funny_?"

Ignoring the man's quiet laughter, he made his way to the bathroom, glancing at himself in the mirror. Though his face was still faintly tinged with pink, he could see the effects of his restless night, but the darkness beneath his eyes was much less pronounced than before. Sighing, he turned on the faucet, splashing his face with the cool water gratefully. Hearing the older man begin to collect their cast off clothing, he closed the door, reaching for a washcloth to clean what little evidence remained of the previous night's activities.

After tending to his skin, he took the opportunity to make use of the facilities, wincing at the soreness of his backside and thighs. Biting his lip, he searched for the salve he'd used before, covering his abused skin quickly. Returning the jar to its place, he looked critically at his borrowed clothes, deciding that the shirt would do, but the overly long pants may prove somewhat difficult to manage. He shrugged off his remaining stiffness, opening the door to find his companion already dressed and waiting by the bed.

"That was quick.. But I think we might have a little problem." The older man raised a curious eyebrow, taking in his less-than-clothed state with faint amusement.

"Indeed.. As much as I approve, I hardly think you're dressed for the occasion, Lovely." He laughed at the redhead's scowl, shaking his head. "If you don't mind waiting for a moment, I may be able to help with that, however.." Waving for the boy to sit, he left the room, making the Exorcist wonder exactly what he had in mind. After only a few minutes, he returned, handing the redhead his missing boots with a smile.

"Just as they were, Lavi.. As far as your pants.. Perhaps these would fit you better than my own." He presented the other with a sloppily folded pair of trousers, the cut and style distinctly different from the older man's clothing. Shaking them out, Lavi hummed curiously.

"Looks like they'd fit, but.. Aren't they a little.. Nevermind, I don't think I want to know."

Stifling his humor, Tyki nodded. "Most likely not.. But unless you wouldn't mind showing quite a bit of _leg_ , there's really no alternative, Lavi."

Grumbling quietly, the Exorcist nodded, donning the slightly too-tight pants. Reaching for his boots, he gave the older man a sidelong look, snickering at the older man's obvious appraisal of his body. "Can we go, or d'you want to wait until you stop _leering_ at me..?"

Bracing himself for the pain he knew would come, the brunette smiled. "We can go whenever you're ready, Lavi. I don't need anything else, unless you'd like something to sit on later..?" The Exorcist frowned at his teasing hint, the reference revealing nothing of his plans.

"I guess we should, since it's your clothes that'll be getting dirty if we don't." He muttered, waving toward the wardrobe. "Go on, then. Get whatever you think would be best."

Tyki nodded shortly, crossing the floor to open the tall chest. Reaching inside, he sifted aimlessly through the linens until he found a slightly threadbare quilt, pulling it out with a smirk. "This should be fine.. Now, where's that- Ah, here. That should do nicely." He straightened quickly, showing the boy an equally well-used satchel. "It's a bit awkward, but better than carrying a blanket with you, yes?"

Tucking the folded material into the bag, he moved to stand beside the boy, chuckling when he snatched the light burden from him and slung it impatiently over his shoulder. "As you will, Lovely.. Stand very still, I'd hate to lose half of you on the way.."

Taking hold of the other's arm, he willed them to the alley just beside their destination, taking care to check the street for pyring eyes before stepping out of the shadows. "Here we are.. Are you all right, Lovely? You look as if you're dizzy." Lavi shook his head faintly, following him into the late-afternoon sunlight.

Watching the redhead's expression turn curious, Tyki allowed him a moment to reorient himself, motioning toward the steps. "Shall we? Don't forget, they believe me to be human here, Lavi." Seeing the boy's rebellious frown, he smirked. "I mean that they only know of my assumed name. I couldn't very well tell them about myself, could I?"

The Exorcist nodded reluctantly, joining him as he ascended the steps. "I get it, but why are we here at all? Don't tell me you need a check up." The older man snorted quietly, pulling open the door.

"Hardly. We're here to visit someone, Lovely." He waved the boy forward with a smile, joining him inside the hospital's smallish waiting area. Closing the door behind them, he turned to the nurse's station, inclining his head at the gleeful Sarah.

"Miss Porter. I trust that all is well?" Her happy nod was only slightly affected by her curious glance at the man's companion, her eyes moving between them as she rose to her feet.

"Oh, we're wonderful.. But I didn't expect you back so soon! Were you here to see Michaela, or does your friend need something?" Her careful phrasing was not lost on the elder of the two, making him wonder exactly how he should reply.

"Actually, we're both here to see her.. Oh, how rude of me, I haven't introduced you. Lavi, this is Sarah Porter, a nurse here. Miss Porter, this is Lavi, a recent aquaintance of mine.. We're on our way for an outing, so I brought him along with me before we go. Will that be all right?"

She beamed at the pair brightly, nodding. "It's perfectly fine! Would you like to go back now? It's almost time for my rounds again." She gestured to the hallway, stepping quickly from behind the desk to lead the way. "Bethany didn't see fit to continue on here, so there's only the relief nurse in.. You can stay as long as you like, I'll come back by when I finish the walkthrough."

Tyki nodded slowly, stifling a laugh at the Exorcist's persistant tug at his sleeve. "That should be agreeable.. Has she been fed?" Sarah shook her head, pushing open the door with a smile.

"Not just yet, it's been busy today.. Would _you_ like to do it? She seemed to enjoy the attention.." Her wheedling tone brought a faint smile to the man's face as he nodded, following her inside before turning to his anxious companion.

"Are you in any great rush, Lavi..? It wouldn't take long, as eager as she was the last time.." The boy shook his head in confusion, taking in the room with growing understanding.

"No.. It's fine. Anything you want, Tyki."

Smiling, Sarah made her way to the nursery door, calling back to the amused couple as she went. "I'll bring her out, just give me a few minutes to get her situated!" That said, she allowed the door to swing silently closed behind her, leaving the two alone in the room.

Scowling at the older man, Lavi snorted. "You could have just told me, you know.. But I don't understand exactly what we're here for. Is this where you went, before?" He shook his head at the man's affirmative, setting his bag into a chair. "You really are an incredibly strange person, Tyki.." The former Noah smirked faintly, setting his coat atop the other's pack.

"I never claimed otherwise, Lovely.. Ah, here we are." He nodded at the approaching footsteps, motioning toward the seats along the wall. "Let me take care of the matter at hand, and I'll explain a little more clearly after Miss Porter goes for her walk."

Biting his lip, Lavi sighed, seating himself to wait as the nurse reappeared, her arms wrapped firmly around a squirming yellow blanket.

Blinking at the tiny figure in the woman's arms, he turned to his companion. "Is that her..? I mean, she's the baby you found?" His eye widened at the man's slow nod, his expression incredulous as the brunette sank into a nearby chair. Motioning for the other to join him, he lifted his arms to accept the proferred bundle, carefully positioning the child's head into the bend of one elbow.

Sarah turned to leave, waving faintly. "Well, I'm off.. Call the nurse if you need anything else, and I'll be back in a bit." Reaching into her pocket, she handed a filled bottle to the Exorcist, nodding a quick farewell. "It's just warm enough, so take your time.. Have fun!" She left silently, wondering at the odd relation between the two. _'I must have misheard him, it almost sounded as if he called him- Well, his name was **Lavi** , so of course it was just my ears tricking me..'_

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Smiling faintly, Tyki nudged the blanket away from the child's face, revealing her bright hair and owlishly blinking eyes. "Hello again, Little One.. Are things better without the smelly old lady bothering you?" A soft noise of contentment spoke volumes, her hands waving happily at the familiar voice. He laughed quietly, offering a finger for examination. "I've brought someone to see you, if you feel like a bit more company?" Glancing at the stunned redhead, he smirked.

"Would you like to hold her, Lovely? She doesn't really bite all that hard.." As if to dispute his statement, she latched onto his fingers with a delighted squeal, her abrupt movements startling the redhead out of his disbelief.

"Says you.. But at least she doesn't have any teeth. How old do they think she is?" He bent closer, studying the child's size and features. "A week or so? I've never really been around a baby this small.."

Tyki nodded, smiling at the girl's curious noises. "She was still wet when I found her, perhaps a few hours old but no more.. They say that the orphanage can't take her in, so she's still here." Humming at the Exorcist's fascinated examination, he sighed. "I must say, she looks much better clean.. Would you like to introduce yourself, Lavi? I'll most likely return until someone else takes her, so you should at least be aquainted if you wish to accompany me.."

The redhead nodded wordlessly, bending closer. "Hello there, Miki... I'm Lavi. How are you?" He glanced upward at the man's confused hum. "Her name's Michaela, right? A little _nickname_ never hurt anyone.."

Snorting quietly, the older man shook his head. "Of course not, _Lovely_.. I merely wondered if you were planning on holding _Miki_ yourself, since newborns generally see best at about six inches."

Scowling at his amusement, Lavi sat back in his seat. "Well, _Tyrone_ , I guess I better, just to be sure that she knows which idiot I am." Passing the silently watching child to him, Tyki lifted an eyebrow.

"Indeed. You're the loud one with the red hair.. I'm the quiet one that removes the organs of people who call him Tyrone."

The redhead laughed, accepting the slight weight of the child. Shifting her carefully, he pushed down his sudden anxiety at just how small she really was. "Is.. Was she this little, when you found her..? The youngest one I knew was probably twice her size." His voice must have betrayed his nervousness, making the older man slide further toward him with a slow nod.

"She's grown a bit, but they think it may be some time before she's properly caught up with others her age.. She may very well have been birthed early. But other than that, she seems fairly well off to me, not that I'm overly familiar with babies myself." He urged the Exorcist's arm slightly higher, adjusting the placement of her head. "Like this.. And calm down, Lavi. I doubt there's much harm you could do by simply looking at her."

She murmured as if in agreement, blinking up at the boy solemnly. Leaning close, he smiled brightly, taking a breath to repeat his earlier greeting. Before the words could form, a stray piece of hair brushed her cheek, and she squealed eagerly as she batted the tickling strand with cross-eyed enthusiasm. Blinking in surprise, he allowed her to close her fingers around it, wincing at the continued flailing as she attempted to locate her mouth.

Gently disentangling the Exorcist's hair, Tyki laughed. "She tends to do that rather often.. But then again, I seem to have the same habit, at least as far as you're concerned. She may be hungry, would you like me to take her?"

Lavi shook his head faintly, biting his lip. "No, I'll do it.. You don't mind or anything, do you? I mean, you're-" He frowned at his tone, clearing his throat. "Its not hard, right? She knows what to do once she has her bottle.." He fumbled for the container absently, noting that the glass still felt warm to the touch. "I just have to hold it so she doesn't swallow air, and not let her have too much at once..?"

The brunette hummed in agreement, wondering why the boy's slight worry was so distracting. "She'll most likely stop when she's had enough, Lovely.. She sleeps when she's full." Watching the redhead nudge the childs mouth with the bottle, he was struck by the utter domesticity of the scene, shaking his head at the feeling of exclusion.

Looking up, the Exorcist frowned at his silence, thinking that he'd overstepped his bounds unwittingly. "Are you sure its all right..? You don't look very happy about it.." Feeling her squirm abruptly, he glanced down, alarmed by the mewl of discontent. "What am I doing wrong..? Does she always do that?" He moved the bottle away from her waving hands, unnerved by the answering half-cry. He turned to the older man quickly, his eye wide with mounting panic. "D'you think its because she doesn't know me? I should have let you-"

Tyki shook his head, catching one arm carefully. "She may be overexcited, Lavi. I sincerely doubt that she's old enough to simply hate you on sight.." Tucking the blanket around her arm, he gently took hold of the other, laughing in surprise as she clenched her fingers around his thumb with a growling whine. "Or she may simply be greedy. Try again, Lovely." He stroked his fingers across the back of her grasping hand, sighing in relief as she settled herself closer against the Exorcist's chest.

Nodding, Lavi offered her the bottle a second time, smiling as she latched on with a quiet wheeze. Flushing slightly, he laughed. "M'sorry about that, I just thought that I'd done something wrong.." Looking up at the older man, he sighed. "You're really going to keep coming, Tyki? Aren't you afraid you'll get attached..?"

The half-seriousness of his tone made the brunette smile as he shook his head. "I'll visit her as often as I can, but no. I doubt I'll have to worry about growing overly fond of her, since she _is_ rather a good candidate for adoption.. She'll most likely be gone within the month, wouldn't you think?"

Glancing over the child's visible body, the Exorcist hummed. "She looks perfectly healthy and all, but.. I wouldn't have thought that someone could have just left her like that. Was she sick, or anything like that when you found her?"

Tyki shook his head, carefully adjusting the bottom half of her wrappings. "She was awake, and didn't seem unwell, but she has a mark-" He pointed to the bright spot of red on the sole of her foot, smiling when the faint touch made her squirm. "But this was the only imperfection I could see. Miss Porter never mentioned a defect of any kind, so.."

Eyeing the birthmark closely, Lavi frowned. "That's it? Well, that's just stupid.. I had something like that on my back when I was a kid, and it went away on its own when I was only about 12.." Narrowing his eye, he tightened his grip on the now-dozing infant, shaking his head in obvious disgust. "She's better off here, then. If her mother did that to her, she didn't deserve a baby in the first place."

The older man nodded in agreement, rewrapping her feet. "I thought the same thing myself, actually. But now that she's sleeping.." He raised an eyebrow at the redhead's curious look, sliding back into his chair with an expectant hum.

Snickering quietly, Lavi nodded. "Oh, of course. The almighty hater of humanity wants his baby back.. Excuse my coughing, I think there's a frog in my throat." Handing the child to the waiting brunette, he coughed unconvincingly. "There it goes again.."

Positioning the baby's head carefully, Tyki nodded. "Indeed. It must be delayed reaction from earlier.. I'm sure the nurse would bring you some water if you needed it, Lavi." Laughing at the boy's indignant blush, he relaxed, recovering the child's loosely fisted hands with a corner of the blanket. "I never really _hated_ people, Lovely.. It was more that I killed from necessity than malice. I did keep a part of myself in league with humans, but in the end it didn't save them, did it?" He sighed quietly, avoiding the Exorcist's questioning look. "And she isn't mine, unless you believe that saving a life gives me claim to it.."

Blinking in surprise, Lavi shook his head quickly. "I didn't mean it like that, I was only joking, Tyki." Leaning close, he forced the man to meet his gaze. "You aren't responsible for a life you save, either.. So why are you here at all?"

The brunette smiled faintly, shrugging. "I don't really know, Lavi. I do a great many things for no reason." Staring at the Exorcist meaningfully, he shook his head. "You make a valid point, however.. She's no more mine than you are." He turned toward the sound of approaching footsteps, glad for the interruption. "Are you ready to go, Lovely..? I believe Miss Porter has finished her rounds.."

He didn't wait for a reply, rising to his feet as the woman pushed open the door. "We must have bored her, she fell asleep on me again." He smiled, handing the child to the grinning nurse. "But then again, I suppose she should get all the rest she can manage now, yes?" Sarah nodded happily, her gaze skipping from the sleeping babe to the oddly matched couple and back.

"She's doing well, even though she's still a bit small.. Did you enjoy your visit, Mr. Lo- Er, Lavi?" She flushed at her almost-error, sighing in relief when the younger of the two seemed to miss her unwitting slip.

"Oh, yes. She's a cutie." He smiled winningly, passing her the emptied bottle carefully. "I was just telling _Tyrone_ here that he'd better watch out, or she'll have him hooked." Snickering at the man's short growl, he retrieved his pack from the seat, holding the man's coat out innocently. "But I should be careful too, since I'll probably come back when he does.. If I survive the day, that is." Nodding politely, he waited for the brunette to don his coat, waving at the softly snoring bundle. "Bye-bye, Miki.. It was nice meeting you!"

Tyki squelched the urge to throttle the impishly grinning boy with effort, offering a hand to the confused nurse. "As always, a _pleasure_.. And as he says, we'll most likely be seeing you again soon. Good day, Little One, Miss Porter.." Turning away from the woman's amused face, he scowled at the waiting Exorcist, opening the door quietly. Making his way to the front door, he ignored the quiet snorting from his side, pushing the outer doors open with a sigh.

"Lavi, sometimes I think that you must have been a very clumsy child.. One that often had occasion to fall on its head." Glancing at their surroundings, he noted the lengthening shadows with surprise, reaching into his pocket to check his watch. "Already half-past 6..? My Goodness, no wonder you're delerious, you must be suffering from low blood sugar." He caught sight of a brightly striped canopy near the street's end, closing his watch with a snap. "Would you like to eat something before we go, Lovely? It seems a bit foolish to go home when we've just left."

The redhead blinked at him in surprise, wincing as his stomach grumbled faintly. "Ah.. We should. _You_ should, you haven't had anything either, right..?" He frowned at the man's negative, elbowing him gently in the ribs. "Let's do that then, so you don't die of malnutrition. What did you have in mind?" He followed the brunette's line of sight, nodding. "Looks like a nice place.. Come on, I want to see where we're going before it gets too dark to appreciate your _generosity_."

Shaking his head at the Exorcist's impatience, Tyki allowed himself to be pulled in the direction of the small cafe, wondering if the day's final destination would meet the boy's obviously high expectations.

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Couldn't you just _die_?  
Well, I guess thats that. Until the next chapter, keep your noses clean P:


	8. Blind Oracle

NG8 - Blind Oracle  
Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 8 - Blind Oracle

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Now, I usually don't do this, but no one really believed I had the balls to, so..

 **Disclaimer of D-zeez:** I don't own this. No one pays me for it. And no eavesdropping bimbos were harmed in the writing of this fic. This chapter may be hazardous to your health. Warning signs include dizziness, rapid pulse, prolific bleeding from the nostrils and swine flu. Contact the CDC immediately and stop use if you experience any of these symptoms.  
PS- Wash your hands before using the phone.

And in addition to that:  
Dear Fangirls: I would just like to say, fuck everyone who faves or alert adds without leaving a review, no matter how brief. Srsly, Fuk u with a pigpen fencepost. Now on with the fic.  
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Watching the older man carefully, Lavi wondered if he knew that eating was supposed to be a completely non-sexual activity.

After the first nearly-untasted bite of his own food, he decided that perhaps he should be grateful for the proximity of the other diners, as their presence forestalled any rash actions on his part. After the seventh, he recanted the thought and wondered if the brunette truly meant to appear so utterly seductive. A slow glance and a thoughtful lick at the tip of his fork assured the boy that he did.

Swallowing heavily, he reached for his glass, unsurprised to find it nearing empty. Leaning forward, he kept his voice low enough to avoid drawing attention. "You _do_ realize that you're killing the girls across from us, don't you..? The blonde one keeps making a chokey kind of sound.."

Tyki hummed curiously, wiping his mouth with his napkin. "Oh? I hadn't noticed them.. I was more concerned with you, Lovely. Contrary to what I've heard, pink rather seems to suit you."

The redhead ignored the heat in his cheeks, scowling. "That's nice. Do you think you could turn off the pheromones for a bit? I'd like to actually remember what I'm eating.."

The older man raised an eyebrow, looking from the boy's flushed face to his plate and back. "Is it not to your liking, Lavi? Maybe you should have gotten the same thing I did, its wonderful.. See for yourself." Without waiting for a reply, he speared a fragment of meat with his fork, extending his arm across the table with an all-too-innocent smile.

Blinking at the man in stunned disbelief, the Exorcist leaned back as far as his highbacked chair allowed, shaking his head. " _Tyki_! Cut it out, you're making a scene.."

Laughing quietly, the brunette nodded, fork still held out expectantly. "Indeed.. But the longer I stay like this, the more people will see, Lovely.. Shouldn't you hurry?"

Blushing furiously, Lavi muttered something unintelligible, leaning forward hastily. Hearing the silence to either side of their table, he caught the man's eye mutinously. "If that girl dies, I'm telling them that you planned the whole thing.." Ignoring his faint smirk, he opened his mouth, allowing himself to be fed. The familiar sound of the aforementioned girl's shock seemed deafeningly loud, but he concentrated on the light flavor of the food in his mouth, chewing carefully despite his embarrassment.

Swallowing, he licked his lip thoughtfully. "It _is_ good.. But not as good as you were acting like it was."

Tyki laughed, impervious to the blatant attention from their scandalized 'audience'. "You don't think so, Lovely? Maybe you would prefer something else.." He glanced at the table menu briefly, his mouth quirking at the redhead's warning growl. "They have dessert.. Do you like that sort of thing? I don't care too much for sweets myself, but I wouldn't be adverse to sharing.."

Lavi shook his head firmly, aghast at the very thought of what the man might do with anything even remotely suggestive. "So I can watch you lick your _spoon_ at me..? No thanks."

Feigning seriousness, the older man blinked. "We could always share a spoon, Lavi.. It would give them less silverware to clean."

Sighing deeply, the Exorcist nodded. "Yeah, it would.. But it would give _us_ more trouble than it would be worth. I'm ready whenever you are, so get on with it."

Tyki smiled, raising an eyebrow. "You're always in a hurry, aren't you Lovely..? Its a shame, really. Just think of all the things I could do to you, if you weren't so very impatient."

This time, the girl choked outright, her companion's concerned voice registering as a faint buzz as the Exorcist stared at the older man in horrified astonishment. " _Tyki!_ "

Ignoring the boy's mortification, the brunette pushed back his chair, tossing several bills onto the tabletop. "Are you coming, Lavi? I daresay the ladies need a bit of privacy, since they can't very well gossip with us sitting here."

Rising quickly, the redhead stalked away from the table, his cheeks still flaming as the older man joined him with a laugh. Holding his tongue until they reached the opposite street, he whirled to face the other with a growl. "Why did you _do_ that? You knew they were falling out of their chairs to listen!"

Waving off his anger, Tyki nodded. "Eavesdropping is a singularly unladylike habit, Lavi.. It would most likely do them good to learn that early." Motioning toward an approaching alley, he smiled. "Besides, it was that or tear your heart out.. I _really_ dislike my alias."

Blinking at the man in disbelief, Lavi shook his head. "You'd hold a grudge over a _joke_?"

Stepping into the shadows, Tyki hummed. "Oh, I never hold a grudge, Lovely.. Once I've avenged myself, I forgive and forget."

Grumbling quietly, the redhead followed, groping blindly for the other in the darkened space. Feeling the brush of a sleeve against his fingers, he sighed, the sound broken off as the older man caught his arm, pushing him roughly against the nearest wall. "Wha-"

Tyki silenced him with a demanding kiss, his hands roaming hungrily over the Exorcist's sides and hips. Nipping at his lower lip, he used the other's muted gasp to enter his mouth, exploring him thoroughly before pulling away.

"Would you rather I'd done that, Lavi? Nothing they served could have compared to you.."

Laughing at the boy's dazed expression, he stepped back. "Don't worry yourself about it, Lovely.. I doubt we'll see those people on anything close to a regular basis. Besides that, shall we go?"

Lavi nodded quickly, allowing the older man to wrap his arms around his waist. "After all that, it'd better be someplace nice, Tyki.. D'you really have to hold on so tight?"

Tyki shook his head, smirking down at the smaller boy. "Its a good place, Lavi. And no, I don't _need_ to.. I do it because I can." Closing his eyes, he concentrated on his destination, eager to bring back the redhead's previous high spirits.

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Lavi's first impression was one of silence.

Opening his eye, he took a breath to steady himself after the lingering jolt of translocation, blinking to dispel his faint dizziness. The older man released his grip, stepping back with a smile.

"All right, Lovely..? We can sit down if you need to." He took the redhead's arm carefully, urging him forward. "I'd forgotten how strange that feels, it certainly takes some getting used to.. Lavi? Is something the matter?"

The Exorcist stood frozen, taking in their surroundings with wide-eyed surprise.

Flowers.

Every conceivable shape and color, spread out for what seemed like whole acres in all directions. Though it was nearing sunset, the vibrant array was clear to his sharpened vision, and he found himself wondering how it was that the older man had found such a place. Turning to look at the bemused former Noah, he was struck by the man's obvious anxiety at his reaction.

"Its-" He cleared his throat, starting again. "Its perfect. Where..?"

Tyki shrugged faintly, relaxing. "I don't really know, Lovely.. I happened upon it by mistake, when I was learning to control my powers." He laughed softly at the boy's raised eyebrow, tugging on his arm. "Contrary to popular belief, the ultimate evil doesn't come with instructions. Care to have a seat?"

Snorting, the redhead nodded, allowing himself to be pointed in the opposite direction. Looking ahead, he stared a second time, beyond shocked at what he'd missed. The tree was easily over a hundred feet tall, with thickly spread branches that brushed the ground in several places. Hearing the other's amused hum, he flushed at the thought of how utterly foolish he must look, gawping like an idiot at something the brunette had seen many times.

Shaking his head, he followed the older man's lead, walking through the calf-high grass to stand at the base of the monolithic plant. Setting the bag he carried aside, he placed his hands against the tree's oddly smooth trunk, wondering why he had no name for it's type. Frowning, he tried to recall the books he'd read about botany, but found nothing even remotely similar to this giant.

Tyki watched him silently, remembering his own reaction to this place. When he'd mastered his ability to touch only what he willed, he'd ascended to the very top of the huge tree, truly astonished that it had survived so long. Perched in its uppermost branches, he had felt that even something so great as his Noah was reduced to minisculity by its immensity.

Bringing his thoughts back to the present, he pulled out the blanket, spreading it between two of the tree's halfexposed roots. "Lovely..? Would you like to sit down now?"

Shaking off his curiosity, the redhead nodded, kicking off his boots with a grateful sigh. "Aah.. I'd forgotten how uncomfortable those are." Settling himself against the tree trunk, he turned to the older man with a smile. "This is something else, Tyki.. Exactly what the doctor ordered."

Laughing quietly, the brunette nodded. "It is rather nice.. Do you like it, Lavi?"

The boy nodded enthusiastically, making the older man smile. "Then it was worth the effort. Now that we're here, do you think you could forgive my earlier humor?"

Lavi frowned in mock thought, finally shaking his head with a falsely severe expression. "No way! Maybe after I've 'avenged myself'." Snickering at the man's arch look, he jabbed a finger at his unprotected ribs, grinning as he flinched. "Revenge!" He cried, lunging at the unsuspecting brunette.

After several minutes of undignified squawks and flailing, Tyki remembered that it was extremely difficult to tickle an intangible person. Allowing the Exorcist to pass through his body, he laughed at his indignant huff. "Better, Lovely..? Just think, if not for my abilities, you may have been the first to defeat a Noah with your bare hands.."

Pushing himself to his knees, the redhead hummed quietly. "More like my bare _ass_.." He returned to his place, gazing over the open space before them. "Do you come here a lot? I mean, before.. This."

Tyki nodded slowly, relaxing against the tree. "Once, it seemed like every day.. But when the war-" He broke off, closing his eyes. "Not as often as I would have liked, Lovely. I simply didn't have the time to be at leisure. Since the end, I've only been here twice. Once when I reawakened, and once right before I took you." Wincing at the boy's silent scrutiny, he sighed. "Is there something else we could talk about, Lavi? We're supposed to be enjoying ourselves, not rehashing the past.."

The Exorcist slid closer to the man's side, nodding. "Anything you want to talk about, Tyki. Whatever comes to mind is fine with me."

For a while, they simply made idle conversation, the deepening color of the sky lending an air of lazy calm as the silence between topics grew. As the first few stars began to show, Lavi suddenly became aware that his companion seemed to be lost in thought.

Glancing at the other, the Exorcist hummed quietly. "So... What do you want, now? Anything in particular?"

Smiling faintly, the brunette shook his head. "Nothing, unless you still feel like talking.." Frowning at his lightly amused tone, Lavi sat back to better address him.

"I don't mean that. What do you _want_ , Tyki? If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?" He tipped his head curiously, the moonlight making his face a thing of shadow. "Anything, even something like a new hat, or a kitten. World peace. Hell, world _destruction._ What would make you happy right now?"

The man hummed quietly, meeting his gaze. "I don't know, Lovely. I don't think I know how to be happy, not really.. But I would be pleased to have more of this." He laughed at the other's confused look, settling against the tree trunk. "More time without worry, Lavi. Time to simply forget that you should be plotting my demise. But I wonder..What do _you_ want, Lavi? Surely you can't say that you're happy this way."

The redhead frowned thoughtfully, leaning against his shoulder. "I think I'd like to come here again. Or maybe it would be nice to see you enjoying yourself.. I'd like to be able to do more for you, too. Something better than just sitting around, talking your ear off. Other than that, I'm really okay."

Tyki blinked at him, his eyebrow raised. "That's not for you, Lovely. I should think you'd at least want to see your friends again, if nothing else.. Weren't they important to you?" The boy nodded, frowning.

"They were, but none of them really needed anything from me.. And you do. I think I'd be happiest if I could make someone else feel a little better, instead of just making them laugh every once in a while. It'd be nice if they knew I was all right, but there's probably a lot of more important things going on with them.. And its not like you left a yard-long blood trail or a ransom note. They'll most likely figure that I went AWOL or something."

He sat up, stretching his arms with a yawn. "Beside that, I think I'd like to invade your space for a couple minutes.. You mind?" He didn't wait for a reply, sliding back until he could lay his head in the man's lap. "Mm, that's comfy.. You make a pretty good pillow, for a evil guy."

Tyki snorted, nudging the boy halfheartedly. "And you make a splendid blanket, when you don't snore."

The Exorcist spluttered indignantly, rolling onto his side. "I do not! You're the one who makes all the weird noises while you sleep.." The older man hummed in amusement, shifting lower.

"Oh? Well, _you_ make them when you're awake. Still feel like playing, Lovely..?"

Flushing to the roots of his hair, Lavi shook his head. "Not when you don't play fair.. Are we past the melancholy part of the evening? I don't think I can concentrate on being all tragic and sad after _that_."

The brunette chuckled softly, nodding. "I believe so.. It _is_ rather difficult to hate oneself while being reminded of just how much someone enjoys their.. company. Do you want to go back, Lavi?"

The boy shook his head firmly, draping an arm around the other's waist. "Hm-mm.. Just a little longer..?"

Tyki looked down, and immediately winced at the hopefulness in the boy's single eye. "Aren't you cold..?" He murmured finally, running a hand up the exposed skin of an arm. "You wouldn't want to be sick, would you?" The Exorcist hummed absently, closing his eye.

"You'd take care of me if I was, and you know it. Bet you'd make a great nurse, too.. Really though, I'll be fine. I used to camp out all the time, and with less pleasant company, so unless you've got a better excuse, I'm gonna stay right here."

With that said, he relaxed, still latched doggedly onto the other. For several minutes, Tyki merely stared at his bent head, mildly alarmed at his tenacity. When he heard the boy's breathing become deep and even, he sighed.

"Little fool.. If you were tired, we could always have gone home where there's a bed. But I suppose that would have made too much sense, hm?"

Glancing at the boy's faint smile, he shook his head. "You're another person who doesn't know what's good for them, Lovely.. It really must be the hair, for you both to be so fearless." Remembering the Exorcist's stunned expression from before, he laughed softly. "I think she could see that in you, that you were the same.. But you aren't really, are you? I saved her, and destroyed you.." He sighed, looking up at the wide expanse of sky. "How long will you be able to keep your word, Lavi? Its only a matter of time before I make you suffer again.. Neither part of me is fit to keep you safe, not when they both want so much from you."

The only response was a quiet murmur, the redhead's arm tightening around his hips as he slept on. The sound and touch sent a quick stab of pain and guilt through the man's chest, his hand moving to stroke the boy's fiery hair as he closed his eyes. _'What it it that makes me this way..? I never dreaded the thought of harming another like this, why are you different? I don't even know you..'_

A faint sigh drew his gaze to the boy's face, his hand halting its slow petting as the Exorcist yawned, blinking up at him sleepily.

"Mm. Sorry about that, but you really are comfy.. Too bad we didn't think to bring any real pillows, then you could come down here with me." He stretched his arms upward, wincing at the slight crackle of his spine. "You could anyway, you know? The grass is pretty soft, and being out here is sorta nice for dozing.." He pushed himself half upright, leaning close to the man's surprised face. "Would you do that, until it really is too cold..? I think that's why I couldn't stay asleep, really. You're always right beside me, so not having you there felt kinda wrong.."

Perhaps it was the marginal plea in the boy's tone, or the otherworldly lighting playing tricks on his mind, but Tyki found himself struck speechless by the utter _pleasantness_ of the other's presence, his hands moving to catch the Exorcist's face of their own accord. Seeing his eye widen curiously, he took a slow breath to collect himself, wondering if he should warn the boy of his strange thoughts.

The opportunity was lost when the Exorcist tipped his head to the side, lifting himself to press careful lips to the corner of the brunette's mouth, a hand taking hold of his shirtfront as he spoke faintly against the man's skin. "Please, Tyki..? Things shouldn't _feel_ like that now, not when you came here to be happy.."

Nodding dazedly, the older man allowed himself to be moved, sliding down until he was face to face with the smiling redhead. Turning onto his side, he braced his head on one hand, the other draping itself loosely around the boy's middle. "Is this more to your liking, Lovely..? I must say, it _is_ rather comfortable.."

Humming softly, Lavi shifted closer, matching his posture. "Yeah.. Its great." Lowering his gaze, he picked idly at one of the man's shirt buttons, his brow furrowed in thought. "Thank you, for bringing me here. It's good to know that you actually _have_ someplace like this, where you can relax a little." Glancing up, he grinned crookedly at the other's questioning look. "You're different, out here.. I don't really know how to describe it. You're still you, but better. Less wary, I guess."

Blinking at the man's close attention, he sobered. "Tyki? Did I say the wrong thing again?" He laughed nervously, his fingers stilling. "Look, we don't have to stay, if you want to go back now.. I just thought that you look-" He broke off, averting his face. "You look better when you're not so serious. Not that you look _bad_ normally, but.. You should smile more. God, I really do talk too much.."

The brunette snorted quietly, drawing aimless circles on the boy's back with a finger. "Quite often, yes. But not always." He waited for the Exorcist to look up, tightening his hold fractionally. "Sometimes, you say exactly enough."

At the tone of the older man's voice, Lavi could almost swear that he _knew_ what was coming, but the actual touch of lips on his own was almost absurdly surprising, the hand on the other's shirtfront closing into a tight fist as he gasped. The faint vibration of the man's amusement tickled just enough to be soothing, and he suddenly wondered why he hadn't thought to do this himself.

Forcing his fingers to relax, he raised his hand to curl around the other man's shoulder, tugging gently at his collar to urge him closer. The answering pressure against his back was not altogether unexpected, but the awkwardness of their positions made movement a thing to be considered carefully. The teasing flick of a tongue on his lower lip scattered whatever bits of concentration he may have had, and instead of pondering the issue further, he resorted to the simple expedient of leaning backward, his firm hold on the older man's shirt bringing him along for the movement.

Wincing at the brunette's soft chuckle, he shifted until their bodies aligned somewhat properly, allowing the man to pull away for breath.

"Lose your balance, Lovely..? Or just testing the grass?"

Flushing awkwardly, the Exorcist fumbled for something to reinstate his questionable dignity. "My arm was in the way.. And I needed 'em both anyway." Seeing the other's eyes narrow speculatively, he took hold of his shoulders, pulling him down for a silencing kiss. Feeling the upward curve of his lips, he pushed down his own embarrassment, digging a hand into his hair as he lifted his knees to press meaningfully against the man's hips.

"See..? Couldn't do _this_ over there.. And look at that, you're smiling."

Tyki shook his head faintly, bemused at the boy's reasoning. "Hm. But I don't think we can do this here either, Lavi.. Pillows aren't the only thing we left at home."

The Exorcist smiled up at him brightly, toying with the loose strands of his hair. "You could always go get it.. I'll give you my clothes! Not like I'd go anywhere without _those_.." Winding a curl around his finger, he tugged lightly. "Or not. Later could mean now, tomorrow, tomorrow _night_.." Taking a breath, he found himself addressing empty air, his hand still raised as he blinked in surprise. "..Or it could mean _right this very second.._ "

As suddenly as he'd vanished, the man reappeared with an almost audible displacement of air, dropping the container in question carelessly nearby as he sank to his knees between the redhead's thighs. Supporting himself on one arm, he bent to catch the Exorcist's mouth with a low growl, his free hand pulling carefully at the buttons of his borrowed shirt. Freeing the last one from it's place, he pushed the material aside, tracing the waist of his pants. "All of the above sounded equally good to me, Lavi.. But first I think I'll make sure you won't be 'going anywhere'..."

Pulling him upright, he removed his open shirt, moving to the unmarked side of his throat. "Would you really like to come back here, Lovely..? Being all alone like this, aren't you afraid that I might take advantage of you?" He licked along the boy's jaw with a smile, stroking his back and shoulders slowly. Dropping a hand to the button of his pants, he tugged it loose carefully, his fingers teasing the skin just above the redhead's navel.

Lavi shook his head faintly, gripping the man's arms as he panted. "Maybe I'm taking advantage of _you_ , Tyki.. Letting you do things like this whenever you want it, knowing that it can't mean anything.." He bit his lip guiltily, remembering his _other's_ skillful manipulation of the brunette's feelings. "You don't have to be.. Don't do it like this, if its not enough for you. I wouldn't mind if you were less.." He tapered off, at a loss for how to describe the older man's seeming mood. "It feels like I'm lying to you." He finished lamely, blinking rapidly. "I don't want to make you pretend that it isn't just-"

Tyki cut him off with a quick nip to his skin, his eyes serious as he pulled back to meet the Exorcist's stare. "How are you lying, Lavi? Are you forcing yourself to respond this way?" He smiled at the redhead's halting breath, pushing him back just enough to slide his pants lower on his hips. "Is this something that you won't permit, Lovely? I can't treat you like this, if I wish to? What if _I_ wanted to pretend for a little while?" He removed the cumbersome garments completely, setting them aside. "You told me this morning that I should ask for the things I desire.."

Shuddering expectantly, the Exorcist allowed himself to be lain against the soft fabric, his arms reaching for the older man as he closed his eye. "If you want that, Tyki.. I'll let you do whatever you want, as long as it doesn't hurt you." He gasped at the feeling of the other's hand sliding along his thigh, his eye wide with surprise at the gentleness of the touch. "Oh, God.. I really wish I could-" He broke off with a wince, shaking his head.

Leaning close, Tyki pressed his lips to the swell of his ribcage, murmuring softly against the skin. "Wish you could what, Lovely..? Lie to me? Make this real? It doesn't need to be any more than this, does it? You want this, yes?" He moved higher, curling his hand around the boy's arousal with a low hum at its hardness. "You always say that it doesn't matter how I take you, so why would it be wrong of us to enjoy this? Would you prefer that I be rough with you, instead of taking my time?"

The redhead arched shakily into the touch, his breathing choked as he shook his head. "No..! Its not wrong, not if you want-" He struggled to collect his wits, closing his eye tightly. "I just don't know if I can let you, Tyki! Do you really want to waste that on _me_?" Despite his words, he drew his legs closer around the man's body, his movements openly at odds with his verbal reluctance. Tyki laughed quietly, allowing himself to be pulled down to rest against the boy's chest.

"Oh, it wouldn't be a waste at all, Lavi.. Not here, with you looking at me like you want to be convinced." He leaned in, kissing the Exorcist's throat with a smile. "I wouldn't be pretending that _I_ meant it, Lovely.. I'd be pretending that _you_ did."

The redhead's stillness was mildly concerning, but the rapid beat of his pulse against the man's lips was reassuring. Shifting an arm, Tyki rose to his elbow, still smiling faintly as he took in the other's shock. "I may not _love_ you, Lavi, but I _am_ inclined to be less forceful with you.. And every time you act like this, it makes me wonder just how little you _can_ feel. I've seen far too many emotions in you to believe that only one is excluded."

Ignoring the sudden brightness of the boy's eye, he shook his head. "I won't ask you to lie, Lavi, not after telling you not to.. But I don't feel like this would be wrong, not when it could have been real if we were different people." The Exorcist inhaled deeply, averting his face with a low noise that was neither a laugh nor a sob.

"It doesn't matter who _you_ are, Tyki.. I'm the one that should be different." He bit his lip, blinking furiously. "I really do hate myself, you know..? I really would be someone else for you, if I could do it, but after all this time.." He turned back to meet the brunette's gaze, his expression serious. "All I know how to do is pretend, Tyki. Anything I feel could be a lie, and I wouldn't even know."

The older man sighed, nodding. "I understand that much, Lovely.. But I honestly believe that you _would_ know, because there's no feeling on Earth quite like it." Rising to his knees, he fumbled with the front of his shirt, working the buttons free of their holes without breaking eye contact. Shrugging it off, he let it fall where it would, reaching for his waistband with similar carelessness. "No one instantly falls for someone else, Lavi.. There's no way to know what _could_ happen, all you can do is make the attempt."

Reluctant to leave his place, he frowned at his remaining clothing, missing the redhead's thunderstruck expression. As it was, he had only the slightest warning before he felt the boy move, arms wrapping almost urgently around his shoulders as the Exorcist leaned up for a passionate kiss. Gasping against the other's mouth, he released the annoying material in favor of returning his shaken touches, astonished at his sudden desperation. Feeling the younger boy's hand shift to his face, he drew back slightly, confused by his faint sound of distress.

"Lovely..? Have _I_ finally said too much..?"

Shaking his head, Lavi pressed closer, dropping his hands to tug at the man's unfastened pants. "Just enough.." He mumbled, pulling insistently. "Get rid of these, they're in the way."

Blinking in surprise, the brunette allowed the cloth to pass through his skin, jumping at the sensation of the boy's hand on the inside of his thigh. Bending to catch his mouth, he resumed his own exploration, taking note of the shivers that met his touch even as the redhead's fingers stroked along his arousal.

Pulling away for air, Lavi buried his free hand carefully into the man's hair, urging his face down to rest against his throat with a moan. "I want to be like everyone else..." He whispered, laughing giddily. "Please, Tyki..? Just this once, make me forget that I can't..?"

Nodding slowly, the older man leaned him backward, taking hold of the boy's wrist. Pulling it from between them, he lifted it over the other's head, twining their fingers together loosely. "You see, Lovely..? If you were truly so heartless, you wouldn't wonder at all.." Urging the Exorcist's head back, he nuzzled teasingly at his neck and shoulder, humming at the light pressure of knees against his sides. "Don't forget _everything_ , Lavi. Remember me, at least."

He trailed his fingers down the boy's hip and thigh, rocking against him with a satisfied noise. "Relax, Lovely.. You're far too tense." Ignoring the redhead's whimpered protest, he pulled back, smiling. "Don't worry, I wasn't going to stop. I only thought to look at you, for a moment." Glancing over the Exorcist's exposed skin, he murmured appreciatively. "Gods, but you _are_ as I call you.. Have you never seen it yourself, Lavi?"

His eyes settled on the boy's flushed face, the open surprise in his expression making the brunette sigh. "Does it bother you, for me to say it? Even this is not completely without it's charm.." He leaned over the redhead's body carefully, stroking his thumb over the cheekbone just below the black cloth of his eyepatch. "I was wrong, to call it a disfigurement.. Perhaps it annoys me to have a part of you kept hidden."

Shivering at the light touch, Lavi held his breath as the man drew a finger along the edge of the material. "Don't.." He choked, turning away. "I can't take it off, not ever. I'm sorry." His anxiety made the brunette pause, his hand leaving its place to catch hold of his chin.

"I won't take it off, Lovely, not without your permission. I merely thought that I had never touched it." He bent his head, following the path his fingers had taken with his lips. Reaching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes. "You don't have to be so still, if there's something of mine you'd like to feel.. Touch me as you please, Lavi."

He waited patiently, sighing at the boy's hesitant fingers on his sides. "That's something at least.." He murmured, smiling against his skin. Kissing the corner of his mouth, he slipped a hand behind the Exorcist's neck, tipping his head back to better gauge his expression. "Anything at all, Lovely.. I wouldn't offer if it weren't true." The redhead's eye widened slightly, his hands rising steadily along the man's back.

"I.. I just don't know where to start." He laughed shakily, his knuckles brushing the tips of the older man's hair. "I want it to be.. How _you_ want it. I don't really know what to do to make it that way." He combed his fingers through the loosely bound curls, shaking his head. "I can't even think of anything to _say_ , I just want to.. Not mess up, you know?"

Tyki blinked at his sincerity, startled at the reason for his reluctance. "This isn't like that, Lavi.. Nothing you do would be wrong." He leaned down on his elbows, hissing at the Exorcist's low moan at their closeness. Burying his face into the boy's throat, he laughed breathlessly. "Nothing you've ever done was wrong.. I wish that I could explain to you how unnerving that is." He shifted teasingly, humming in approval as the redhead tightened his arms around his back, fingers sinking deeper into his hair as he lifted his hips into the contact.

Shivering at the feeling of the older man's skin against his own, Lavi shook his head dazedly. "Do you really _want_ me to be wrong..? Its not like I think far enough ahead to make any plans, but I could try.. to.. God, that feels good.." He used his hold to press the other closer, his hands clumsy as he lowered one to clutch at the man's slowly rocking hips. " _Tyki_.."

Gasping for breath, he hooked his foot around the brunette's thigh, whining sharply when the man nipped a path from shoulder to ear and back. "You haven't done anything wrong, either.. Everything's just so.. I've always.." He broke off with a soft cry as the other's tongue retraced his steps, his lips brushing over the lobe of the redhead's ear as he spoke.

"Even the things you say are perfect, Lovely.. But tell me, is this how you imagined it, when you wanted me before?" He smiled at the boy's jerky nod, licking over his rapid pulse as he moved closer to his open mouth. "Then forget everything else, Lavi.. Do as you would have then, and we'll both have one less regret."

Closing his eye, the Exorcist whimpered brokenly at the rising flood of sensation, unable to contain the embarrassingly needy sound. Working his fingers free of the other's hair, he clung to his back, his legs rising to wrap loosely around his waist. "I've only.. got one." He whispered, fighting down his blush. "I wish I hadn't lied, when you first.. Even if I was scared, I should've told you that I wanted.."

He choked back a cry as the man ground against him, his eye widening at the heat of his skin. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to keep-" The keening note in his voice made him wince, but the older man merely shook his head.

"Don't be sorry, Lavi.. I've always enjoyed the sounds you make when you're like this." He laughed softly, pressing a kiss to the boy's jaw. "Perhaps that's why I forget myself with you, Lovely.. Being the first to make you feel these things must have gone to my head." He traced the lobe of one ear with his lips, smiling at his pleading whine. "What was it that you wanted, Lavi? Did you wish for someone to treat you this way, as if they would give anything in the world just to make love to you?"

Gasping sharply, the Exorcist buried his face in the man's shoulder, shaking his head faintly. "Don't.! It's too much, don't _call_ it that! Nobody's ever-" He broke off with a moan, his hips lifting helplessly against the other's. Struggling to speak, he took a rough breath. "They all knew I couldn't give anything back, so they never.. You were my first everything, Tyki. I'd never even had a real ki-"

The brunette cut him off with a gentle squeeze, urging his face up. "Then I truly am sorry, Lovely.. But that's something else unique about you. I don't think I've ever been with anyone quite like you." He caught the boy's mouth with his own, cradling his head as he intensified his steady movements. Feeling his fingers dig into his back, he hummed in agreement, leaning back to breathe.

"And why not call it that..? This is most definitely not _fucking_ , Lavi." He repeated the kiss, following the hard line of the boy's teeth before stroking over his tongue questioningly. The redhead's arms tightened, his head falling back to expose his throat as he shivered.

"Its _lying_ , Tyki.. No matter how you say it, or how much I wish it wasn't, its still just a lie.."

Noting the boy's obvious distress, Tyki shook his head, mildly annoyed with himself. "Don't think of it like that, Lovely.. If it troubles you, think of it as _making the attempt._ " He paused at the other's shaken stillness, lifting his head to meet his gaze. "You don't want that, then..?"

Holding his breath, the Exorcist faltered at the resigned expression on the man's face, visible despite the faint light. Forcing down his anxiety, he fought to regain his wits with extreme effort. "You want to.. But that's not _fair!_ What if you're completely wrong, and I really can't.." He shook his head jerkily, ignoring the surge of disbelief from his resting self. "You'd be stuck with it, and I.."

The older man sighed quietly, lifting himself to his elbows. "You forbid me to fall for you, Lavi? How is that 'fair'? I could no more promise you that than you could promise to love _me_."

Biting his lip, the redhead closed his eye tightly. "I don't mean it like that, I can't stop you from doing anything! Its just not right!" He growled at the sting of frustrated tears, refusing to let his despair stop his words. "Nobody should feel that way about me, Tyki.. It hurts when someone doesn't love you back." The feeling of the man's lips on his own was astonishing, and he gasped at the intensity of his still-present longing.

Leaning back, the brunette smiled at his surprise. "What of me, Lovely? Maybe I'm as incapable of it as you seem to believe you are.." Stroking the boy's temple lightly, he shook his head. "I don't know why, but that troubles me now. Will you try with me, Lavi? Here, where you say I'm so different?"

Holding the Exorcist's gaze, he sighed. "Do you know what I regret the most, Lovely..? I wish that _this_ could be the beginning, instead of what already was. The thing that would make me 'happy' is something I can't have.. Even at my full strength, I had no power over the past."

Stunned by his admission, the redhead could only blink speechlessly as the man closed his eyes with a slight smile. "I'd undo it all, Lavi.. Everything but the day I found Michaela. That day and it's night are the only times that feel worthy of keeping."

Lavi shook his head, pulling the brunette down with a jerk. "Don't say that! It was all.. If everything hadn't happened just like this, you might not have.." He tightened his arms, ignoring the heat in his cheeks. "We wouldn't be here, would we..? If things were different, I wouldn't know that you-" Breathing deeply, he attempted to slow his racing thoughts. "D'you really want that, Tyki? I don't want you to do this if its because you feel guilty.."

The man's quiet chuckle was muffled against the Exorcist's throat, his hair tickling the other's cheek as he nodded. "I really do, Lovely. I can't say that there's no remorse, but it has nothing to do with this." Pushing himself away from the redhead, he smiled at the high color of his face. "Are you embarrassed, Lovely? I thought I'd been clear about my intentions.."

Lowering his head, he brushed his lips over the boy's cheek, shifting until he could hold himself up. "I want to move past all of that, and see how things could be.. Even if nothing changes, wouldn't you rather know?"

Turning his face into the light touch, the Exorcist allowed him to pull back, his chest painfully tight. "Knowing things is my job, Tyki.. But Bookmen are cold-hearted, they.. _We_.. Aren't supposed to be attached.."

Narrowing his eyes, the older man bent until they were nose to nose, his voice low but steady. "Then I will melt you."

Reaching for the discarded bottle, he kept their bodies close as he opened it carefully, pouring the chilly fluid into his hand. Setting it nearby, he turned his attention to the astonished redhead, smiling at his silence. "What else can I do, Lovely? You don't believe me?"

Lavi shuddered expectantly, gasping at the sensation of a hand descending steadily along his abdomen. "I.. I believe you, but.." He bucked upward as the man drew tiny circles against the skin of his arousal, his eye closed tight as he whimpered. "What does it do for you..? What do you get from it, Tyki?"

Laughing quietly, the brunette slid his hand lower, spreading the oil across the other's entrance. "That's an easy question, Lavi.. I get you." Watching the boy's eye widen and then close in pleasure, he repeated his slow touches. "You want that, don't you? To have me all to yourself..?"

For a moment, Lavi wondered if it were really possible to die from sheer _want_. Hearing the older man offer himself in such a way, after all of his protests and excuses.. The faint sense of satisfaction from his resting self echoed his own, and he was almost frightened by the sudden flare of desperation brought on by the feeling.

"Please.." He moaned, arching against the man's teasing fingertips. "I want that too, so.." Opening his eye, he shivered at the other's rapt attention, swallowing heavily. "Show me. Before I think of another reason to stop you."

Tyki hummed softly, pressing gently through the faint resistance of his muscles. "Then think of something else, Lovely.. Like how very good this is going to be." Curling his fingers slightly, he growled at the redhead's broken cry, stroking the rise of his prostate. "Do you remember the last time you were like this, Lavi..? I could do what I did then, if you asked me to.."

The Exorcist shook his head rapidly, his fingers sunk deep in the material of their blanket. "No.. Not this time. It was good then, but.." Forcing himself to relax, he sighed breathlessly. "This time, I don't want anything to keep me from holding on to you."

Lifting his arms, he reached for the startled brunette with a faint smile. "Now..? I promise its enough, Tyki." Wincing at the man's uncertainty, he cupped his palm carefully beneath his jaw, urging him down for a slow kiss. Catching his breath, he kept their mouthes close enough to brush the older man's lips as he spoke. "I'm scared to death, you know.. But I want you to prove me wrong."

Withdrawing his hand, Tyki allowed himself to be pulled closer, pausing to retrieve the container of oil. Frowning at the odd unsteadiness of his movements, he poured the cool liquid into his cupped palm, reclosing the bottle and setting it aside. "There's nothing to be afraid of, Lovely. Its the same as everything else, only.. More. Or maybe less, of some things." He covered himself patiently, inhaling sharply at the redhead's sudden grip on his shoulder and waist. "What..?"

Laughing shakily, the Exorcist shook his head. "Less talking would be good.. And less waiting." Closing his eye, he repeated his gentle kiss, lifting himself to meet the other's cautious movements. Surprised by the lack of pain, he rocked upward, tightening his arms with an encouraging sound.

The brunette shivered at his eagerness, sliding deeper with a moan. "Gods, Lavi.." Catching the boy's mouth, he shifted a hand to his hip, stroking the skin as he began to move. Lifting his head, he exhaled roughly at the redhead's answering motions, his hand slipping around to press against his arched waist. "More of this could be dangerous.. It makes me wonder how much better it would be if you truly wanted it.."

Whimpering softly, the Exorcist shook his head. "I do want it! You aren't making me-" He gasped at the man's tight hold, his legs shaking against the other's sides as he arched pleadingly. "I mean it, I want this..!"

The brunette held his slow pace, adjusting his angle until the boy cried out wordlessly, his eye hazed with pleasure. "I know you do, but I didn't mean it like that.. I wondered how it would feel if your whole heart were in it, Lovely." He leaned in, closing his eyes at the redhead's low whine. "Its odd that I want to know.. I never wondered with anyone else, but you.."

Shuddering at his quiet words, Lavi struggled to speak around the lump in his throat. "Don't..! Don't tell me that now, I.." Drawing a breath, he locked his arms around the man's back, burying his face against his neck and shoulder. "I promise I'll try, so please.. Don't make me hate myself when you feel so good.."

The older man shook his head faintly, urging the Exorcist to relax. "But now is the best time, Lavi.. And you shouldn't be guilty for the things you don't feel." He lifted the boy higher, growling at the brief press of his nails. "You should concentrate on _this_ , Lovely.. You and I, here and now."

Bucking into the man's steady movements, Lavi moaned, his fingers digging into the other's back. "But I.. I want to know too! If you.. It couldn't be better, I'd- Tyki!" He tightened his legs around the brunette's waist, his back bent into a shaking arch. "Like that, Oh God please..!"

Hissing at the desperate pitch of his voice, Tyki braced himself on one arm, catching his lifted hips with the other. "Not yet, Lovely.. I know you want it, but this time.." He bent as close as he was able, holding the boy's wide-eyed stare. "This time, I want you to _need_ it."

Crying out sharply, Lavi dropped his arms to the ground, pushing himself up to catch the man's mouth. Swallowing his astonished gasp, he licked at the other's lips and tongue, grinding their bodies together with a whimper. Feeling the brunette's arm clench around his hips, he pulled back to speak. "I already need it.. Can't you feel..?" He sank backwards, using his grip to bring the older man down to cover him. Raising his legs higher along the other's sides, he took hold of his shoulders with a broken moan.

Tyki intensified his movements in reply, panting at the Exorcist's plaintive sounds. "Only a little longer, Lavi..? You can't wait at all?"

Lavi shook his head rapidly, his voice breathless and urgent. "I don't want to, but- I think I'm gonna come without you.." He lifted himself to press against the older man's body, every muscle drawn tight as he choked. "Its never been this good, I can't.." He bit his lip hard enough to bruise the skin, closing his eye with a growl of frustration. "Stop," He rasped, ignoring the clamor of his body. "Tyki, _stop!_ "

Wrapping his arms around the man's neck, he jerked him down, his legs tightening likewise to hold the other still. Shivering with denied arousal, he breathed deeply before attempting to speak. "I don't want it to be like that.." He whispered, blinking rapidly. "Its supposed to be different! It can't always be like this, not if we're going to..try.."

Tyki nodded, pushing carefully against the boy's arms. "I understand. But it _is_ different, Lovely.." Sliding backward, he hissed at the redhead's brief clench around him, thrusting forward shallowly. "Better, and so much harder to- Please, Lavi.. Tell me what to do, because I think I'll go mad if you make me stop."

He repeated his gentle movements, moaning breathlessly at the other's quiet whimper. "Tell me, Lovely.. Is this what you wanted..?" The Exorcist's heels dug shakily into his back, the act drawing him both closer and deeper. Growling in reply, he slipped an arm beneath the boy's body, supporting his hips as he leaned down to lick a slow line along the redhead's collarbone, his breath cooling the damp skin as he panted. "There's no need to hold yourself back, not when I'm just as close as you are.."

Burying a hand into the man's hair, Lavi fumbled awkwardly with the loose tie that held it, tugging it free and casting it aside. Cupping the back of his head, he pulled him up, his free hand moving to touch as much of the other's skin as he could reach. Speaking between short, hungry kisses, he struggled to form coherent words. "Not..without you! _Please_ , Tyki-"

The brunette shuddered roughly, his fingers digging into the boy's skin. "Please what, Lavi..? Tell me what you want!"

Using his grip around the man's waist, Lavi rocked upward to match his quickening rhythm, pushing his head down to speak directly into his ear. "I want you to let go, Tyki.." He moaned breathlessly, fingers tangling loosely into the man's hair. "You said I'm yours.. Am I, really?"

The older man nodded rapidly, his arms tight around the Exorcist's lifted hips. " _Mine._ You gave yourself..to.. _Lavi!_ " He cried out sharply at the boy's hard nip to the side of his throat, his movements faltering as the redhead sucked firmly at the stinging skin. "Don't.. do that, I'll-"

Lifting his head, Lavi pulled him in for a possessive kiss, bucking into his stilted thrusts urgently. "You left your mark.. And so did I. You're _mine_ , Tyki." Wrapping his arms around the man's back, he gasped. "Please let me feel you.. Come for me?"

The brunette's eyes widened fractionally, so dark with pleasure that they almost appeared black as he nodded jerkily. "For you, Lovely.. Because this feels so _real_ \- Oh, God!" Clutching the Exorcist roughly to him, he buried himself as deeply as he was able, the abrupt movement drawing a choked scream from the redhead as his muscles locked viciously around the man inside him. The shuddering clench of the boy's body destroyed what bit of control he may have still had, his eyes closed tight as he matched his lover's harsh cry of completion.

Still shivering with faint sparks of erotic flame, Lavi lifted his back with a breathy whimper, sighing in contentment as the older man shifted his arms to the side, one sliding carefully beneath the Exorcist's head to support him. Winding shaky fingers into the brunette's sweat-dampened hair, he urged him down for a soft kiss, moaning at the lazy sweetness of it.

Feeling the other begin to move backward, he tightened his legs gently, shaking his head. "Not yet.. Please? Just a little longer.." He laughed almost drunkenly at the man's slow nod, nuzzling against his shoulder with a quiet hum. "M'sorry, I just.. I think I hate that."

He relaxed his grip, blinking at the near-perfect darkness around them. "That was.. What _was_ that, Tyki? Any word I think of doesn't match.." The older man pushed himself to his elbows, pausing for a moment at the Exorcist's anxious sound.

"I'm not going anywhere, Lovely.. Not until you want me to." He regarded the boy seriously, his look softening into a faint smile at the redhead's relieved expression. "Does it need a definition, Lavi? Giving it a name won't change anything, will it?" Leaning down to press his lips to the boy's own, he sighed. "If you must, think of it as.. Incentive." Seeing the Exorcist's eyebrow lift curiously, he chuckled. "If there were feelings involved, it would have been even better. Every bit of it."

Suppressing a shiver, the redhead bit his lip. "How do you know?" He murmured, averting his gaze. "You said you don't know if you can.. have feelings for someone either, so.." The thought of the older man having detailed knowledge on the subject was almost worthy of tears, but he knew that mere saltwater had no hope of expressing the anguish he felt. Forcing his voice to be steady, he turned back to face the man squarely.

"Was there.. Did you love somebody else? I mean, someone that made you think you couldn't anymore?" He flinched at the surprised look on the brunette's face, feeling his cheeks heat uncomfortably. "Is that how you know what it's like..?"

As soon as the words were spoken, he cursed himself silently for asking. Bracing himself for the obvious response, he wondered how long it would be before the hurting stopped.

Something in his expression must have given him away, the older man's eyebrows lifting as the silence stretched on. Tilting his head, the brunette raised a hand to push the hair away from the boy's face. "Are you _jealous_ , Lavi..?" He sensed rather than saw the Exorcist shrink from the question, his eye widening at the other's quiet voice. Leaning closer, he frowned slightly. "Don't be. It wasn't like this at all."

Feeling the boy stiffen beneath him, he shook his head. "I mean it wasn't physical, Lovely. Even I had friends, once." He sighed quietly, stroking the redhead's cheek with a finger. "I know that things seemed better when they were with me, and worse when they were gone. Its the same feeling, without being romantic, yes?" He laughed quietly, shaking his head again. "Was this better than that first time, Lavi?"

The Exorcist nodded slowly, wincing at the reference. "Yeah.. A lot better, but-"

Tyki smiled, shifting until they were eye to eye. "Why? Didn't you really want me then, even though you said you didn't? Why would this time, or any of the others be different?" He sighed, relaxing into the boy's hold. "I've loved people before, but I don't think I could say I've ever been _in_ love. Not the way you're imagining it."

Lavi blinked at the tone of his voice, his arms tightening around the man's shoulders. "I'm sorry.. That I asked and that you haven't."

The brunette hummed questioningly, carding a hand absently through the boy's hair. "Its no great loss, Lovely. One can't really miss something they've never had.. Isn't it the same for you?"

The Exorcist shook his head firmly, frowning. "It's not. I really can't miss it, but that's because I don't even know what it is. _You_ know, so it's worse-" He faltered at the older man's calm stare, clearing his throat. "You deserve it. You shouldn't be alone." He laughed anxiously, closing his eye. "That's one more reason that you should have picked someone else, you know.. You could do a lot better."

Tyki moved backward, wincing at the other's momentary clutch and release. Reaching for the bottom edge of the blanket, he wiped himself somewhat clean, doing the same for the boy's stomach. Drawing the redhead closer, he tugged the excess material over them, settling beside him with a contented sigh. "I highly doubt that, Lavi.. You seem to suit me rather well." Stroking the Exorcist's bare back, he smiled faintly. "You shouldn't belittle yourself, Lovely. The good things about you outweigh the bad by far."

Feeling the redhead take a breath to protest, he pressed a finger to the boy's lips. "Let it stand, Lavi. My opinion is just that, not a point to be argued.. Besides, didn't we have this same talk about me? You seem to think very highly of me, when I can only see the ills I've done."

Lavi nodded, scooting just a bit closer. "All right, then. Do you really think we could come back here again..? I mean, you don't have to take me places all the time, but-"

The brunette laughed, shaking his head. "I wouldn't mind having you with me, anytime you wished it.. And I most certainly wouldn't object to returning, especially in light of.. Pleasant associations with the place." He urged the boy's face up, meeting his gaze. "If there _is_ someplace you wish to go, tell me. Don't think of yourself as a prisoner, Lovely."

The Exorcist's eye widened in surprise, then narrowed. "But that's exactly what I am.. You don't know me well enough to call me anything else, Tyki." He sighed, shaking his head slowly. "I don't think I _want_ you to know.. Being a Bookman isn't like anything else. No matter what I knew was going to happen, all I could do was watch.. And then I had to learn not to care about anything but the facts. We didn't look at the people, it was like they were.. Irrelevant."

He shuddered briefly, gritting his teeth at the twisting sensation of nausea. "Doing that was awful, but.. I think the worst part is never being able to forget it. I remember every single detail, you know? Even when I didn't care, _I remembered those people_."

The older man blinked at the utter self-loathing in the redhead's voice, opening his mouth to speak. Before the comforting words could emerge, the boy cut him off.

"You think you're evil because you've killed people, right?" He didn't wait for the brunette to reply, closing his eye with a humorless laugh. "Me, too. _Hundreds_ of them. Maybe even _thousands._ " His voice shook slightly, but he cleared his throat and pressed on. "At least you looked them in the face, Tyki. Gramps and I, we just kept our Goddamned mouthes shut and looked right through them."

Now his voice _did_ crack, and the sound seemed to mock him as he fell silent. Tyki waited for the span of two breaths, then shook his head.

"Killing someone and allowing someone to die are different, Lavi. It might not feel like it now, but it is." He ignored the boy's sharp inhale, his arm wrapping securely around the other's waist. Resting his face against the Exorcist's hair, he sighed. "You never wanted to hurt anyone, that's why it could never be the same thing."

Lavi accepted the one-armed embrace, his eye still closed as he nodded reluctantly. "Maybe not, but.. I don't want to be like that anymore. Even if I have to remember what I saw, I'd rather feel bad about it than feel _nothing_."

The brunette hummed in understanding, stroking the cooled skin of the boy's back. "Do you want to go now, Lovely..? Its getting cold, not to mention late." Feeling the other's reluctant nod, he smiled. "I promise we'll come back, Lavi.. Many times."

Rising to sit, he retrieved their castoff clothing, passing the Exorcist's over before reaching for his own. After a momentary tussle with his pants, he turned to address his companion. "Would you like to go with me tomorrow as well, Lovely? No matter what I say, I _do_ feel rather obligated to continue visiting.."

Tugging awkwardly at his boots, the redhead nodded. "Anytime you feel like company, Tyki. But no more bimbo killing, ok? I'll keep my jokes to myself, honest." Laughing at the man's arch look, he stood, offering a hand. "Come on, let's go before _you_ catch a chill.. I'd be a lousy nurse."

Smirking, the brunette rose to his feet, glancing deliberately over the boy's figure. "Perhaps.. But with a little padding up top-"

The Exorcist swiped at him halfheartedly, laughing despite himself. "Right. Just as soon as we find a backless apron for _you_ , O Fearsome One." Folding their blanket haphazardly, he stuffed it back into the knapsack, slinging it over his shoulder. "I hope you don't need your space, Tyki.. For some reason, I feel like being clingy."

Laughing, the older man shook his head, wrapping his arms around the boy's middle firmly. Lowering his head, he paused just shy of touching, a smile evident in his voice. "Space is highly overrated, Lovely." Feeling oddly pleased with himself, he closed the scarce distance between them, hoping that the boy's sleep would be much more peaceful tonight than it had seemed before.

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Well, there's some more. Hope you all enjoyed it after the long wait.  
O, and about the disclaimer up top? Totally meant that. Please review if you fave/alert add me, or you might find all my stuff moved exclusively to my group's website. Ja ne!


	9. Black Vision

NG9 - Black Vision  
Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 9 - Black Vision

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Well, here we go again..  
 **  
Disclaimer of Dis-temperment: This fic contains sex. And cursing. And masturbation. It may make you dizzy, nauseous, hungry or prone to hand cramps. If you notice blurred vision, difficulty breathing or prolonged bouts of euphoria, go wash yourself and take a nap. Please, for the love of all that's holy, use soap and don't forget your nails. Thanks.  
**

And I reiterate: Fuck every and anyone who cannot be bothered to leave a review of some length when they alert list and fave. Yes, this means you, the one with the shifty motherfucker look about you at the mention of 'review'. Please be more respectful of authors you claim to love so much.  
Now, on with this.. thing. Enjoy.  
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The next several days were unseasonably warm, and Tyki decided that being indoors was a less than desirable passtime in light of the utterly splendid weather.

After almost a week of afternoon visits to his small ' _responsibility_ ', he found himself astonished to realize that the cheerful boy at his side had been with him for nearly a month. Though there had been no more mention of the redhead's somewhat troubled sleep, the older man could see that the Exorcist clearly needed more rest than he was getting, and the faint darkness beneath his eye had continued to deepen as the days wore on.

Unwilling to break the almost blissful peace between them, he had resorted to the simplest remedy he knew for insomnia.

The boy's enthusiasm was unwavering, and several times he had awakened the older man with the shocking sensation of hands and lips on skin, his bright hair tickling the junction of the brunette's thighs as he moved purposefully beneath whatever sheet or blanket covered them.

One such night left the man acutely aware of just how much _remedy_ had been used, the faint smudges of bright red on the tips of his fingers leaving him shaken with horrified disgust at himself.

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"Dammit, its just a _scratch_ , Tyki! You're acting like I'll die!"

The Exorcist clenched his hands tightly, shivering with denied arousal. "Just cut your nails in the morning, it isn't that big a deal!"

The brunette met his gaze squarely, shaking his head. "It is when you're bleeding from just a _touch_ , Lovely! There was blood on some of the towels too, is that also 'not a big deal'?"

The Exorcist's eye widened briefly, then narrowed. "You go through my _laundry_ , Tyki? Jesus fucking Christ, what next? Gonna start checking my pockets too?" He reached blindly over the edge of the bed, locating a shirt by touch. Yanking it over his head, he stood, glaring back at the other man. "I think I'll go to bed now, so you won't have to worry about sleeping with someone you don't trust."

He ignored the quick stab of anxiety at the thought of sleeping alone in a strange bed, but the flicker of panic rose again when the older man nodded shortly.

"If you think that's best, Lavi.. There's only one other room to use, but it hasn't been touched since the first night." Eyeing the redhead speculatively, Tyki frowned. "You could have told me, Lovely. I wouldn't have been angry with you, and you would have healed in a day or two.. From here, it looks more like _you_ don't trust _me._ "

Gritting his teeth, the Exorcist very nearly hissed in annoyance. "I let you fuck me, don't I? Every damned _night_ , sometimes twice! You could tear out any part of me you wanted, and there are about a million reasons that you **should**! If I didn't trust you, why would I do it?" He shook his head, laughing flatly. "If you were watching me that hard, you could have _asked,_ Tyki.. But you didn't say a single word, did you? You were just fine with getting what you could, until it was enough."

Snorting at the man's suddenly wide eyes, he strode to the door, jerking it open. "Don't worry, though. You know exactly where I'm going, and when your _appetite_ comes back, you know I'll still let you do anything you want. Goodnight."

He slammed the door behind him, walking down the short hall toward the room he'd awakened in so many nights ago, his footfalls quick and sharp on the floorboards. Pushing the door open, he slammed that one behind him as well, glaring at the unlockable knob. Scowling, he remembered that a lock would hardly do more than assuage his wrath, in light of the older man's still-present abilities.

Growling loudly, he stomped to the bed, flinging himself facedown on the slightly musty pillow. " ** _Fuck!_** "

_'He won't last long.. Not after having us at his beck and call..'_

He stiffened at the soft voice, then relaxed. "I don't care about that.. I just.. Something about it just made me so damn _mad_." He rolled over, covering his face with his forearm. "I didn't mean to make it sound like it was his fault, either.. I really can't do anything right."

_'You could.. All you ever need is a little help.'_

Sighing, he shook his head. "I want to be better than this, we were doing great until today.. But what would make it that way again? He doesn't trust me.."

The voice was still gentle, but the volume seemed to grow as it responded. _'We fixed things before, didn't we? This is the same, just give him something to want and none of the rest will matter. You want him to forget today, don't you? Be someone he can't ignore.'_

Pushing himself up to sit, the Exorcist nodded. "It _sounds_ right, but.. I don't know how. Could you..?"

_'No, I can't.. But you have someone who can. Remember Italy..? That you.. **He** was as close to unforgettable as he could be. No one looked away when you were him, did they? Every person you spoke to, they **wanted** you..'_

He flushed at the memory of _that_ mission, biting his lip. "Well, we were living next to an army brothel! If I hadn't have acted.. _Flirty_ , nobody would have given me a second look.. Besides, Gramps had to follow me around all the time to make sure I didn't get jumped!"

_'But it worked, didn't it..? Those people would have done **anything** to get a little bit of what you had, wouldn't they? You didn't want them, but him.. You **know** its not like that where he's concerned..'_

Closing his eye, he shivered, suddenly aware of his enduring lust for the man. "God.. I still can't believe he _left_ me like this.." Sighing, he pushed down the thought of their activities just before their disagreement, straightening. "Let's do it, then. Maybe he won't like being left hanging any more than I do."

Concentrating, he drew on his flawless memories of the person he sought, relaxing faintly at the easier-than-expected feel of the act. This time, there was almost no discomfort at the change, only a slight sense of disorientation that left him breathing heavily when he reopened his eye.

Blinking, he gasped at the clear _edge_ of his thoughts, shivering anew as he recalled just how much he'd been anticipating the older man's touch.

_'Yes.. And that's exactly what we want **him** to feel like, isn't it? Let him have his day or two, if he can stand it.. Our memory is very good, so he doesn't always have to be here, does he?'_

Smiling faintly, he shook his head. "I wonder if he's thinking about me.. I'll bet he is, after what I was doing." He hummed quietly, noticing for the first time that it was the brunette's shirt he'd taken. Working the buttons free, he shrugged it off, gathering the material to his face with a sigh. "Mm.. He always smells so fucking good.. Tastes good, too."

Sliding further onto the bed, he closed his eye with a soft laugh. "I'll have to pay attention, he might want details.."

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Drying his hands carefully, Tyki sighed.

Despite his firsthand knowledge of the redhead's volatile temper, he hadn't expected so strong a reaction, and he certainly hadn't thought the Exorcist would leave the room in order to avoid discussing the issue. Turning off the bathroom light, he paused at the doorway, frowning at the empty room beyond it.

Remembering the boy's angry retort, he winced, walking slowly to sit in the chair by his desk. Though he knew that the Exorcist had only spoken out of anger, he felt the truth of the statement most keenly, mentally berating himself for his failure to confront the boy sooner.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he reached for his glasses, rummaging briefly through the desk until he located a few misplaced letters that needed tending to. Glancing at the nearly spotless ashtray by his elbow, he sighed, wondering if nicotine would ease his mood.

The Exorcist had never _directly_ expressed displeasure with his habit, but there was always a faint sniff at the first curl of smoke, and he seemed unduly pleased when the man crushed a cigarette out before finishing it. Reminding himself that the boy could hardly smell the tobacco from his erstwhile retreat, he retrieved the half-empty pack from a drawer, pulling one out and striking a match to light the end of it.

Inhaling deeply, he slumped in his chair, ignoring the papers in front of him. He wondered if the redhead's ire would last 'til morning, considering that he had yet to miss accompanying the older man on his daily hospital visits. The thought was disconcerting, and Tyki found himself thinking of their visit that morning.

Though he still seemed anxious at the girl's tiny size, the Exorcist had become decidedly fond of her, his manner speaking volumes on his affectionate state of mind when his turn came to hold or feed her. While she still demanded equal attention from the two, Michaela definitely shared his enthusiasm, her excited squeals making it impossible to doubt her pleasure at the younger boy's presence.

Tyki had noticed that his own hesitance was diminishing, and when he held the slumbering infant that afternoon, he hadn't been surprised at the rush of disappointment when he realized that their usual time to leave had come.

Flicking his ashes carefully, he sighed again at the silence of the room. How long had the boy been hiding his injuries? How could _he_ not have seen it?

Lifting the cigarette for another drag, he closed his eyes in self-loathing. Had there really been no sign of the redhead's condition, nothing that would have shown that he was in pain? Tyki shuddered at the memory of how eager the boy had been, when he had surely known that the older man's touch would lead to-

He very nearly burnt himself at the faint sound of a whimper, muffled and hushed through two closed doors. Stubbing out his half finished cigarette, he shoved his chair backward, half rising in alarmed concern as the sound continued. Had the redhead been hurt _that_ badly, enough to cry..?

He took only a handful of strides toward the door when the sound _changed_ , becoming something he was extremely familiar with.

Wide-eyed, he froze in disbelief as the Exorcist's voice scaled up into a choked moan, the noise leaving him acutely aware of the other's closeness.

After several seconds of flat astonishment, Tyki backed away from the door, stumbling over one of the boy's cast off boots as he went. The object only served to remind him that he himself had removed it from the redhead's foot not a half hour ago, intent on causing _exactly_ the same tremulous note in his voice as he'd backed him toward the bed..

He growled shortly, shaking his head. Did that little fool really think he couldn't be heard, with only a few dozen _feet_ between their rooms..?

Clenching his hands tightly, he forced down the thought of what the boy was surely doing, believing himself to be inaudible to the older man. Sinking onto the rumpled blankets, Tyki sighed wretchedly, hoping that the Exorcist would realize that he could plainly hear-

His name.

His _**name.**_

The word was still faint with distance, but completely and totally unmistakable to the man who now wished that he could simply reject soundwaves.

Less than fifty yards away, the boy was _pleasuring himself_ while crying out to the person he'd left to sleep alone, the urgent note in his voice driving a spike of pure **need** through the brunette as he felt his nails break the skin of his palms.

This could _not_ be real.

Despite his growing desperation, he attempted to calm himself by repeating a silent mantra. _'He-doesn't-know-He-doesn't-know-'_

His concentration was hopelessly shattered when the Exorcist began to _plead_ , his lover's name coupled with near-unintelligible cries of impending release.

Clamping his hands to his ears, the man rose from his seat, shoving his feet awkwardly into his shoes with a shaken growl. Foregoing a coat, he almost flung himself from the house, hoping against hope that there would be a bar close to wherever he materialized.

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Collapsing breathlessly against the sweat-dampened blanket, the redhead laughed giddily, the abrupt _bang_ of displaced air making him smile contentedly. "Serves you right.." He muttered, panting for air. "See how _you_ like it, mister _if-you-think-thats-best_."

Closing his eye, he stretched lazily, humming at the still-present smolder of desire he felt. " _Mmm.._ Might have to do something about that in a minute.."

Sitting up, he made his way to the small washroom, wetting a cloth with cool water. Wiping gingerly at his sensitized skin, he allowed his mind to stray back to the incredibly satisfying feel of his hands, wrapped in the memory of someone else..

He gasped as his arousal switched instantly from ember to inferno, gripping the edge of the sink with a strangled moan. "Oh.. _God.._ "

His knees shook, nearly spilling him to the tile before he could catch himself, sitting heavily on the cool floor as he shuddered. Closing his eye, he pressed a trembling hand to himself, jumping at the intense pleasure of the light touch.

He repeated the movement almost hesitantly, his breath hitching painfully in his chest. He hadn't felt like this since-

The field. In the dark, under the Noah's _tree.._

Whimpering quietly, he remembered how completely undone the brunette had seemed there, as if he really _would_ have given anything in the world..

He cried out almost silently at **that** memory, the line between then and now blurring into nothing as he arched under the teasing stroke of phantom hands and lips.

_~This time, I want you to **need** it..~_

His hands fell to either side of his body, holding him upright when he would have tumbled backwards, his palms almost too slick to find purchase as he moaned raggedly. "I..I do, I need-"

_~Tell me what you want!~_

His elbows buckled, the back of his head meeting the floor with a dull sound. "You! I promised..!"

_~ **Mine.** You gave yourself..~_

There was no sound other than the man's remembered voice, the rush of his heartbeat in his ears leaving room for nothing else. His eye widened, the sting of helpless tears making the room's low light shift into a kaleidoscoped tangle of color and brightness.

_~For you, Lovely.. Because this feels..~_

_**"Real..!**_ Please, God..!"

His muscles spasmed in nearly agonizing pleasure, his shortened nails screeching thinly as his hands clenched against the stone beneath him. In that instant, he _felt_ the desperate surge of the brunette's hips between his bare thighs, _tasted_ the exotic saltiness of his skin..

He screamed breathlessly, half in ecstasy and half in terror, the sound amplified by the small confines of the room until it was deafening.

As suddenly as it began, it was over, his pulse still racing as he whimpered brokenly up at the high ceiling. He blinked rapidly, shuddering at the slide of wetness against his cheek. "God.."

Ridiculously, he felt the urge to laugh, a faint hiccuping jerk of breath escaping before he could contain it. Struggling with his weakened body, he forced himself upright again, leaning tiredly against the counter. Suddenly, he wanted nothing more than to sink into bed, the warm press of someone's chest against his back as darkness took him in.

He bit his lip at the thought, knowing that he had made such a thing impossible.

"This is fucking _pathetic_.." He whispered, clenching his hands. Shoving himself to his feet, he wobbled dangerously for a moment, catching the side of the sink to brace himself until he felt steady enough to walk. Swiping at his skin with the still damp washcloth, he rinsed it well before setting it aside, leaving the room.

Crossing to the bed, he winced at the sight of the brunette's shirt beside the pillow, reminded that the older man had gone to God-knows-where. Sitting down, he smiled faintly at the thought of the other wearing _his_ shirt, seeing as how he'd absconded with this one. Reaching for it, he once again gathered the soft cloth in his hands, sliding back into the middle of the bed.

Lying back on the pillow, he sighed, keeping the shirt close him as he turned onto his side. Closing his eye, he shivered at the cool air of the room, ignoring the low lights as he willed himself to sleep despite his unnamed dread.

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Some hours later, a very inebriated and unsteady brunette stood before the boy's closed door, wondering if his reflexes would be sufficient to preserve his dignity should the room's occupant decide to take exception to his presence. Shaking his head at himself, he risked a fleeting look through the door, blinking at the still figure on the bed.

Stepping the rest of the way inside, he eyed the redhead's unclothed body with almost reluctant hunger, hands closing into fists as he recalled his reason for flight. Moving closer, he paused abruptly as the boy shivered, murmuring something unintelligible as his arms drew back against his chest. Leaning down, the man inhaled sharply as he realized that the Exorcist held a familiar object in his hands.

Glancing down at what he knew to be the boy's hastily removed shirt, he looked back at what surely must be his own, clutched tight against the redhead's bare chest as he repeated his uneasy sleeptalking.

His lingering annoyance faded to nothing at the sight, his thoughts jumbled with the withering combination of exhaustion and alcohol as he stepped backward. Sighing tiredly, he strode to the small dresser nearby, rummaging through it until he found a light blanket that was only a little musty with disuse. Returning to the bedside, he shook it out noiselessly, spreading it carefully over the sleeping Exorcist.

Turning off the light with a brief thought, he sank into a crouch by the boy's pillow, lifting a hand to stroke the other's hair away from his face. Pressing a barely-there kiss to his exposed temple, he sighed. "Sleep well, Lovely.. But not so well as you do with me."

Rising gracelessly to his feet, he spared a final look at the Exorcist, resisting the urge to curl snugly behind him with great effort. Laughing soundlessly at his foolishness, he left the room, hoping that both their heads would be clearer, come morning.

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Unfortunately, Tyki seemed to have underestimated the boy's anger, as he failed to reappear when the usual time came.

Mustering his courage, Tyki knocked carefully on the other's door, waiting patiently as a series of muffled noises carried through the thick wood to signify the redhead's approach. When the door began to swing open, he found that all his carefully prepared words had flown completely out of his head, his eyes widening at the Exorcist's utterly ferocious expression.

"What? Looking for a oneoff before you leave?"

Stunned at the open disdain in the boy's tone, he stepped backward, taking in the other's nakedness with astonishment. "No, I- Are we.. Would you like to.." For the first time in almost a decade, he felt his face warming uncomfortably at his awkwardness, and he took a breath to regain his shaken composure. "I wondered if you'd be coming with me, but you seem a bit.." He tapered off at the redhead's quiet snort.

"No, I don't think so. Besides, aren't you afraid I might do something to your little bundle of atonement? I'm untrustworthy, remember? If that's all you wanted, just run along and play, Tyki. I need to get the pants I was wearing out of your room and I'd rather you weren't there."

Slamming the door in the stunned brunette's face, he turned, slumping back against the wood with a shaky sigh. "Are.. Are you sure that was _right_..? He was trying to-"

_'Win you over. Without giving in. You did **exactly** right'_

Biting his lip, he shivered. "He looked.. Hurt. Disappointed. I don't want to make him feel like _that_ , I just wanted.."

_'He shouldn't take your good nature for granted.. After everything that's happened, you would be within your rights to be **murderously** angry.'_

Nodding, he leaned his head against his raised knees, steeling himself to the sound of soft footsteps retreating from whence they came. "How long..? Until he really appreciates it? I don't like being this way.."

The voice lowered soothingly, the sensation of it faintly ticklish behind his closed eye. _'You're too easy.. If you aren't strong, you'll lose this.. Him, everything.. Do you want to make him happy? Be stronger, more important. You can't save him from himself if you're this weak.'_

Lavi stiffened, shaking his head rapidly. "I want to be better! He'd be happy without.. _love_.. if I were good enough.." He flinched at the faint sound of the older man's departure, sighing. "I'll miss her.. He's always so happy when we go there, I think they're good for each other."

_'Will it still be good if she replaces you..? You say he was trying, but he traipsed off without a second thought..'_

Clenching his hands, the Exorcist growled. "I won't be jealous of a _child_! She deserves to have people come to see her, she doesn't have anyone else!" As if sensing his iron resolve on that particular matter, there was no further mention of Michaela.

_'But you still want him to have need of you? Do you even know what he needs, has there been any sign?'_

The fight drained out of him like water, leaving him slightly nauseous. "I.. He doesn't really talk about things like that. He says he wants the past to stay in the past.." He laughed ruefully, leaning his head against the door. "I've been too busy with his body to worry about his mind. After this long, we should at least be friends, but.. I'm fucking that up too, aren't I?"

_'Then that's what we'll do next.. Give him some time now, and perhaps he'll be more.. **forthcoming** when you reconcile.'_

Lavi nodded faintly, rising to his feet. "It isn't that I don't want to _know_ , I just don't want to pry. He never asks me about things like that either, probably because he still feels guilty about bringing me here.. Like he doesn't want to make me remember what I _had_." He walked over to flop onto the bed, sighing. "I don't even miss it all that much.. He doesn't treat me like a tool, or a burden."

Thinking of how the older man _did_ treat him sent a shiver up his spine, his eye widening at the familiar sensation of heat.

 _'Yes.. He's **very** good to you, sometimes.. But it won't last, not until he can't do without you.'_ The voice was almost wheedling, but the memory of the brunette's stricken face dampened his unease. _'We'll fix it, fix **everything** , for him.. But for now, think of all the things you want to keep.. His happiness..'_

He hummed softly, recalling the older man's brilliant smile on their daily excursions, the slight upward curve of his mouth when he found something amusing.. Even the curious lift of his narrow eyebrows was stored carefully away within the Exorcist's memories, as if waiting for the boy to seek it out in this way.

_'It hasn't been so very bad. You've done that for him, you know.. That and more. Doesn't he enjoy the things you do together?'_

Biting his lip, he thought of the _things_ they did, gasping at the first stirrings of memory-induced arousal. "He isn't the only one that likes it.. He always makes me so-" Unable to name the feelings brought on by the other, he chuckled breathlessly. "I really couldn't imagine it, before. But now.."

_'He's better than anything you imagined, isn't he? His mouth, hands.. Even how he feels on your skin, its all so much **more** than you thought..'_

The redhead sighed, rolling onto his back. "Yeah. Definitely more." Stretching, he sat up. "Well, I can't just sit here naked all day.. I need to go get a few things if we're gonna be here for a while." Walking to the door, he opened it, following the hallway to it's opposite end. Entering the older man's room, he frowned at the slight disarray, shaking his head. "Wow.. He doesn't need a friend, he needs a _maid_.." Picking up a shirt draped over the back of the man's desk chair, he dropped it into the hamper, wrinkling his nose at the almost-full ashtray.

"Great, now all the clothes will smell like smoke.." Spotting the pants he'd come for, he retrieved them with a sigh, seeing the man's pillow on the floor nearby. "Must have been a rough night.." He winced guiltily, setting aside his pants to reach for the pillow. Dusting it off, he bit his lip before crushing it to his chest, inhaling the scent of the older man on the soft material. Shivering, he forced himself to return it to it's proper place on the bed, lying down atop the carelessly flung back blankets with only an instant of hesitation.

Burying his face into the now-smooth pillowcase, he was stunned by a particularly strong tactile memory, the feeling of the cloth against his forehead, the faint _taste_ of the cotton when he'd licked his lips..

He gasped breathlessly at the thoughts, his eye closing with a short whine as he felt the familiar blurring of what was real and what _had_ been.

_~Raise your hips, Lovely..~_

He curled inward, eye closed tightly at the sharp spike of desperate longing. "No.. Not again, not _here_.."

_~Right there..? It's so good..~_

Pressing a hand to the junction of his thighs, he shuddered, shaking his head in silent denial.

_~Lavi..! Oh Gods, Lavi..~_

Moaning in distress, he shoved himself awkwardly to his feet, nearly forgetting his clothes in his haste to be gone. Snatching his pants from the bedside, he riffled through the low chest that the older man had filled with things he claimed to have no need for, taking several clean shirts and one more pair of dark-colored pants, adding another and two pairs of undershorts as an afterthought before slamming the drawer closed and all but fleeing the room.

Bolting down the hallway, he nearly skidded past the door, catching himself on the frame. Closing the door behind him, he panted rapidly, staggering to drop his clothes on the bed. He shook his head briskly, fighting to clear his thoughts with little success. Turning toward the bathroom, he managed only three clumsy steps before his legs buckled abruptly, the thick carpet leaving a stinging burn on the skin as he collapsed.

Bracing himself on his hands and knees, he hissed at the faint pain, pushing back to sit with a shaky laugh. "I must be going crazy.."

_~You make me lose my mind, Lovely..~_

He growled softly, remembering the shaken tone of that statement. Cupping his palm around the aching hardness between his legs, he ignored the urge to simply fall back into the memory, his eye closing as he squeezed gently. _"Oh.."_

The jolt of arousal was far stronger this time, but nowhere near the level of the first, and he moaned at the thought of the brunette's long fingers taking the place of his own, stroking the sensitive skin as his teeth left tiny marks along the side of his throat..

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The man in question was completely unprepared for the scene that awaited him at the hospital.

Upon entering the main lobby, he was struck by the harried appearance of unexpectedly large crowd, wondering if now were perhaps not the best time for his visit. Spotting a familiar face, he edged in the direction of the nurse's station, ignoring the random snippets of hushed conversation as he passed. Clearing his throat, he forced a smile as the woman turned toward him.

"Is this not a good time, Miss Porter..? You all seem rather.." He gestured to the throng behind him. "Should I try again later, or tomorrow?"

She frowned, nodding. "I'm so sorry, there was an accident uptown this morning, a fire.. We've close to thirty patients that need seeing to, everyone available was brought in to help with them." Biting her lip, she sighed. "We've called in a few sisters from the church to watch over the nursery, but they really don't want anyone visiting casually just now.. _Could_ you come tomorrow, instead?"

He nodded, waving a hand. "It's no trouble, I understand completely. Tomorrow afternoon, then?"

She smiled gratefully, reaching for a pile of papers scattered over the normally clean desk. "Of course. I really am sorry, Mr. Michaels." Turning to one of the whitecoated doctors nearby, she handed him several forms, waiting patiently as he looked over them. Flicking an apologetic glance at the brunette, she shrugged.

Nodding, he navigated his way back to the door, pausing just outside it to allow yet another group of nurses to pass through. Letting the door close carefully behind them, he sighed. Without Lavi, there was really nothing to do but return home.

Making his way to the sidestreet he most often used for 'travelling', he looked for any sign of passerby before willing himself back to the house, the twinge of teleportation making him wince as the familiar room appeared around him.

He immediately noticed the small changes since he'd left, blinking at the signs of the boy's presence. Noting that his clothes were now tucked away inside the small laundry hamper, he smiled faintly, glancing over the rest of the room. Seeing his pillow in its usual place, he moved to stand by the bed, sitting down heavily as he toed off his shoes.

"Perhaps he isn't _so_ annoyed after all.." He murmured, lying back on the mussed sheets. Taking a long breath, he frowned at the faint scent of the absent Exorcist, turning his face with a curious sniff. The scent seemed to linger around the pillow beneath his head, and he pressed it to his face with a sigh. _'He **was** here.. But why? Why would he have-'_

The thought was cut short by a soft noise, no more than a whisper really, but it was enough to capture the man's attention as he recognized the faint murmur of his lover's voice. Rising quickly, he strode to the door, opening it with a determined movement. Walking quickly down the narrow hall, he halted before the other's room, lifting a hand to knock.

The sound came again, this time as a wordless keening that shocked him into instant stillness, his closed hand only inches from the dark-colored wood as he gasped. At that distance, in the echoing confines of the corridor, it seemed as if the redhead were directly in front of him, doing things that made the older man shudder in reluctant arousal to imagine. Lowering his arm, he shook his head in disbelief as the Exorcist continued to verbally express his pleasure, interspacing his quiet moans with half-formed words that almost broke the other's already stilted control.

Gritting his teeth, he leaned his forehead against the cool surface of the door, eyes closed as he struggled to ignore the coiling heat in his veins at the sound of his name in that pleading tone of voice. There was a muffled thump from within, and he growled as the boy's breathless moans rose in volume as if to mock him.

_"Tyki.. **Tyki.!** Please, I want..!"_

He bolted upright with a sharp gasp, backing away as the redhead's words broke off into ragged cries that made him acutely aware of his painfully tight slacks. Whirling on his heel, he stalked back to his own room, the **others** in the back of his mind _demanding_ that he simply act on his want and ravage the boy until his urgency abated.

Closing the door behind himself, he stood just beyond it, hands clenched tightly as he struggled for control. The Exorcist's voice pierced him like a knife, the thought of exactly what it would _feel_ like to have the boy wrapped around him, making those noises..

He took a breath, forcing himself to relax despite the hunger he felt. "He needs more time.." He muttered, shaking his head. "I don't trust myself to be with him, even without-" The redhead's half-muffled cry of release left him speechless, his eyes closed as he shivered. Sighing, he walked to the bathroom, eyeing the empty bathtub. Reaching to close off the drain, he turned on the water, testing it briefly before gathering a few bathing supplies. Setting them by the tub's edge, he disrobed slowly, tugging the tie from his hair with a wince.

Bracing himself, he stepped into the shallow water, hissing at the near-arctic temperature. Growling a decidedly ungentlemanly word, he sat down, closing his eyes at the immediate rise of gooseflesh that covered his exposed skin. Gritting his teeth, he laughed humorlessly at his own foolishness, shaking his head. "How the mighty have fallen.."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The effects of an icy dip in the tub lasted until perhaps 3AM, when the man awoke with a jerk, eyes wide in the darkness as he sought the cause of his interrupted sleep. All too soon he heard a familiar low-pitched noise, the boy's breathy moan making him shudder even as his hands clenched tightly atop the blankets.

_'Is he really in so desperate need..?'_

He shook his head to clear it, taking a deep breath. "Too soon. He needs.." His quiet murmur faded into nothing at the wavering note that entered the Exorcist's voice, the sound almost tearful. Pushing himself to a sitting position, the brunette frowned. Why would Lavi be troubled by his.. actions? Admittedly, there were things that he could never hope to emulate, but-

The knowledge of exactly _what_ things the redhead could not provide for himself gave the man pause, his breath hitching painfully. Forcing down the thought, Tyki wondered if he were mistaken after all. The Exorcist fell abruptly silent, leaving the brunette as curious as he was aroused.

Just as he began to settle himself back into the bed, there was a rapid succession of noises, several low thumps and then the jarring sound of something breaking, and then something that brought him to full alertness, his feet hitting the floor almost before he'd thrown back his blankets.

The boy was screaming, his terrified cries mixed with jumbled bits of words that failed to translate into anything coherent in light of their sheer volume.

Moving swiftly to the door, Tyki jerked it open, striding down the hall with a muttered curse. In the time they'd spent together, he'd only once heard the redhead make such a sound, on the night he'd been forced to restrain and awaken him from a dream that he had yet to remember.

Now, the Exorcist was alone with whatever horror his sleeping mind had conjured, his closed door ignored by the increasingly panicked brunette as he simply phased through the wood in an effort to reach the still-thrashing body in the bed. Calling out to the other, he took hold of his flailing arms with as much care as restraining him allowed, repeating the boy's name despite the deafening level of his continued shrieks.

"Lavi! Wake up, it's only a dream! **Lavi!** "

_"I didn't mean to! Stop it, I didn't mean to kill you! Let me go!"_

He flinched as one of the redhead's arms pulled loose, his fingers scratching across his cheek dangerously near his eye. Ignoring the sharp sting, he seized the other's hand tightly, avoiding the point of a knee as Lavi bucked upward. Gritting his teeth, he freed the opposite arm, striking the Exorcist lightly across the face with his palm. The faint blow had no real effect, and he steeled himself before delivering a second, more forceful one. _"LAVI!"_

The boy's eye opened almost painfully wide, his gaze momentarily sightless as he sucked in a startled breath. Sighing in relief, Tyki eased his hold on the redhead's hand, frowning at the shattered lamp on the floor. "Lovely..? Are you all right, now?"

The Exorcist blinked rapidly, his head turning in the direction of the older man's voice blindly. "Can't.. I can't see you, what..?"

Bending closer, the brunette took advantage of his extremely sharp night-vision, lifting a hand to stroke the confused boy's hair. "You were dreaming, Lovely.. The lamp fell off of the table and broke." He kept his voice low, frowning at the other's faint shivers. "I'm sorry that I struck you, but you wouldn't wake up.. What was it, Lavi? Who did you see?"

The redhead took a breath, his brow furrowed in thought. "I don't know." He muttered finally, shaking his head. "I don't remember anything.." Sitting up, he dislodged the man's hand. "I'm sorry I woke you up, you can go back to bed."

Tyki hummed a negative. "I don't care about that. You said things this time, Lavi.. That you didn't mean to kill someone. Do you really have no memory of it?" He resumed his light petting, mildly annoyed with himself for allowing the boy to be alone. "Surely, you would-"

The Exorcist swatted his hand away angrily, glaring at him despite the darkness. "I said I don't fucking _know!_ Is that what you came in here for, to wake me up and call me a liar again?"

Surprised by his sudden ire, the man blinked. "No, Lavi! I didn't mean it like that, I just don't see how something could frighten you so badly without-"

Lavi cut him off with a growl, shoving clumsily at his side. "What the hell do you care? God, am I not allowed to have dreams unless I explain them to you? Just get the fuck out of here and leave me alone!"

Shaking his head, the brunette attempted to catch his hand to no avail. "The last time this happened, you were upset to the point of _tears_ , Lovely.. You don't seem much better now. Did.. Was it me, Lavi? Did I cause this?"

The Exorcist laughed sharply, avoiding his touch. "Jesus H. _Christ_ , your ego is unbelievable! I'll bet you're having a sadist's field day with this, huh? Poor little Lovely, off having horrible, scary old dreams about you.." He shook his head, jerking back as the man reached forward. "Get out. Having you here is a thousand times worse than any stupid nightmare.. At least I don't remember that."

Rising to his feet, Tyki winced. "I didn't mean to make you think that, Lavi.. Believe me, I take no pleasure in your suffering." Backing away, he sighed. "I'll go, if you wish, but.. Don't do this alone, Lovely. Call for me, or come and wake me if you need to-"

Waving scornfully, the boy nodded. "Yeah, I know.. If I feel like being 'comforted', I know exactly where you are, Tyki. Until then, I think I can take care of myself." He fluffed his pillow roughly, pulling up the rumpled blanket. "Go on, then. Maybe I'll feel like letting you do me if I have another one.. I guess we'll have to wait and see. Good _night_ , Tyki."

Sighing, the older man left the room in the same manner as his entrance, pausing to look back at the boy's closed door as if it would miraculously provide him with a solution to his problems. Shaking his head, he returned to his own room, sliding under the hastily rearranged bedding. Staring up at the high ceiling, he listened carefully for any indication that the redhead might indeed have fallen back into his troubled dreams, but there was only silence.

Closing his eyes, he shifted onto his side, his outstretched hand grazing the unused pillow. Frowning, he closed his fingers on the soft material, pulling it down against his chest. Inhaling the almost-gone scent of the other, he allowed himself to slip into an uneasy rest, vague worries following him through his own nightly wanderings.

 _'Tomorrow,'_ He thought fleetingly, _'I'll make him understand, somehow..'_

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After carefully selecting foods that he knew the Exorcist preferred, Tyki carried a small tray to the boy's room, balancing it awkwardly as he knocked on the door. Hoping that the redhead's temper had cooled since the previous night, he waited patiently until faint footsteps signaled the other's slow approach.

Keeping his manner relaxed, he smiled as the door swung open, the expression faltering somewhat at the boy's flat stare. "I brought you something, since you hadn't.."

Lavi glanced at the tray briefly, raising an eyebrow at the man's statement. "I wasn't hungry. Come on in, unless you want me to eat standing up." Crossing to the bed, he sat near the headboard, nodding for the brunette to place his burden there as well. Taking a careful sip from the tall glass of water, he scowled. "Well? Sit down or leave, Tyki."

Setting his napkin across his lap, he eyed the older man sharply. "Did _you_ have anything yet?" He frowned at the other's slight discomfort, shaking his head. "Stupid.. You should take care of yourself." Looking over the various items on the tray, he lifted a segment of orange, glaring at the brunette. "Open your mouth."

Blinking, Tyki stared at him dumbly for a moment, then complied. Leaning forward carefully, the redhead offered him the fruit with a steady hand, his stern look relaxing as the man gingerly accepted, minding the boy's fingers as he bit down.

Chewing thoughtfully, he watched the Exorcist closely, swallowing quickly when the redhead took a second piece from his plate. "I appreciate your concern, Lavi, but it's you that needs-"

Taking advantage of the man's comment, Lavi pushed the orange section firmly into his mouth, effectively cutting off his protest. "I've gone a lot longer than this without eating, Tyki. At least this way, I know you aren't starving yourself."

Reaching for a slice of apple, he took a bite, still watching the other stubbornly. Washing it down with a sip of water, he sighed. "Why are you doing this anyway? I wasn't on a hunger strike or anything, I'd have told you if there was something I needed, mad or not."

The brunette nodded, thinking carefully about his choice of words. "I didn't think you were, but with only the two of us here, I didn't want to force you to come to me until you were ready, Lavi. Even if I don't really understand why you're so angry with me, you deserve a chance to work it out in your own time." He allowed the boy to feed him a piece of apple, surprised at his forgotten appetite. Swallowing, he risked a smile. "Should I try feeding you, Lovely? It _is_ your breakfast, after all.. There aren't any gossipmongers here, so it shouldn't be embarrassing.."

Raising an eyebrow, the redhead shrugged. "If you think you need to. Be careful, though.. I'm still kinda mad, I might decide to bite the hand that feeds me."

Feigning chagrin, the older man sighed. "Oh, yes. You do have rather fearsome tendencies.. But surely you wouldn't take it _that_ far, not when I need my hands for-"

The Exorcist cut him off with a snort, shaking his head. "Finish that and I really will bite you. It's too early for depravity, at least wait 'til the afternoon."

Blinking innocently, Tyki hummed. "I was going to say 'nearly everything'.. But I could wait until lunchtime, and say something ridiculously suggestive then, if you'd like."

Snickering, Lavi waved a dismissive hand. "Forget it, Tyki. You'd explode if you had to wait that long." Nodding at the tray between them, he tipped his head. "So, are you feeling lucky?"

The older man laughed quietly in reply, reaching for a piece of orange. "I could never resist a game of chance, Lovely.. But my luck has always been surprisingly good." Holding the fruit out to the smirking redhead, he kept his hand still as the boy closed his teeth a mere hairsbreadth from his fingertips. Allowing him to take the segment from his grip, he made to pull away, but the Exorcist's hand clamped firmly around his wrist.

Pulling the man forward, Lavi pressed his mouth to the hollow of his palm, licking upward to the tip of his finger. Smiling at the brunette's shaken gasp, he released his hold. "Oh.. Did you _want_ the juice to run up your sleeve, Tyki?"

Glancing from his still-extended hand to the boy's smirking face, the Noah closed his eyes briefly, fighting the urge to test his luck even further. Hearing the Exorcist's quiet laugh, he frowned. "Thank you." He said, keeping his voice carefully neutral. "Do you want more?"

The redhead nodded, his amused expression turning mildly lecherous. "Most definitely. You?"

Tyki took a deep breath, shaking his head. "No, I think I've had quite enough.. Besides that, do you want to come to the hospital with me today? There was something of a situation there yesterday, so I had to postpone my visit." Offering the boy a slice of apple, he flinched slightly at the careless brush of the redhead's lips as he accepted it.

Lavi chewed silently, swallowing before he nodded. "Of course I'll come with you.. Are you in a rush?" He smiled at the man's negative, pushing the almost-empty tray far to the side. "Good. There's something I need to do before we go anyway."

The brunette had less than a second's warning before the Exorcist slid closer, his hands closing firmly on the older man's shirtfront as he pressed their mouths together with a hungry growl. Taking advantage of the other's surprise, the boy licked along the seam of his lips, urging the man to respond with a soft hum.

Shaking his head faintly, Tyki leaned back, his protest forgotten at the sight of the Exorcist's stricken expression. Tugging carefully at the redhead's hands, he wound their fingers together loosely. "Lavi, we can't-"

The boy closed his eye, averting his face sharply. "Not even that..?" Nodding, he pulled at their joined hands, blinking rapidly. "All right, then. You go ahead and take the stuff back, I'll get ready and meet you in a minute." Frowning, he attempted to shake free of the other's hold. "Look, I get it, ok? Just let-"

"No, Lovely." Tyki squeezed the Exorcist's hand carefully, forcing him to meet his gaze. "You never let me finish talking, do you..? I meant to say that we can't do those kinds of things until we've talked. Can you wait just a bit longer, please?" He sighed at the redhead's almost painfully eager nod, releasing his grip on one of the boy's hands. Brushing a stray lock of hair away from the Exorcist's face, he cupped his cheek gently. "Even then, we don't have to do anything, Lavi.. I was never angry with you, so don't do anything for my sake."

Leaning forward, he smiled. "We can just call that a thank you, if you don't mind.. And on the same note-" He tipped his head to one side, returning the boy's kiss with only a hint of passion in the soft contact. "You're most definitely welcome."

Retrieving the tray, he stood. "I'll put this away.. Was there anything else you needed, Lovely?" The Exorcist shook his head dazedly, also standing.

"Just my boots.. But you go ahead, I'll be right there." He watched the brunette make his way to the door, forcing himself to keep still until it swung shut behind him. Sinking heavily onto the bed, he shivered. "It's been long enough, right..? I.. I don't _want_ to be mad anymore, I just want to-"

_'It's fine, now.. You see? All he needed was a little time to think..'_

The Exorcist sighed in relief, nodding. "He said he wanted to talk before.. Anything else. That's a good thing, isn't it?"

_'Good enough for now. Let him talk, if he wants to.. But don't let it end there. See how far his trust goes, after.'_

"How far..? But we'll talk about that, too. I'll just tell him that it made me mad when he thought I lied-"

_'No, no. You shouldn't need to repeat yourself that way, after this. If he really believes what you say, he'll let us have him if you swear you've recovered..'_

"We.. You aren't going to leave? The last one just took off when he was done.."

The other laughed, the sound unnerving in his head. _'I won't. I'll stay right here until he doesn't need me, I promise. Now, let's get this over with, so you can have that little **talk** you've been wanting so much.'_

He smiled faintly, his face heating. "Not just me.. I bet he's been waiting for it too, after you made me-" He broke off with a shiver, laughing quietly. "I really thought he was going to walk right in, that last time.. But he just stood there listening. He must care about something besides _that_ , if he really wants to talk things out first."

The other was silent, but there was a sense of agreement there. He quickly retrieved his boots, fastening them just as the familiar sound of the older man's footsteps sounded in the hallway outside. Rising to his feet, he walked to the door, opening it before the brunette could knock. "Ah, sorry about that.. Took a little longer than I thought. You ready?"

Tyki nodded, reaching for the boy's waist. "Quite. Shall we, Lovely?"

Stepping forward, the redhead pressed close against the other's chest, smiling innocently at the man's quick exhale. "Mmhm.. Let's."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When they arrived at the hospital, Tyki was relieved to find the waiting area much less crowded than the morning previous, only a few unfamiliar nurses lingering about the desk as they approached. Seeing the redhead's questioning look, he smiled. "There was a serious fire in town yesterday, and the staff here was far too busy taking care of the victims to worry with my usual visit."

Lavi nodded, glancing around the quiet room. "They still look busier than I've ever seen them.. Do you think they'll send us home?"

Something in his tone made the brunette turn to look at him fully. "Do you want to leave, Lo- _Lavi_..? You didn't have to come with me if you'd rather not have."

The boy fidgeted guiltily, shaking his head. "I wanted to, really. I mean, I'd like to go eventually, but.. I missed seeing her, too. More than I thought I would."

Tyki laughed quietly, nodding. "I understand that, at least. I was rather.. Disappointed myself." Turning back toward the nurse's station, he smiled at the few curious women gathered there, focusing on the girl seated at the desk. "Sorry to bother you, is Miss Porter about..?"

She blinked at him dumbly for a moment, her eyes wide as she stammered. "She's.. I think-" Clearing her throat, she flushed at the quiet laugh from one of the other women. "I don't think she's come in yet, was there something I could help you with..?"

Lavi narrowed his eye slightly, edging closer to the older man. " _ **We're**_ here to visit one of the children in the Nursery.. The little redheaded one, Michaela." Frowning at her cursory glance, his look sharpened into a glare. "Could you take us back, or should we wait for a _professional?_ " He snorted at her soft gasp, shaking his head. "Then again, we could always stand here until you finish eyeballing my lover.."

Tyki stared down at him in speechless astonishment, aware that he was not alone in his scrutiny of the boy. After several seconds of decidedly uncomfortable silence, the girl rose from her chair, motioning toward the hall.

"This way, please."

The walk back to the Nursery waiting area was equally silent, the flustered girl gesturing them to the seats before disappearing through the door to retrieve the child in question. Waiting until she was well out of earshot, Tyki turned to the still annoyed redhead, at a loss to explain his sudden hostility.

"Lavi, that was completely-"

The boy sent him a long sideways stare, his voice low. "If she'd been ogling _me_ , you would have done the exact same thing. If it had been me eyeing up someone else, you would have said something to me." He cut off the older man's protest with a wave. "Was I not supposed to tell, Tyki? You shouldn't be screwing someone if you're going to be ashamed of it."

Slumping in his chair he sighed. "At least I didn't say 'Excuse me, could you please do your job so we can go home and have sex?'." Hearing the girl's footsteps nearing the door, he sat up, shaking his head. "Unless you want her to hear a whole lot of things that would.. embarrass you, I think we should probably add that to the list of things to talk about later."

Raising an eyebrow at the Exorcist's curt statement, Tyki bit off an angry retort, turning his attention to the approaching nurse. The squirming bundle in her arms was definitely Michaela, the bright shock of her auburn hair clashing almost humorously with the candy-pink of the nursery blanket. Smiling gratefully at the girl, he held out his hands, gathering the child against his chest. "Thank you, has she eaten yet? We usually give her a bottle before we leave, but we could forego the custom if its too much trouble.."

She shook her head, clearly nonplussed. "Its no trouble at all, I'll get one for you.. Is there anything else you need? I'm due to go offshift soon, I could-"

Lavi appraised her coolly, cutting her off mid-sentence. "Go home. I'm sure you've had a long day."

Her cheeks heated fiercely, her mouth closing with an almost audible snap. Turning on her heel, she walked to the much smaller nurse's station, gathering the feeding supplies with jerky motions. Preparing the bottle with hot water from a small decanter, she checked the temperature against her wrist before returning, holding it out to the redhead as if she thought he may bite.

Smiling thinly, he took it, noting that the glass felt just shy of too hot. "Thank you. Run along now, we'll be a while." Watching her leave, he sighed. "Take your time, Tyki.. This is a little too warm right now."

The brunette shook his head, tucking the blanket well away from the girl's face. "What's wrong, Lavi? I've never known you to be so deliberately rude."

The Exorcist frowned, crossing his arms. "Sure you have. It's just been a long time since then." Placing the bottle carefully in the chair beside him, he leaned toward the man's side, smiling down at the child's wide-eyed face. "Well, hi! We missed you, did you miss us?"

Michaela gurgled in reply, swatting gleefully at his hair.

He laughed, offering her a finger. "Guess so.. Looks like they tried to cut your hair, too." He ruffled a slightly lopsided patch, wrinkling his nose. "And it looks like you didn't exactly cooperate."

Tyki chuckled at the child's likely reaction to such a thing. "I daresay she didn't.. But it'll grow out in time." Smoothing his palm over the crown of her head, he glanced at the Exorcist. "You don't need to be jealous, Lovely.. And I don't mind you 'telling' anyone about us. I had assumed that _you_ would rather they not know."

The boy huffed quietly, carefully avoiding the other's stare. "Why not? I told you, the only thing I regret about being with you is that I lied.. I just thought, 'I can't tell the truth, because there's no way that he wants anything to do with me. '. I'm not really the brightest person, you know? I thought you were going to take what you wanted and then kill me." Shrugging, he stroked his thumb over the girl's knuckles. "I still don't know why you didn't. I said I'd try to help you, but all I've done is cause trouble.. Today's the same. Now everybody in this place will hear about us, and-"

Tyki shook his head, catching the Exorcist's chin to turn him. "Let them hear. I really couldn't care less what a few emptyheaded girls think of me." Urging the redhead closer, he leaned in purposefully, smiling at the boy's wide eye. "As far as causing 'trouble', I think I rather like it.. Perhaps it's therapeutic, Lavi." Taking advantage of the other's surprise, he pressed their lips together gently, humming contentedly at his soft noise of appreciation.

A quickly indrawn breath from the side registered faintly, and they broke apart sharply.

Standing halfway through the door, a brilliantly flushed Sarah Porter fidgeted awkwardly for something, _anything_ to say that would make her embarrassment less prominent. After several aborted attempts, she smiled crookedly, wincing at the two's differing expressions at her presence.

The younger wore a look of absolute horror, his normally cheerful face devoid of color as he glanced from his companion to the still-silent nurse. The brunette seemed more surprised than anything else, his expression calm even as he gauged her reaction closely. Swallowing roughly, she stepped into the room, closing the door behind her carefully.

"I heard from the day nurse that you'd come, I'm sorry to have missed you before." She purposefully sidetracked from what she _hadn't_ missed, nodding at the happily cooing child in the older man's lap. "She missed you yesterday, I think.. We had quite a time with her, she simply refused to let us handle her overmuch." Recalling the cause of the baby's anger, she smiled genuinely, digging into her pockets. "One of the other girls decided to give her a bit of a trim, but she wasn't very receptive.. We only managed to get a small part done before she went completely to pieces on us."

Pulling out a tiny object, she crossed the floor slowly, her smile faltering at the redhead's narrow gaze. "Forgive me if it's none of my business, but I thought you might want this." She offered the older man the item from her pocket, revealing it to be a small scrap of cloth.

He took it carefully, frowning thoughtfully. "Just a moment.." He turned to his companion, smiling faintly. "Could you take her for me, Lavi? I need both hands.."

The Exorcist nodded, slipping his hands beneath the girl's head and back, shifting her to rest comfortably in the bend of his arm. Tyki hummed gratefully, unfolding the material carefully. Inside lay a single copper-colored curl, one end tied off with a slender length of thread. He tipped his hand to show it to the younger boy, wincing at his troubled expression.

"Thank you, Miss Porter.. It's very thoughtful of you." He met the woman's eyes directly, wondering if he should take his cue from her avoidance. Deciding that no good would come of hesitance, he raised an eyebrow. "Does it trouble you? I'd rather not stop visiting, but we could change to a different time, if you don't want to continue our association."

Drawing herself up stiffly, Sarah shook her head. "No. I admit that it.. Surprises me, all things considering, but it's nothing to be upset about. The only thing that matters to me is her." She nodded at the quietly fussing child. "No one who cares enough to do what you've been doing could possibly be bad.. If not for the two of you, she'd have no one at all."

Frowning guiltily, Lavi retrieved the cooled bottle, giving it a few gentle shakes before offering it to the tiny girl. "He's not. I don't think he ever really was." Seeing the woman's curious look, he shook his head. "Nevermind. I'm sorry that you had to see it, but I'm not sorry that it happened. Ah, did you want to feed her, Tyki? I didn't even think-"

The brunette laughed quietly, waving a hand. "Next time, Lavi.. I doubt she minds, being that she's already dozing.." And she was, her eyes slid to halfmast as she groped about with a soft noise of discontent. Reaching to stroke her palm, he allowed her to take hold of his finger, shaking his head at her pleased wriggle. "So predictable.. But greediness of understandable at her age, yes?"

Sarah nodded quickly, rocking back on her heels in relief. "I think she simply enjoys the company. Most babies and smaller children attempt to overcompensate with pleasant things." Turning to the Exorcist, she smiled. "I usually have good intuition, Mr. Lavi. If I thought for an instant that the two of you were a bad sort, I'd never have left you alone with her." Biting her lip, she colored slightly. "Besides, who you love is your own affair.. As long as you make each other happy."

The redhead shrank back from her statement visibly, his expression guarded. "Yeah.. But it's good that someone cares for her. She deserves it." His avoidance of the woman's personal opinion made her frown, worried that perhaps she'd addressed an issue that was best left unmentioned.

"I'm sorry, for interrupting your time with her.. But there shouldn't be any more problems this week, most of the patients from the fire are doing well." She looked quickly from one to the other, her unease growing at the pair's now-tense silence. "I'll let you get back to it, then.."

Tyki shook his head, motioning to the girl's completely limp form. "There's no need, it seems we've lost our audience." He gently withdrew his fingers from her grasp, smiling. "Well done, Lovely.. You definitely have a talent for this sort of thing." Taking the empty bottle from his hand, he held it out to the faintly amused Sarah, shrugging. "We'll have to be sure that we keep to less serious topics on our next visit, I believe she found us rather boring."

The woman laughed quietly, placing the container carefully into her pocket. "She didn't sleep too well yesterday, it's no surprise that she's tired.. But I think she's far more relaxed than bored. Do you want me to take her?"

Lavi nodded, smiling faintly. "I'd rather she get her rest than stay awake for us.. She has a lot of growing to do, right?" Folding the blanket securely around the sleeping child, he lifted her to his chest, impulsively burying his face against the side of her hair with a sigh. Pressing his lips briefly to her temple, he blushed at the brunette's soft chuckle. "What? Jealous?"

The older man nodded solemnly, reaching to take the girl from his arms. "Insanely. How sad, that you kiss pretty young things right before my poor miserable eyes." He cradled her close to his body, inhaling the mildly sweet scent of soap and powder on her skin. Mimicking the Exorcist's actions, he delivered a light kiss to her sleeping face, smiling at her content expression. "Now we're even. How do _you_ like it, Lavi?"

The redhead snickered quietly, rising to his feet. "I think I can control myself until we're away from potential witnesses. You ready? If word gets out that you're feeling touchy, we might have to go out the window."

Sarah took the child from the brunette's carefully extended arms, fighting down a smile at their banter. "I won't tell a soul.. You'll be by tomorrow afternoon, then? I'll be on, so hopefully I can play with her a bit before you get here, she may be more alert that way."

Tyki nodded, also standing. "Perhaps a bit later than today, so she can have a nap if she needs to. Thank you for this, also." He tucked her gift into a pocket, glancing at the bemused Exorcist. "Shall we go, Lavi?"

Inclining his head politely to the smiling nurse, he took the boy's elbow, guiding him toward the door. "Now, wave goodbye to the nice lady, _dear_." He teased, avoiding a badly placed boot. "Goodness, don't make me spill any **other** secrets, Lavi.."

The Exorcist snorted, waving dutifully to the confused woman as he was steered through the door. "Has anyone ever told you that you're funny, Tyki?" He asked, ignoring the looks from the desk nurses.

The brunette nodded, the corners of his mouth twitching faintly. "Once or twice.. Why do you ask?"

The redhead snickered. "They lied."

The man affected an air of injured dignity, holding open the main door to the street. "I've always thought that I was singularly amusing, Lavi.. How many times have I _entertained_ you to the point of tears?"

Gaping at him stupidly, Lavi flushed to the roots of his hair. _"Tyki!_ "

Closing the door behind them, the brunette smiled brightly. "I told you I'd wait until lunchtime, didn't I?" He laughed at the boy's incredulous spluttering, walking to their usual point of departure. "Weren't you in a hurry to be home, Lovely..? I'm sure we could find something else to do, if you'd like.."

Lavi shook his head firmly, joining the man in the alleyway. "Not on your _life._ Let's go, before you decide that you need to do any more 'entertaining', hm?" He closed his eye against the slight disorientation of teleporting, wondering how the older man seemed so completely unaffected by the odd sensation.

Feeling the cooler air of the house around him, he blinked, glancing around the familiar scenery of the brunette's room. "Geez.. I think **you** were in a hurry."

Tyki smirked, shaking his head. "Not really. I just thought I should take advantage of your good mood." Toeing off his shoes, he pulled the chair from his desk toward the bed, sinking into it gratefully. "Gods, I hate those things.. But besides that, have a seat, Lovely.. We really do need to talk."

Nodding, the Exorcist slid the matching footstool over to rest across from him, sitting down with a sigh. "We do.. But I really don't want to fight with you anymore, okay? Just.. Take my word for it, when I tell you that I'm all right now."

Tyki winced, reminded of the initial problem behind their falling out. "I wish it hadn't been an issue at all, Lavi. We're both reasonably mature people, we shouldn't have a problem telling each other if we need a break."

The boy scowled, his hands closing faintly on the material of his pantslegs. "You say that now, but you treated me like a kid, Tyki. I didn't know it was like that either, but you made it sound like I'd set out to fool you! Everything after that was like a grown-up time out, I don't think I've ever been that mad in my _life._ "

Shaking his head, the brunette frowned. "I didn't think it would make you so angry, Lavi. All we needed to do was take more time, only a few days.. Was so short a respite simply too much to bear? You should have known that I was more concerned with your comfort than anything else."

The Exorcist shrugged, his expression serious. "I was more angry that you called me a liar, Tyki. If you really felt like that, you shouldn't have me so close to you all the time, I could be lying to you about everything.. But after all that you went through, I think I can understand why you don't trust me. Just forget about it, it's not like you brought me here to be _friends_.."

Tyki blinked at him in surprise, then frowned. "I never claimed to distrust you, Lovely. Why would I keep you so close at hand, if all I wanted was a ready source of pleasure? I certainly wouldn't have brought you to my bed, I could simply have left you to your own devices and partaken of your services at will."

The boy shook his head slightly, waving a dismissive hand. "It doesn't really matter, now. You know I'd let you, so where would the challenge be? You said so yourself, I'm not a danger.. I couldn't hurt you when I had the chance, remember? You were asleep and I had your knife in my hand, but in the end I couldn't bring myself to do anything. You're right, there really isn't any reason for you not to trust me. I was wrong to be upset."

He rose from his seat, looking down at the other with a half smile. "Show me, then. I told you I'm fine, so if you trust me, you shouldn't have any problem with a little _touching_ , right?"

The older man leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "I just don't think its a good idea, Lavi. Its only been two days, surely one or two more wouldn't kill either of us."

The Exorcist shook his head firmly, backing away. "Its been long enough. If you want me, do something about it." He raised an eyebrow at the other's frown, stopping just shy of the bed. "You don't? That's fine too, but I don't have _nearly_ as much willpower as you do.."

Sinking back onto the mattress, he sighed quietly, unbuttoning his shirt. Dropping it to the side carelessly, he smiled faintly. "I'll just take care of it myself then.. Unless you won't let me do that either?" He stroked his fingers down his chest, moving from collarbones to navel and back.

"Will you watch me while I do it, Tyki..? Maybe it won't be so bad, if I can see you.." He trailed his fingers over the waist of his pants, shivering at the man's wide eyed attention. "I know it won't feel as good as _your_ hands, but.. Oh, God.." His voice caught at the press of his palm through the material, his eye closing as he moaned. " _Yes.._ "

Shaking his head faintly, he panted. "Its not.. as good, but.. Fuck, I want it so _bad.._ " His back arched as he slid his fingers between the garment and his skin, gasping at the urgency of his arousal. Leaning backward against the blanket, he withdrew his hand, shoving the annoying clothing down and kicking it off. Rising to his knees, he bit his lip in mild embarrassment, the silent brunette's steady gaze making him shudder as he cupped himself.

"Will you let me lick you after I'm done? You can watch me do that, too.. God, its so fucking hot to just _imagine_ it.. The way your hands would feel on my head when you came.. The way you'd taste.." He mewled softly at the memory of the man's touch, his own movements unsteady. "Oh my God.. _Tyki..!_ "

The older man bolted to his feet, crossing the narrow space from chair to bed in three quick strides. Burying his hand in the boy's hair, he jerked him forward roughly, catching his mouth with a growl as he planted a knee between the other's parted thighs. Leaning him back carefully, he pulled away for air. "You little tease.." He muttered, sliding his free hand beneath his hips to lift him flush against his body. "I hope for your sake that you can reach the nightstand from here, because I'm not going _anywhere_."

The redhead stretched his arm over his head, his fingers falling just shy of the tabletop. Smiling wickedly up at the older man, he shook his head. "Not like this, I can't.. But I could probably reach if I were on my knees."

Gripping his hips tightly, the former Noah returned his edged smile. "And what if I want you to stay just like this..?"

The Exorcist arched wantonly into his body, humming softly. "Then I'd stay here.. But I'd have to do _something_.. Would it be all right to just lick your fingers..?" He moaned at the obvious press of the man's arousal, lifting a leg to hook around his thighs. "You should let me get what we need though.. If we don't have that, you won't be able to fuck me as hard as I want you to.."

Pulling back, the brunette took hold of his shoulders roughly, turning him around to face the blankets with a dark laugh. "At least it's no great loss.. You're equally persuasive from this side as well, Lovely." He pressed his weight firmly against the Exorcist's backside, bracing himself with one hand on the other's hip as he tugged off his shirt. "Do see to that, unless you think my aversion to pain is enough to make me forget what you said."

Nodding eagerly, Lavi retrieved the bottle, nearly dropping it at the sensation of the man's tongue moving from the base of his spine to the bottom of his ribs. "Don't forget, because I _meant_ it.. Here, hurry the Hell up before I stop caring who's the Seme."

Humming in confusion, the older man took the bottle from his shaky hand, allowing his pants to slip through his body. "I'm not quite sure I follow you, Lavi."

The Exorcist shifted impatiently, biting his lip. "It means you'll be topping from the bottom if you don't get a move on."

Shaking his head at the other's silence, he half-turned with a pointed glare. " _That_ means I'm about fifteen seconds away from seeing how good you look on your back, Tyki. But like you said, it wouldn't really be a loss, huh?"

The brunette smiled thinly, removing the lid of the container and setting it aside. "You could do that if you wish, Lovely.. I certainly wouldn't complain." Coating his fingers thoroughly, he drew a line along the ridge of the Exorcist's tailbone, pausing just above his destination. "In fact.. I believe that it might be even better than this, just to sit back and watch your face while you have me."

Lavi hummed in amusement, shaking his head. "I know you wouldn't complain.. And neither would I. It always feels so good like that, should I ride you more often..?" He pressed back against the man's fingers, laughing quietly. "I love it, but it never lasts very long.. Maybe because you can't keep me from doing it the way I want to?"

He hissed at the brunette's rough grip, closing his eye at the press of his fingers. "Don't bother teasing, Tyki.. I can still handle myself if you take too long." As if to prove his point, he braced himself on one hand, cupping his arousal with the other. "Oh, _fuck_ yes.."

The man growled at his words, the hard clench of the redhead's muscles making him wonder how much more he could stand. "No teasing, Lavi. As soon as I know that I won't hurt you, I fully intend to make up for lost time."

The Exorcist rocked his hips backwards, panting softly. "Hurt me, if you have to.. I might like it, since it feels good when you're a little rough." He shifted his weight, spreading his legs for stability. "Or a lot rough. Hell, you just feel good _period_. Are you ready yet? I really have been waiting.."

Removing his fingers, the brunette took hold of the other's shoulders, jerking him to his knees. "You weren't waiting, Lovely. I could _hear_ you, did you know that? Every time you touched yourself, I knew."

Lavi pressed firmly against his body, nodding. "I meant for you to. I wanted you to know exactly what I was doing, in there by myself.." He smiled at the man's sharp inhale, his hands tracing small circles on the other's thighs. "It wasn't perfect, but just remembering how it felt to have you in me was enough to get me off.. Did you like hearing it, Tyki? I bet it got _you_ off, too.."

He turned just far enough to meet the brunette's wide eyes, smiling. "Why don't you show me how much better the real you is?" Urging the man's hands down to his hips, he moaned. "The real me probably feels better too.. Did you do that when I wasn't here, Tyki..? I just _had_ to, I would have gone completely crazy without you.."

Tyki swallowed roughly, his hands shaky on the boy's skin. "No, I didn't.. Are you really fine now, Lavi? I never meant to hurt you.." He bent his head, following the Exorcist's hairline with his lips. Feeling the redhead's quick nod, he forced himself to relax, breathing deeply. "Don't let that happen again, Lovely. Don't hide things from me, not when you don't need to."

The boy nodded again, shifting restlessly. "I didn't really mean to, you just.. Ever since we went to.. that place.. You wanted so much, all the time! It _felt_ good, to have you need me like that.." He shivered in recollection, humming. "That's what I stayed for, Tyki.. To give you what you needed." Tracing the line of the other's forearms, he rocked persistently backward, his movements making the brunette gasp. "Right now, you need this.. I do, too. Do it, please?"

The older man murmured in agreement, releasing his hold on the boy's hips. Bending his knees beneath himself, he turned the redhead around to face him, pulling him forward to straddle his legs. "I want to see you, Lavi.. Like this?"

Winding his arms around the brunette's shoulders, the Exorcist nodded, leaning in for a kiss. Rising to his knees, he whimpered at the sensation of the man's arousal against his entrance, his breath shortened in anticipation as he tightened his grip. "Now..?" He lowered himself slightly, gasping as the other lifted his hips in response. "Please, I want you..! Let me-"

Tyki repeated his careful movement, holding the redhead's gaze steadily. "Anything you wish, Lovely.. Take what you want."

The Exorcist panted helplessly, rocking back to sheath the man fully inside himself with a halting cry. He closed his eye tightly, his fingers digging into the brunette's skin as he began to move, the rhythm stilted until the older man took hold of his waist gently.

Urging the boy's face up, Tyki gasped at the expression there, the redhead's eye bright with something almost feverish. "Lavi..?"

Laughing harshly, the Exorcist shook his head. "Perfect.." He growled, grinding himself against the other. "I thought _remembering_ was good enough.. What a fucking **joke**." His voice shook, but what struck the older man was his tone, the sound of his words heavy with honesty.

Biting his lip at the brunette's quick shiver, Lavi paced his movements to match the other's quickened breaths. "I really do love this," He whispered, leaning closer to the man's surprised face. "Its just so fucking _hot_ to watch you.. I know you don't believe me, but.. You really are beautiful, Tyki."

Catching the older mans lips, he stroked his fingers over one angular cheekbone, whining at the slick press of his tongue. Lifting his head, he moaned, cupping a hand around the other's neck. "I want this to last, but I don't think it will.. Even if I don't watch, I _know_ that its you. "

The brunette nodded, his hands tightening fractionally. "I _want_ you to know who I am, Lovely.. If that excites you, so much the better." He pulled the boy down firmly, holding him in place with a low hiss. "You aren't the only one who thinks these things.. I rather enjoy being the one that makes you feel this way." He silenced the Exorcist's pleading sound with his mouth, one hand rising steadily along his spine. Leaning back for air, he kept the redhead close against him as he rocked upward, following the curve of his throat with his tongue.

" _Is_ the real me better, Lavi..? Sometimes I thought I'd go mad listening to you, but.. I think it took longer, when you were alone. Are you so close because its me doing this?" He hummed contentedly at the boy's gasped confirmation, allowing his grip to loosen. "Don't forget, then.. Don't replace me with a memory, not when I would give you anything you asked me for." Feeling the other's back arch, he moaned. "Gods, you feel so _good_ , Lovely.. More, please..?"

The Exorcist nodded eagerly, fingers digging into the man's back as he bucked. "You don't have to ask like that.. I'm yours, remember?" He shuddered as the brunette's hands lowered to curl around his hips, the touch at once urgent and possessive. Staying close, he wound one hand into the other's hair, tugging his head back carefully. Taking a breath, he bit his lip at the older man's steady gaze, shaking his head with a rough laugh.

"Tell me what you want, Tyki. You always leave it up to me, but it can't stay that way.. And I don't _want_ it to. Not this time." He stroked the brunette's back heatedly, relishing his shaken growl. "I want to make you feel the same way I did, when you told me you wanted to ..try."

The older man rose eagerly to meet his movements, his fingers tightening on the redhead's skin. "How _did_ you feel, Lavi..? You never told me.."

The Exorcist gasped at his soft question, shaking his head. "It.. I felt like.." He faltered noticeably, clinging to the other like a second skin. "I wanted more of it." He choked, intensifying his efforts. "I..I thought of that, when I.."

The brunette nodded, assisting his ragged motions. "You wanted that, Lovely..? You could have had it, all you needed to do was ask." He leaned forward quickly, allowing gravity to pull them back onto the bed. Slowing his thrusts, he kept the Exorcist close as he moaned. "It really was the best time, wasn't it? I haven't forgotten.."

The boy's hips strained upward, his hands fisting tightly into the blankets. "Oh, God yes.. You.. _There!_ Right there!" He cried out breathlessly, back lifting in mute encouragement. "We- I want you to mean it! Please, I _need_ you!" Wrapping his arms around the astonished man's neck, he yanked him down for a hurried kiss, leaning back only just far enough to speak.

"I'm sorry," He shook his head dizzily, his knees pressed high along the brunette's ribs. "Just take what I can give you now.. I promise we'll fix _everything_ if you wait for me.."

The older man gasped at his fervent declaration, a hand supporting the other's weight as he forced himself to hold his pace. "I told you already, Lovely.. You need only ask for a thing to have it." He hissed at the boy's answering cry, the obvious signs of his approaching limit driving the brunette on to a more demanding rhythm. Sparing a moment of guilt for the redhead's newly-healed body, he struggled to keep himself somewhat in control despite his urgency.

As if sensing his thoughts, the Exorcist whimpered brokenly, rising to meet his movements. "Please don't stop.. Its.. Just like this is _perfect_ , Tyki.." He wrapped his legs tightly around the man's waist, arms closing likewise behind his lowered head. "Its so damned good.. Please let me come?" The brunette's ragged moan made him shudder, his jerky nod drawing a pleading noise from the younger boy as he continued to raise his hips into the man's touch. Closing his eye, he bore down forcefully on the length within him, stunned by the sharp flare of pleasure brought on by the act.

The effect on the other was equally unexpected, the man's voice halting and rough as he quickened his pace. "Lavi..! That.. Again, _please_!" He buried his face against the boy's throat, his breath hot and damp on the skin as he raised the Exorcist higher. "So close.. Gods, I want-"

The Exorcist complied instantly, his fingers digging into the brunette's hair to keep him in place. "Hurry, m'closer.. than.. _Tyki..! Now!_ " He bucked hard against the older man's shaking body, his voice near silent as he rode out the unbelievably intense rush of his climax. The brunette's weight pressed against him almost painfully, a shockingly animalistic sound torn from his throat as he sank himself inside his lover with a movement so rough as to leave nothing save his shoulders touching the rumpled blankets.

For the span of several seconds, they stayed just so, each clinging to the other as they gasped in tandem for breath, shaken by this unknowable change between them. When the older man realized the awkwardness of their positions, he eased himself backward, the wet slide of the boy's skin against his own making him shiver with a surprised laugh that was almost giddy.

"Gods, Lovely.. I want to say I'm sorry, but.." He shook his head, suppressing another undignified sound. "I can't be sorry for that." Lifting himself to his elbows, he faltered at the other's unblinking stare. "Lavi..? What is it? Did.. Did I hurt you?" He began to panic at the boy's continued silence, cupping his face with a still unsteady hand. "Please, answer me! Why-"

The Exorcist drew a breath, exhaling raggedly. "S'ok.. Just.. Lay here with me. I don't want to move, yet." Seeing the brunette's hesitance, he shook his head, drawing him down for a leisurely kiss. Pulling back, he sighed in contentment, urging the other onto his side. Curling to his chest, he draped an arm around his waist, palm flattened against the man's back as he relaxed. "Thank you, for that.. And for this."

Tyki returned his embrace, shaking his head. "Don't thank me until we see how sore you are in the morning, Lovely.. And thank _you_ , also." He chuckled softly, lowering his face into the boy's hair. "Was that 'make-up sex', Lavi..? I've heard that's supposed to be rather.. Something."

Snickering quietly, the Exorcist sighed. "You say that like I would know.. But I think you could _definitely_ say it was something."

The man hummed curiously, his fingers drawing a random pattern on the other's back. "Oh? Pardon, I assumed that since you evidently know everything _else_.."

Lavi squirmed briefly, bringing his free arm between them. "I know where you're ticklish.." He demonstrated with a light poke just below the brunette's shortest rib, grinning sleepily at his immediate attempt to draw up his legs. "Now, be nice. I don't like talking pillows."

For a while, they lay in companionable silence, the boy's deep breathing alerting the man to his seeming exhaustion. Frowning, he hooked the uppermost sheet with his foot, stretching awkwardly until he could tug it up to cover them. Extinguishing the dim light, he settled carefully beside the redhead, gathering him close with a sigh. Recalling the Exorcist's final statement, he was faintly surprised to find that he didn't mind his extremely verbose blanket in the least.

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Look, people. I thought I made myself clear, but apparently I was mistaken. If you can't be bothered to tell me what you like, or don't like, then don't trouble yourself with alert/fave adding ok? Thanks tons. And especially thanks to the ones who actually LISTENED. Your mails were greatly appreciated.


	10. Legion's Key

Nightmare Game  
A D.Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By SisterWicked  
Chapter 10 - Legion's Key

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Well, I'm not much for these, but since it's been so long, I'll at least make an honest attempt. After real life intruded into the scene, things took a backburner. And frankly, I almost lost interest in writing for this fandom because 3/4 of my 'fans' are douchebags that whine and cry when asked to provide simple feedback in exchange for the immense effort spent on my part as well as the rest of my group. Bottom line? If you really think it's so 'wonderful and hot!1!', LEAVE A FUCKING COMMENT. Lack of it, positive OR negative, is why I've only been posting to my group's private archive. Don't like that? Kiss my motherfucking ass.  
With that said, here's your goddamned update.  
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The first thing that Lavi noticed upon awakening was the extreme proximity of his sleeping lover's body.

The man's left arm was a not-altogether unpleasant weight across his middle beneath the sheets, and his left leg lay intertwined with the redhead's own, effectively preventing his escape through anything less than heroic effort and stealth. His right arm lay beneath the Exorcist's pillow, allowing full contact of chest to back.

Even in his mostly-alert state of mind, the boy was hard pressed to name their arrangement as anything but _cuddling_. The very idea left him snickering helplessly, and after several moments of half stifled glee, he felt the other stir reluctantly.

"Mm.. Something amusing, Lovely..?"

The languid tone of his question stoked the Exorcist's hilarity to completely new levels, and he replied as best he could through fits and starts of laughter. "You.. Did you think I was gonna- Oh, _God_ \- sneak off somewhere, Tyki?" He turned carefully, facing the man with an almost serious expression. "Did you miss me that much..? It's usually me latched onto you, you know."

The brunette raised an eyebrow at his statement, smiling faintly. "As a matter of fact, yes. I've gotten used to having you here, so I intended to take full advantage of my regained comfort." Tightening his arm, he urged the redhead forward. "I wasn't quite finished yet.. But besides that, did you sleep well despite my clinginess, Lavi?" He hummed contentedly at the Exorcist's firm nod, his fingers tracing meaningless patterns over the skin of his back. "That's good.. Did you see the clock? It feels like we've missed the morning entirely."

Glancing over the other's lowered head, he laughed. "Almost two in the afternoon.. We should be ashamed of ourselves." In outright conflict with his remark, he settled closer still, his touch lowering by teasing degrees until the boy inhaled sharply. "Are you ashamed, Lovely..? We _did_ have an almost excusable reason to lie abed so late."

The redhead swallowed heavily, shaking his head. "N-no, not really.. But I think we should probably work on getting up soon."

Tyki laughed, stroking his palm over the curve of the boy's lower back deliberately. "Oh, I thought that's exactly what we were doing.. My mistake."

The Exorcist growled softly, pressing close against the man's chest. "It _is_ a mistake, unless you're going to finish what you start." Allowing the other to pull away, he sighed. "I'll take that as a no, then. Can I move now? You won't get to visit the hospital if we don't leave the bed." At the mention of their daily activity, the brunette's eyes widened almost comically, and the boy found himself abruptly alone.

Tyki shook his head quickly, annoyed with himself. "Ah, they must think we aren't coming, it's never been quite this late, after all." Crossing the room, he rummaged through his wardrobe, ignoring the redhead's speculative glance at his uncovered backside as he retrieved the clothing he sought. Looking back at the watching Exorcist, he hummed curiously. "Will you be joining me, Lovely..? As much as I approve, I doubt you're in a fit state for visiting children.."

Scowling, Lavi pushed free of the blankets, wincing at the faint soreness of his muscles. "Very funny. Hand me some clothes and we can go." Accepting a shirt and a set of undergarments, he shrugged his arms into the slightly too-big former, fastening the buttons. Stepping into the latter, he sighed at the closeness of the cut. "I can't believe that these fit you.."

The older man laughed outright at the other's discomfited examination of his own rear, gesturing at himself. "I'm simply not as well.. Proportioned as you, Lavi. I had actually considered purchasing clothing more to your size, but you'd never mentioned it so I decided to wait until you asked."

Biting his lip, the redhead nodded faintly. "You don't have to, it really isn't that bad." Taking a pair of pants, he finished dressing himself silently, frowning at the man's sudden interest. "I can't pay you back if you do, all right? You don't have to waste money on me-"

Tyki stepped forward quickly, gripping the boy's shoulders. "I wouldn't expect repayment for a _gift_ , Lovely! You're going to need things eventually, yes?" Bending close, he raised an eyebrow at the redhead's silence. "If I'm going to keep you here, the least I can do is provide for your most basic needs.. Would you be angry with me, if I wanted to do those things for you?"

The Exorcist avoided his gaze, shrugging. "Not like I can stop you.. Do whatever you want." Turning to locate his boots, he returned to the bed, sitting down to pull them on. Securing the last buckle, he looked up. "Ready when you are, Tyki."

The brunette nodded slowly, stretching out an arm in invitation. The boy approached warily, standing just short of actual contact. "Then let's be off, shall we..? We can discuss your attire at a more opportune time." Taking hold of the redhead's waist, he urged his head up with a smile, one hand rising to press firmly against his back. "Don't be annoyed with me, please..? I only thought of your happiness." Leaning down, he brushed their lips together lightly, humming at the boy's eager response. After a moment, he straightened, sighing when the Exorcist scowled up at him in clear dissatisfaction. "I'll make it up to you later, if you like."

Lavi huffed quietly, closing his eye to ward off the effects of the other's mode of travel. "Sure you will. That's why you just let your mouth write a check that your ass couldn't cash." Hissing at the sudden lurch of dislocation, he blinked in surprise when the brunette's hold tightened almost painfully, his eye widening at the rough texture of stone against his unprepared back. Struggling to regain his bearings, he gasped abortively when the older man's lips covered his own with demanding intent, his hands clenching into the material of his shirt at the possessive strokes of a tongue against his own.

Lifting his head with a short growl, Tyki stayed close enough to keep his voice at the level of a whisper. "There was the time to consider, then.. And as far as _cashing_ goes, I believe you could say that I own the bank, Lovely."

Smirking at the redhead's startled sound, he lowered his hands from waist to hips, pulling the boy firmly against himself with a soft laugh. "But what of you? We agreed to be more careful, yes..?" He rocked his weight forward deliberately, his fingers angling downward to curl around the fullness of the Exorcist's rear for leverage. Hearing his shaken whimpers at the movement, he pressed a kiss to the line of his throat. "It may be another day, but I fully intend to keep my word."

The boy's voice was equally low, but the tremor in it gave evidence to his state of mind as clearly as if he'd screamed. "Don't play with me! You can't do things that you know will make me want you and then tell me _later_!" He tipped his face pleadingly, rising to his toes to reach the other's smiling mouth. "If you're not going to take care of it then, wait until you are.."

Tyki accepted the boy's kiss with a low hum of pleasure, his hands rising back to their former positions as he straightened despite the other's moan of protest. "But I want to prove my interest, Lovely.. I wouldn't want you to forget." Releasing his hold, he stepped back, nodding toward the nearby street. "We really should go, before Miss Porter loses all hope of our appearance."

Clenching his hands, the Exorcist nodded shortly. "Fine, then. But trust me, I won't forget." Following the brunette to the alley's end, he took a deep breath to calm his jangled nerves, joining him on the sidewalk after a moment. The street was mostly clear, leaving them with little to remark on while making their way to the building that was their destination. Mounting the steps, Lavi pulled up short when the other stopped, frowning in confusion at his amused once-over. "What now?"

The man smiled, shaking his head. "Nothing serious, but you should compose yourself a bit.. You look flustered." Laughing at the redhead's muttering, he continued onward, opening the door with a flourish. "After you, Lavi.."

The Exorcist huffed silently, entering the building without a second glance at the other. Hearing the door close softly behind them, he scanned the waiting area closely, relaxing faintly at its near-empty state. Spotting the smiling nurse at the station, he grinned in return. "Well, I bet you thought you were rid of us, huh?"

She rose quickly, her relief apparent as she crossed the room. "Oh, not really.. I thought something had come up. How are you today?" Her veiled curiosity was amusing, but before either man could respond, she continued. "You're actually in luck.. It's almost time for her next feeding."

Tyki smiled faintly, nodding toward his companion. "We had a bit of a slow start, but that's all been settled now.. And yes, that _is_ rather fortunate. How often does a child her age eat?"

Sarah gestured for the two to follow her, leading them down the familiar hallway. "About every three hours, give or take. It really depends on how active she is.. We try to keep her occupied so that she _will_ eat a little more, and put on some weight." Pushing the nursery doors open with one hand, she smiled at the pair's close attention. "Believe it or not, she's gained almost an entire pound this month.. We're extremely pleased with that, since she was so small at first."

Indicating the regular seats with a nod, she turned toward the room's second door. "I'll get her for you, so go on and make yourselves comfortable.. It won't be long." With that, she took her leave, the lighter doors swinging closed with a faint sound.

As her footsteps faded into the mix of other noises, Lavi sighed in exasperated relief. "Nice work, blaming the whole late morning on _me_. I'll remember that, too." Hearing the other's soft chuckle, he scowled. "Go right ahead and laugh. What goes around comes around, hey?"

The older man shrugged noncommittally, moving closer. "Indeed it does.. Should I be more careful of exactly what presents itself, Lavi?" He trailed a finger upward along the boy's spine, smiling at his quickened breaths. "Would that bring pleasant things back to me, or is it simply another old wive's tale?" His words drew a shaken gasp from the redhead, his face lowering to press slow kisses to the other's cheek as he stepped even nearer.

Lavi bit his lip to stifle a moan, tipping his head to escape the teasing touch. "Stop that, you know this isn't the right place to-" He inhaled sharply as the man's teeth closed on the lobe of his ear, his tongue following the shape of his earring teasingly. " _Tyki!_ Cut it out, someone might come in and-"

The brunette cut him off with a laugh, the sound raising gooseflesh over the Exorcist's skin. "But you taste so good, Lovely.. And we _did_ skip breakfast.." He moved from ear to throat, pausing just above the beat of the redhead's pulse with a smile. Pressing his open mouth to flesh, he sucked gently, closing his eyes at the boy's shaken noise. Pulling away, he laid his chin on the other's shoulder. "I thought you rather liked having my mouth on you.. Was I mistaken, Lavi?"

The boy shuddered noticeably, his eye closed tight against the onslaught of memories. "You know I do.." He muttered, leaning away from the older man's weight. "But you can't do that here, and you already told me that you won't do it later either! Don't _do_ things like that on purpose!"

Following his forward movement, Tyki hummed softly. "Would you stop me if we were somewhere else, Lavi..? I could wait until we leave, if you'd rather." He slipped one arm around the Exorcist's middle, pulling him firmly against himself. Shifting deliberately, he growled at the sensation of the boy's clothed rear, his opposite hand joining the first to keep him still. "If I were less concerned for your wellbeing, I'd have us home and naked in an instant, do you know..? This would be infinitely better without your clothes."

Gritting his teeth, the redhead took a slow breath. "Does mental wellbeing count..?" Glancing toward the doorway, he squirmed uncomfortably. "Just.. Don't, all right? Let's do what we came here to do and go back."

Tyki hummed faintly, relaxing his grip. "As you wish then.. But you surprise me again, Lovely." Smirking at the boy's confused sound, he allowed him to turn. "I had thought you would attempt to persuade me. From previous experience, you know."

Before the other could reply, the door swung open to reveal a faintly amused Sarah, her arms occupied with a vigorously rustling blanket. "She heard you talking, I think.. She's much more active lately, maybe she's started to associate being taken from the nursery with your visits."

Forcing down his nearly painful blush, the redhead smiled. "Because she's smart! Hello, Miki!" Reaching for the now violently thrashing bundle, he laughed at the girl's piercing squeals. "We missed you too! Have you been a good girl?" He ignored the older man's amused snort, gathering the child close against himself as he backed toward his seat. Settling himself carefully, he rearranged the mussed blanket, exposing the bright copper of her hair. "Looks _and_ brains.. You have it made, don't you?"

Glancing pointedly at the brunette, he nodded toward the empty chair beside him. "Get over here, don't you know that women need more than one source of flattery?" The man's raised eyebrow was offset by his growing smile, and the Exorcist hummed in mock indignance. "Hey, if I'm gonna sit here simpering all over myself, you're doing it too. Come on, you know you wanna."

Rolling his eyes heavenward for the benefit of their 'audience', Tyki nodded. "Of course, Lovely.. Why should only one of us play the fool?" Joining the other in his seat, he smiled at the girl's wide-eyed gaze, his brow furrowing as she shuddered minutely. "Little One..?" He stroked the back of her hand questioningly, his alarm growing as her shivers increased.

The Exorcist blinked in surprise at her reaction, mimicking the gesture atop her other hand. "Sarah, I think something's-"

He was cut off by the sudden grasp of a hand around his finger, the strength of it astonishing for the child's small size. Seeing her latch onto the brunette with equal ferocity, he took a quick breath, meeting the man's eyes curiously. "What-"

This time the interruption was vocal, the girl's piercing shriek of glee leaving them both stunned as she clutched both hands to herself. The watching nurse laughed at their shared bewilderment, covering her mouth hastily as the two jerked to attention.

"I'm so sorry, but the look on your _faces_ -" She dissolved into soft giggles, shaking her head. "She does that when she's excited, it's like she's so happy that she doesn't know what to do with herself.. You should be flattered!" Clearing her throat, she shrugged. "It's completely normal, if a bit soon for her age. I'm sorry if it frightened you."

Lavi huffed quietly, poking at the girl's side gently. "Meanie." The only reply was a quick squirm and a rapid kick of feet, her eyes mildly unfocused as she blinked expectantly up at the silent brunette.

After the span of several seconds, the older man chuckled, shaking his head at her scrutiny. "And here I was worried that we bored her.. May I, Lavi?" Allowing the boy a moment to shift his small burden accordingly, he drew the child closer, smiling at her contented sigh. "Thank you. And thank _you_ , Miki.. It's wonderful to know that my heart is in perfect working order."

She mumbled something around the finger now firmly clamped in her jaws, the tone unmistakably pleased.

Wincing at the fervent press of her gums, the brunette hummed questioningly. "Is she teething..? I thought that was quite a way down the road.."

Sarah nodded, taking an empty seat nearby. "It is. Most children don't start that until they're nearly six months." She smiled at the child's happy noises, taking a bottle from her apron pocket. "So, who gets this..? I could hold her while you discuss it."

Snickering at her wide smile, Lavi shrugged. "It's his turn. Besides, would you really want to see two grown men wrestle over a bottle?" Shrinking away from an errant elbow, he laughed. "He holds a grudge too.. I'd rather let him have his happytime than sleep with one eye open."

Watching the brunette maneuver himself into position, he sighed. "You're pretty good at that, aren't you..? It's almost funny how whipped you are."

Tyki glared halfheartedly across the squirming bundle in his arms, patiently allowing the child to latch onto the container. "Whipped..? Not by half, Lavi. And you're just as proficient at this as I." Smirking at the nurse's quiet laugh, he shrugged. "I'm a man of many talents, wouldn't you say?"

The Exorcist inhaled sharply at his tone, the insinuation lost on their small audience. "Yeah. I guess so." Shaking off his sudden anxiety, he leaned close. "Wow, she's already half done.. Didn't she eat earlier?"

The woman nodded, still smiling. "She did, but not as much as I would have liked." Inclining her head at the surprised brunette, she laughed. "Maybe she knew what time it was. Her noon feeding is usually the best for her, since she finishes the lot and falls directly to sleep. That helps her take more from the food, you know."

Lavi nodded in understanding, stroking the back of one tiny hand. "Good, then.. But I still think she likes it best when it's him. She just looks so relaxed." For a moment he was almost envious, but not entirely sure of _who_. Leaning back in his seat, he forced a smile. "It's great that she's happy, though. That helps too, right?"

The nurse nodded, accepting the now-empty bottle from the man. "I think so. Like I said, she really does seem to enjoy her time with the two of you, more than anything else." Her smile faded slightly, her voice low. "We still haven't managed to place her, so I'm grateful for any bit of happiness that we can give.. A hospital is really no place for a child to grow up."

The brunette winced, cradling the dozing infant against his chest. "No, it isn't. Is there any reason for that, besides the overcrowding?" He frowned at the answering headshake, straightening reluctantly as the girl began to settle closer in sleep. "It's a pity.. She's such a perfect child, you'd think that people would be lining up to adopt her." Offering the now limp child to the woman, Tyki sighed. "And again we've sent her to sleep with our seriousness.. I wonder if I should feel embarrassed at my lack of entertainment ability."

Sarah grinned at the girl's contented expression, tucking the blanket around her. "I'll just take her to bed now.. Excuse me for a moment, please." With that said, she left the room with careful steps, pausing to sit the empty bottle on the empty desk.

Scarcely had the doors swung shut behind the nurse before he found himself turned forcefully around, the other's arm once again tight around his waist. "Wha-" The rough press of the man's lips was startling, even if not entirely unexpected. Allowing his eye to close, he growled softly at the insistent stroke of a tongue along his skin, the sound rising into a choked whine when a hand curled deliberately against the front of his borrowed pants. Tearing his mouth away, he gasped. "Damn it, stop! There are people right outside the-"

Tyki stifled his protest with a second kiss, his fingers tracing the outline of the other's zipper. Withdrawing to speak, he squeezed gently. "But you like it.. And I could care less about other people just now."

The Exorcist clenched his hands tightly, nodding toward the thin door. " _I_ care! Sarah-"

Again he was halted by the other's mouth, the hand against his now-obvious arousal stilling. "Is a grown woman. And most likely to take a bit longer."

As if summoned by his assurance, the nurse in question emerged from the doorway, her cheeks flushed as she regarded the two for a moment before speaking. "Well, I'm sure she'll sleep much better now.. Will you be coming tomorrow as well?"

Pushing away from the smiling brunette, Lavi nodded awkwardly. "Probably. I think it'll be a little earlier than today, too." Clearing his throat meaningfully, he glanced in the man's direction. "Thanks for taking such good care of her, she looks a lot better now that she's getting bigger."

Tyki hummed in agreement, placing a hand atop the redhead's spine innocently. "Yes, thank you.. Now if you'll excuse us, there were some things that needed tending. Good day, Miss Porter." With that, he urged the Exorcist toward the door, ignoring his attempts to step away from the light touch.

Once outside the building, the boy rounded on him indignantly, his cheeks hot. "I can't believe you did that! Have you completely lost your mind, Tyki?"

The older man laughed quietly, shrugging. "Perhaps I have, Lovely.. It must be due to your incredibly stimulating presence." Indicating the street with a nod, he descended the stairs. "Could you forgive me, this once..? I'll be much more careful in the future."

His demeanor all but screamed falsehood, but the boy ignored his irritation in favor of verbal response. "Sure you will, as long as I stay far enough away from you in public."Allowing the man to lead him toward their usual alley, the redhead was far too preoccupied with the knowing smirk and narrowed eyes of his companion to notice the robed figure that gaped stupidly at his departing back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Shaking off his shock, the man fumbled awkwardly with the communications golem tucked securely inside his pocket, unravelling the connector cable from its place on the side of the large box he carried upon his back. Attaching the tiny device to the terminal, he fidgeted anxiously as the object chattered to life.

_"Science Department."_

The Finder cleared his throat, almost trembling with the enormity of his news. "I need to speak to Supervisor Li _immediately._ " The line crackled with empty air for a moment, then a mildly bored voice replaced the first.

_"The Supervisor is busy doing nothing. What was the message?"_

Sighing in annoyance, the man pressed a hand to his forehead. "This is Finder #828-K72. I'm supposed to be looking into a report of activity in the downtown district of Newport, on the Isle of Wight." Taking a breath, he leaned against the side of the building behind him. "I think.. No, I'm **sure** that I just found your missing Exorcist."

There was a muffled thump, and a quick exchange of voices, one of which sounded decidedly urgent, if groggy. After several seconds of muted arguing, a third voice replaced the second. _"This is Komui Li. What do you mean, found? Is he..?"_

The obvious question was clear, despite the crispness of his tone. Straightening quickly, the Finder hummed. "He seems fine. More than fine, by the look of him." Swallowing, he ignored the other's abortive questions. "He wasn't alone. I saw him here on the street not five minutes ago.. With a man that I know to be a Noah."

Narrowing his eyes at the memory of the Exorcist's clear willingness, he clenched his free hand into a fist. "It was Tyki Mikk, Sir. They came out of-" He glanced quickly at the building's plaque, mildly surprised at the word's there. "Kerrington Hospital. Then they left, together."

There was a long pause, then the older man replied quietly. _"Thank you for reporting it. If you'll go back to your hotel, I'll send someone out there right away.. It shouldn't be more than two days."_

A faint click signaled the end of the transmission, and the Finder carefully disconnected his golem with a wan smile. Even if the war _was_ over, there should still be a sense of loyalty, he thought, stowing the smallish device in a pocket and shouldering his pack. If the former Exorcist thought that he could simply vanish to set up house with an enemy..

He snorted, turning in the direction of his hotel.

Well, it wouldn't matter what he thought, once someone with the means to _inform_ him of his mistake arrived.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The trip back to the other's home was much less leisurely than their departure, the redhead's arms locked around the man's neck as he pressed their mouths together with a hungry sound that the older man echoed softly. When the need for air became urgent, he leaned back reluctantly, releasing his hold and stepping away. "That was _awful_ , Tyki.. If you'd been any more obvious about it.."

The Noah laughed, removing his coat with a careless shrug. "I thought my meaning was perfectly clear.. It isn't as if you didn't understand me." Setting the garment aside, he advanced on the other, his eyebrows lifting as the boy retreated a step. "Did you understand, Lavi..? I could explain it in more detail, if necessary."

The redhead inhaled quickly, frowning at the man's intent expression. "No, I understood you just _fine._ I think everyone else did, too." Continuing his steady retreat, he shook his head. "You don't have to explain anything, you telling me that we couldn't do what you kept hinting at explained it all."

The other man's pursuit was equally steady, his slow steps bringing him well into reach of the object of his scrutiny. Lifting a hand to the boy's chest, he smiled lazily. "If you believed it to be nothing more than a hint, I certainly think I should make an effort to explain." He stroked his palm downward, moving closer with a hum. "I intended to show you exactly what it was that I wanted, Lovely.. And how much."

The Exorcist blinked in surprise at the intimate touch, his mouth suddenly dry. "You didn't _care_ that we were almost in the street, then..? What did you really think would happen, in a place like that?" He fought to continue around the lump that had taken root in his throat, his heartbeat abnormally loud in his ears. "That could have been the worst idea you've ever had, weren't you worried at all?"

Tyki nodded firmly, his fingers drawing slow lines over the material of the other's shirt. "I would have at least given a thought to your knees.. Alleys hardly make for the best sex, after all." His eyes narrowed thoughtfully, his voice lowering almost conspiratorially. "Or perhaps I'm wrong. Do you think it would be satisfying, to indulge in something so completely that the place didn't matter? I can't speak for you, but it could be worthwhile to make the attempt.."

Shivering with repressed heat, the redhead leaned back, the doorframe pushing uncomfortably into his shoulder. "Don't. You know better than to-" Tyki laughed quietly, moving closer despite the other's clear reluctance.

"Know better? What I _know_ is irrelevant, Lovely.. But perhaps not. After all, I'm supposed to be learning about you, aren't I?" He lifted a hand to the Exorcist's face, stroking the curve of his lip with a finger. "I've known you long enough to see that you don't really want me to stop.. I think you would much rather have me continue, until one of us needs to rest." The boy's eye widened almost comically, his faint shaking becoming more pronounced.

"You said.. We couldn't. That it was too soon for.." He turned his head away from the man's touch, clenching his hands. "Was it because of this..? You wanted me to think that we wouldn't be able to do these things, just to make me want it _more_?"

The brunette's mouth curled into a slow smile, his eyes wide with false innocence that suddenly made the Exorcist's blood boil. "It wasn't enough to know I'd want you anyway, Tyki? You had to play with me until it was like this?" He glared at the older man steadily, the maddening expression on the other's face fading into astonishment at the bite in his tone. "You think its amusing, don't you..? Because you know I wouldn't turn you down, even if you used my willingness to torture me. You wanted me to be like this, so that you'd be able to have me when you were damned good and ready."

Growling angrily, he shoved himself away from the wall, taking hold of the man's arm. "That's _it_." He hissed, jerking the surprised brunette along as he strode to the bed. "You think it's funny, always reminding me that I crave this? For once, you should close your damned mouth and let me have you." Turning to face the other, he flinched at his wide-eyed confusion. "Don't look at me like that, either! You've been teasing me ever since this morning, and you know it!"

Catching the man's free arm, he turned him around, backing him towards the edge of the bed. When his knees hit the mattress, he pushed him down, keeping a tight grip on his arms as he dropped into his lap to hold him still. "I'm not going to beg this time, Tyki! You told me that you want to be mine, so let's see if you meant it. Don't you _move._ " Fixing the man with a steely look, he rose to his feet, tugging his shirt off with a jerk. "Get rid of yours too, or I will."

Still slightly alarmed by the boy's sudden ferocity, Tyki complied, his hands clumsy as he fumbled with his buttons without lowering his eyes. "Lovely, I- " Lavi kicked off his pants and shoes, cutting him off with a glare.

"Shut _up._ The only thing I want you to say is my name. Later, when I'm making you sorry that you're such a fucking tease." Stepping forward, he gripped the man's knees, pushing them up to reach his shoes. "You're too slow, Tyki.. I really don't have much patience, so you'd better work on those damned pants unless you want me to do it for you." Dropping the other's shoes carelessly, he shoved his undergarments over his hips, stepping out of them.

Seeing the older man's mouth open to reply, he shook his head, moving forward to straddle him as he pressed their lips together. Licking his way into the brunette's mouth, he sucked gently at the tip of his tongue, his hands busy with the fastenings of his pants. Leaning back for air, he urged the man's hips up, tugging his pants and underwear down with a growl.

"I hope that bottle is close enough to reach, Tyki.. Think you could see about _that_ , at least?" He smirked at the other's half-dazed expression, sliding back to lap firmly at the skin of his stomach. Lifting his head, he raised an eyebrow curiously. "We could always do without, if you'd rather.. Maybe I could try licking you until you're wet enough?"

Pushing himself upright, the older man shook his head quickly, unnerved by the redhead's determined face. "No! You.. We won't need to, it's right-" Lavi snatched the proffered bottle from his hand, working open the top with a smirk.

"Fine. Now that _that's_ out of the way, lay down."

Tyki sucked in a breath, blinking in surprise as the boy tipped the oil into his palm. "Lavi, do you.. _Oh, Gods..!_ " He bucked upward, moaning breathlessly at the Exorcist's slickened hand on his skin. "I thought.. that.. _Wait!_ Lovely, you still need..!" Lavi shoved him back to his elbows, climbing up to sit astride his lap.

"What I **need** is for you to stop moving. I'm pretty sure it's been long enough, you act like I'm still a fucking _virgin_." Taking advantage of the man's guilty pause, he took hold of his arms below the elbow, his weight keeping the other from rising. "Don't _ever_ tease me like that again. If you want it, take it. Here, I'll give you an example."

Lifting himself to his knees, he pushed back against the older man's body, ignoring the sharp pang at the suddenness of the movement. Meeting the brunette's panicked gaze, he shifted deliberately, fingers tightening on his arms as he hissed. "I told you, I'm not going to beg. Are you?" He rocked forward slowly, holding his direct stare. "I don't mind you talking, if you do that.. Didn't you want this too?"

Tyki nodded jerkily, fighting the urge to raise his hips to meet the boy's descent. "Yes.. All day." He gasped haltingly as the Exorcist continued to move, his eyes closing at the sensation. "Please, Lavi.. I want to.."

"No."

He blinked up at the redhead in surprise, that single word sending a rush of heat up his spine. "..No? You expect me not to move at _all_?"

The smile he got in reply was almost mocking, despite the light tone of voice. "You're pretty smart, when you want to be.. What is it that you want, Tyki? You always expect me to tell _you_ what's good, why don't you try a little of it yourself?"

The boy's eye was almost unnaturally bright, the flush in his cheeks closer to fever heat than passion, but the steadiness of his movements spoke volumes about the sincerity of his words. Tipping his head back, the former Noah panted softly, baring his throat in invitation. "Anything.. Mark me as I did you, if you wish.. I don't mind your mouth being _anywhere_ on me, Lovely."

Laughing quietly, the Exorcist leaned in, licking a slow trail over the visibly rushed beat of his pulse. "I should," He mumbled, increasing his pace. "But I'm not really into blood. Is there something else you want?" Feeling the man's muscles tense beneath him, he stayed close, allowing his lips to brush the other's skin as he spoke. "I think I like you like this.. You look good on your back, Tyki."

Shaking his head, the older man struggled to reply. "But I'm not, Lovely.. It doesn't matter though, where you are is _perfect._ " He shuddered raggedly, his hands tightening into fists as he moaned. "Gods.. Are you really not going to let me move, Lavi?"

The boy released his hold on one arm, cupping his palm around the brunette's neck. Urging his face up, he kissed him deeply, his fingers winding into the back of his hair. Breaking away for air, he took in the older man's expression, humming contentedly at the silent pleading in his eyes. "You made me wait this long, didn't you? It's only fair that you wait, too.." He pressed closer, nipping at the other's shoulder with a whine.

"It's not enough, Tyki? Tell me what's better, then." He intensified his movements, the quickening lift and slide drawing a low moan from them both. "Do you need more than this? Tell me, damn it!"

Tyki nodded eagerly, growling at the feeling of the boy's lips on his throat. "Don't stop.. You can do anything else you want, Lovely, but please..Ah!" He bucked in surprise as the redhead ground against him, his eyes closing tightly at the other's halting cry. "I'm sorry for making you wait, Lavi.. Please let me.." His voice deserted him entirely when the Exorcist gasped his name, the fingers in his hair shaking noticeably as he moved.

"Let you what, Tyki? Tease me? You've been doing _that_ for hours.." He tugged his hand free of the other's hair, stroking his upper back and shoulders. "You've had your mouth on me too.. Even at the hospital." He licked along the side of the man's jaw, pausing to nibble just below his ear. "I think poor Sarah actually saw you, the second time.. The look on her face.. I think she liked watching us."

He laughed at the older man's choked moan. "Is that what you wanted, Tyki? To let people watch while you do dirty things to me?" Repeating his slow grind, he sighed. "You can't do that right out in public though.. Were you going to bring them here? You'd better be sure they keep their hands to themselves.."

Tyki hissed a negative, lifting his hips to meet the boy's steady rocking. "You know I wouldn't do that, Lavi. And if anyone tried to touch you, I'd kill them."

Humming in amusement, the Exorcist released his hold on the other entirely, his free hand joining it's mate on the man's shoulders as he smirked. "Is that a promise, Tyki? I'd be more worried about people touching _you_ , but you never know.." He closed his eye with a ragged sound, his nails leaving faint impressions on the other's skin. "God, you feel so fucking good like this.. I think I'd kill someone before I'd share you anyway."

The older man gasped in surprise, his fingers all but aching as he clutched the blankets in a whiteknuckled grip. "You'll never have to.. This is more than enough for me, Lovely." He growled at the boy's deliberately increased tightness, shaking his head jerkily. "And that's nearly too much.. I love the way you feel.."

Lavi moaned in agreement, his motions slowing as he panted. "S'why I want you all to myself.. Hate it when you tease." Lowering his head to claim a brief kiss, he shivered. "I just want it so bad.. And it's a game for you.."

The brunette shook his head firmly, tipping his face back for a second brush of lips. "It isn't, not at all.. We're the same." Allowing the boy to urge him back onto his elbows, he groaned at the rough press of restraining hands. "Must you, Lavi..? I want to feel everything.."

The Exorcist stifled a pleaful sound, his grip loosening as he shifted his weight. The change of angle left him breathless, pleasure momentarily robbing him of both air and voice. "Touch me." He choked, releasing the man abruptly. "I want your hands on me, Tyki." Before he could draw a breath to speak again, the brunette's arm wrapped firmly around his waist, his free hand supporting his weight as he pulled the boy down as roughly as he dared.

He caught the other's mouth with equal fervor, hissing at his needy response. "I hope you're as close as I think you are.. There's no way I can.. Lovely, oh _God_ -" He moaned brokenly, his hand leaving the bed to take hold of the Exorcist's back. _"M-mais..! Não pare.."_

Even without understanding the words, his tone conveyed their meaning to the panting redhead, the man's shaking muscles spurring him on to a more demanding rhythm. "No way you can what, Tyki? Are you that close already?" He laughed breathlessly, stroking the older man's side. "Good. I wouldn't want to come without you.."

The brunette's fingers closed almost painfully against his skin, his mouth pressed to the side of his throat as he bucked desperately into the boy's movements. "Won't.. _agora..mes- Lavi!_ " He cried out raggedly, his arms locked around the Exorcist as he came with shocking force. The redhead's release followed by mere half-seconds, the trembling clench of his body drawing a roughened groan from the older man as he rocked his hips upward in reaction. Panting for air, he kissed and nipped a path from the boy's neck to his lips, pausing only long enough to take a deep breath before sealing their mouths together hungrily.

The Exorcist returned his kiss with definite interest, his weight shifting suggestively even as he pulled back for air. "Again, then..? If you're gonna make me wait 'til some other day for more, you might as well make today count.." He silenced the brunette's protest with a second kiss, his hands stroking the sweat-tacky skin of his back and shoulders. "It's easier to wait if you do that.. Didn't you say that you wouldn't leave me unsatisfied?" Biting his lip, he tightened his embrace deliberately, bringing their bodies together with a soft moan. "It isn't enough, not yet.. Don't you want me?"

Tyki groaned at his pleaful question, burying his face against the junction of throat and shoulder. "Lovely, I honestly can't think of anything that I want more than you.. But that doesn't justify harming you-"

The redhead shivered at the vibration of words on skin, shaking his head jerkily. "I just.. I _need_ you! Isn't it all right if we don't do so much all the time? I promised that I'd tell you if it hurt.." Forcing himself upright, he inhaled deeply. "Let me go, then. I'll just wait until you're ready." Leaning away from the other, he sighed at the stubborn grip of his arms. "Forget about it, Tyki. It's not worth fighting over."

The older man studied his face carefully, frowning when the boy averted his gaze. "It isn't, but I trust you.. Kiss me, Lavi? I should like to do things properly this time.." He leaned forward invitingly, humming at the renewed contact of skin. "Have what you need, until it _is_ enough."

Nuzzling against the redhead's cheek, he sighed. "It's myself that I don't trust.. I can't remember being with anyone who made me want them the way that I want you, Lovely." He stroked the Exorcist's back slowly, laughing at the sudden hitch in his breath. "It's almost embarrassing when I think about it.. No matter how much you offer me, I still yearn for more."

Whimpering shakily, Lavi clung to the other with fierce strength, his voice strained with sudden urgency. "Don't _be_ like that! You don't have to worry about trusting yourself with me, I already told you what I wanted!" He buried his fingers into the man's dampened hair, tugging his face up insistently. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, he shook his head jerkily. "I'm here for anything you need, Tyki! If you want me, have me.. Aren't I yours..?"

The man nodded quickly, tightening his hold possessively. " _Yes._ That's why I want to be sure of your comfort." He smiled darkly, the expression sending a surprised shiver along the other's spine. "And really, why would I want to damage the thing that pleases me so..? I doubt that either one of us wants to wait any longer than we must, yes?" The redhead's abrupt stillness brought him up short, his smile fading. "Lavi? What-" Mentally backtracking, he inhaled sharply at his careless wording. "I didn't mean it like-"

The Exorcist shook his head firmly, ignoring the bright surge of anger at the other's flippant remark. "It doesn't matter, Tyki. I know what you meant." Rocking his weight backward, he hummed questioningly. "Now, or is there something else you want to say first..?" Frowning at the man's stubborn expression, he rose to his knees, wincing at the separation of their bodies. "You know, I think I've changed my mind. Just forget about it, huh?"

The brunette's eyes widened in alarm, his hands reaching for the other's shoulders. "If you'd rather not talk now, it can wait! Don't be angry, please?"

Lavi growled in rising annoyance, wrenching away from his hold. "I wasn't! You just don't know when to talk and when to fuck!" Snorting at the man's startled noise, he moved to the edge of the bed. "That's why we keep having the same arguments over and over. You need to concentrate on one or the other." Pushing himself to his feet, he shook his head. "Right now, I really don't feel like doing either of those things. I'm going to take a bath."

Before he had taken more than a halfdozen steps toward his intended destination, the man halted him with a tight grip on one wrist, the suddenness of it wrenching him around with more force than the other had expected. His indignant sound was cut off by a faint shake from the brunette, his eyes narrowed.

"I don't think so, Lovely. That isn't the sort of thing that one says if they don't wish to discuss it." Pulling the Exorcist forward, he returned his angry stare evenly despite his discomfort. "If something comes out badly, I tend to apologise when it matters." Resisting the boy's attempts to dislodge him, he frowned. "Stop that. I'm not through with you just yet."

Lavi all but hissed in wrath, yanking roughly at his held arm. "So we're back to that? Should I wait while you find some rope, Tyki?"

The man released his hold as if burned, stepping back with a quick breath. "You know better. If you're really so concerned for your safety, you should take more care when you pick your battles." Gesturing at the door to the bathroom, he sighed. "Have at it, then.. But eventually there _will_ be a need for that conversation, Lavi. I'll see to dinner, unless you think I might attempt to poison you?" Without waiting for the redhead to reply, he strode to the bedside, retrieving his pants. Stepping into them, he left the room, closing the door behind him with a muted thud.

For a moment, the Exorcist stared after him, his hands shaking with spent nerves. Then, he sighed quietly, turning to enter the bathroom. Once inside, he quickly located a washcloth and soap, setting them nearby as he adjusted the water's temperature to somewhat less than scalding. Waiting for the tub to fill, he regarded himself in the rapidly fogging mirror, mildly alarmed by the visible anger that remained on his face. "It wasn't really that bad.. I know he didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but-"

_**'He meant exactly what he said. Right now, we're still only a thing to him.'** _

Wincing at the inner reminder, he shook his head. "I'm sure he just picked the wrong word, he never treats me like-"

_**'Yes, he does. He plays with you when he chooses, and then he puts you away when he's done. But that's all right for now, isn't it?'** _

He swallowed heavily, unwilling to pursue that particular train of thought. "I don't want it to be that way! Everything's been so much better, I want to keep it like this.."

The other's tone changed, becoming sympathetic. _**'You can't let things like that go, it makes every bit of the work you've done into something pointless.. Doesn't he deserve more than just a thing?'**_

Lavi nodded rapidly, shutting off the water with jerky movements. "He does, but I don't want to argue anymore! I don't have time to waste on fighting, not when he could decide that he doesn't need-"

 _ **'We have all the time in the world. Didn't he say so? He's never wanted anyone else the way he wants us..'**_ Before he could deny the statement, the voice continued, the sound of it oddly choral. _**'What we did before, he liked that.. He loved the way you took what you both wanted, without any excuses or apologies. More of that would please him, and you wouldn't be so easy to label as only a thing, then..'**_

Gritting his teeth, he stepped into the tub with a gasp at it's temperature, barely remembering to take his supplies as he sank to his knees. Lathering the cloth thoroughly, he drew it over the proof of their activities, the sting of heated liquid against his skin making him shudder. "I can't be that way all the time, or even most of the time.. He just made me so damn _mad.._ "

 _ **'Not all the time, just when you need to be.. We'll help you until there's no need.'**_ This time, there was no sensation of change whatsoever, only a feeling of controlled purpose to show that an event of note had taken place at all.

As he continued to scrub at his sensitized flesh, he wondered for an instant if he should be alarmed by the ease of the act, but the thought was driven away by the sight of faint pink markings mixed in with the foamy white of soap. "Ah, dammit.." Rinsing himself with quick motions, he shook his head. "At least we aren't sharing the bath, he'd never let me forget this.. But it was worth it."

The other remained silent, but there was a definite sense of agreement. Relathering the cloth, he carefully rinsed and wrung it until no evidence of blood remained, nodding in satisfaction at the result. Pulling the drain plug, he stood carefully, the lingering soreness of his muscles forgotten as he dropped the cloth into the hamper and reached for a towel. Carefully avoiding the most painful areas, he dried himself briskly, realizing with a start that his face was unaccountably bare. Glancing hurriedly around the small room, he bit his lip at the scrap of material atop the counter, replacing the eyepatch with a confused murmur. "When did I.."

Shrugging tiredly, he cast his dampened towel in the direction of the clothes hamper, pulling open the door. The cooler air of the bedroom left goosebumps across his exposed skin, but he ignored the feeling in favor of more important things. "He's still not here.. But that's ok. He'd better not start up again when he comes back, unless he really _does_ have that rope handy.."

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Yeah, isn't that just an awful way to end a chapter. But besides the pain of enduring only one lemon per chapter, feel free to tell me what you think. Preferably before you fave or alert list me or this fic. Thanks for your former reviews, and thanks for reading.


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